My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay
by Unicorn of death
Summary: Roxas knows that for him, his older sister Megan and his older brother Demyx, life will never be normal. But things get even weirder when Megan's theories turn out to be true, as well as her hunch about Roxas's new friend... Yaoi, swearing, full warnings within.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

**Pairings: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

"Can you feel it?" I whispered, my fingers tightening on my knee. I had almost forgotten that there was someone else sat beside me for a moment; I had almost brushed it, I had nearly felt it, I was sure.

"I'm not sure what I'm meant to be feeling, Megan."

I leapt to my feet. "The fire! The fire, for God's sake, we're trying to find the fire! Did you even read the email I sent you last night?"

"Yeah, and none of it made any sense, but you refuse to explain in person." The dirty blonde squirmed in his seat, obviously not looking forward to my reaction.

"It made perfect sense, Demyx!" I exploded, kicking the doorframe. "I know that we can control the fire, Demyx! I'm sure that we can talk to it; it can't just be a few people who can do it! If we can just _find_ it..." I trailed off wistfully, filled with desire that some may have called "pyromania".

Really, I couldn't help it. I had been researching this for a year now. Fire Whisperers were everywhere, I was so sure. Some people even blamed them for things like crop circles, claiming that cornfields were the ideal testing grounds for their powers, and if they did it right, it could look like it was totally inexplicable, like aliens or witchcraft or –

"Megan, you're starting to worry me. Have you ever _met _a Fire Whisperer? Have you ever – erm – have you ever actually talked to fire?" He was treating me like a crazy person. I wasn't crazy. Naminé told me so, and she knew me at least as well as Dem did.

"No, Dem, but I _know_ that it's possible. Roxas believes me." This added a whole lot of strength to my argument. Demyx trusted Roxas like a blind person trusts their guide dog. "He said so the other day."

"He also said that Seifer was a perfectly nice guy and that I was heterosexual! He just wants to keep everyone happy, Meg." I scowled. He _knew_ not to call me Meg. "Megan, I'm sorry, but I don't think that this is going to happen."

I strode over to my chest of drawers and ripped open the drawer labelled "Underwear". There wasn't a single bra or pair of panties in there; instead it was filled to the brim with sheets of paper, some only taken out of the packet yesterday and others crumpled and slightly yellow with age.

"Here you are, Demyx. A year of blood, sweat and tears, all culminating in you backing out on me and Roxas being too busy with Hayner. Oh, and Naminé is in Hollow Bastion for the week. Those reports are meticulous and detailed, and these," I held up my hands, "are the papercuts that prove it. Everything is handwritten, typed up and saved on my computer, and stored on my memory stick just in case. It's not a silly little phase, Demyx, no matter how much you act like it is. It's like – it's like an obsession. I know that we can talk to fire, Demyx, you and me and Roxas and Naminé, anybody could talk to fire if –"

"Why would I want to talk to fire? I'm scared of fire, Megan. I want to be able to talk to water. Teach me how to do that, then I'll be on your side."

"You'll be on my side anyway, if you want a certain Zexion McEmoface to ever pay you any attention," I said, reminding him not-so-gently of the deal we'd made yesterday. He had an enormous crush on some guy called Zexion, and I knew far more about the kid than I needed to. Things like his shoe size and the brand of deodorant he used after PE. I couldn't be accused of insanity by a guy who stalked his crushes, could I?

Demyx sighed. "Dad wouldn't like to think that you're emotionally blackmailing me, Meg."

I snarled. "I don't give a flying fuck about Dad! You wouldn't tell him, anyway. That bastard called Roxas a fag last week, you were there, you heard him, he said "Stop spending some much time with that Hayner kid, you little fag". You couldn't possibly tell him that I was threatening you about Zexion."

Demyx pouted and I felt a wave of guilt knock me off my figurative surfboard. He was so innocent, more a big puppy than a big brother. Technically we weren't even related; we were both adopted, as was the youngest, our lickle Roxas. (He reacts to being called Roxie the same way I react to being called Meggy – with a fist.) Demyx and Roxas shared the same blonde hair, though Dem's was darker. I twiddled my own dark locks a little resentfully – I didn't look like I had anything to do with the two of them, but my adoptive brothers _did_ come across as related – if not brothers, then cousins, maybe, or uncle and nephew. I just looked like the odd one out, my eyes dark brown and my hair darker, my skin positively _white_ in contrast to Roxas and Dem's healthy pinkish-brownish.

"Megan?" Demyx said, interrupting me. "Do you think Dad would hate me if he found out I was gay?"

"You mean, if he hasn't already noticed?" I asked, pointing to the greenish-blue scarf around his neck. He muttered something about it bringing out his eyes and I smiled. "Anyone who has it in themselves to hate you should be burned on the spot." I remembered what Dem had said about fire and water. "Or drowned, if you prefer."

Demyx smiled uncertainly and put a hand on my forearm. I'm not massive on the whole touching-people thing – unless it's to punch them in the face – but I could tolerate it from Dem and Roxas. And sometimes Naminé, my best friend (most of the time), if she caught me on the right day and didn't prolong it. "Megan? I'm sorry about it not working earlier. I'm sure you'll find the fire soon."

"And then I can get to work on the water for you," I said, grinning and pulling my arm away. "Now let's get some ice cream."

"Sea salt?" he asked, and I shook my head, pulling a face.

"If it weren't for Roxas then I think the sea salt ice cream industry would go bust. That stuff is vile. No, I was thinking chocolate for you and mint for me."

Demyx got slowly to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. That was a habit of his that only arose when he was thinking.

"Megan, I'm really glad you're my little sister. Even if you don't act like the younger one." I knew what Demyx was saying and I knew where he was coming from, and I nodded, smiling slightly, as we left to get totally not salty ice creams.

**Roxas**

I strolled into the office at 8:08am exactly, two minutes earlier than I was told to be there. The secretary pointed to the blue chairs that the "bad kids" normally sat in and I nodded, trying for a polite smile. I thoroughly disliked the fake-blonde, obvious-boob-job secretary who spent a large part of her time filing her nails and talking about calories. I had an enormous amount of respect for women – Megan had pummelled it into me over the years – but as she frequently told me, "A female misogynist is at least as bad as a male one". In short, the girls who followed and enforced the sexist rules were no better than the people who conjured them up. Something along those lines, anyway.

I lowered myself onto the blue chair furthest from the door I'd entered through and waited, trying to enjoy the bristly pot plant that dug into my arm. I didn't want to move now that I had sat down for fear of drawing the secretary's attention. I was too bad at feigning politeness to afford another encounter with her.

The doors flew open after a painful forty-two seconds (there was an absolutely fascinating clock on the wall that saved me from looking at the secretary's totally unflattering eyeshadow) but it wasn't my new "assignment" coming through the door – it was Megan, being brutally pushed by Dr. Vexen.

"Sit on the blue chairs and stay there until I return with the headmaster!" he commanded, not even looking at me. She gave him a terrifying death glare – oh, sweet nostalgia – before turning on the heel of her size 6 combat boot and throwing herself onto a chair beside me.

I waited until Vexen had gone to talk. "Megan, what the Hell did you do? If you get held back again then I swear –"

"Chill, Roxas, I doubt I'll be held back again." I hoped so – having Megan in my class would be torture, especially since she was meant to be graduating with Demyx this year and already resented the fact that he was ahead of her. "It's just that _apparently_, giving homemade tattoos to my classmates is against school rules. Well, I've read the school rules five times, front to back, to find all the loopholes, and nowhere does it say that I can't _give_ tattoos. I just can't _have_ them."

"That's like saying that you can deal drugs, as long as you don't take them." I kept the arm closest to Megan nice and relaxed, because punches hurt tensed muscles more. Or was that needles? Oh, well, best not to take any risks.

"Actually, there's a rule against dealing _and_ using in the school rules," she said, the point flying over her head. I gave up and sighed.

"At least you're not in the shrink's office again. God, I _hate_ Marluxia." I shuddered at the memory of his sickly smile when he'd asked me how _I_ felt about Megan's "little fire problem". I felt fine about it. Endless research kept her out of trouble more than anything else ever had, and it was sort of fun sometimes, trying to "feel the fire" with my eyes closed, legs crossed and sitting on pillows in her room, like meditating.

"N'aww, I love Marly," she said. She had spent far more time in there than she should have, probably because of her habit of talking to the Bunsen burners during Chemistry lessons, trying to get the fire to listen to her. Oh, and the violence, though Marly said that that was "perfectly understandable" for a girl her age and that it "wasn't to be worried about".

"The fact that you feel some affection for the school counsellor, as well as using his nickname, suggests to me that you spend too much time with him," I joked, and was rewarded with a fairly light thump. "It's eleven minutes past – they're late."

Megan smirked. "I'm normally about ten minutes late for every lesson, if not more, and teachers don't bat an eyelid. Don't fret over just one minute, Roxas."

I took a look at my older sister. It didn't feel like we were both adopted. Well, Dad didn't really feel like a dad. But Megan was my aggressive, loving big sister with a mouth larger than it should have been, and Demyx was the enormous softy that looked after both of us.

Megan looked down at her black painted, heavily bitten nails with just a hint of unease in her face. "You don't think they'd kick me out, do you, Roxas?"

"No, I don't," I lied warmly, laying a hand on her arm. If I'd been anyone else, my hand wouldn't have remained attached to my wrist for very long. "I bet you'll be fine, Megan." I glanced at the clock. In just twenty seconds it would be 8:13am... ten... five...

"Alright, which of you bitches it showing me around this dump?" someone introduced himself by saying, tumbling through the double doors on the other side of the room. He looked Megan and I up and down, and we surveyed him.

He had ridiculously spiky red hair, all kept away from his face, which was pale (not Megan-pale, though – that girl was unhealthy) and bore tattoos beneath both eyes – eyes that stopped me in my tracks. They were, well, green.

So what, you ask? There are loads of green-eyed people around. Hell, sometimes Megan's eyes looked a little green. But this guy's eyes were the green of... of a lime lollipop, clear, sparkling, just-a-little-sour green. And they had eyeliner on them, not as much as Megan but more than Demyx usually wore, making them look narrower, almost like cat's eyes. And then I realised a disturbing something else.

He was attractive.

I looked away quickly, glanced at my feet, then looked back at him, talking to his shoulder. "I – um – I am." I stood up and held out a hand, hoping it wasn't shaking. What the Hell? This was a _guy_, for fuck's sake. Demyx was the gay one, not me. And either way, it wasn't like me to develop a crush so soon – like, at-first-sight sort of soon. "I'm Roxas."

"Cool," he said, shaking my hand. His palm was very, _very_ warm. I made the decision never to tell Megan this in case she decided to start talking about Fire Whisperers again. Speaking of Megan... She was sitting on the very edge of her seat, her mouth hanging slightly open. I looked at her questioningly and she shook her head like there was water in her ears. She was still raking her eyes up and down this guy, not like she was checking him out, more like she expected something from him. _Oh God, please don't let this guy become a victim of Megan's fire obsession._ I broke away from the handshake first, cramming my fists into my pockets. "Um..."

"Gosh, Roxie, don't look so scared, I don't bite." My jaw clenched and I think Megan saw it, because she piped up.

"I wouldn't call him Roxie. His older brother still has bruises from the last time he tried that."

"And who might you be?" he shot back, the green in his eyes reminding me suddenly of venom.

"I'm the girl who'll pummel you into the ground if you're not nice to my little brother over there," she said, gesturing to me as she stood up. After a while you kind of got used to the gut-wrenching embarrassment of your big sister fighting all your battles for you. And it wasn't like it didn't have its advantages...

"Oh, really?" he said, cocking a crimson eyebrow.

"Megan, don't..." I muttered as she took a step forwards. "Really, Megan..."

"Oh, we have a Meggy here, do we?" he smirked, standing his ground. Oh, shit. I got out from between the two of them sharpish as Megan crossed the room and grabbed his shirt.

"Don't. Call me. Meggy." She was slightly pink in the face and I feared for the new guy's life.

"Why's that, Meggy?" he asked, and she pulled an arm back, ready to hit him. I grabbed hold of her and pulled her back; she was a whole lot taller than me and it was only her surprise that meant I was able to move her at all.

The doors swung open and two angels in the form of Vexen, the Chem teacher, and Xemnas, the principal, strode in.

"What is going on here?" Xemnas demanded, standing tall and proud behind the new kid.

"Roxas is giving me a hug, what did it look like?" Megan sarcasmed (no, sarcasm isn't a verb. But it should be), prying my hands off her punching arm.

"Oh, it's that Megan girl again. Vexen, what did I say in the staff meeting? Just send her straight to Marluxia." Megan's jaw dropped and the redheaded newbie looked confused.

"Marluxia? That's all? I gave half my grade free tattoos! Including Seifer! And you're just going to send me to the counsellor?"

"Seifer? You've been hanging out with him again?" I asked. Megan looked over at me.

"He overheard me begging Naminé to let me practice tattooing on her and offered to let me do it on him. Keep your head on, Roxas, I was just enjoying his pain when I stuck the needles into him." I scowled. I had never liked Seifer, but after what happened last year with the pumpkin in my sister's bedroom...

"Megan, I don't think you need punishment, I think you need help," Xemnas said, as Vexen stammered his disbelief. He hated Megan. Most teachers did. "Your obsession with "talking to fire" is nothing short of worrying. Go on, off you go. I assume you know where Marluxia's office is?"

Megan was still in a bad mood from being called "Meggy" by the new kid, and she looked ready to "feel the fire" – and to direct it straight at Xemnas. "I permanently inked a _skull_ onto Seifer's _ass_!" she cried, getting the attention of the secretary, who looked down her nose (scheduled for slight adjustment at the Women's Cosmetic Surgery Centre this Friday) at my incredibly pissed off sister, who probably felt like her rebellion was going totally unnoticed.

"Seifer's ass? Megan!" I yelled. I felt sick just thinking about it. I was going to totally kill that guy. With fire, if it made Megan happier.

"Come on, Roxas, I had to practice on _someone_, and he wouldn't have it anywhere else –"

"When was this?" I demanded. "_Where_ was this?"

The new guy was watching it all with a small smile on his lips, and I admit that parts of it must have looked like a soap opera.

"About two weeks ago, in the guy's bathroom."

"On school property!" Vexen exclaimed, determined to get Megan nailed for _something_. "And in a bathroom that was off-limits to her anyway!"

Megan fixed her brown eyes on my blue ones. "Seifer told me that he'd help me with the fire thing, as well. I _had_ to, little bro."

I wasn't any less angry when I heard that and she knew it. Seifer was even more of a dick in my eyes now, knowing that he had pulled one of Megan's most responsive strings – _the fire thing_.

"Megan, just go to Marluxia's office before I get bored of this conversation and remove you from my school." With a healthy glare at Vexen, then the new kid, she stormed out, obviously pissed. Not as pissed as me though, for a change. We were talking about Seifer when we got home and she knew it.

After I'd lectured her about trying to kill newbies.

And lectured the newbie about calling me "Roxie".

God, I was practically collecting things to nag people about.

xxx

...*tries to hide behind bed in order to not get killed* I know, it's awful. And I might need to change the rating later on. Still, if you feel like reviewing or anything...

Oh, and just so you know, this fanfic is gonna be packed with references. I don't _think_ there are any in this chapter, but if you spot one, now or later on, and you mention it in the reviews, I will... erm... do something. Give you an internet hug, maybe. And please... don't kill me.


	2. Chapter 2

****Warning******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

I just want to thank the people who reviewed/alerted/favourited, because in all honesty, I wasn't expecting anybody at all to bother reading this and I would've been really quite flattered if someone had taken time out of their busy day in order to flame me. Oh, and I also wanted to point out that yes, Megan is an original character, and no, she is not based on me. I'm not nearly as cool as she is. *sigh*

As usual I do not own the characters and am too tired to think of a witty disclaimer. Thank you and enjoy.

**Megan**

I settled onto the pink sofa in Marly's office. Marly was a really lovely guy, if you didn't object to flowers or the colour pink. I hated both, but I was willing to put that aside for Marly.

"So, my dear Megan," he began, pouring me some tea. He made the best tea; he put rosehip oil in it, I think, or something like that. "I hear you've become a tattoo artist?"

"Well, I found this thing online about how to do homemade tattoos. I have this whole plan for a tattoo up my right upper arm, but I wanted to practice first. I wanted to just do a tiny tiny love heart somewhere inconspicuous on Naminé, but she point blank refused. Seifer overheard –"

"Ah. Seifer. I've heard a lot about you from him."

I frowned. Seifer went to see Marly? When? Why? ...Not that I cared, of course.

"Anyway, he heard, and he said I could practice on him. I was desperate so I said okay – against my and Naminé's better judgement, I might add – and he told me to meet him in the guy's bathroom." I sipped my tea and smiled into the cup. It was lovely, as always. "I met him, and he told me what tattoo he wanted, and where."

"And it was a skull, on his derrière." Marluxia was always well-informed about these things. Maybe Seifer had told him?

"Yeah. I was very ready to chicken out then, but he said he'd help with the practical side of my fire research, and I couldn't resist. It turned out brilliantly and he thought so too, and he said that if I wanted to, I could probably practice on some of his friends. So I did, and before I knew it I had given maybe fifteen people tattoos? All behind Naminé's back, except Seifer. And then Vexen walked into the Chem lab and overheard me bragging about how well someone's tattoo had turned out and the shit hit the fan."

Marluxia nodded thoughtfully, drinking his own tea slowly. "So really, if you didn't love fire so much, none of this would have arisen?"

I scowled slightly. "Maybe, I guess," I admitted. Marly smiled faintly at me, setting down his cup.

"I think the new kid is a Fire Whisperer," I burst out, then bit my lip. "Erm..."

"The redhead in your younger brother's class?" Marly asked. I nodded, swallowing hard. I didn't want Marluxia to shoot me down. I wanted him to believe in me. "What makes you say that?"

Well, the answer could have been worse, I guess. I sighed. "I don't know... there's just something about him... and when I grabbed his shirt to kill him – for calling me Meggy – he felt super warm, and his eyes glitter like they've got fire _inside_ them..."

"And you're sure you're not just smitten?" Marly suggested slyly, a teasing smile on his face. I squeaked slightly at the thought.

"Smitten? With him? No way. He's more Roxas's type." Apart from the fact that Roxas may or may not be straight. "Anyway... do you believe me?"

Marly sighed and shook his head slightly. "You really do believe this fire thing, don't you?" he said, almost sadly. "Well, I have to say, you've got so much conviction... and you've certainly done the research... hm. In all the time I've known you, Megan, nothing you've said has ever made me worry for your mental health – although don't repeat that, or we wouldn't see each other nearly so often. I don't think you're crazy, that's for sure... but Fire Whisperers? The jury's still out on it, I guess."

I sighed. That was a little progress, I suppose. I really looked up to Marly with his mother hen complex and his green thumb. Although the crush on Vexen was not something I admired.

"Marly," I said slowly, "what if I tried to show you from my point of view? I've come so close to it before. Can I show you?"

Marluxia frowned slightly and tilted his head. "You're missing Chemistry now, right? Okay, then. Anything to keep you away from those Bunsen burners."

I smiled without meaning to, and motioned for Marly to join me on the pink sofa. He left his own favourite chair and sat next to me, taking his teacup with him.

"Okay, now close your eyes..." He closed his eyes. "Take a deep breath..." He took a deep breath. "Okay..."

**Demyx**

I looked around the jam-packed canteen (hahaha... jam-packed, and you eat food there... no? Okay...), trying to spot someone I knew, or better, someone I liked. I'd heard something about Megan being yelled at by Dr Vexen and I think today was the day Roxas had to show the new kid around, so I decided to look for people in my own grade.

Larxene was sitting all alone on her table. I felt bad for her, I mean, just because she was really aggressive, didn't mean she couldn't have friends, right? After all, Larxene on a bad day was about level with Megan on a good one, and Megan had me, Roxas, Naminé, Marluxia...

"Get the fuck off my table, you irritating freak." My legs had made the decision to sit at Larxene's table before my mind could intervene, and now the light blonde was scowling up at me, looking like my younger sister but with less feeling.

"I just figured you could use some company, but if you really want me to leave –"

"I do." I didn't take it to heart – if you picked the wrong day to sit at Megan's table you were lucky if the fork ended up in your nose. I smiled at her and stepped away, waving. I decided to make it my mission to befriend her – after, of course, I had won the affections of Zexion.

"Demyx! Hey, Demyx!" Roxas was waving at me from the other side of the room. His blonde hair was lighter than mine and stuck up in soft spikes. I wriggled my way through the crowd and sat down next to him, noticing the scarlet-haired kid opposite us. That must be the new kid.

"Erm, this is my older brother Demyx." Roxas looked at my scarf. Why did everyone hate it so much? It brought out my eyes – Marluxia had even told me so.

"I'm Axel. Got it memorized?" Over the table we shook hands, then Roxas turned to me.

"Dem, I wanted to talk to you about Megan. She's been, um, hanging around with Seifer again." Roxas looked sort of uneasy which was never a good sign. He cleared his throat. That was an even _worse _sign.

"He wants to tell you that she gave him a tattoo on his ass, but he's too freaked out by it," Axel explained, and there was a thump from under the table that suggested someone had just been kicked.

"Axel!" Roxas put his elbows onto the table and covered his face with his hands. "Dem, you know what happened last time. I really think we should step in."

I swallowed. You don't step in when it's _Megan_, that would be suicide! Then again, I did know what happened last time, and it had been ugly. I really hated violence – well, _someone_ in our family had to. Megan knew Marluxia's office like the back of her hand and Roxas smashed things like nobody's business when he was pissed – a few months ago there had been an incident with a computer, although that had been kept relatively hushed up since Roxas wasn't supposed to be where he was then anyway.

"I don't know, Roxas, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"Hey Roxie –" This Axel kid was so doomed – "can I have some of that sliced apple?"

"Don't fucking call me fucking Roxie!" he snapped, and I began to edge away in case a fight broke out. I could normally get away with "Meg" or "Rox" maybe one or twice within a conversation, although sometimes Megan would thump me for that. But you just don't call him "Roxie". He hates it.

"So I can't call you Roxie –" He drew out the name a fair bit, making Roxas clench his jaw "– I can't call your sister Meggy... could I call your brother Demy?"

I looked this Axel kid up and down. He looked like a real poser – face tattoos screamed out "attention whore", for a start – and then I considered what he'd said. "If you must, but I prefer Demyx or Dem."

"Oh, God." Roxas's face was a picture of horror to the point where I wondered whether someone had died. I tried to look where his gaze was pointed but there were so many people in here that it was near impossible.

"What's up, Roxie?" Axel smirked, earning himself another kick. He barely flinched, which was surprising, since I knew from experience that Roxas's kicks are very, very painful.

"Just this one time, I hope she doesn't sit with us," Roxas breathed, and I realised Megan was heading our way, deep in conversation with Marluxia. His pink hair fluttered around his effeminate little face as he talked and for a moment I wondered why Dr Vexen didn't like him back. Then I mentally shook myself.

"Why not, Roxas?" I asked, looking back at my brother, who seemed a shade paler.

"Because she's with _him_ and I hate him!" he hissed, fidgeting a little.

"Who, Marly? I love Marly, he was so nice when I got called in to talk about Megan!" Roxas just shook his head at me in frustration. Megan was tugging Marly over to our table by the sleeve of his jacket.

"Hi, Roxas, hi Dem." She ignored the redhead and sat Marly down next to him, opposite me, and then sat down on Marluxia's other side. "What're you two up to?"

"Discussing your newfound friendship with Seifer, actually," Roxas said acidly. Megan glared at him and then at me, resenting us both for talking behind her back, even though I'd barely said anything. Oh, no, I didn't want any conflict, especially not conflict with Megan. She was the best fighter in school, and even with that aside, she was my little sister and I hated fighting with her.

"Demyx, I just can't stop loving that scarf," Marluxia told me, and I felt myself blush a little. He was such a sweetie, how could Roxas not love him? Megan glanced at him, a little annoyed, before turning to Roxas.

"I just gave him a tattoo, Roxas. Do you really expect me to dedicate my life to avoiding him? When he's in most of my classes? And he makes a point of being hard to ignore? Roxas, it was easier to just give him the tattoo and –"

"And then he'd help you with the fire thing?" I was taken aback by this – was Megan's obsession with fire common knowledge, then? Huh, who knew? "Megan, you need to drop the whole fire thing, it's starting to freak me out. Marluxia agrees with me, don't you, Marluxia?"

Roxas was clearly desperate if he was asking Marluxia for help. Most of the time Roxas just let his older sister's fixation slide, but if it was drawing her back to Seifer then I could see why he was trying to help her out.

Marly and Megan exchanged awkward glances that suggested she had just spent hours winning Marly over. "Actually, Roxas, Megan has been talking to me and –"

"Oh, for God's sake! Some fricking counsellor you are! Axel, _you_ agree that it's worrying, right?"

Axel considered this for a moment or two, holding his chin in one hand and raising an eyebrow thoughtfully. "Well, aside from the fact that I'm not entirely sure how far her obsession with fire extends, I have to say, Roxas, at least she's got something that she really likes. Anyway, I doubt she cares much for my opinion." Megan muttered something a lot like "Damn right" and I gave her a reproachful look.. For once she didn't glare back; in fact, she even looked a little apologetic.

"Well – well, Demyx thinks that it's odd. _Right_, Dem?" He elbowed me forcefully in the ribs but if I had to choose between that and the wrath of Megan I would take Roxas's elbow any day.

"There are worse things Meg could be obsessed with." Megan was so pleased that she let the "Meg" slide, smiling a little at me, looking all brown-eyed grateful. When she wasn't pummelling me, she was actually a little sweetie.

"Like what?" Roxas exploded. A few people were looking over at us. "She _talks _to _fire_, Demyx! She spends days at a time shut up in her room and when she leaves then she has matchsticks stuck in her hair and she smells of burnt fabric!"

"I can't actually talk to the fire yet, Roxas," Megan pointed out, and Marly smirked a little. I admit I did too, but I tried to hide it with my hand.

"She could have worse fixations," I insisted. "Like... like Seifer. She could be obsessed with him."

Marly muttered something that none of us caught and Megan gave me a weird look. Not an I'm-going-to-murder-you look, just a weird one, like she was wondering why I had just said that. Both she and Seifer _should_ have been in my grade, but they'd been held back a year – Seifer for failing miserably in his exams and Megan because she needed to catch up the work she'd missed when she'd been suspended those three times, and the two weeks she was in hospital with – you guessed it – third degree burns.

"That's not the _point_, Demyx!" The bell rang and I sprang to my feet, eager to get away from this not-so-friendly conversation. "We're still gonna have to talk about this when we get home!" Roxas called after me. I walked backwards a few steps to wave at Megan and Marluxia and Axel (who didn't seem _too_ bad; he was fond of winding Roxas up, but Megan was like that sometimes too) and crashed straight into a certain somebody.

Zexion.

I felt my legs turn to jelly right there and I started stammering "I-I'm sorry, I didn't – didn't mean to –" but he smiled softly at me and I stopped, completely frozen.

"It's fine. Demyx, right?" He was _smiling at me_. And _talking to me_. He very rarely did that to anyone; more often than not he was busy reading. But he was doing it to _me_.

"Yeah," I squeaked, then coughed. "Erm... you're Zexion, right?"

Megan gave me the thumbs up from behind him and I blushed. Obviously I had done something right.

"Yeah. Anyway, I've gotta go – don't want to keep Xigbar waiting. See you around."

I just nodded and watched him walk away, my heart frozen in my chest. If I died on this spot right here then everything would be fine.

Megan clapped a hand onto my shoulder. "Congratulations, Dem, you actually came across as a mentally stable non-stalker then." I blinked slowly.

"He... talked to me..." How in David Bowie's name was I meant to go to double Spanish now? Zexion had just _talked_ to me. And he even _smiled_.

"Yes, he did, and you handled it very well," she said warmly, guiding me out of the cafeteria by the arm. "Now, we both have lessons on the same corridor, so you just keep breathing and I'll get you to Spanish."

**Roxas**

"Your sister seems... interesting," Axel told me. Since our school was enormous, and we were walking very slowly, we'd only covered about half so far. Monday was my worst day as far as timetables were concerned, so I had no problem with this.

"Yeah, well. Like I said earlier, we're not blood relatives, but it feels like it." I looked up at the old clock tower, about a mile and a half away from school. I had never been up there, but I had always planned to, one day. "She's alright once you get past the violence and the slight pyromania. In fact, sometimes she can be really really nice. Like once I fell asleep at my desk and woke up in bed with a chocolate bar next to me. Dad wouldn't do something like that and Demyx said he didn't, and God, you should see Dem trying to lie, it's priceless." I thought for a moment. "Demyx is awesome as well."

"You two look as if you could be brothers," Axel said, and I smiled faintly. Where had I heard that before? Oh, that's right, everywhere. "So I'm guessing you learnt to kick that hard from your sister?"

"Yep, and I learnt how to pick an outfit from Dem. I also know how to do eyeliner. Oh, that's another library." I pointed half-heartedly to the library. It was the smallest one in school and the one couples usually chose to make out in. "Yeah, Demyx is more of a girl than Megan by a long shot, but it's fine. Usually it's me and Megan fighting or me and Dem fighting – Megan and Demyx get along pretty well considering Demyx is deathly afraid of fire and hates violence of any kind."

Axel nodded slowly. "And your Dad – all you've said about him so far is that he's a dick."

"He is," I told him, nodding solemnly. Axel grinned and I felt my stomach slip another notch. It was going to fall out in a minute if it kept that up. "He called me a fag the other day. God knows what'll happen if Demyx comes out to him."

"You mean he's not out of the closet? He seemed really... I don't know... comfortable with himself, with that scarf, you know. And when he walked into that Zexion kid, they were both totally having a moment. How can your dad think he's straight?"

I looked at the redhead walking beside me and thought for a moment. He didn't seem all that bad, apart from occasionally calling me Roxie. I had already bitten his ear off with regards to Megan, because putting her in an absolutely terrible mood today wasn't going to help me out at all tonight, when I cornered her about Seifer and her little fire problem, as Marluxia so affectionately put it.

"Well, Dad is an enormous homophobe, so I guess he's just convinced himself that all three of his children are nice, pleasant, heterosexual individuals who will grow up to make lots of money and then buy him expensive birthday presents." Ha. After the row he and Megan had had last week I would be surprised if he ever received so much as a bent paperclip from her. Megan held grudges.

"Well, the bruises you've given me so far have convinced me that you're not nice or pleasant, but are you hetero?" Axel asked, smirking in the corner of my eye. I swung for him, but the clever bastard was learning already, and moved to the left. Unfortunately the world had neglected to tell him that if you dodged the first punch, the second would hit you harder. He rubbed his arm and pouted but I didn't relent.

"Demyx is the gay one, not me, and I can be perfectly nice and pleasant when I want to," I told him, speeding up a little. Axel stayed at his pace, and after a minute or two I dropped back to carry on talking to him.

"Just because Dem is gay, doesn't mean you can't be too," Axel said, completely disregarding the second half of what I had said. I scowled at him and he smiled brightly back, enjoying my anger.

"And you?" I asked coldly. "Actually, you'll probably die a virgin, so it doesn't matter."

"I'm bi," he said simply. "And I've had more action in the last month than you'll probably ever have in your life."

"Spin The Bottle and Strip Poker don't count as "action", Axel," I said. He laughed.

"Aww, come on, Roxie, don't shoot me down like that." Another solid thump to the left arm. "So I know Megan was held back a year, but what for?"

"She has to catch up, she missed about a third of last year because she got suspended three times for various acts of violence and then she was in hospital for a fortnight with some serious burns." I looked down at the floor. "Anyway... um... oh, that's Xigbar's classroom, you might wanna –"

I didn't get to say "brace yourself" before the door flew open and Axel was drenched by a water cannon. Xigbar turned back to his students and yelled "New kid! Is that twenty points or thirty?"

"It's twenty," came a quiet voice to Xigbar's left. Demyx's obsession, Zexion, was reading an incredibly heavy-looking book whose cover was dripping wet.

"No it's not, Zexion, it's thirty!" Yuffie yelled, doing a James Bond-style roll under a desk before blasting my left leg with a handheld water gun. "Yes, another fifteen for Xigbar's team!"

"Yuffie, it's twenty for a new kid," Zexion said, turning his page with all the composure in the world. Xigbar walked further into the classroom and the door swung shut behind him, leaving Axel stunned. For a moment the only sound in the hallway was our clothes dripping onto the floor. Then –

"Roxas, where's my timetable, I need to know if I have any lessons with that guy," Axel gasped, beginning to rummage through his pockets. When he had no luck he tried mine. I swatted him away and looked through my own damn pockets, finding the crumpled timetable and surrendering it to him. "YES! I'm in his English class!"

"Me too. Wait – you mean the one with double English on a Tuesday morning?" He nodded. "Oh, brilliant, you're in _my_ class." I was only half-joking – this guy was pretty goddamn annoying. "We've only ever had one water fight, but there are cookies and hot chocolate every lesson," I informed him. "But don't get too excited, the bad teachers more than make up for Xigbar."

Axel shook his head impatiently. "So I have a double with him first thing tomorrow? And you're bringing your cute self? _Score_!" I was going to thump him but changed my mind, and we continued our extremely slow tour of the school.

xxx

So... anybody bother reading it? And was it actually any good? I might not be able to update very often because my mother keeps confiscating my laptop (which is fair enough, really, since last night I was up til three in the morning watching random Kingdom Hearts videos) but I'll do my best. Have fun hating this fanfic... god knows it deserves it.


	3. Chapter 3

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

I stood at my locker at the end of the day, my head spinning slightly. That Axel kid _was_ a Fire Whisperer, I knew he was. I could tell. I was going to have to help his and Roxas's friendship along a bit, so that I could observe him more. I really needed to know if –

"Hey, Megan." I froze and swore in my head. The hallway was more or less empty; if I wasn't fast then the school bus would leave without me and I'd have to walk home, getting in late and obliterating myself from Dem and Roxas's good books. But of course, you can't always get what you want, can you?

"Hi, Seifer," I said through gritted teeth, not turning towards him. I pulled an enormous textbook from my locker and Seifer's hand shot out, helping me to keep it steady.

"Did you get in loads of shit for the tattoo thing?" he asked me softly as I jerked the book out of his hands. I sighed.

"Not really, just got sent to see Marluxia. Listen, I need to get to the bus, so –"

"It's gone, Megan." He held up my wrist, tapping the glass of my watch. It was a full eleven minutes since the bell had rung – when did that happen? "Don't look like that; I'll drive you home."

I felt incredibly unsettled whilst talking to Seifer at the best of times, and I figured that breaking the speed limit in a car with highly questionable seatbelts wasn't going to help that much. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Seifer."

He leaned closer, bringing up a hand to stroke my face, still not relinquishing his hold on my left wrist from showing me the time. "C'mon, Megan, I want to talk to you."

I suddenly remembered that I hate people touching me and pushed him away. "Seifer, really, I think I'd be better off –"

"I have matches in the car." I froze again and he took the opportunity to place a hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to pay me any attention. You can play with some fire and I'll get you home safe."

I scowled and brushed his hand away. He didn't look too disappointed; I think by that point, he knew he was pushing his luck. "And if I don't want that?"

"Then fair enough, I guess, but please let me drive you. Remember that girl who got stabbed? Kairi or something?"

I swallowed. We had all heard about the stabbing in July. Kairi was more or less okay now, but the scar was still there and she was seriously twitchy nowadays.

"Seifer, I don't want –"

"_I_ don't want you in the hospital again. Third degree burns are one thing, death is another. Let me just get you home safely, and I promise I won't try anything. Come on, Megan, please?"

I narrowed my eyes. He had defeated me but if he knew that I'd be done for. He smiled briefly, then took hold of my hand and lead me to his car, opening the door for me like a right little gentleman.

I turned on the stereo, trying to distract myself from the car, which still smelt like Seifer, Lynx and chocolate and various other things, and looked exactly how I'd last seen it, except that the chip on the windscreen had been repaired.

I stared at my own feet as Seifer turned his key and car started vibrating. Was this...

"Seifer, is this _my_ CD?" I asked, looking out the window as we started edging forwards. Any minute now we'd be out of the car park and the car's speed would be multiplied by ten, or possibly twenty.

"Well, you never came back for it and –"

"I came back for everything, Seifer. You gave me back all the stuff I left in your house and you _said_ you'd given back everything I'd left in the car as well. Why the Hell do you still have this? You don't even like half the artists on here."

He shrugged. "Would you rather I had thrown it away? A CD with the likes of Falling In Reverse and Deaf Havana on it; would you have wanted that thrown away?"

I squeaked a little at the thought. I'm passionate when it comes to music, and Seifer knew it. "No... but why's it in the stereo? Are you telling me that you listen to it?"

He shrugged again, and then turned out of the car park, accelerating up the hill. Oh, joy. "Sometimes, if there's nothing on the radio."

I sighed and looked out of the window. "Hey, do you remember that time you let me drive?"

"Yeah, and I've been trying to forget about it ever since," he quipped, and I laughed in spite of myself.

"Hey, the car wasn't damaged, we're both still alive – as far as I know – and we didn't even _see_ a pedestrian, let alone hit one." Seifer snorted as though this didn't make up for it in the slightest. He was probably right. Seifer was a show-off maniac driver, but at least he _could_ drive. Me? Not so much. "Anyway, you enjoyed it really."

"How could I not have enjoyed it? I was with you." I tried not to smirk. I wasn't going to fall for that and he probably knew it. "Oh God, remember when that guy pulled us over because he thought I was driving like a drunk person, and you told him he smelled of tequila?"

I giggled and nodded. "And then he gave you a ticket for police disrespect or something stupid," I reminisced. "That was so great."

Seifer put his foot down properly when we hit the longest, straightest road in Twilight Town; I think we were going at about 100mph, not even kidding. The speed limit was half of that.

I peeked at the speedometer. Okay, 90mph, but still, the law was lying in pieces behind us as Seifer turned sharply, putting a scary amount of strain on my frayed, tatty seatbelt. We were about two minutes from my house now in bus-driver-time, so Seifer would stop the car in about –

The brakes were slammed on so hard that the two of us shot forwards, Seifer smacking his head on the wheel. I giggled weakly and unclipped my seatbelt.

"Megan, don't laugh, it _hurt_," he whined, and I laughed a little more. "Kiss it better?"

"No, Seifer, I've got to get in the house," I said, opening my door. He whimpered, pointing feebly to his forehead and pouting. I sighed and, holding his head in place so he couldn't put the old move-at-the-last-minute thing, very lightly kissed the offending area. He smiled as I released his head and sat back into his seat, grinning at me. "See you around, I guess..." I said, getting out of the car and picking up my bag. Hopefully I had arrived before Roxas and Demyx and I could make up some bullshit story for them so they wouldn't lecture me about Seifer.

"See you around, _Meggy_," he said just as I shut the door of the car. I went to rip it open so I could thump him but he started driving straight away. When he got to the corner he waved at me and I flipped him off, deciding to viciously murder him first thing tomorrow morning.

If I survived tonight.

Roxas and Demyx were both waiting for me in the hallway, feet apart and arms folded, looking all challenging. I wasn't even going to be able to lie to them, Roxas especially. That kid had an in-built bullshit detector, I was sure of it.

I realised again how similar both of my adopted brothers were when I looked at their stony faces and matching body language – although Roxas probably had to coach Demyx on how to look threatening, since the kid didn't have an aggressive bone in his body.

I took a deep breath. "Look, I know you guys are –"

"Why weren't you on the bus tonight?" Roxas interrupted, looking cold and detached. I felt a little spark of pride as I realised he'd probably learnt at least a little bit of that look from me.

"I missed it, I was talking to a friend of mine." It was true, I guess, except that maybe Seifer wasn't technically my friend.

"So how did you get home?" Demyx's tone of voice surprised me. He sounded... well, he sounded almost like Roxas and me. There was still a little reluctance mixed in there somewhere, but it was worlds away from what I was used to.

"I got a lift from one of my mates." Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Which mate? Naminé is in Hollow Bastion. Who else's car would you have willingly got in? Marluxia's?" I remembered Roxas's thorough dislike of Marly and bore that in mind.

"No, actually, it was Seifer's." Roxas looked like his worst suspicions had been confirmed and suddenly Dem dropped his act and I could tell he didn't want to be here any more.

"Megan, that guy is nothing but bad news and you know it – which is why you like him so much, isn't it? Because he's a dick and for some reason girls like you have a thing for dicks."

"Hey!" I found myself on the offensive for the first time in this conversation. "Seifer drove me home because he wanted me to be safe. He's not that much of a dick, and he deserves a chance. He still has my favourite CD, you know that? I think he actually gives a shit, and I think that _you_ need to stop being so damn judgemental."

"I want to stop that slimeball from worming his way into your pants and then breaking your heart,so sue me! I'm you brother, I'm meant to look after you!" Dem was actually edging his way out of the room but Roxas hadn't noticed and I was far too fond of him to rat him out.

"No, you're the younger one so _I'm_ supposed to look after _you_! And do I stop you from making friends with complete dicks? No, I don't, otherwise you wouldn't have spent the day with that Axel guy!" I realised I had just inadvertently helped myself a little. I needed Axel to spend more time with Roxas, and making a point of how much he annoyed me was a surefire way to push the two of them together.

"You leave him out of this! Just because he called you Meggy –"

"I bet he calls you Roxie! How many times has he called you Roxie so far, Roxas? He winds people up on purpose, at least with Seifer it's an accident –"

"I'm home, kids!" said Dad, and I pushed past Demy, stomping up the stairs. "Erm, Roxas, is your sister PMSing again?"

**Demyx**

Deciding not to bother asking what PMSing was, I followed Megan up to her room and knocked softly on the door. "Megan? Can I come in?"

Megan just "hmph"ed, so I went in. Her bedroom had more mess on the floor than mine and Roxas's put together, all her clothes and books scattered everywhere like the ground was just another storage space, like a cupboard.

"Megan, I'm sorry. I don't mind you playing with fire so much, but Seifer isn't very nice and I want you to be careful. I'm not saying you should never hang out with him again because he's the spawn of the devil, I'm just saying that you shouldn't put all your eggs into one basket." I fought my way across her room and sat down next to her on the bed. She was leafing through all her reports on Fire Whisperers but she didn't look so interested; I think she was just avoiding looking at me.

"Demy, it scares me. I think I like him, but I know what a dick he is... do you think he actually likes me back, or do you think it's like Roxas said and he just wants to get in my pants?"

I wasn't used to dealing with girls (if you even counted Megan as a girl) partially because I was gay and partially because I wasn't good at randomly striking up conversations. My circle of friends was kind of... closed. So trying to talk to Megan about feelings and romance was worse than trying to talk to Dad about girls and body hair and infections "down there".

"I honestly don't know, Megan," I said, looking down at all the reports (well, for one, I'm not entirely sure what "getting into someone's pants" _is, _I think it has something to do with kissing). I took the sheet of paper on the top of the pile, one whose date was about three months ago.

_I'm beginning to wonder where it comes from. Not the fire – my need to find it. Why am I so obsessed? Was I meant to be a Fire Whisperer? Was I meant to be nothing at all? Maybe my curiosity is going to get me in trouble, but at this point I don't care._

_Recently I found some research that I technically shouldn't have been able to find – I had to hack the Hollow Bastion government's intranet to get a hold of it, so I haven't been out of my room in about two days. Demyx made me some soup yesterday and Roxas just yelled to tell me that I needed to come down for dinner tonight because he wasn't bringing any up. He would, if he thought I needed it, but I can cope. I think I might still have some toffee left from my birthday, actually, so I could have that._

_Anyway, the research. It started out as an experiment on Spontaneous Human Combustion (people dying because they just randomly burst into flames) which was probably against the law since it was, you know, a test to see whether or not something would kill someone. Basically the lead scientist – I forget his name, it was something foreign – had this theory that people caught fire because the particles in their bodies had too much energy and vibrated too fast, creating heat – thus making people catch fire. He wanted to see whether it was possible to do this __on purpose__ but obviously he couldn't legally encourage someone to set themselves on fire, so he –_

"Demyx, what if I never end up finding it?" Megan asked, pulling me out of my daze. Megan hacked into the Hollow Bastion government? Wasn't that illegal? "The fire, Demyx. Do you ever think I'll find it? Or do you think it'll end up being a total waste of time?"

"If other people spent a year researching something, I would consider that, but Megan, it's _you_. You won't stop until you find it, and then it'll all be worthwhile."

The door flew open and I knew without looking that it was Dad – Roxas was smart enough to at least knock first.

"Put something nice on, kids, we're going out for dinner!" Dad announced. I groaned internally but managed to keep a blank expression for Megan's sake. Things were bad enough between her and Dad without me adding to them.

And tonight they were probably going to get worse.

**Roxas**

The journey to the restaurant wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Megan just ignored Dad, and he ignored her, although that was kinda hard with the outfit she'd picked. Her shorts were really short, and she was wearing fishnets. Last time she'd put fishnets on, Dad told her she looked like a hooker. If it weren't for the fact that he was trying to maintain at least a little peace tonight, he would've had another go at her.

She didn't even know why we were going out for dinner, and I wasn't going to tell her. When she had stormed up the stairs, Demyx in her wake, Dad had started on at me about how families shouldn't have secrets and how I obviously knew what was wrong, so I made up some bullshit story about how it was the anniversary of the day her birth mother died and he swallowed it all. He asked me what he should do, having no clue about teenage girls himself, and I suggested going out for a meal with the family because it was the first thing that popped into my head, solely because that's what Axel was doing right then. So Dad decided that that was the best idea I'd ever had and interrupted what was probably an adorable heart-to-heart between Megan and Dem to tell them we were going out.

We parked in the car park and Demyx got out of the car first. I looked him up and down, realising that he and Megan had probably agreed to try and piss Dad off with their outfits. My sister looked like an EMO-hooker hybrid, like if Zexion had a baby with a prostitute, and Demyx looked... well, I don't normally do stereotypes, but he looked gay. He was wearing eyeshadow and his hair was in its trademark mullet-mohawk thing, but decorated with a little bit of _glitter_. His cheekbones were defined with just a little bronzer and his T-shirt was the one with the Cookie Monster on it. His dark blue skinny jeans were tucked into his black and pink trainers – yes, black with _neon pink_ laces and soles – and in all honesty, you could've guessed his orientation from across the room. Hell, you could've guessed from halfway across Twilight Town.

I was just in black trousers, a black T-shirt and a black jacket. I had considered a little eyeliner, thinking that Dad would be too distracted by Megan's abundance of the stuff to notice mine, but changed my mind at the last minute in case I stabbed myself.

We all waited to be seated. I noticed that Megan was wearing the shirt that Dad had confiscated from her last week. Knowing her she had stolen it out of... wherever he put confiscated things. It was pretty low-cut, black and supremely flattering, actually. It made her look even paler. Oh, and those heels had her towering over me and almost as tall as Dem (hair not included) which didn't boost my self-esteem a great deal. Axel had already made a few "funny" comments about my height today.

"Demyx, is that glitter in your hair?" Dad demanded. He already hated Dem's habit of taking far too long styling his hair into a sort-of mullet, so imagine his shock when he saw glitter in it too.

"Why? You want to borrow some?"

My jaw dropped and Megan giggled. Demyx _never_ backchatted like that. He was Dem.

"Now, Demyx..." Had we been at home Dad would have yelled until Demyx cried, then yelled some more. I noticed that someone (probably Megan) had drawn a flame on the back of Dem's left hand. It was pretty artistic, actually.

"Roxie! Oh, Roxieeee!" The voice from my left was an annoying one, and one I recognised. I fixed my best Megan-style scowl onto my face before turning around. "Wow, Roxie, are you stalking me or something?"

"How was I meant to know you'd be at this restaurant?" I demanded of Axel, and he shrugged.

"Maybe you've got psychic powers." He grinned at me and I felt a little weak at the knees. Wait, what? _Demyx was the gay one_. "My parents went to the bathroom and left me to hold their place in the line to get seated." He sighed dramatically and I laughed a little. "So now I'm just left with Roxie –" I growled slightly "– Demy..." Megan was looking at him now with an "I dare you" face "and _Meggy_."

She took two short steps forwards and I honestly thought she would have killed him right there in the restaurant if Dad hadn't said "Megan! I know how difficult you're finding... things, but you can't kill Roxas's friends!" I realised that Dad still thought it was Megan's mother's death anniversary or something and Megan didn't have a clue.

She scowled at Axel once more before turning to Demyx and starting to talk to him about Zexion. I rolled my eyes at the two of them and then looked back at Axel, who was in a white T-shirt, dark blue denim jacket and black jeans. He looked really good.

I swallowed and shook my head very slightly. I was straight – Dem was the gay one. "Demyx and Megan seem to be winding Dad up on purpose," I said, motioning to my EMO-hooker sister and super-gay brother. Axel looked them both up and down.

"Megan looks _very_ tall in those heels and Demyx's cheekbones are really showing up," he commented. "And I think that might be glitter in Demy's mullet thing."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure and I'm not overly concerned. I'm just hoping that things don't blow up over dinner. In front of everyone. Including, apparently, you and your family."

The place was jam-packed so even if I had been seized by the urge to eat near Axel and meet his parents, I couldn't have. My family would be lucky if we got a table together.

"This place has candles on the table," Axel observed, looking around, a slight crease between his red eyebrows. I wondered if the curtains matched the – no, no! I was totally not thinking that! Oh my _God_!

"Erm... and...?" I asked, hoping I wasn't blushing. Why were candles so important?

"_And _won't your sister try and talk to them?" Axel wasn't even taking the piss – he looked slightly worried, in fact, which I admired, even as my heart stopped at the realisation. Dad didn't know much about Megan's little fire problem – he only knew that she had a fondness for burning things, which he put down to her starsign or something. He had once received a call from Marluxia to discuss Megan's violence and he'd hung up halfway through because "the guy had a really gay voice."

"Oh. Right. Shit. Erm... I'll try and distract her for a bit, but it might not work too brilliantly... the best I can do is tell you to be on your toes in case Dad or Megan start throwing stuff." Axel nodded and then looked over my shoulder like he'd spotted someone. "Oh, look, there are my parents!"

Axel's parents were... it has to be said... cool. They both wore blue jeans, his Dad's baggy and his Mom's slightly flared at the bottom. The taller of the two, his Mom, bore tattoos all over her arms and what I could see of her neck. (Megan would be ecstatic.) His Dad was wearing a leather jacket over a plain white T-shirt and had shades clipped to the front.

"Hey, Axel, thanks for holding our place in line." His mother placed a kiss on Axel's cheek before turning to see me. "Are you Roxas?" I nodded. "Ooh, Axel's told us all about you."

Megan had snuck over, Demyx a step behind her, to admire Axel's mom's tattoos. Axel was going painfully pink after his mother's last sentence as his dad looked me up and down like he was judging me.

"You seem like a nice kid," he decided. "Is that your sister staring at my wife?"

Axel's mother turned to see Megan, who was totally unabashed. Megan is always unabashed. "Oh! Oh, hello, dear, are you Megan?" Megan nodded. "We've heard a little about you too." Megan shot me a grin that suggested she was the only straight one in the family and I scowled at her. "I must say, you have absolutely lovely hair."

People didn't usually comment on Megan's hair. They were normally too busy staring at Dem's.

"Oh, thank you. I couldn't help but notice your tattoos, I'm thinking of getting a few myself when I'm old enough, do they hurt much?" The two girls started bonding over needles, of all things, and I noticed Demyx had engaged Axel's dad in conversation about David Bowie or something like that. My own dad was flirting with a nearby waitress after finding out that it would be at least fifteen minutes before we could be seated, leaving just me and Axel.

"Looks like our families are getting along swimmingly. It was a great idea to stalk me, Roxie – you should do it more often."

I punched him hard and he yelped, but nobody paid him much attention. After a bit of banter about Axel's excessive denim and my not-so-excessive height, we decided to eavesdrop on people.

We started with Dem and Axel's dad.

"So I had my first crush when I was seven or eight, I think, and that was a guy called Pence..." Pence was one of my friends, although if Dem had been seven, we wouldn't have known each other back then. "I didn't realise it was gay, as such..."

"Well, no, it was just natural," Axel's dad replied understandingly. He had Axel's red hair but his eyes were a muted sort of grey. "It wasn't like you met someone one day and fell in love, and you had a major freak out like "Oh shit! Maybe I'm gay!" because that would have been sort of unsettling for you."

I decided that I thoroughly liked Axel's dad and motioned to listen in on my sister's conversation instead.

"...Luckily I never had that problem, I was the youngest of four girls so I knew most things ahead of time... but wow, that must have been embarrassing," Axel's mom was saying.

"Tell me about it. Although I guess if I ever have a daughter then that'll make her laugh. Oh, god, one time Demyx came into my room and asked me what the tampons _were_." The two of them started laughing. "No, but it was like, "Megan, what are these for? I found them in the bathroom and I figured that they were yours since the box is pink, but I was really curious so I opened them, and they look sorta like foam darts for one of toy gun things. You aren't hiding a toy gun in your room, are you?" And his voice had just broken so he sounded like King Kong or something..." Axel's mom rested her head on Megan's shoulder as the two of them shook with giggles. I remembered when I had found some of Megan's tampons in the bathroom. My first reaction had actually been "Ew! What the Hell does Dad need tampons for?" because I knew they weren't mine and I knew they weren't Dem's. Then it dawned on me that Megan had been super mood-swingy over the past few days and she was probably... ugh.

"Roxie," I hit him, "are you going to Seifer's party next weekend?"

"I wasn't invited," I said, wondering briefly whether Megan was, and whether she'd go.

"Neither was I, that's not gonna stop me from turning up," he grinned, and I rolled my eyes. "You should go, I heard there'll be alcohol and females and males and everything."

"Gatecrashing one of Seifer's parties is not a good idea, Axel. I only tried it once – got the shit beaten out of me by one of his minions." I put my hands into my pockets. "Anyway, I think next weekend it's my turn to let Megan experiment on me. Demyx and I alternate because it gets kind of tiring after a while."

"Well, I bet Megan's been invited." Was this kid some kind of mind reader? "If she's at the party she won't be experimenting on anyone anyway, right?"

Actually, the way Megan had been looking at Axel earlier made me think that she'd be happy to experiment on him – sometimes Megan just decided that people were really good test subjects. She had done it with Naminé – that's why they were so close now.

"Roxas! You and your boyfriend have to part ways now, we're actually getting seated!" Megan grabbed my arm and pulled me away, wiggling her fingers at Axel, who mouthed something quite similar to "Meggy" at her.

Xxx

I apologise profusely. Seifer is a dick but not in the way that I want him to be, and some of the parts of the restaurant scene felt really awkward when I was writing them. Still, I suppose it could always be worse...

Anyway, happy XigDem Day (9th of the 2nd) and if you want to review then I would be delighted, even if it's only to tell me to stop writing fanfiction and get on with my life.


	4. Chapter 4

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

As we tucked into our food I noticed just how _big_ Meg's eyes looked with all the eyeliner. She was staring hard at an unlit candle on the table, probably trying to light it with her mind. At least she was being fairly discreet – the last thing I wanted was _another_ row. Axel's family was all the way on the other side of the restaurant, but Axel kept looking over at us. I think he was crushing on Roxas. I could see where he was coming from, a little. The kid had blue, sparkling eyes and skin that looked like God was using Photoshop. He was more cute than attractive, but then again, I was his big brother.

"I can't believe that Axel's Dad likes David Bowie as much as I do," I said, unable to contain myself. I was so glad that Roxas had been forced to show Axel around all day.

"Axel's mom gave me her cell phone number in case I wanted to talk to her about girly stuff," Megan smiled, still not moving her gaze from the candle. Whether or not she wanted to admit it, she was missing a mother figure, and she needed one. (Come to think of it, maybe that's why she was so fond of Marluxia.) She and Roxas had their backs to the table Axel sat at, meaning he was free to eyeball the back of my brother's head without being noticed –

"Megan, that Axel kid keeps looking over at you. What's going on?" Dad only had to speak two sentences and Megan went pink, taking a sip of her Diet Coke before replying.

"Not much, Dad. I have a crush on a guy in my grade and I think I know who Axel likes, and it ain't me." She returned to staring at the candle but Dad wasn't through just yet.

"So who's the guy in your grade?" He looked at me and Roxas. "Do either of your brothers know?"

"Um... it's..." Roxas looked at her as if confirming something and she swallowed. "It's Seifer."

"Is he the one whose father won the lottery last April?" We all nodded, and Dad looked satisfied. "He's a nice boy."

I realised that Megan had just said the first name that came to her in order to throw Dad off the scent. Roxas smirked at his salad and I looked down at my own pasta. There was far more food than I wanted. Normally I was a massive eater, but today's encounter with Zexion, as well as growing unease about Megan hacking Hollow Bastion's government and staring at a candle, filled my stomach with butterflies, leaving little room for rich tomato sauce and smooth, delicious pasta. It was suddenly just a bowlful of carbohydrates that I really didn't want.

"Roxas? Is there a girl you like at the moment?" Roxas shook his head, looking uncomfortable.

"Even if there was, he wouldn't tell you in front of me, he knows that I'd tease him something rotten." Megan was covering for Roxas, probably trying to convince Dad that he was straight.

"Demyx? What about you?"

"There is _someone_..." I said carefully. Roxas gave me a look across the table, one you might give your brother if you were worried he might tell his homophobic dad about his crush on a guy called Zexion. "She never pays me much attention, though, and I think she likes someone else."

Unseen by Dad, Roxas nodded approvingly at my lie. I'm a terrible liar but apparently this time I was going to get away with it.

"Can I trust you three long enough to dash to the bathroom?" Dad asked, and we nodded. He got up and left, leaving us in silence.

"I DID IT!" The shrill exclamation turned a few heads but not too many. Roxas hissed at Megan to shut up but she was pointing frantically at the candle on the table. "I did it, Roxas! I did that!"

I stared, disbelieving, at what used to be a dysfunctional, useless stick of wax. Atop it a small, orange-yellow flame danced merrily, licking the air around it as if it were enjoying the taste but not really hungry.

"Megan..." Roxas said weakly, shaking off the hand she'd planted on his arm. "Calm down, Megan, Dad's on his way back."

I looked across the restaurant. Axel had an evil little grin on his face, one that I didn't like the look of, especially since it was directed at my younger brother.

Dad arrived back at the table. "Erm, was that candle lit a minute ago?" There was a blank silence. "Megan, hand them over."

"What? I haven't got anything!" Dad raised an eyebrow. "I haven't, really! No matches, no lighters, nothing! Swear on my mother's grave!"

Dad's face suddenly changed and he covered Megan's white hand with his own fairly brownish one. "Okay, Megan. Try and enjoy your food, okay, sweetheart?"

What was going on? Megan clearly didn't know any more than I did, but Roxas was squirming in his seat and gulping down salad like nobody's business.

"Okay..." She went back to her food, occasionally smirking at the candle like it had just kissed her. Her secret pride was obvious to everyone except Dad, who had engaged Roxas in a discussion about football or chicken nuggets or something. Really, I hadn't a clue. I didn't follow sport or dead poultry. (Although Megan and Roxas told me that the chicken nuggets _we_ bought grew on trees in, like, Agrabah or somewhere, because I refused to eat anything that had been cute when it was alive.)

"Megan..." I said, looking over at Axel uneasily, "do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched?"

"I do, actually," she said. Somehow she managed to put an inflexion on it that sounded like "Axel-ly". "In fact, sometimes I even feel like the person sitting to my right is being watched, rather than myself. Do you ever get that?"

"Not quite, but occasionally it seems to me like the person sat diagonally across from me is. It's quite alarming, don't you think?"

"Most definitely." Roxas looked over his shoulder and caught Axel's gaze. Mission accomplished. "And sometimes there's a weird moment when I feel like the person sitting to my right has made _contact_ with whatever is looking at them."

"It's almost... romantic..." I said, as Roxas carried on looking at Axel. Dad was reading a text as Megan and I wound our brother up in the sweetest way possible. "And I would fully support anything that might arise after that."

Megan chuckled and looked back up at the candle. "Well, I've finished my food. Hey, Roxas, what're you looking at?"

Roxas turned around, Axel grinning and returning to his food, and thumped Megan lightly. "You full well know, you and Demyx had a whole commentary going on about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did we spoil the moment?" Meg winked at me across the table. "We certainly didn't mean to..."

"Oh, are you three finished as well?" Dad asked, looking up from his phone, slightly dazed. He had obviously missed everything we'd just said. "That's great, I'll just get the bill and –"

"Can't we have dessert?" Roxas pleaded. Dad shook his head.

"Please, Dad, I could use something to perk me up today," Megan added. Well, if I had come home in Seifer's death trap of a car, I would be a little unsettled too. Dad suddenly looked all uncomfortable and nodded, stammering out an agreement about cheering someone up. It was like he was walking on eggshells around my little sister but I couldn't think why. She clearly couldn't either, and we both looked questioningly at Roxas, but got ignored as he turned to look at Axel again. Aawww.

**Megan**

I was still buzzing a few hours later, alone in my bedroom, remembering how the candle had just suddenly _lit_, and it was because of me.

I was texting Axel's mom about nail polish. The all-too-familiar sounds of David Bowie were coming from Demyx's room, but I really didn't have the energy to tell him to knock it off. Instead I just put one of my CDs on, louder than his, louder than most sane people would play music. Knowing Demyx he wouldn't even notice, but I was so very sick of the album I'd bought Demyx for Christmas last year. After a couple of way-too-loud tracks, I informed Axel's mom that I was going to bed and turning my phone off, and then realised I needed to write another report. Between lighting a candle all on my own and my firm belief that Roxas's crush was a Fire Whisperer, I wasn't going to run out of topics any time soon.

I gathered the reports that I'd let strewn on my bed when Dem and I had agreed to get ready together (that kid is a freaking _wizard_ with eyeliner) and took out a fresh piece of paper and a pen. I perched on the very edge of my chair and began to write, deciding not to even glance at the clock, because if I realised what time it was, I would also realise that I was exhausted.

Then my old cell phone, the one I didn't use any more because it was shit, started ringing from underneath my bed.

Sighing, I got down on my hands and knees and peered at the gap between my mattress and the floor. I spotted my phone just within arms' reach and slipped my hand under the bed, extending my fingers as far as my joints allowed, and snatched up the piece of garbage in one motion. Whoever was calling my old cell needed a good excuse, because my mood was taking a turn for the worse. David Bowie had, at some point, shut the fuck up, and in fact I think that Demyx was asleep. Shaking my head at the stupidity of everyone that wasn't me, I flipped open my phone. It was Seifer.

"Megan! Hi! How are you?" Oh, brilliant, he was drunk. I could detect a little slurring but not enough to suggest that he was completely shitfaced.

"Hi Seifer," I said wearily, deciding to be very nice so that he would leave me the fuck alone. "I'm fine, how are you? You sound a little drunk."

"I am a little drunk!" he laughed, and I sighed. The worrying thing was that there was no background noise, none whatsoever, on his side of the phone. Had he just got drunk in his own house? "I wanted to talk to you. You have a really pretty voice."

"Aww, thank you," I said through gritted teeth. "Where are you right now? Are you at home?"

It felt like talking to an incredibly tall baby. "Yeah! I'm all alone in my bedroom, my parents went out. Hey!" I jumped slightly at the sudden exclamation. "You could come round! Oh my God, Megan, you should totally come round! I wanna talk to you!"

I took a deep breath. "Seifer, we've got school tomorrow. I can't. Tell you what, though. You drink plenty of water tonight and try and get some sleep, and tomorrow we can talk for as long as you want, yeah?"

"Oh, but I want you to come over to my house!" he whined. Then there was a pause, and his tone changed. "I would fuck you, Megan. I would fuck you so hard that –"

"Okay, Seifer, drink some water and call me back when you're sober, okay?" I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the frame of my bed. Why was I even bothering?

"No, Megan, I want you to come to my house!" He was yelling now. How brilliant. "Come on, Megan, please!"

"I can't, Seifer," I repeated firmly. "I'll go over to your house tomorrow after school, okay?"

There was a blank silence. Then, "I love you, Megan."

"Okay, and that's great. Now, you get yourself some water, and then try and sleep, okay?" I wondered whether I had actually placated him or whether he was just running out of steam. Either way, as long as the conversation came to an end, I was okay with it.

"Okay, but don't forget about coming to my house tomorrow." He hiccuped. "I'll dream about you." I couldn't tell whether that was meant to be romantic or perverted. With his voice slurring like that it sounded more like the latter. Still, he was drunk. "Okay, Seifer, I'm going to hang up now."

"Okay," he said amicably, sounding a little like Demyx. Whoa, that was a creepy thought. I pressed "end call" on my phone before hurling it at the wall, the top half snapping clean off. Now he couldn't call me back and I had a legit reason for it. Well, kind of.

I couldn't help but see my clock as I settled back into my chair to finish the report. It was nearly midnight, what the fuck? I sighed and picked up the pen, intent on at least completing the sentence Seifer had interrupted.

But the chair was so comfy...

**Roxas**

After a long discussion with Demyx, eight rounds of Rock Paper Scissors and a thumb war, I was dispatched to Megan's room to ask if she could turn the music down. Dad had already gone to bed, aided by Dem's sleeping pills (Demyx didn't take them very often any more, but when he needed them, seriously, he needed them) but there was no hope of either of us getting to sleep with Megan's favourite loud noises being blasted through the house.

"Megan?" I whispered, knocking on her door with only one knuckle. "Megan?"

There was a long pause. I turned the handle slowly and peeked into her room, spotting her in her chair. Then my jaw dropped.

She'd actually managed to _fall asleep _in her chair, _right next to _her stereo. She was either taking some of Demyx's pills, or she was exhausted. Or both.

I noticed that she was halfway through a report and had a pen mark across her left cheek. She actually looked sort of... peaceful. And innocent. And sweet. I backed out of the room and retreated to where Demyx waited for me, biting on his nails.

"She's actually _asleep_," I said, looking back over my shoulder nervously. If you went in Megan's room without permission you were killed instantly. If you went in Megan's room _with_ permission then sometimes you'd get a thump anyway. "How can she be _asleep_?"

"She's had a long day. And Seifer drove her home. I've seen that kid's driving – fearing for your life does tend to take it out of you." Demyx looked at me. "Now, you have to kill the music, but not too suddenly or she'll wake up and then you're for it. Turn it down one notch every fifteen seconds or so. And be careful."

"Why do I have to do it?" I demanded. Demyx pouted.

"_Please_, Roxas." I sighed and left the room, trying to be quiet but not doing too well since I was in hefty black sneakers.

Megan was out for the count but I seriously doubted she'd been pinching Demyx's sleeping pills. She had never done drugs and I knew she didn't really love alcohol. In fact, I don't know why she was always invited to parties: she was always the most sober person in the room, except maybe Demyx, who didn't know what alcohol _was_. I'm not even joking. I shook my head at my own thoughts as I crossed the room nearly-silently, my footsteps padded by the thick carpet on her floor, hidden beneath most of her possessions. I reached the stereo and turned it down one notch, then took a look around.

Her old cell phone lay broken clean in two next to the wall. I wondered whether someone had pissed her off over the phone or whether she just wanted to throw something. Probably the latter, since Megan often just threw things. Sometimes I really worried about her. I turned down the stereo a little bit more and looked over at the report she'd been writing, just close enough to recognise my name and probably to read it if I really wanted to...

Another decibel or two of quiet and I shuffled to the left a little. I could probably pull the report away from her without waking her up... I could reach it from here...

I turned down the volume a little more and put my hand onto the paper. Okay, Roxas, deep breath. The worst thing that could happen is she wakes up and thumps you. Repeatedly. With something sharp. Oh, for fuck's sake, just give it a quick tug, would you?

Before I knew what had happened the report was in my hands and Megan was still fast asleep. I looked down at it but remembered I had a job to do. I turned the volume down a little more, then read a sentence:

_Roxas's new friend, Axel, is a Fire Whisperer, and he's well aware of it._

I took a deep breath. Okay, for every sentence I read, I'd turn down the volume a little more.

_He's warm. There's a heat emanating from him, or at least there was when I grabbed hold of his shirt in order to kill him. (Roxas stepped in. Typical.) I could almost __see__ it in his eyes – almost, not quite enough for that to count as proof – and he has a cockiness to him that suggests he has powers that other people don't have. Well, not for long, Axel. Soon I'll figure out just how to do, well, anything. Demyx asked me if I could teach him how to talk to water. That sparked a whole world of questions – what if you could? What if you could talk to wind as well? Or thunder? Or, well, anything? If you can control fire, what else can you control? What about __people__?_

_God, that's a scary thought. If anybody could control anybody else... if that power was abused... hmm..._

I realised that I'd turned the volume almost all the way down. Megan was certainly a deep thinker. And the ideas she was having scared me as much as they seemed to scare her. Imagine if armies had control over the elements – over people's minds...

I shuddered and finished the last of the volume adjusting. Sometimes I really believed in Megan and her theories on Fire Whisperers. That was the worst part – some of what she said was so believable, but so terrifying, that I'd rather turn a blind eye, and I think most people felt that way too. In a way, Megan was being incredibly brave by playing with fire, especially all on her own.

I put the report back on the desk next to Megan and looked around. If I wasn't afraid of waking her up I would have put a blanket over her or something, but I didn't really need my balls ripped off that night, not when I already had so much in my head.

Things like Axel and the way he kept looking at me, and how gorgeous his eyes were – and how I was _totally straight_. Really. Honestly. Truly. I was.

I decided to go to Seifer's party. I needed to keep an eye on Megan anyway – Seifer knew exactly how to get under her skin and as her brother it was my job to stop him. Plus Axel was gonna be there, but it wasn't like that was my main reason or anything.

Because I'm totally straight.

Really.

xxx

I think that this chapter is a little shorter than the ones before, so the next one will probably be nice and long to make up for it. Thanks to the people who have reviewed and so on – you guys make me smile so much. Oh, and thanks to my best friend, who will go unnamed for the time being, for being my beta, even though she doesn't have a clue about anything Kingdom Hearts related. If this sucks, blame her. If it's good, blame me. And if you want to review...


	5. Chapter 5

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

I woke up after a dream where Zexion gave me a bunch of flowers and then I ate them, thus making him cry, and realised that it was four in the morning. Why was it four in the morning? Shouldn't I be asleep at four in the morning?

I took a deep breath, putting a hand to my forehead and feeling the layer of sweat there. If I took a sleepy pill now then there was no way I'd be able to go to school in the morning. I really didn't want to miss school, especially not when I had History with Zexion on Tuesdays. It was Tuesday, wasn't it? My breathing started speeding up as I leaned over and looked at my phone. Yes, it was Tuesday. Okay, that was great.

Giving up all hope of getting back to sleep, knowing that the only way I'd manage it without sleepy pills would be to hit my head repeatedly, I got out of my bed and turned the light on. I decided to style my hair now rather than at six, which was when I normally did it.

I stopped suddenly when I heard a thump in the back garden. The front door was always very, very noisy and the back door had been broken for as long as I could remember, meaning that the best way for me to get out of the house quietly would be to climb through the window. Feeling light-headed and unable to think straight (although since I'm gay I very rarely think straight, hahaha... no? Okay...) climbing out of the window seemed like a pretty good idea. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

There was a weird meowing noise that made me freeze with one foot dangling out of the window. Was there a kitty down there? Oh, I had to go see it! I put my other foot through the window as well and for a moment sat on the windowsill, looking at my moonlit garden. Then, slowly, painstakingly, I turned myself around so I faced my bedroom and put my hands onto the window ledge, moving one foot out behind me and lowering it down, stopping when I found a small gap in the concrete that felt like it could be a foothold. I moved the other foot down and when I couldn't find another place for my foot just kept it pressed hard against the wall, my hands still clutching at the window ledge because my life depended on it. Taking long, deep breaths and closing my eyes tight, I lowered one hand in search of something to hold onto. I grabbed onto something that felt plant-like. Opening my eyes slowly and trying not to listen to the sound of my own slightly panicked breathing, I recognised the plant as ivy, hopefully not the poisonous kind, and gave it an experimental tug, finding out that it was pretty secure. Hooking one foot around it and pulling it closer, I tugged again, harder, and figured that it would almost definitely hold my weight. While the "almost" part was a little worrying, I was too sleepy and determined to panic too much. People think I'm dumb – Xemnas once called me "soft in the head as well as the stomach", which made me cry until Megan gave me her last cookie – but when I set my mind on something I'm almost unstoppable. Megan and Roxas both know that. Like when Meg got me a sitar for Christmas – a month after Dad adopted her, two months after he'd adopted me, back when he was still married – and I learnt how to play it in the space of a week. (I still have it, but it's broken, so Roxas got me a new one and I play it _all the time._)So now, dangling from a vine next to my window, I decided I could do this, and therefore that I would.

I brought my other hand away from the window, swinging away from the house a little, and gripped the ivy tightly. I started climbing down, swallowing hard as my heart pounded in my chest. It's okay, Demyx, you're just climbing down a skinny little vine outside your house, all five foot eleven of you... I closed my eyes tightly and thought light thoughts as I descended, trying to weigh less. Bubbles and feathers and – oh, was that the ground? It was! My eyes flew open as I glanced downwards and saw thin, dying grass, mud, and bits of rubble. I thanked God (David Bowie, really) that I could never sleep without shoes on and let go of the ivy, my feet now solid on the ground. There was a kitty sitting on the edge of our old pond, licking its paw. I crept towards it, reaching out a hand. I think it was black. It looked that way in the moonlight, anyway, although the sun was probably due to rise soon.

The little kitty hissed at me and leapt away, disappearing in an instant. Oh, well. Maybe it was shy. My eyes fell on the glassy water it had been sitting next to, and I remembered talking to Megan about Fire Whisperers and whether it was possible to talk to water as well. I could be the first ever Water Whisperer! I took a deep breath and looked at the water, concentrating on it and nothing else. (I've been accused of having a short attention span as well, but it's just that most things are so _boring_. When I was actually interested by something then I could spend hours focusing on it.)

"Okay, this isn't working," I muttered after seven hours or so (probably more like seven minutes, but Megan didn't take _that_ long to light the candle in the restaurant, did she?). "Okay, erm... what if I actually talk to you, water? Hm?"

The water didn't respond. I held my hands out over it, took a deep breath, and commanded, "Dance, water, dance!"

And to my amazement, some water leapt out of the pond, hovered for a moment just beneath my hands, and then dropped back down, settling almost instantly as my heart started racing.

"I can talk to water!" I gasped. It didn't even feel extraordinary, in a way – like there was a part of me that had always known. "I'm a Water Whisperer!"

And just to make everything a little better, the kitty peered out at me from behind a compost bin that was never used. It walked towards me slowly and rubbed against my ankles, vibrating like a cell phone. I looked around, just in case someone was watching, then scooped it up.

"Aren't you a pretty little thing?" I cooed, scratching in between its ears. It purred even louder, its eyes glinting. Aawwwww. "Do you have an owner?"

There was no collar, and it felt almost eerily light, like it wasn't eating quite enough.

"Don't worry, little kitty, Demy will take care of you." I knew that Dad didn't like pets, in fact he flushed Megan's goldfish when it was still alive and did... _something_ with Roxas's budgie that meant that it was "gone forever"... But hey, this kitty was safe as long as Dad didn't, erm, know. After all, it wasn't _lying_, because Dad wouldn't _ask_ me if I had a kitty in my room, right? I could buy cat food out of my allowance and leave the window open for the kitty to go on adventures while I was at school. I put the kitty down my shirt and without thinking twice, scaled the ivy and clambered through my bedroom window. This cat was so _warm_ and so _soft_, even if Dad did find out he'd let me keep it, right? Not that he was going to find out. I had never really kept a secret before, but it couldn't be that hard, could it? Megan had done it a fair few times and gone _months_ without being found out, and I think Roxas probably had too.

When we got to my room I placed the kitty on my pillow very carefully and looked down at it. Was it a boy or a girl? With people, you just look at their clothes and their hair and sometimes their faces, that's how you tell, isn't it? But I couldn't tell with this cat, so I decided it could be a girl, since I'd always wanted a girl cat. I stroked her, deep in thought.

"You need a name," I told her softly, stroking her chin as she extended her neck, letting me stroke her more. "What shall I name you, kitty?"

If only it were a boy, then I could have named it David, after David Bowie. But actually... Bowie wasn't such a terrible name for a girl cat, was it?

"You can be called Bowie," I told her, and she seemed to purr louder, enjoying the name. "You like that? You wanna be called Bowie?"

She started nudging at my hand and I realised she must be starving. I left the room again via the ivy – it wasn't nearly so scary this time – and sprinted to the store, some munny in my left pocket. Luckily it was one of those twenty-four hour ones, although I bet they didn't expect a kid with a mullet to be in there buying cat food at half past four in the morning. I also bought two little cat food bowls, one for water and one for food, and ran back home, my energy knowing no bounds in the chilly almost-dawn air.

Shimmying up the vine again and climbing into my bedroom, I spotted Bowie curled up on top of my sitar (the one Roxas got me, not the broken one from Megan) and smiled, glad to see that she had good taste in musical instruments. I had been heartbroken when Megan's sitar had been broken (by Dad, I mean, who else would have done it? He had made me watch and everything...) and I think Megan would have bought me a new one in a heartbeat had she not been staying with Naminé at the time. As it was, I _think _she got a little bit of quiet revenge on Dad when she came home, but she was so good at the "quiet" part that I wasn't too sure.

Anyway, I fed Bowie (she was so _cute_!), showered, styled my hair and got dressed for school. I was kind of surprised when I looked out of the window and saw the sun just above the horizon. It was half past six and I could hear stirring from Megan's room. Dad had "borrowed" some of my sleepy pills last night, so Megan, Roxas and I would have to make our own breakfast – not that that was a major loss. Dad couldn't cook. Normally Roxas made the food, I did the washing-up, and Megan did the laundry. Dad was either at work or asleep, or sometimes with his friends. We had to fend for ourselves – well, really, we had to fend for each other.

"Bowie, you have to be quiet, okay? No meowing or you'll get found out." I kissed the top of her head and she purred, still picking at the food I'd left for her. I'd feed her again when I got home – hopefully I had bought enough food for a week, but I wasn't sure how much you were meant to feed a cat – and maybe put a David Bowie CD on while I was at school, both to teach her about her namesake and to drown out any noise she might make in my absence.

**Roxas**

I woke up after a really, really, _really_ disturbing dream about Axel – yeah, one of _those_ dreams, the ones teenage boys get... anyway, I woke up and fixed my hair a little before heading downstairs. Demyx was doing some washing up, fully clothed with his hair already done, as I bundled my sheets into the hamper by the kitchen. Megan didn't let us have hampers in our rooms because it meant she had to go in and collect them, something she really hated doing. It was easier just to have a massive communal one near to the washing machine, and then if you happened to, erm, get cum on your sheets, just for example, not that it ever happened to me, then you could hide them amongst everyone else's dirty clothing. If Megan noticed then she never asked questions.

"Hi, Roxas," Demyx said brightly. He looked almost too perky and I wondered where all his energy came from. It was Tuesday morning, for God's sake!

"Hey, Dem," I said wearily, turning various knobs on the cooker. I was the only person in the house who ever used it. In the rare event that Megan (shudder), Demyx (even more shuddering), or Dad (haha, that wouldn't even _happen_) was forced to prepare a meal, it would all be done with the microwave – although Demyx had managed to blow it up once and cover it with various vegetables twice. Megan was normally okay as long as it didn't involve adding water. She just couldn't get that right. Maybe it was something to do with her love of fire, I thought bitterly, extracting some eggs from the fridge. From the stairs came a long, drawn-out squeak and then a thud, letting me know that Megan had slid down the banister. If Dad had been awake he would have yelled at her, and she probably would have yelled back, and then he would have thrown something, and then she would have... oh, shit, the eggs were sticking. I gave the pan my full attention, still not fully awake, as Megan padded into the kitchen.

"Naminé is getting back tomorrow," she informed us. I smiled at that. Naminé was a sweet girl, if a bit on the watery side, and she used to have a crush on Demyx, until Megan broke the news that actually, my older brother was as gay as Albus Dumbledore (may he rest in peace). I just knew that she'd come back from Hollow Bastion with presents for me, Dem and Megan, as well as a familiar smile and, if Megan had told her anything at all, a hunger for knowledge about Axel, Zexion, and possibly Seifer. Oh, and hugs. She was very big on the whole hugging thing, which could sometimes be a problem, since Megan really wasn't.

"Aww, I really like Naminé," Demyx said, finishing the last dirty plate and turning towards me. "Need any help, Roxas?"

"No!" I yelped, as Megan chuckled. "Uh – I mean... why don't you lay the table or something?"

Demyx didn't look hurt as he replied, "Because I really can't cook? Yeah, that'd probably be best, really." He set about laying the table and I exhaled, glad to have averted a crisis so early in the morning.

"Megan!" Oh, shit, Dad was awake. I had learnt that Demyx's sleeping pills wore off far too fast on Dad, much faster than on Demyx. Probably because he _wasn't supposed to take them_. "Megan, have you been sliding on that fucking banister again?"

"Dad, don't yell, you're upsetting Demyx!" she screamed in response, stomping over to the bottom of the stairs. "And no, I haven't been on the fucking banister, you chipped the goddamn paint yesterday with your fricking car keys, remember that?"

"Don't you talk to me like that, you little shit!" Sleeping pills made Dad incredibly irritable as well, if you hadn't guessed. "And I don't give a fuck if I'm upsetting that faggot brother of yours, he needs to grow a pair!" Dad was coming down the stairs now but Megan stood her ground, her brown eyes locked onto Dad like he was a target in a video game. "Between David fucking Bowie and that pissy little sitar thing that he plays all the time I'm starting to think he's fucked in the head!"

Megan rose a step, one swift, fluid motion as the distance between her and Dad almost disappeared. She didn't yell this time, but spoke in a soft, venomous voice that seemed to scare Demyx twice as much (and sent a shiver down my own spine, not that I'd ever admit to it). "You are a horrible person and you're lucky I haven't called the police on your ass yet. Demyx is nine times the man you'll ever be and Roxas is too. Taking your insecurities out on your children is the lowest you can get, and the homophobia is getting old too. Now, shut the fuck up and stop ruining my morning."

Dad backhanded her – literally slapped her across the face – and she fell back a little, stumbling off the bottom stair but regaining her balance on the wooden floor.

"Congratulations, Megan, you just made yourself sound extremely gay. Now move so that –"

"Homophobia is gay," Demyx piped up. Megan gave him a stay-out-of-this look but he kept his eyes on Dad. "Leave her alone. If you hit her again then I swear to God me, Roxas and Megan will get in my car and you'll never see the three of us again."

I turned off the oven and took a step so I was shoulder to shoulder (huh, as if, actually I was shoulder to elbow, more or less) with my big brother and put forward my own "But you'd know we were okay, because we'd have the police on your doorstep within minutes."

Dad hissed angrily, pushed Megan aside and stormed into the kitchen, brushing past Demyx and I and taking a glass out of the cabinet behind us. We all exchanged awkward looks – was it really over? – before he said brightly, "So what's for breakfast?"

I finished making breakfast in silence, Megan and Demyx both sat close to each other since Demyx looked like he was going to cry, and served it. Dad smirked at me as I sat down.

"You know, you should really leave to cooking to Megan, since she's a woman." Megan glared at him but didn't do anything – not that that reassured me in the slightest. "Oh, crap, I've left my cell phone upstairs."

He shot off and as soon as he was out of the way, Demyx leaned over and _spat_ in his coffee. Megan smiled in spite of her apparent rage and I nodded my approval, even though I was totally shocked. Demyx never did stuff like that, passive-aggressive stuff. Normally he was just plain passive.

My own cell phone rang in my pocket and I jumped, taking it out and answering the call before I bothered to wonder who it was. Maybe I should have checked.

"Roxas? Hi, erm... it's Seifer. Listen, I know you don't – well, um, I... I really need to talk to your sister. Could you hand her the phone?"

"Who is it?" Megan asked – obviously my face was giving me away a little. I shook my head at her, turning away slightly.

"I don't think so. Call _her_ phone, or talk to her at school, or better yet, don't fucking talk to her."

"Please, Roxas, I don't think her phone is working. C'mon, man, please?" He sounded so... pathetic down the phone, pleading with me to let him talk to my sister. For a moment it made me wonder what his intentions really were.

Unfortunately Megan had now cottoned on and she reached over the table, trying to get the phone from me. I held it tighter and jerked away from her, determined not to let her have it.

"Come on, Roxas, I can make it worth your while. You wanna come to my party at the weekend? You totally can, and you can bring whatever scum you – I mean, you can bring whichever friends you want, it's fine. Just please let me talk to Megan."

The desperation, both in his voice and in the offer, made my grip on the phone loosen just enough for Megan to snatch it from between my fingers, scooping back her hair so she could talk to him. "Hey, Seifer, you've ruined breakfast, now what?" She clearly wasn't happy with him. Why could that be? "No, Seifer, I completely forgot about you calling me inconveniently on my old cell phone last night, because I'm just that thick." Seifer called her on her old cell? Wasn't that the one lying in pieces on her bedroom floor? Although maybe that's why she broke it... "Oh, shit, I was hoping you'd forgotten about that." Forgotten about what? I looked at Demyx as if he held all the answers but he was sucking up porridge like an animal. An animal that hadn't been fed in weeks. And really loved porridge. "No, Seifer, I can't, Naminé gets home tomorrow and I have to – well I have to sleep at some point! – No, no freaking way. No, Seifer, it wouldn't be more convenient, not by a long shot. No, no, no, and no. For fuck's sake, can't we have this argument at school?"

"Megan! No cell phones at the breakfast table!" Dad bellowed, re-entering the kitchen. Megan made a point of finishing her conversation before she hung up.

"Yeah. Yes, fine, whatever. See you around, Seifer." She hung up and handed the phone back to me, then covered her face with her hands.

"Isn't Seifer that boy you like?" Dad asked, and Demyx smirked into his porridge. He's a firm believer in karma and hates lying, so I guess that he felt like balance was being restored to the universe when Megan was caught off guard by her own lie. Once you got past the obsessions with David Bowie and his sitar, he had a really strong sense of justice, and of right and wrong.

"Um... kind of," she said. "It's complicated." She took her hands away from her head and the look on her face told me it was more complicated than any of us knew.

"In a way I guess I've got it easy with my crush," Demyx broke in. I got the impression that he was trying to pull the attention away from Megan now that she had endured a minute or two of squirming and excruciation. (I love the word "excruciation". I think it has something to do with Megan and her aggression rubbing off on me.) "She never talks to me, so I always know where I stand with her – she doesn't know I exist."

For the gayest person in Twilight Town, Demyx sure did a good job of pretending to be straight. I wondered if he'd give me some pointers, since that dream with Axel in it had scared the crap out of me. Usually Dem didn't even have to pretend – he was, as Axel put it, "comfortable". He just didn't give a fuck about the opinions of most homophobes. With Dad, though, he had to be careful. Dad was perfectly capable of making Demyx's life a living Hell if he wanted to, especially when Megan and I were preoccupied with our own love interests. While Megan was brilliant at defending Demyx (and me, even though I resented it) from most people, there wasn't a lot she could do with Dad – not that she didn't try.

"Naminé gets back tomorrow, and to be honest I'd rather discuss this with her," Megan shot, giving Dad a venomous look across the table. He shifted in his seat; after all this time, you'd think he'd get used to Megan's death looks, but apparently not. Demyx handled them better than he did.

"I'd – erm, I'm going to go and shower," Dad said, scurrying out of the room like a scolded puppy. I found myself wondering where Megan got all her power from. After all, not many teenage girls can light a candle with nothing but their mind.

"The school bus should be here in forty minutes," I said, my eye on the clock. I don't know why, but ever since Dad threw a cuckoo clock at my head and almost killed me, I had a very small fixation when it came to timekeeping. It was something I always avoided mentioning around Marluxia, since she – oops, I meant "he" – always jumped at an opportunity to psychoanalyse me. Huh, psychoanalysis. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let Marluxia do _anything_ to me, especially if it included the word "anal".

"Nobody cares, Roxas," Megan said, but she didn't mean it. She was just a little upset about Seifer.

"Seifer invited me to his party," I told Megan quietly after pausing, and sort of to my surprise, she smirked.

"He invited me and told me I could take the both of you if I wanted, but I told him that there was no chance in Hell of that happening. I guess he knows me better than I thought and figured that I hadn't passed on the message."

"You mean I get to go to Seifer's party?" Demyx asked, his face lighting up. I wasn't entirely sure why Demyx bothered going to parties, since he didn't drink or do drugs or, well, _anything_. Oh, apart from that one legendary New Year's Eve, when he kissed Seifer, then announced to two hundred or so people that "I have cured this man of the dreaded homophobia with my magical lips! Now, who's next?" He got quite a few kisses that night, some from guys and some from girls. Don't tell him this, but with his big green eyes and what seemed like chronic innocence syndrome or something, he was a little bit of a heartthrob in his grade. He would hate to know that, though. He thought those girls were just being friendly, and he wouldn't want to think that he'd ever upset anyone at all ever.

In fact, short of being gay when people wanted him to be straight, and spitting into Dad's coffee (which I was still shocked about) he had never harmed anybody, ever, in any way, shape or form.

"C'mon, let's go see what's on TV."

**Megan**

I was stood waiting for Seifer before school started, next to his locker, because I'm a freaking sucker like that. How had he even got Roxas's phone number? Although I had to give him props on bribing him with a party invitation. He often made a point of inviting everyone in the world that wasn't Demyx or Roxas, just to make them feel bad. My brothers were often his main targets, partly because they were my brothers and he could use them to get my attention, but also just because he could. Dem was the softest guy in school – in all of Twilight Town, really – and Roxas was, well, not tall, and often had more bark than bite. (Still, his bite could be pretty goddamn vicious when he wanted it to be.)

"Megan." I locked onto Seifer's face, folding my arms and fixing him with a glare that told him I was thoroughly displeased. "You came."

"Of course I fucking well came! I said I would, didn't I?" Seifer continued to walk towards me until there was less than a foot between us. "I don't know why you wanted to talk to me so desperately that you couldn't wait til I got to school, but I'm here now, so you can fucking well spit it out!"

All of a sudden Seifer was too close to me. I took a step backwards and my foot hit the bottom locker – I was trapped. Seifer was going to use that to his advantage, I knew he was. "You did promise you'd come to my house tonight," he said softly, his hands finding my hands as he leant forwards slightly. "And it would be so much easier for you to stay the night than have to go home and –"

"No it wouldn't, Seifer, and you know that," I said, pulling my hands out of his grasp and putting them on his chest, ready to shove him away at a moment's notice. My heart was beating faster and I could feel his breath on my skin... I was dangerously out of control in this situation and Seifer could sense it.

"Now, now, Megan," he said, taunting me. "Are you going to come quietly to my house or will I have to drag you?"

I scoffed. "Like you could drag me anywhere," I smirked. He smiled softly, his eyes roaming my face, reminding me briefly of a cat looking for its mouse, ready to pounce at any minute.

"You're right. I would never dream of fighting you, Megan." He reached up and put both hands either side of my head on the lockers, trapping me even more. "I'm too busy dreaming of other things I could do with you, anyway."

I scowled at him but nothing more; I could always push him away, I could hit him, Hell, I had set _fire_ to something yesterday, maybe I could try that again?... Anyway, all I did was snarl, "Get the fuck off of me, you pervert."

"But Megan, I'm not even touching you. You're the one with your hands all over my shirt."

I opened my mouth to argue and that's when it happened. His lips touched mine. Just softly, just for a moment before I pushed him, hard, away from me, stepping away from the lockers and to the side, angry as fuck and ready to rip his hair out, followed by his teeth and then his vital organs.

"What the _fuck_ was that?" I exploded. He grinned at me – that little bitch had the nerve to _grin_ at me.

"I just kissed you," he informed me – _like I didn't already know_ – as he reached out and took one of my hands. "How many guys can say that they've successfully seduced _Megan_? Hm?"

"Get the fuck off me," I snarled, trying to tug my hand away from his. "I'm serious, Seifer."

"I know you are, that's what makes it so much fun." He looked down at my hand, suddenly looking concerned. "You're _both_ types of hot, Megan, what gives? Seriously, are you ill?"

"What are you on about?" I demanded. I didn't feel hot, I was sort of comfortably warm.

"Really, Megan, I think you should go to the nurse or something," he said, reaching up and touching my cheek. "Are you feeling – ah!"

He pulled his hands away from me suddenly, looking down at both of them. They were pink and a little raw, swollen, like very fresh burns. "You burnt me!"

"How can I have..." The last of my anger died an anticlimactic death as I realised what _could_ have just happened, maybe. "Do you really think it was me?"

Seifer bit his lip and looked down again at his hands. They looked really sore, and I wondered whether it would leave real marks behind. Slowly, he nodded. "What was the term again? Fire Whisperer?"

I swallowed. "Yeah," I whispered. "But... I didn't..."

"Didn't mean to?" I just looked at him and he knew that was what I meant. "I know you didn't, Megan. Well, that's fun, isn't it? Imagine if I pissed you off in the bedroom... _that_ would be interesting..." I gave him a look and the pervy grin slipped off his face. "Okay, but seriously, try and cool down a little before you come to my house tonight. Of course –" the perverted grin was back "– I won't mind if you hurt me a _little_..."

"Seifer!" I snapped, and he laughed. I could just kill him. With _fire_.

"I'd kiss you again, but I don't wanna burn my mouth. Wait for me in the car park when school's finished, okay?" With that he blew me a kiss, turned and left, leaving me utterly dumbfounded.

Did I really just burn his hands?

Was I a Fire Whisperer? Is that how it happened?

I really needed to talk to Naminé, and in the meantime, Marly.

xxx

I meant to update a couple days ago but this enormously problematic thing called "my social life" sprung up and got in my way. So to make up for it I've given you even more crappy fanfiction than I normally do! Aren't you lucky? Oh, and also, I'm thinking about uploading the oneshot I'm writing, "Organization XIII discovers coffee", inspired by my younger brother. D'you think anyone would actually read that? Anyway, thanks for reading my crap, and if you feel like reviewing...


	6. Chapter 6

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

Axel glomped me the minute I arrived outside of Xigbar's classroom. People were always early to Xigbar's lessons, or at the very worst, on time. Even Megan showed up before the bell rang, such was the respect that Xigbar made you give to him.

"You look _adorable_ in this uniform, Roxie," Axel told me. I thumped him but only half-heartedly and he looked at me, worried. "Okay, that didn't even hurt. What's wrong?"

"Nothing much, it's just that I'm a little worried about Megan." Axel nodded, fully serious now. "She's started talking to Seifer again, who recently won an award for Douchebag Of The Century, and she keeps yelling at Dad and talking back, and... and you probably don't care that much anyway."

"I do!" Axel protested, flinging a supportive arm around my shoulders and squashing me to him. Don't look him in the eyes, Roxas. Whatever you do, do not look at his gorgeous green eyes, and that gorgeous pale skin, and – wait, _what_? DEMYX WAS THE GAY ONE. NOT ME. "I swear, Roxas, I really –"

Xigbar's door opened and he stood there for a moment, grinning at us all. Everyone's favourite maniac, he wore an eye patch that sparked immediate interest, a scar stretching up across his face, and a My Chemical Romance T-shirt that Megan would have died for.

"I see we have a newbie!" he exclaimed, grabbing Axel's arm and dragging him into the classroom. He had gotten rid of all the desks – and by got rid of I mean one lesson we had an enormous bonfire on the soccer pitch – and replaced them with bean bags, armchairs and the occasional spacehopper bought out of his own salary. He steered Axel to an electric blue bean bag and motioned for him to sit down, then turned to face the rest of us. "Right, I seriously can't be bothered to teach today, so you're all going to tell the newbie something interesting about yourself, and then we can play a couple games. Oh, and since you guys are my first class today, you get doughnuts."

We all flipped out – doughnuts were the best ever – and spilled into the classroom to claim our seats. Axel grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me into his lap, laughing maniacally as I struggled against him, feeling myself turning bright red.

"Oh, Roxas, are you sharing a bean bag with the new kid? Sweet." Xigbar was totally unperturbed by Axel's attempt to kidnap me. In the end I stopped fighting against him and let him wrap his arms around me. He was obviously a very cuddly sort of guy, a little like Demyx but with the occasional sex joke or swearword. (Demyx doesn't swear, and he thinks babies come from the stork.)

"Right!" He clapped his hands and silence fell instantly, every eye on our English teacher. "Hayner, my man, tell us a secret about yourself."

"Erm... well... I like the Shrek movies..." Xigbar tutted at him.

"With feeling, bro! C'mon, tell the whole classroom that you _love_ the Shrek movies!" Xigbar was overwhelmingly awesome. I had liked him even before I started high school, when he drove Demyx and Megan home because they missed the school bus (Seifer's fault – he stole Demyx's left shoe and threw it onto the roof of the school) and he told me that I was tall on the inside and gave the three of us his cell phone number, "Just in case you find yourselves in a pickle."

And now he stood in front of me, encouraging my childhood best friend's love of Shrek, and I just had to smile.

"Okay, now, Olette! Ooh, but just before you say anything, I have to ask Roxas something." He crouched down on the floor next to me and Axel and cupped his hands around my ear. "Do me a favour, Roxas, and tell your sister to come to my classroom this lunchtime." I looked at him questioningly and he sighed, whispering into my ear once more. "I have this idea for a tattoo but I'm kinda too broke to get it done professionally, so I'm gonna ask if Megan will do it. Keep quiet though."

The muttering that had broken out stopped abruptly as Xigbar straightened up again, looking at Olette, who got to her feet nervously. Axel didn't ask questions, for which I thanked... well, not God, but _someone_... anyway, Axel just rested his chin on my shoulder and smiled at me. My heart started pounding. _He doesn't like you like that, Roxas, don't be stupid._

Everyone said something – I said I didn't like thunder and lightning – and then Xigbar broke out the doughnuts. Axel fed me mine, getting chocolate all over me. I can't say I minded too much.

"OKAY!" Xigbar was in a great mood now. I think he got a text from someone or something. "We're all going to play One Sentence Each. You might remember the rules, but I'll say them anyway, because I'm awesome like that. I say a sentence, and then I point to someone else, who adds on another sentence, then points to another person, until eventually we've got an awesome story going. So..." He looked around the room for inspiration. "It was just a normal day at the bottom of the rabbit hole... ROXAS!"

"I decided to brush my teeth, but when I went into the bathroom I was greeted by something unexpected... Selphie?"

"I looked at the purple chocobo in front of me, wondering why it smelt so bad... Erm... Kairi!"

Kairi smiled faintly. She hadn't been the same since getting stabbed in July. Her red hair had gotten longer and most days looked like it hadn't been brushed (or even washed), and there were dark shadows under her eyes. Still, her voice was strong and unwavering as she carried on the story with the words "Fleeing the bathroom, I found myself suddenly in the arms of a tall, dark gentleman. Uh, how about Pence?"

"I knew I was in love with him when I recognised the scent of peanut butter on his shirt. Hayner!"

"Unfortunately, I soon realised that his face was the one that had been on the cover of Rabbit Hole Monthly, because he was dating the Princess. Erm... new guy... Axel?"

Axel smirked, his head still on my shoulder. Nobody dared make a comment in Xigbar's classroom – Xigbar was very pro-gay rights, "Love is love" and everything, you know. I was a little uneasy as to what would happen when we left, though. "Without a word, he slapped handcuffs onto my wrists and dragged me off to his sex chamber. Xigbar!"

Xigbar waited for the giggles to die down before speaking. "Once in his sex chamber we did unmentionable things involving a pineapple and some tennis balls, and then without so much as asking my name, he dumped me outside and threw my clothes after me. Tidus!"

Tidus scratched his head nervously, probably wondering how he could ever live up to something like that. "Erm... I hastily dressed myself, an almighty throbbing in my ass, and decided to ask the village wizard, Xigbar, for some advice. Uh... Vivi."

Uh-oh. When names were added in then it could get bitchy. Hilarious, but bitchy. Still, Vivi could be trusted not to bitch. "Xigbar's wisdom was known all over the world, as was his eye patch, and I knew that he would give me advice, and perhaps a potion if I needed one. Um, Hayner again?"

"He told me to search for a troll who lived in the mountains and went by the name of..." There was a moment of suspense, "_Roxas_, and to collect the sweat off the feet of said mountain troll. Axel?"

My jaw hung open in indignant disbelief as Axel laughed his way through his own sentence, "The troll, _Roxie_," There was a murmur of "He didn't, did he?" before Axel continued, "was incredibly ugly, but he had beautiful blue eyes, and his foot sweat smelt like Burger King. You, with the purple hair."

Eventually the hero of the story – whose name, we decided, was or something along those lines – collected the sweat from my feet and used it to brew a magical potion to cure infatuation, but it didn't work and ended up with terrible poisoning, and the mystery man came to visit him in hospital, killed his wife with a magic bean of some kind, and married instead. Apparently Roxie, the mountain troll, was the priest, since very few people actually had licences for these things nowadays. We all tumbled out of the classroom in fits of giggles, even me since I'm a good sport, and I found out that the only class I _didn't_ have with Axel was Home Economics. I couldn't decide whether this was good or bad.

**Demyx**

It was third period and most of my History class was relaxing in the small, warm classroom, waiting for our teacher to arrive. I missed Bowie, and I was upset about this morning. I knew Dad would never stop being a homophobe but I also knew that Megan would never stop sticking up for me, with the result that there would always be fights before breakfast, and maybe he'd hit Megan again. Or Roxas. I pulled my knees up and rested my chin between them. A few girls pointed and whispered; I smiled half-heartedly at them. I would be just fine if Dad hit _me_ – I was the tallest, oldest, biggest, and I could take a hit or two – but when he hit Megan, and the thought of him hitting Roxas, it all made me want to –

Too late, I was crying. I felt a hand on my arm and leapt out of my chair, landing on the heater next to me with a resounding thud and a little pain, but not too much. Zexion had just tried to attract my attention and ended up making me look like even more of an idiot than I already was.

"Demyx, are you okay?" For one he wasn't clutching a book, and it made him look a little exposed, but also a little more welcoming. His adorable little forehead crinkled in worry and I melted, finding myself unable to speak.

"Uhn – I..." FOCUS, DEMYX! Okay, just take a deep breath and imagine it's Roxas. They weren't that different, height-wise. Okay. "I'm fine, Zexion, just... just tired."

I wasn't tired! Why did I say was tired? What was _wrong_ with me? A blonde girl leaned over and whispered something in Zexion's ear. His eyes widened and he shook his head, but she pushed on his arm and motioned with her head towards me.

"Um, Demyx, do you, like... need a hug or something?" He extended his arms awkwardly. Was I dreaming? Was Zexion about to grow a second head and spew peanut butter all over me or something?

Somehow I made my legs move towards Zexion and hugged him, sort of awkwardly for a moment, and then his grip tightened around me. For a short little EMO kid, he was a great hugger. And he smelled beautiful. The hug was electric and amazing and everything else, but it was also just warm and comforting and... _right_. Like we were soulmates.

Zexion pulled away first. "It's odd... I'm not used to seeing you upset. Your smile always brightens up this mindnumbingly boring class, so please, bring it back."

My heart stopped. _Did he just say that_? Before my brain could spectacularly explode all over the room, Mr Leonhart strolled in. The blonde girl who had talked to Zexion a minute ago was looking from me to Zexion and back again with a growing smile on her face. As Zexion moved away to sit in his seat, leaving me completely stunned, the girl started whispering frantically. I couldn't focus on the words she was saying, though. I just lowered myself into my seat and stared into space for the entirety of the lesson, wondering if this was how it felt to be completely in love.

At the end of the lesson I peeled myself away from my chair and shuffled to the door, waiting for everyone else to leave the classroom first. I somehow ended up next to Zexion and gave him a really, really failish smile.

HE SMILED BACK. Well, as much as it is possible for someone as quiet and EMOy as him to smile back.

I think my heart stopped. So just imagine the shock when he said, "Demyx, are you going to Seifer's party this weekend?"

You don't have to imagine the shock any more. I'll just tell you.

All the water in a nearby vase somehow found its way out of its prison, and onto Mr Leonhart's pants. I only spared him a glance, completely sure that it had been my fault that that happened, before telling Zexion that yes, I was going to be at the party, and asking if he, too, would go to said party. I managed to form all the right words in all the right order and I _think_ I managed to smile at the same time.

"Well, if you're going then I can't miss it, can I?" he smiled – well, it was sort of like a smirk, but with good intentions – and then he disappeared off to another class. I was left behind at the door of my History classroom, hearing Mr Leonhart complaining about faulty vases but not really listening, and trying to remember which class I had now and whether I would see Megan or Roxas or _somebody_ on the way there.

**Megan**

At the end of the day I dragged my ass from the Math classroom to the car park. Math and Spanish were the only classes I didn't share with Seifer, so how in the name of David Bowie (fuck, I need to stop saying that, I sound like Demyx) I was expected to ignore the guy was beyond me.

I'd had a day full of Demyx spinning out about some incident with Zexion and Roxas insisting he was straight with regards to Axel and Xigbar requesting a tattoo (actually I was glad of that one; the design wasn't too tricky and I was always happy to do Xigbar a favour) and Seifer smirking at me from across the room and Marly being nowhere to be found and... well, you catch my drift, it was one of THOSE days.

So when Seifer bounced up to me looking all merry and bright, I was ready to tear his limbs off and beat him with them.

"Megan, you look as if you want to kill me." He pouted. I wanted to rip his pouting lips off and serve them to his mother for breakfast. "Come on, get in the car, before one of your brothers spots you and goes on the warpath."

I snorted. "Roxas would go on the warpath. Demyx would just hug you to death." I climbed into the car but didn't have the guts to turn on the stereo, knowing which CD would be in there. "I've had such a shit day."

Seifer clipped in his seatbelt. Wait a second, when had he got into the car? Oh, whatever. I closed my eyes and put my head back against the headrest, taking deep breaths. There was a small click and then Simple Plan started playing. I don't know why Seifer even owned a Simple Plan CD, when I liked them more than he did... oh. Maybe that's why.

I felt something brush my face and I jumped, my eyes snapping open to see Seifer doing the whole wide-eyed innocent thing that made you wonder whether he was related to Demyx.

"What? I just wanted to see whether you were still boiling hot," he said, shrugging, still trying to look innocent. He was about as innocent as a mass murderer with a chainsaw stuffed down his shirt, as I told myself while plucking a thread from my fugly school skirt. I hate uniforms, even if Axel thinks Roxas looks cute in his. (I know everything.)

Seifer started his suicide driving and I pulled out my phone, waiting until we were at least a mile from anywhere Roxas or Demyx (mostly Roxas) could possibly be before letting them know where I was. I also told them that if they called to yell at me I would just turn my phone off. I wasn't really in the mood for other people.

"Megan? You look kinda tired." Seifer was eyeing me nervously, probably knowing that I was prone to exploding and killing everyone when I was tired. (Well, not quite, but you know. Almost.)

"Yeah, I am kinda tired, I wonder whose fault that is? Maybe if _someone _hadn't freaking drunk-dialled me last night, I would have got a little more sleep!" I snapped, but there wasn't quite as much feeling in it as there usually was. Apart from anything else, Seifer looked ashamed. I don't like making people feel ashamed.

"I'm really sorry about that, Megan," he told me quietly. Please, a small voice in the back of my head implored, please keep your mouth shut and don't be a bitch to him, at least not too much...

"Yeah, well." I sighed. "I'm sorry about burning you this morning."

Seifer smirked. "It's fine, Megan, honestly. You didn't mean to." We were still a few minutes from his house. His house is BIG. "Anyway, like I said, it's sorta interesting. Think about what else you could do."

I got the feeling that the images in Seifer's head were mostly kinky sex acts involving fire and shuddered. "I could kill pervs like you, for a start. After that I'm mostly thinking revenge."

"Revenge on who?" he asked. He was driving a little bit slower today. Just a little.

"My dad," I said straight off the bat, "Xemnas for making Demyx cry, Vexen and Xaldin for getting me held back a grade, um... oh, and people who call me Meggy. Don't think I've forgotten about that." I cracked my knuckles and glared at him, but he just grinned at me, getting the car up on two wheels as he turned onto the road that would take us to his house. "Shit, Seifer! Are you trying to get us fucking killed?"

"Hm... as much fun as dying in a dramatic car crash with you in my arms would be, I had other plans first." We arrived in his driveway and he stopped the car, but didn't turn off the stereo. I looked at him expectantly but there was something weird in his face, something I didn't like.

"Seifer? You still in there?" I reached out and tapped Seifer on the head. He came to his senses a little, smiling the smile of someone who just threw up. (I've seen that smile far too many times.) "You look, um, shitty."

He took a deep breath, resting his head on the steering wheel and speaking through gritted teeth. "I'm fine, Megan, I just hate... I hate this house, and..." He seemed to run out of words, but he still had a few left: "I hate being alone in there. My parents probably aren't home. Don't leave me on my own." He looked at me, pleading, and suddenly he wasn't Oh-my-God-stop-_touching_-me Seifer, he was I-really-need-your-help Seifer.

Sometimes it was easier to deal with the first one.

"C'mon, let's go inside," I said. He didn't move. "Dude, I'm starving. Come on, or I'll have to carry you."

He smiled weakly, none of his cockiness showing up. I swallowed. "Megan, I'm really sorry about what happened before. I didn't mean anything I said or did and..." I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"Drop it, Seifer, it's fine. Now come _on_, I want some food." I wasn't hungry, but I got the feeling that Seifer wasn't any happier in his car than he would be in his house, and I'd rather be in the house, where I could put as much distance as I liked between the two of us – or as little, since he really looked like he needed a hug.

We went into the house, Seifer dragging his feet but keeping up with me anyway, and I got myself some orange juice and a pack of Oreos, then sat down next to him on the couch, looking at him for a minute.

"Seifer." I got the feeling that not all of his attention was on me, not even when he looked me in the eyes and turned to face me. "You got drunk all alone in your bedroom last night, didn't you?" My voice was softer than usual. I was being Nice Megan.

"Yeah," he said, "I did. I wanted to forget about you and my parents and everything, but I thought about you even more when I was drunk, and I wanted to see you so badly..." He sighed. "It's so easy, Megan. The basement is filled with alcohol and my parents replace it with no questions asked every time I take some. I think that they're under the impression I give it to my friends. Most of the time I'll be alone in the house and I'll just drink until I forget..."

If I wasn't holding orange juice and Oreos, I would have covered my face with my hands. There was no way in Hell that I would be able to just walk away from this now. "Okay, Seifer, you really need to stop doing that, for a start." There was a pause. "Why weren't you in English today? Or Geography?"

He did that forced smile again, the one that made me want to hug him for the rest of my life. I actually have a pretty sizeable motherly streak, or so Roxas tells me. "I was with Marluxia," he admitted, and I nodded my approval. That would explain why I couldn't find Marly when I wanted to talk to him. "We were talking about you, mostly."

"In a good way or a bad way?" I asked, but before he could answer, Brendon Urie started singing out of my pocket. Naminé's ringtone. "Uh, would you mind if...?"

"Go ahead," he said, smiling with a little more force this time. I pulled out the phone and hit a button, stopping Panic! At The Disco (Naminé has a slight obsession), and answered the call.

"Megan! Oh my God, Megan, there was a mix-up with the trains or something, I'm not sure, but I'm on my way home right now!" Naminé's voice was higher pitched than usual, so I guess she was glad to be coming home.

"Right now? When are you getting here?" I looked over at the clock. I had already been with Seifer for twenty-five minutes.

"Um, around half past four I think." I could just imagine Naminé twirling her blonde hair around her finger. "Can you come meet me at the station? And then can we go to your house?"

"I guess so, if I leave now then I can be there just on time." I was trying to figure out just how fast Seifer would have to drive to get me to the train station and how much time I'd have to waste pleading with him first.

"But you don't live that far from –"

"I'm not actually at home right now," I interrupted her. "I'll see you really soon then, okay?"

"Okay," she answered brightly. I hung up and turned to Seifer.

"I need you to drive me to the train station and I need to be there by half four." Seifer smirked. "Please?"

"Huh, this interesting. _Megan_ needs something from _me_." All of the neediness was gone from his face now – it had probably transferred onto mine – and he was eyeing me with something like greed. "And what can I expect in return for driving you to the station?"

"Uh... well, I'll go to your party, and..."  
>"Could I get a kiss?" He wasn't shy about it, at least. I considered all the other options. Most of them involved abandoning Naminé.<p>

"_If_ you drive me to the station to meet Naminé, and _if _you drive me and her to my house afterwards." I regretted the words the second they left my mouth, but by then it was too late.

"Fair enough." He grabbed my hand and tugged me off the couch, dragged me out to the car, and opened the door for me. "Hurry up, do you want to be late? I can't drive _that_ fast." I did my seatbelt up as he got into the car and turned the key. He seemed perfectly fine now that I had promised to kiss him.

I hated him.

So why did I keep getting into his car?

**Naminé**

I stepped out of the train and took a look around, wondering whether Megan had actually made it on time, and where she had been if she hadn't been home. She wasn't the world's biggest social butterfly, so it probably wasn't out with a bunch of friends. My heart stopped when I wondered whether she had replaced me with someone else while I had been gone.

"NAMINÉ!" The enthusiastic hug I received the second I was on the platform told me everything I needed to know. "Oh my God, Nami, I missed you _so much_!"

I disentangled myself from Megan, laughing. She looked a little breathless and her hair was messy. "I missed you too, Megan." She was looking me up and down, almost suspicious. "Um... I got your email..."

I knew that she was secretly dying to talk to me about lighting a candle all by herself and Roxas's new friend Axel and Demyx's crush on Zexion and everything, but she had to do this part first. "You've lost weight," she accused, folding her arms.

"No I haven't!" I protested. I hated doing this with her. "I really haven't, Megan, I've been eating –"

"Five pounds? That's what it looks like, about five pounds, maybe a little more. Am I right?"

I shuffled my feet, fixing my eyes on the ground nervously. "Seven," I whispered. I was pulled into another hug, this one softer and longer. Megan smoothed hair out of my face.

"I got you a bracelet," she told me, pulling the most beautiful piece of jewellery I had ever seen in my life from her pocket, "but I think I'll wait until you've put some weight back on before I give it to you."

"Oh, Megan, please," I begged, reaching out to touch the silver chain, complete with deep red jewels. "It's gorgeous." Megan smiled.

"I thought you'd like it. Get back up to a hundred pounds and you've got yourself a bracelet." I knew that there was no use arguing with her. She gave me a bright smile when she saw I wasn't going to bicker and changed the subject. "So, you got my email? What did you think?"

"The thing with the candle almost made me fall out of bed," I informed her, as she took the larger of my two bags without me having to ask. People don't really get Megan. They think that she's this aggressive, pushy, often thoughtless teenage girl who makes a big deal of being misunderstood and hard-done-by, but she isn't. When you get past the initial aggression, she's actually caring, thoughtful, and passionate about what she loves. Take fire, for instance. She's been working on that for a year. How many teenage girls can stay focused on one thing for a year?

"Some stuff happened today as well, but I'll wait until we get home, then I can tell Roxas and Demyx at the same time." I frowned. Megan normally brought her brothers on ventures like this, and they normally brought her on theirs. They were closer than most siblings.

"You mean they're not here? How did you get here, then? I doubt your Dad brought you." We emerged from the train station and I spotted a vaguely familiar car parked illegally and playing Deaf Havana. (Megan decided to make me listen to three hours of Deaf Havana once, but I got my own back by getting her custom-made Panic! At The Disco underwear for her birthday.) "Megan... isn't that..."

"Seifer's car, yeah." She opened the door for me and handed me my bag. "Is it cool if I sit in the back with Naminé?"

"If you must," came the voice of a slightly irritated Seifer from the front seat. Megan was trying to hide the fact that she was ashamed of herself. She hates shame, her own and other people's. And guilt. She says that it's counterproductive, but I think that they're just emotions she's not good at coping with.

"Megan!" I whispered, putting on my seatbelt. It had a hole in it that looked like the whole thing could snap at any moment. "You said you were never gonna talk to him again!"

"I know what I said, Naminé, but you try avoiding him," she hissed back, doing up her own seatbelt. "Now, hold onto something, his driving is..."

"My driving is a lot better than yours, Megan," Seifer said. She went a little pink and turned her head away from me, but too late. She was _smiling_. At something that _Seifer_ said. Did someone break Twilight Town while I was gone? Next thing you know Demyx would be having sex with a girl and Roxas would be ten feet tall.

Seifer's driving was nothing short of terrifying, but I had been in a car with Megan driving (once, and NEVER again) and I have to say I preferred this. Just by a little. Not much.

When we pulled up at Megan's house I got out, bringing my stuff with me, and Megan went and stood by Seifer's window, which had been open the whole time, playing havoc with my hair. I decided not to intervene, partially because Seifer was beneath my dignity and partially because I was scared I'd see something I shouldn't.

"Wait up, Naminé!" Seifer drove off and Megan took the bigger bag again, and each with a bag almost as heavy as ourselves, we struggled our way to Megan's front door.

xxx

Yay, Xigbar shenanigans! I confess, I am a MUCH bigger fan of XigDem than I am of Zemyx. I'll try not to be biased, but really, I'm a teenage girl. Oh, and I like Naminé, but she isn't nearly as awesome as Xigbar. (And if you think Xigbar is unrealistic as an English teacher, he's based on my own. We once had a teaparty in an English lesson. It fucking RULED.) If you wanna review... Oh, and do you guys want me to stick Saïx in here somewhere? I hate him, so writing him in would hurt me emotionally, but if you want it I'll do it. REVIEW. If you want.


	7. Chapter 7

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

"Where the Hell have you – Naminé!" I took the bag out of Naminé's hands and put it down next to me, then hugged my sister's sweet, innocent best friend. I think Naminé was good for Megan; she balanced her out a little, and gave her someone to look after.

"Hi, Roxas." She pulled away from me and squinted. "_You_ look like you're in love."

"What the – how do you – I'm not..." I spluttered. Megan once told me that teenage girls are all equipped with gaydars, meaning they could instantly tell whether or not someone was straight. As they got older their powers only got stronger. I wondered whether Naminé knew that – oh, for fuck's sake, I WASN'T GAY. I did _not_ have a crush on Axel and I was _not _checking out his abs in the locker rooms after PE today.

Not that she said anything along those lines, but you know.

"He is," Megan grinned. She was holding the larger half of Naminé's luggage and grinning at me evilly. "There's a new kid in his grade and Roxas is already in love."

"NAMI! OH MY GOD!" Demyx smashed into Naminé, coming out of nowhere as he was wont to do, and crushed her in a well-meaning hug. She went red – whether it was because she still had feelings for my brother or because she couldn't breathe was unclear. "You'll never guess what Zexion said to me today!"

Oh, God. While I paced up and down in the kitchen, waiting for our wayward sister, Demyx had been going on and on and fucking ON about Zexion. It worried me slightly.

While Demyx babbled at a somewhat surprised Naminé, I took Megan aside.

"That text you sent Demyx and I. I'm not happy with it, Megan."

She scowled, obviously not in the mood to pretend to be contrite. "Seifer isn't the devil, Roxas. I think you'd rather I was there with him than kicking up fights with Dad, right? I bet you get so sick of me yelling and Dad yelling, of things being broken and Demyx crying... at least this way, I'm out of your hair, right?"

If she'd just been saying that to throw me off, or to make me feel guilty, I could have coped. But she meant every word, I could see it in her face, in the way she held herself, all of it was open and real and... raw. "Megan..." I muttered, pathetic as pathetic gets, rubbing the back of my neck. "Megan, I don't think that you're – I don't – Seifer is – well..."

She smiled bitterly, suddenly looking several years too old, unreachable, tired... and the scariest part was that she still looked like Megan. Somewhere along the line, my invincible big sister had started to grow up. And it wasn't turning out too great for her so far.

"Dad's not home." It was the only way I could think of to break the awkward silence. "Do you think he would hit you again?"

Sisterly concern settled onto her face, her eyebrows coming closer together as she sighed. "No, Roxas. Don't worry about it, lil bro. Anyway, that's my problem, not yours, okay?" I scowled but she just smiled and shook her head at me, still in Capable Big Sister Mode. "Now, I think Dem and Nami are both happy –" I shot them a glance and realised they were discussing some guy Naminé liked "– so how about you talk to me about Axel, whose mouth was residing on your neck at lunch today?"

I tensed. "Megan, me and Axel are –"

"Just friends?" Her lip curled at one corner and I saw a VERY disturbing similarity between her and Axel, just for a moment. "If you say so, Roxas. How about we discuss this over Oreos?"

Demyx turned instantly on hearing one of his very favourite words. "OREOS? We have OREOS?"

Megan nodded, pulling some from the hood of her oversized hoodie. "And you thought no good could come of me being at Seifer's house."

"Did you steal them?" Silence while Demyx held out a begging hand to try and get an Oreo. "Did you steal Seifer's Oreos, Megan?" I demanded, hands on my hips, stern-mother style. Megan wasn't the only one who played Mother every once in a while.

She grinned with just a tinge of sheepishness and nodded, giving Demyx an Oreo, me an Oreo and Naminé an Oreo. Naminé was thin, almost too thin, but she accepted it wordlessly, eating it at a speed I thought impossible and then leading Demyx into the kitchen to discuss Zexion, leaving me to chew Megan out some more.

"Now, Roxas, before you decide to yell some more about Seifer, think of this – Axel is a dick as well. As your big sister, I should have him pinned against the wall and threatening his life, as well as teasing you a fair bit and insisting that you're chaperoned whenever the two of you are together." I opened my mouth – to say what? – but Megan smiled, sickly sweet, and continued regardless. "We're an unorthodox little family, Roxas – Demyx, who is as gay as gay gets, me, the aggressive feminist whose only proof of being straight comes in the form of Seifer, and you, the little blonde bundle of angst with a crush on a _guy_." I scowled at her but she seemed to relish it, taking out another Oreo and eating it slowly, thoughtfully. "I'm going to give you some help, Roxas. You won't _want_ my help, I know that much... but you'll get it, and you'll be glad later on."

And with those ominous words and a twisted little smile, she headed into the kitchen, and I heard her voice ask "So how was hugging Zexy, at long fucking last?"

For an evil, calculating, sadistic knot of aggression, she was actually a pretty awesome big sister.

**Megan**

I curled up in my bed at ten at night. Naminé had finally gone home, after an intense gossip session with Demyx about a guy called Luxord with "an accent to melt aluminium" (Nami's words, not mine) that she met in Hollow Bastion and Zexion and a little about Axel. She seemed to have fully buried all her feelings for Demyx, although I noticed her stealing the occasional glance at Roxas. Weird... I guess it was just the unattainable she wanted all the time: her best friend's brother, to be as thin as Jack Skellington...

Speaking of Jack, I should probably text him a quick "hi" at some point. Nami and I had been on vacation together in Halloween Town when he succeeded in making Naminé piss herself with fear, something even I found difficult, and I had acquired a huge amount of respect for him within the first two minutes of talking to the guy.

Respect... my mind drifted from thought to thought in my dark, warm bedroom, linked only by a word or sentence... I respected Xigbar, and Marluxia, like they were a couple of extra fathers...

I took a few steps further away from sleep at the thought of fathers, and the blow I'd taken that morning. I didn't mind when Dad yelled at me, and I could be his punching bag for the rest of his pathetic little life... but it upset the boys to see me getting hit, and there was no way in fucking hell I would ever let either of them feel the back of his hand with that much force across their faces.

My phone vibrated, having been instructed not to beep now that it was past ten o'clock. I reached over to my bedside table, which was piled high with candy wrappers, books, tissues and CDs, and scooped up the phone.

_I heard Naminé got back early? Is there any new gossip? And what's going on with you and Seifer? Ooh, and I think Vexen is nearly within my grasp. With another week or two and the right equipment, I'll have him on his knees... begging, I mean, not sucking me off, not yet at least. Text back NOW. Lots of love, Marly xxxxxxxx :) 3_

I smiled at my cell phone, Marluxia never failing to brighten up my day, even if he had to do the psychobabble bit first, to keep his job at my school.

_Yes, Marly, Naminé is back in Twilight Town. I think that her parents booked the wrong train so she had to borrow someone else's Gummi ship to get to the station in time or something. It probably would have made more sense just to land the Gummi ship next to her front door and bypass the stupid Twilight Town railway system completely, but NO, she has to stay within the LAW -.- Anyway, in Hollow Bastion she met this guy called Luxord and she's nuts about him. Zexion hugged Demyx today and Roxas seems thoroughly unnerved by Axel's cuddliness and his own feelings about it. And there is NOTHING between Seifer and me. NOTHING. At ALL. The end. Oh, and I really didn't need to imagine my Chem teacher on his knees in front of you, thanks, Marly. What makes you think that you're so close to seducing him, anyway? Text back or I'll kill you, love Megan :P_

I don't do the whole one-hundred-and-two-kisses-and-a-smiley thing at the end of texts, but at least Marly understands this and doesn't take offence when all he receives is a ":P". I closed my eyes and relaxed without sleeping, until my phone vibrated in my hand.

_There's nothing going on between you and Seifer? Good luck telling him that... Anyway, Vex and I. I cornered him in the staffroom today and invited him to go see a movie, whilst eating some candy that required a lot of sucking. I think I'm close, Megan... will you be a bridesmaid at our wedding? You wouldn't have to wear pink, I promise... unless you wanted to? Anyway, this Luxord guy. Is he nice? Do you approve of him seducing your precious little best friend? And what about Axel and Roxas? And Zexion and Demyx? How do you feel knowing that everyone else around you is falling in love, but you're denying your feelings for Seifer? Text back, lots of love, you know who I am xxxxxxxxxx 3 3 :)_

I frowned. Since when did Marluxia support Megan x Seifer so fully? I mean, he's always been concerned with my happiness above all else. But normally he encouraged me to make my own choices and to follow my heart. (Yeah, it does sound cheesy as fuck.)

_Marly, it's nearly half ten on a school night, I don't want you to analyse me. What I've heard of Luxord is okay; he has a gambling problem,from what I gather, but I have a fire problem and Nami has a food problem, hell, Demyx has a David Bowie problem. I'll be a bridesmaid at your wedding to Vexen providing I don't have to wear a dress of any description, especially not a pink one, and I don't have to socialise with that madman you jerk off to, oops I meant your husband. Oh, and final warning: SHUT UP ABOUT ME AND SEIFER OR I WILL BURN ALL THE FLOWERS IN YOUR OFFICE_._ Love Megan :P_

I drifted into sleep before I could receive Marly's reply, jolting back into consciousness at three in the morning when I heard a faint meowing coming from I think Demyx's room.

"Kid's prob'ly playing that fukken sitar," I mumbled, snuggling into my pillow. An image flashed before my eyes where Seifer's chest was the pillow and – no, let's not go there. I was in my bed, in my house, and there was no way Seifer was getting anywhere near me any time soon. Apart from anything else, Roxas wouldn't allow it.

**Demyx**

"Bowie, shh!" I scooped her up and began to stroke, looking around my slightly untidy room. As far as I could tell Dad still wasn't home, but I wasn't sure Meg and Rox would take kindly to me adopting a stray kitty without their permission.

Three in the morning. I had been going to take some sleepy pills, all excited about Naminé's new crush (he sounded real cute, if not for Zexion I would've grabbed a Gummi ship and gone to Hollow Bastion to meet him myself) and Axel x Roxas and of course, THE HUG. But I had found the pill bottle empty and realised that Dad must've had the last ones last night. We couldn't get another bottle until next week because of prescription laws or something. Moogles were strict when it came to things like that.

I picked up my phone, my fingers hovering over the keys for a moment, before deciding on a person to text.

_Hey Xiggy, I can't sleep, are you still awake? I'm so bored and lonely right now. Text me back xxxxxx PS Was that assignment due in today or tomorrow?_

Within seconds a reply flashed onto the screen. I guess Xigbar was still awake.

_DemDem! I'm totally awake, bro. If you're bored we could play a game? And that assignment is due in tomorrow, but fuck it, you can hand it in whenever. By the way, you and Zexion? Really? I would've thought you were into older guys... perhaps eleven years older? Xxxxxxxx_

Eleven years? That's odd, Xiggy was eleven years older than me. What a cute little coincidence. Eagerly I responded, _A game? Ooh, I love games! Oh, and you know what's odd? You said 11 years older, and you're eleven years older than me! Haha, I'm glad I'm taking your English class, I never would've noticed that coincidence otherwise :) So what game? xxxxxx_

I put Bowie into her basket and she curled up, purring loudly. I think she likes the noises my phone makes.

_How about the one we played earlier? I say a word, you come up with whatever word springs to mind, and so on? And clever work, spotting that 11 years thing. I hadn't even noticed it myself. Xxxxxx_

The game of word association went something like this:

Me: _Cats_

Xigbar: _Hair_

Me: _Shaving_

Xigbar: _Shaving foam_

Me: _Showering_

Xigbar: _Nudity_

Me: _Sleeping_ (Yes, I sleep naked, why not?)

Xigbar: _Oh, you sleep naked? That's cool, bro. I do too. Anyway... Dreams_

Me: _Going to school naked_

Xigbar: _Temptation_

At this point I laughed. Public nudity and temptation? That didn't make any sense! The dude was clearly tired, after all, it was three in the morning. I decided to let it slide, since the last thing I wanted to do was hurt Xiggy's feelings.

Me: _Chocolate cake_

Xigbar: _Hmm, not what I was thinking of... anyway, erm, eating_

Me: _Candy canes_

Xigbar: _Sucking_

Me: _Licking_

Xigbar: _I'm enjoying this conversation. What about... kissing?_

Me: _Kissing and licking are only very vaguely related, but oh well... mouths_

Xigbar: _Tongues_

Me: _Can I say licking a second time?_

Xigbar: _No, you can't. Come on, DemDem, think. What else can you do with your tongue?_

Me: _Erm, talk?_

Xigbar: _Or you could scream... my name... while I_

Xigbar: _Shit, I didn't mean to send that! Fuckshitdammit._

Me: _It's fine, Xiggy, but why would I be screaming? You're not planning to stab me or anything, right? RIGHT?_

Xigbar: _Haha, oh, DemDem, you're so fuckable._

Xigbar: _I MEANT ADORABLE._

Me: _What does fuckable even mean? And don't tell me it's not a real word, because Seifer said it to Megan once. Then she hit him._

Xigbar: _It's code. Only Megan's English class know what it means. They would hate me if they found out I told you, like if I told them about the whole Spin The Bottle incident three weeks ago._

Me: _Okay, I guess that's fair enough. Anyway, Spin The Bottle was FUN... although I still don't understand why you kept getting me to kiss... kind of an odd coincidence, dontcha think?_

Xigbar: _Perhaps it's destiny. Anyway, back to the game, what was the last word? Talk? Okay then, my word is conversation._

Me: _Privacy_

Xigbar: _Making out_

Me: _Zexion_

I stared, horrified, at the "Message received" on my screen. Had I really just said that? Had I seriously just told my English teacher that I wanted to make out with Zexion? Oh, sweet David Bowie, that was mortifying.

Xigbar: _Hatred_

Wait. Xigbar hated Zexion? How could anyone hate Zexion? Zexion was like, David Bowie's assistant or something, the Jesus to David's God, incredibly gorgeous and... anyway, yeah. So Xigbar hated Zexion?

Me: _You hate Zexion? He's so awesome :( I bet you'd like him if you got to know him better. Anyway, hatred... Dad._

Xigbar: _Ah, yes, Roxas and Megan have both told me a bit about your dad. If he gets out of hand let me know and I'll come give him a smack, yeah? And as for Dad... baseball?_

Me: _Baseball bat_

Xigbar: _Second base_

Me: _Third base_

Xigbar: _Euphemisms_

Me: _How are they euphemisms?_

Xigbar: _They're sort of... like a scale, sometimes, to show what different types of making out you've done with someone. Anyway, it's your word._

Me: _Euphemisms... hmm... ENGLISH LESSONS!_

Xigbar: _Staring into your gorgeous eyes_

Xigbar: _Fuck no, why does this phone keep sending things I don't want it to send?_

Me: _Aww, Xiggy, that's so nice. I think your eye is lovely too. And your eyepatch is awesome. Ahahaha, that made my day. Do you really think that my eyes are gorgeous? N'awww._

Xigbar: _I think everything about you is gorgeous, DemDem._

Me: _AWW! You're beautiful too, Xigbar, and don't you dare forget it! I especially love your hair, I just wanna run my fingers through it. Is it as soft as it looks?_

Xigbar: _Even softer, DemDem. You can run your fingers through it any time you like, kay? I've got a couple essays to grade, but I'll see you in second period, all right dude?_

Me: _Yeah, that's cool. You won't forget what I said, will you? About you being beautiful?_

Xigbar: _As if! Talk to you soon, DemDem _

Me: _Talk to you soon, Xiggy _

I smiled to myself. Bowie was asleep, the sun was starting to come up, and I even felt a little sleepy. It was at least another two hours before Roxas and Megan would wake me up to get ready for school; I could get some sleep. I needed some sleep.

I glanced in the mirror and spotted the grin that was plastered across my own face. _Xigbar says I'm gorgeous. I'm not just a fag, I'm not just a little fairy. I'm __gorgeous__. And "fuckable", whatever that means. Go eat yourself, Dad – Xiggy says I'm gorgeous._

With a small, triumphant smile still playing around on my face, I lay down and closed my eyes, nuzzling into the pillow as if it were Xiggy's hair.

**Megan**

I pulled myself out of bed and trudged down the stairs. Demyx was sat at the table, eyes half-closed – had he got some sleep last night? Roxas was still upstairs, probably enjoying a dream about Axel, or else panicking over the fact that he wasn't the nice normal picket fence heterosexual blondie.

"Megan?" I looked over at Demyx. "What does fuckable mean?"

I decided it was far too early in the morning for this sort of conversation. "It's, um, a secret."

Demyx yawned widely. "Figured you'd say that. It's just that Xiggy and I were texting..."

"Oh, how is Xigbar?" I asked, latching onto the name in my own sleepiness, trying more to keep the conversation going than to actually say anything worthwhile.

"He's great." Demyx sat up a little, smiling widely. "In fact, he told me I'm _gorgeous_."

I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that that bore some significance, but it was too early, it was way too early to think about anything other than when Roxas would be downstairs to make breakfast. I just nodded.

"Megan? Demyx? You two up yet?" Roxas stumbled into the kitchen, looking almost more tired than Demyx and definitely more tired than me. "Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to make you wait so long for breakfast."

I waved my hand, knocking the words to the side, and stood up. "It's fine, lil bro. We were just talking about Xigbar, weren't we, Demyx?"

Demyx nodded. "He's so nice, Rox, he's an absolute _legend_ in fact. We were texting each other this morning."

A part of my brain was starting to wake up, the over-protective sister part, and I decided to take Demyx's cell phone at the nearest possible opportunity and make sure Xigbar hadn't said anything that would make me want to beat him into the ground – I mean, anything that could get him fired. Because of _course_ I would never attack a teacher. Xaldin's nose got broken by a door last year, I swear. Nothing to do with me.

"Me and Axel were texting last night," Roxas said as he shuffled into the kitchen. Oh, I'd have to remember to give Axel the standard "Don't even think about fucking with my little brother or I'll kill you and use your bones to make my bread" speech. "Nothing interesting, though."

I sighed. "Marly and me were talking about Naminé and Seifer and you two."

The conversation lulled into comfortable silence and I found myself praying to fire, David Bowie and anything else that Dad wouldn't show his ugly homophobic face at my breakfast table. Roxas served up bacon and eggs and toast and we tucked in. Nobody had had the guts to tell Demyx that bacon came from pigs. You should've seen the dinner table last Christmas, when some idiot thought it would be clever to point out that we were eating roast chocobo. Dem _loves_ chocobos. He smashed most of the plates, poured gravy onto the table cloth, then went into the bathroom and shoved his fingers down his throat until all the dead chocobo was out of his body. Poor little DemDem. We had to tell him that chicken nuggets grew on trees and hamburgers were made out of bamboo. There was one point at which he wanted to go vegan, but I pointed out that he hates vegetables and that he would starve to death and he gave up.

"Where does bacon come from?" Demyx asked, and Roxas and I exchanged uncomfortable glances. It was silently agreed that it was my turn to answer the awkward question, and I shifted in my seat so I was slightly closer to Demyx.

"A long time ago, they used to make it out of little pigs, but they stopped doing that centuries ago. Now it's normally soya, but you sometimes get mushroom bacon. They flavour it so well that you can't even tell it's mushrooms, though."

Demyx nodded thoughtfully. "I'm real glad I've got you two as my siblings, you know. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I smiled thinly, my mind already wandering off to Naminé and Xigbar and everyone else that required my maintenance. Marluxia often told me that I tried too hard, and that my brothers would be perfectly fine without me sticking my nose into their business all the time. While that may have been true for Roxas, I knew that Demyx wouldn't last two days without me and Roxas helping him along. And in all honesty, I think that Dad would've turned me into a completely mental bitch if not for Roxas and Dem.

"The bus'll be here in about twenty-one minutes."

"Roxas," I said tiredly, "nobody cares as long as we're there vaguely on time."

He scowled a little, looking more and more like me every day, and got up. "I need to do my hair."

"Put some eyeliner on," Demyx said, holding out his eyeliner pencil. "Axel seems like he'd like that sort of thing."

Sputtering, Roxas took the pencil, and then, pink-faced, left the room.

"Naminé and I have this plan for Seifer's party," I told Demyx, stretching luxuriously and getting to my feet. "Her parents won't let her go, but she's gonna help me give Rox a makeover."

Dem frowned, pushing away from the table but not vacating his seat. "I don't think Roxas would agree to you giving him a makeover, Megan."

"That's why we're not going to ask permission first. There's this pressure point in your neck which should have Roxas immobilised for around three hours." Dem opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Naminé disapproves of this plan. But we've got to get Roxas and Axel together _somehow_."

"You can borrow my hair products and make up if you want to," Demyx offered. I grinned and skipped off down the hall, my victory made sweeter by the fact that Dad wasn't home and Roxas was talking to Axel on the phone. And giggling.

Today was my day.

xxx

Hehehe, the Xigbar/Demyx texting is possibly my favourite part of this story. I just wanna take the time to thank Death by Nutella, my amazing best friend and beta reader, and to thank P5hng-Me-A'Wy, who has reviewed every chapter of this fic so far. You two, as well as all the other reviewers, are the reason I keep writing. My self-esteem has never been the highest, but you guys all make me so much more confident about my writing and myself in general. ...Damn, I didn't mean to go all gushy and sentimental. I just wanted to ask you not to kill me for ruining Kingdom Hearts characters. So don't kill me, and if you feel like dropping in a review...


	8. Chapter 8

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Xigbar**

I watched my first period English class leaving the room, Axel's arm slung casually around Roxas's neck (they have English first on Tuesdays and Wednesdays) and wondered when Roxas's more passive sibling would get here. I probably shouldn't have been texting him at three in the morning – after all, the kid really did need to sleep whenever he got the chance – but I couldn't _help_ it. His name, his perfect name appeared on the screen of my phone and my heart sped up. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't a paedophile or anything, I was just in love with a guy who was, inconveniently, eleven years younger than me.

_Not long til his eighteenth birthday, Xigbar_, some part of my brain informed me, _and then anything you do to him will be legal. It would be very, very bad if Megan or Roxas found out about it... but it'd be legal._

"Xiggy!" Suddenly there was the scent of something sweet, like lime jelly beans, and I had a Demyx around my waist. "I'm so _sleepy_, Xiggy. Am I the first person here?"

"You are indeed, bro," I informed him, guiding him to his favourite aqua coloured beanbag and lowering both him and myself into it, so he was essentially in my lap, "so you can have the first cookie if you like?"

Demyx shook his head against my chest. _Mmm_. His beautiful eyes were closed, thick lashes lying against his cheeks, and his fingers reached up to start working their way through my black and silver ponytail. _Don't you __**dare**__ get a boner for the kid, Xigbar_. I doubt Demyx knew how to identify a boner, or what its function was, but still, it would look bad if someone else came in and spotted it, and things would only get worse with my skinny jeans on.  
>"Can I just sleep all lesson?" Demyx asked, his voice thick and heavy. "I've just had Math and I'm even sleepier than I was to start with. Please can I just sleep here with you?"<p>

Biting my tongue at what was basically a request to sleep with me, I began stroking the back of DemDem's neck, feeling him shiver beneath my fingers. Oh, but this was so _good_. _He'll be legal soon, Xigbar_, I reminded myself, as Demyx opened his eyes to look up at me. I realised he was still waiting on a reply, and took a deep, steadying breath.

"Sure, bro. Do you remember the conversation we had this morning?"

In some ways it would be better if he'd forgotten, but something selfish and lustful inside me wanted him to remember. He nodded slowly, bringing his head up to be level with mine. Something in the back of my head tugged, knowing that the other kids would arrive any minute, but I didn't care. Those green-tinted-with-just-a-little-blue eyes were tired, but still vibrant, if that was even possible, and shone with something like... _love_? God, I hope so.

"I remember, Xigbar. And I remember telling _you_ that you're beautiful. You haven't forgotten, have you?" He pouted, his stern pout (you know you're obsessed when you start naming his pouts) and put his hands on my shoulders. "You're really really beautiful, Xigbar." He kissed the tip of my nose lightly before resting his head in the curve of my neck – a perfect fit – and settling down.

"You're beautiful too, Demyx," I whispered, watching as the door opened and Larxene, Xion and some kid with brown hair whose name I could never remember all entered the room and picked out places to sit, Larxene absorbed in her own fingernails, Xion texting and the brown haired kid

frantically scribbling what looked like French vocabulary onto his arm.

"Demyx," I whispered, keeping my eye on the others, who weren't remotely interested in me and the most beautiful boy in all of Twilight Town, "do you think I'm beautiful... in the same way that you think Zexion is beautiful?"

Zexion. The bane of my existence, with his stupid books and his stupid hair and his stupid way of making Demyx smile and sigh whenever he looked at him. Oh, and my best student other than Megan, but who cared about that?

"Hmm." Demyx snuggled into my neck some more and I had to suppress a delicious shudder. _Legal soon... irresistible now..._ "I dunno, Xiggy. I guess so."

I frowned. Demyx wasn't stupid, not by a long shot, but he could be very literal-minded at times and could never tell what another person's intentions were. "You know what I mean, right? Like, you'd want to marry Zexion, wouldn't you? And I'm just wondering whether you'd want to marry me, as well." That sounded awkward, I knew it did, but I was distracted by the arrival of another five students, none of them batting an eyelid at Demyx being his usual cuddly self and me being my usual tolerant self.

"_Yes_, Xiggy," Demyx sighed into my neck, exasperated. "Like the way Axel thinks Roxas is beautiful. Like, I know Meg is gorgeous, but not like you and Zex. I know Axel is real pretty, but... I mean, when I see you or Zexion, I kinda get butterflies a little. I want to make out with you and with him, not anyone else, just you two."

Okay... I hadn't been expecting that. If not for the ten or so kids now inhabiting my classroom, I would have kissed DemDem right there. Hell, I would've fucked him on the beanbag if the poor sweetie wasn't so tired. I shouldn't have been texting him the night before... but I was glad I did.

"Aww, look!" A girl with nearly-pink hair (nothing compared to Marluxia's, though) pointed at Demyx and I, and I could feel myself blushing slightly. "You look real sleepy, DemDem! Aww, is everything okay?"

I _would_ hate Demyx's fangirls, but a) the kid was as straight as a circle so there was no threat and b) they were quite good at making Demyx's gorgeous smile spring to life, something I always loved.

"I'm fine, just couldn't sleep last night is all," he said, his arms tight around my waist as he smiled warmly at the girl opposite him, who was sitting on a yellow spacehopper. Fucking hell, of all the days for Demyx to get cuddly with me, why did it have to be the same day I wore skinny jeans? Oh, and I'd have to face Megan this lunchtime, since she was giving me a free tattoo. Oh, dear God, why was Demyx's mouth so very near to my collarbone? Fuckshitdammit.

"Aww," chirped Demyx's weird-haired fangirl, pouting in sympathy. "Well, I'm sure Xigbar will take care of you this period, right?"

Demyx nodded sleepily and snuggled further into my body. I really hoped he couldn't feel my unnecessarily fast heartbeat beneath my T-shirt or my "little problem" beneath my skinny jeans. I gave the fangirl a reassuring smile and nod and she grinned at me, and there was a gut-wrenching moment when I considered the possibility that she knew how I was feeling right then – but no. She was a fangirl. She just adored the adorable blonde in my arms, who had no idea of the adoration everyone felt towards him. Me especially.

"Xiggy," Demyx whispered, when the fangirl's attention was diverted, "it's not normal to have a crush on a teacher, is it?"

Oh... God. I didn't want to have this conversation with him on a beanbag in a crowded classroom. I wanted to have it on the beach while holding hands, and then I could just kiss him in response... Stupid imagination! Okay, how to answer the question?

"Not... not really, but normal is a shit thing to be, anyway." Dammit, Xigbar! You can't swear in front of _Demyx_! I mean, sure, Megan and Roxas both have mouths like sailors and I shudder to think what their dad might have said to the poor kid, but still, I felt bad about it. "_I'm_ definitely not normal."

"You're better than normal. You're absolutely beautiful." He kissed my neck and I couldn't stop the tiny whimper that pushed its way out of my throat. _He doesn't understand what he just did, does he?_ I asked myself bitterly, already knowing the answer. Sure, he had a crush on me, but that could just mean that he... Okay, he called me beautiful, but...

"Xiggy? You okay? Don't you like it when I do that?" His fingers rose up to brush the spot he'd kissed, tilting his head up to peer at me anxiously. "I'm sorry..."

"No, Dem, it's fine. It feels great, in fact." I pulled him a little closer to me. "I just... wasn't expecting it, that's all."

"Oh." He sounded pretty pleased at that. Aww, I just... I needed to marry him, and screw him, and hold him like this for the rest of my life...

"Xigbar?" I looked up at a ginger-blonde guy with brown eyes, fighting to keep the annoyance out of my face. "Do you have any cookies?"

I really didn't want to kick Demyx out of my lap, so I pointed. "They're over there. It's every man for himself this lesson, I'm not getting up to hand them out." I gestured vaguely to the now-still Demyx in my lap. "But if you could bring a chocolate chip one over..."

Demyx smiled against my chest, knowing that the cookie was for him. I never eat my class's cookies – I bring my own – so it had to be for the mullet-headed beauty. The kid who wanted his cookies nodded, smiling, and fetched a cookie for the little darling in my lap. When I was one hundred and two percent positive that nobody was looking our way, I dipped my head down to kiss Demyx lightly on the cheek. His eyes fluttered open in surprise, but I pulled my lips away quickly and replaced them with my fingertips, gently caressing his soft, flawless skin. (No, that blackhead is NOT a flaw, it's beautiful.) When the cookie was handed over I fed it to him, piece by piece, and tried not to look romantic to everyone else whilst telepathically telling Demyx how perfect he was and how much I loved him. It wasn't working out too well for me, but Demyx ate a cookie and every now and again his tongue brushed my fingers, and the noises of pleasure he made at the chocolate chips were... ugh. I really needed some more comfortable jeans.

The lesson should've started five or six minutes ago. "Erm... why don't we have a debate about something?" I suggested. Oh, wait. This class had Larxene in it. Not a brilliant idea.

"Yeah!" exclaimed a boy with a "To Write Love On Her Arms" hoodie. I wasn't great at keeping track of my students, but I vaguely remembered this guy as having an older sister who self-harmed.

"William, shh! You'll wake Demyx!" hissed a fangirl (not the one with Marluxia-wannabe hair) as she and a few others glared at him. He looked sheepish.

Demyx raised his head. "S'okay, girls, I was already awake," he mumbled, and the girls all beamed at him, as well as William, who was clearly grateful to be rescued from angry, self-righteous fangirls. Demyx flicked a few stray strands of hair from his eyes and smiled. I was surprised no one was squeeing. Hell, I was surprised _I _wasn't squeeing. His eyes were only half-open and he leaned his head on my shoulder, making a small humming noise of content. Ohhh, what I wouldn't give...

"What're we gonna debate about then?" Larxene asked. I noticed that her voice was a decibel or two lower and her eyes were on Demyx's utterly peaceful face and slow breathing. Aww, how considerate. If she even thought about making a move on my DemDem I'd rip her face off, though.

"I don't know, how about..." I searched my brain for a topic that wouldn't kick up _too_ much controversy. "Uh... what about..."

The others started suggesting things far too loudly.

"Hitting your kids," said a quiet voice by my ear. I looked at Demyx, startled – hadn't he _just_ drifted off to sleep?

"Why d'you wanna talk about that, Dem?" I asked. The other students, the less important ones, were bickering amongst themselves about things I didn't care about. Please, please don't tell me that Demyx's dad has hit him... I'll tear the guy apart, lose my job, go to jail, and never see Demyx again.

"My dad... he hit... Meg..." Demyx whimpered and clung to me. "Don't tell anyone."

In spite of all her aggression, and the fact that she would probably stab me if I did anything at all to her brother, I really liked Megan. She was my very best student – although Xemnas tells me I'm the only teacher ever to receive an essay from her – and she went out of her way to look after the love of my life. She also made sure to look after Roxas, and Naminé, the anorexic blonde with the big blue eyes. And...

And her dad _hit_ her, apparently.

"I won't tell a soul, DemDem, but your dad can't get away with –"

"He won't." Demyx was so sure of himself that the tornado of emotions ripping through me was suddenly settled. "The second I turn eighteen, I'm getting an apartment or something, and Megan and Roxas are living with me. We're a trio and that's how it'll stay, and I will do everything I can to look after my siblings." He sat up a little and started to run his fingers through my hair. "It really is soft..."

"And you're sure you don't want me to pummel your dad into dust?" I said, watching his face carefully. He was so beautiful, so very beautiful... oh, God, I wanted him for my own. I wanted to whisk him away to a cottage near the beach, where he could spend all day in the ocean (he really loves the ocean, as I found out quite by accident – no, I'm not _stalking_ him, what are you on about?) and he'd be safe from his nightmare of a dad. I couldn't report the guy because there was no evidence but Demyx's word – Megan would deny it, she's a little bundle of pride – and because they'd probably find Demyx, Megan and Roxas new parents... all _different_ new parents. They didn't deserve to be ripped apart like that.

Their dad, on the other hand, _did _deserve to be ripped apart. Viciously. I could get Megan and maybe Roxas to help me.

"I'm sure, Xigbar. It's my fault, anyway. Megan was sticking up for me."

That was such a Megan-ish thing to do. I could just picture her, arms folded and eyes narrowed at an enormous, faceless monster, towering over her fearless body, Demyx absolutely terrified in the background. Once I married Demyx, Meg would be my sister-in-law... as well as still being my English student. Hm.

"Why was Megan sticking up for you, Dem? What happened before that?" I noticed that the rest of the class had settled into a debate about teenage pregnancy and were split into two "teams", all speaking softly so as not to disturb Demyx. He still looked like he could drop off to sleep at any minute.

"Dad called me... uh, what was it again? Oh, yeah. He said I was a faggot, and that he was starting to think I was messed up in the head." Demyx closed his eyes and chuckled with no humour. I held him even tighter and rubbed his back, waiting. "So then she said that I was nine times the man Dad would ever be, and so was Roxas, and he hit her." The last few words came out forced, bitter, and totally un-Demyx-ish. I sighed and stroked his cheek.

"Larxene! Put the scissors down!" came a voice from across the classroom. Then there was a clatter as a pair of scissors landed right by my feet. Demyx laughed, the previous few moments of pain forgotten completely, and scooped the scissors up in his left hand.

"Uh, everything okay, guys?" he asked, looking at Larxene and the people on her team. I think they were the ones who wanted the age of consent lowered. Larxene was on her feet, looking around at everyone as though daring them to tell Dem and I what happened. The boy with the awesome hoodie – William – cleared his throat.

"Everything's fine, Demyx," Larxene ground out, her eyes filled to the brim with murderous rage. Dem was totally undisturbed by this, having grown up with Megan, and simply shrugged, tucking his head back into my neck. Again I was struck by how perfectly our bodies seemed to fit together. Like it was meant to be.

"Larxene, Demyx lives with _Megan_. You're not gonna scare him."

Larxene looked daggers at the guy who had spoken, but sat down. The kids carried on debating and I took the opportunity to kiss Demyx's cheek again, very very lightly. He tasted so good, and I wanted more of him – I wanted _all_ of him.

"Xigbar, you're so beautiful," Demyx told me again, and then he kissed my neck. _You're gonna have to stop doing that if you want to hold onto your virginity, Demyx_, said the evil little voice in my head, the one that was usually responsible for me needing to jack off in the staff toilets. Dammit. I fidgeted a little, trying to ignore what was going on "down there". "Xiggy, I swear you don't actually like me doing that." He kissed my neck again, then pulled back to look at my reaction. I licked my lips and leaned down so my mouth was level with his ear.

"The question is, Demyx... do you like it when I do it to you?"

I placed one kiss near his ear, then another lower down, then another... _Stop it, Xigbar, you can't __screw the kid in a classroom full of fangirls when he doesn't even know what sex __**is**_. Demyx moaned very, very quietly and I bit my lip, pulling away. _No sex with seventeen-year-olds in the middle of second period, you idiot_, my conscience said sternly, wagging an invisible finger at me.

"It feels awesome," he said quietly, looking me dead in the eye. The whole room seemed to go quiet and I got the feeling that he knew – no, _understood_ far more than he let on. "Xigbar, we're both idiots, aren't we?"

Then he curled back up in my arms and was asleep in seconds.

"You're not an idiot, Demyx," I whispered to the sleeping boy in my lap. "But you can bet that sitar of yours and all your David Bowie CDs that I am."

**Megan**

After two periods of Math with Naminé, (in which it was decided that on a scale of one to ten, one being fugly and ten being drop-dead fuckable, Seifer was a four and a half, Luxord – who I still haven't seen – was a nine and Mr Leonhart was a seven) and a period of Chemistry that was spent playing with Bunsen burners and trying to set fire to Seifer's rucksack (Naminé tried to help too, but I think she was just trying to placate me), I scarfed down a slice of pizza, had a brief but very enlightening conversation with Larxene, and rushed to Xigbar's classroom with my tattooing stuff rattling around in the front pocket of my bag.

"Megan! Hi!" Xigbar's smile was strained and his voice was oddly forced. I smirked – thanks to Larxene, I had a fairly good idea of what was going on.

"Hey, Xigbar, how're you?" I asked, dumping my bag down on the nearest armchair and beginning to take out the relevant needles, inks and sterilising equipment.

"Oh, I'm – I'm great, thanks!" He laughed nervously, inching his way towards me like he knew that I knew. "How's things with you and... and Seifer?"

"I still hate his guts," I said cheerily, "and you know what happens to people whose guts I hate."

Xigbar gulped, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Yeah. Ha. Um... so you know what you're doing and everything, right?"

I smirked. "More or less. Why, don't you trust me to jab needles into your skin repeatedly?"

"Uh..." Xigbar looked like he was waiting for a bomb to drop on his head and take out his other eye, as well as both ears, his nose and, well, the rest of his entire body. "I... I guess..."

I chuckled, making sure to insert a little evil in there, and motioned for Xigbar to lie down on the only desk in the room, the one at which he did all his essay-marking. I then tugged up his shirt and took the needle to the skin, pausing before I inserted it. He was utterly at my mercy. "You know, I had a really interesting conversation with Larxene before I came here." I got to work on the first thin line of the tattoo, my eyes staying on my hands even though I wanted to see the pain in Xigbar's face.

"Oh, really?" he asked, clutching at the edge of the desk so hard his knuckles turned white. I got the feeling that it wasn't just from the needles. "Larxene... she's an interesting girl, isn't she?"

"She is," I agreed, taking my time with both the needle and my words. I needed to keep control of the situation, and that involved getting the tattoo right and at least pretending to be calm. "She's in your second period English class," I carried on, "the one with Demyx in it."

And we had finally arrived at Demyx. I felt rather than saw Xigbar tense and I could just picture his teeth digging into his lower lip, his one visible eye shut tight both in pain and in fear. "I know that," he said, attempting to sound casual, fun – Xigbar-like, in other words. He was doing a shitty job at it. "They were debating about teenage pregnancy this morning."

"But Demyx didn't join in," I pressed on, shifting myself so that I could continue tracing the line on Xigbar's side. "I know he was really sleepy this morning, and apparently he was texting you."

"Just so happens that we both couldn't sleep," he muttered, his body trembling slightly as I carried on stabbing it with ink and metal. "I know you text Marluxia when you can't sleep, so it's not like you would have a problem with me and Demyx doing it, right?"

I smiled to myself, knowing Xigbar wouldn't see. Me, have a problem with it? No, not at all. But this was not only necessary, it was fun. Perhaps it's sad that I get my kicks from terrifying people and setting fire to things, but I suppose there are worse ways. And I hardly ever _permanently_ harm people, anyway.

"Well, I guess that would depend on your intentions," I said lightly, sticking the needle into him particularly hard on the last word. "After all, Marly is as gay as a triple rainbow, and I'm a girl. Whereas you are widely known to be pansexual, and Demyx is an adorable little gay teen. There is a _slight_ difference, is there not?"

Xigbar whimpered. "What are you... what're you getting at, Megan?"

"_How do you feel about my brother_?" I growled, pulling my hand away to look at what I had done so far. It was going brilliantly, as was the miniature interrogation.

"Oh, he's a good kid, him and that Axel guy –"

"Very _funny_, Xigbar," I spat, returning to tattooing with a little bit of malice. "You _know_ I mean Demyx, who _apparently_ spent all of second period snuggled up with you on a bean bag."

I heard him gulp again, shifting a little underneath my industrious hands. "I... uh..." I stood up abruptly and glared at him, my jaw set. "I think he's beautiful," whispered my English teacher. "I really... I love him, Megan, I... please don't kill me..."

The last sentence sounded so desperate that I had to laugh at him. "I gathered _that_ part of it, genius," I said, crouching back down and continuing to permanently mark his skin. "But really, how do you feel about him? Do you want to screw him? Or do you want to marry him and grow old with him and look after him because he's the most adorable thing you've ever laid eyes on?"

"Both." I blinked, not quite expecting that. Then I grinned. Xigbar was one of the few people I would actually trust with Demyx... a little. I wouldn't want the two of them alone in an apartment together or anything, but one English lesson every day, I could cope with.

The list of people I would let anywhere near my brother is a short one. Me, Roxas, Naminé, Xigbar a little bit, Marluxia an even littler bit, and maybe, just _maybe_ Larxene, since she'd been the one to tell me what was going on with Dem and Xigbar, and since she was the only one who seemed even a drop worried about Demyx's constant tiredness. That had definitely put her in my good books.

"...Megan? You aren't going to murder me, are you?" Xigbar asked uncertainly, and I laughed in spite of myself and my desire to remain relatively in control of the conversation. "That wasn't a very reassuring laugh, Megan." He sounded a little bit panicked now.

"Chill, Xigbar, I wouldn't kill you. Not if it would upset Demyx." I thought back to the conversation – if you could really call it that – that I'd had with Dem at breakfast that morning. "He was ecstatic this morning, you know. Apparently you called him gorgeous, and he was really pleased. I don't know how much you know about our dad, but he doesn't do much for Dem's self-esteem."

Xigbar sighed, almost making my third or fourth black line go wrong. "Yeah, well..."

"So how long have you been in love with my brother, then?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was taking the piss. I was kinda glad that Xigbar was going to rescue Demyx from Zexion's clutches. "Zexy" was permanently PMSing and I doubted he would be able to cope with Demyx on one of his (albeit rare) bad days.

"Since the first time I saw him," Xigbar said, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him smile at himself, at the memory. "When he was a lost little thing with only one shoe, staring after a bus that had gone without him..."

Wait a second. If I remember right, that's the same day Seifer claims he started liking me. Well, fancy that. "Seifer is such a dick," I muttered to myself as I started to change the ink from black to dark blue.

"Oh, for stealing Demyx's shoe and throwing it onto the roof?" Well, yes, amongst other things. "Yeah, but just think, if not for him, I would never have got Demyx's phone number, and I never would have been able to tell him he was gorgeous this morning."

I paused, chewing hard on my lip, wondering whether I should tell Xigbar what happened last year with the pumpkin. Much as I didn't want anyone to know, I knew Xigbar wouldn't laugh, or try and be all "How does that make you _feel_?" the way Naminé and Marluxia would. But the thought was gone as fast as it had come. Opening up to Xigbar? No, not now at least.

"It's kinda odd... that's the same day that Seifer started liking me – if he's telling the truth, that is. You'd think that the fact I smacked him round the head with a skateboard and called him the jackass to end all jackasses would've put him off a bit, but _no_." Xigbar chuckled. "You teach Roxas and Axel, don't you?"

"Ah, those two." He sounded amused. "It's weird, little Rox is so accepting of his older brother, but the idea that _he_ might be gay seems to terrify him. Axel's all over him all the time and he blushes like crazy."

"I know. He was actually _giggling_ on the phone this morning, though. I think he's coming around."

We carried on talking about Axel and Roxas and then I filled Xigbar in on Luxord and Naminé – Naminé wasn't in his English class any more, she was in Xaldin's, so Xiggy knew pretty much nothing about Nami's social life these days – and then the tattoo was done and Xigbar peered at it, his face splitting into a smile.

"Wow! Megan, that's amazing! Thank you _so_ much!"

I grinned at him. "Listen, it's five minutes til the end of lunch, so I'd better start making my way to Geography. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Megan?" he asked as I finished getting all the needles and so on back into my bag. "Do you think Demyx likes me back?"

I grinned at him as I headed for the door. "Dem likes everyone, Xiggy," I laughed, and his face fell. "But it was you he texted at three in the morning."

I love dramatic exits, don't you?

I met Naminé outside the biggest library and noticed the juice box in her hand. _That's my girl_, I thought to myself, wondering briefly how many calories would be in that little orange box. I hugged her the second she was within arms' reach and only waited until we were safely out of Xigbar's corridor before bursting into high-pitched giggles about Xigbar, Demyx, tattoos and orange juice.

We giggled our way to Geography, only stopping to tell a very very small person that Vexen's classroom was the second door on the right once you turned the corner (something that the small person would probably be eternally grateful to us for) and entered the classroom with pinkish cheeks and very little oxygen to spare, five minutes after the bell had gone.

We got tutted at in disapproval by our Geography teacher but just sat down in the only two empty seats (luckily next to each other, but unluckily in front of Seifer and Rai) and continued our stupidly girly conversation in whispers.

"No, but..." Naminé choked, brushing hair out of her face after a particularly long bout of laughter, "I thought we agreed Cloud was gay?"

Cloud was Naminé's older brother, the strong and silent type, and had been the object of Demyx's affections for a full two days before Cloud had decided to water balloon me, thus completely obliterating all respect my brother had for him. The boys stuck up for me as much as I stuck up for them, just more subtly. After all, you wouldn't –

"Ow!" Something had just collided with the back of my head. I looked down to see a pencil lying abandoned on the floor. I looked up and twisted in my seat. "You know, boys, I know how _funny_ you think you are," I said, bending down to pick up the pencil, "but you should be a little more careful." I reached over and took Seifer's hand, keeping my eyes locked with his and my voice low. "You never know... someone could get hurt."

Then I stabbed him in the hand with the same yellow HB pencil that had hit me just moments ago.

Naminé whipped her head around to look at us when Seifer's scream ruined the quiet working hum of the classroom. I took the pencil out of his flesh and handed it to Rai. "You might wanna get the blood off of that, m'dear," I said, before turning around and getting back to the worksheet that Naminé and I had been doing together (whilst discussing various people who should totally get married. Axel and Roxas, for instance, and now apparently Cloud and Mr Leonhart.)

Ignoring the teacher that had scurried over to investigate the cause of Seifer's bleeding hand, I whispered to Nami, "You wanna come over tonight and watch a movie or something?"

She nodded eagerly, then with a backwards glance at Seifer and our teacher, who was blathering on and on about seeing the nurse and Marluxia and self-harm (because it wasn't totally obvious that _I_'d been the one to stab him), she slid her phone out of her pocket and started tapping out a text to Cloud, asking him to tell their parents that Nami was going to eat dinner at my house. She would eat more with me than she would with her family, so Cloud was pretty pleased. (Well, as pleased as Cloud ever is. Which isn't very pleased.)

"Naminé Strife, that had better not be a cell phone!" barked a voice from behind us. "Just for that, you can be the one to take this young man to the nurse's office!"

Naminé whimpered but stood up. I gave the evil evil teacher an even more evil glare before turning back to the worksheet and starting to scribble down things on Naminé's behalf. Seifer shuffled past us clutching his bleeding hand and I smirked up at him, my insides freezing suddenly when he returned it. _Stop it, Megan, he is a dick_, I told myself sternly. I tucked my chair in further to make sure Nami could get past – not that she wasn't already thin enough to get through more or less any gap – and kept my head down for the rest of the lesson, already plotting revenge on the teacher that had yelled at Naminé, and Seifer, should it cross his narrow little mind to say anything bitchy to my best friend while they were taking the three-minute walk to nurse Aeris's office.

I smiled to myself out of the blue, suddenly remembering that Xigbar was in _love_ with Demyx and that I would get away with just that little bit more if Xigbar actually dated my brother. And the thing about Demyx is that once he sets his mind on something, that's it – you're done for. And if he wanted to date Xigbar then in the name of David Bowie he would fucking date Xigbar. There was still the very small Zexion thing, but I was already hatching a plan to deal with that. Everything was going to go my way. I could taste it.

"Megan, are you chewing gum?"

I shook my head slowly, looking at my teacher with all the contentment gone from me. In truth, I was chewing gum – Marly had offered me some because it was pink and he likes giving me pink things, because he's that kind of person (a troll) – but I'd be damned before this Naminé-yelling, worksheet-delivering bitch would get me to spit out the strawberry flavoured gum.

"Are you sure?" Why would I not be sure? How could anybody _not_ know whether or not they were chewing gum?

"Perfectly sure. Are _you_ sure _you're_ not chewing gum?" I asked acidly. A cavern of a mouth was opened and I braced myself for the reply, but instead came a screeching-wailing and everyone started to get out of their seats.

"That's odd, there wasn't a fire drill scheduled for today..." muttered the grown-up in the room, without a clue what to do as usual. "Erm... everyone file out, quietly, now!"

"What, in case the fire hears us?" I asked, earning myself an evil glare. It was worth it to hear the sniggers from behind me.

So I was going to have to spend twenty minutes or so out in the freezing cold while the teachers pretended to know what they were doing, but I didn't care, because today was my day.

xxx

What... in the name... of fuck.

Has it really been _that long _since I last updated? I'm very, very sorry. I was busy doing homework (ugh) being a good friend (double ugh) and texting my boyfriend (I have one of those now! Yay me!). I have to say, I really do adore the XigDem bits of this fanfiction. I know how you fangirls love your Zemyx, though, so just wait til Seifer's party... you'll get your Zemyx...

Reviews are to me as Oreos are to Demyx, HINT FUCKING HINT :D


	9. Chapter 9

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

"Axel, you are such a fucking idiot!" I yelled for the seventeenth time (or at least, Axel tells me it was the seventeenth time. I stopped counting after eight.)

"I know, I know." By this point he had run out of sarcastic replies and just stood, shivering, with the rest of my class, having managed to not only set off the fire alarm but also destroy my bag (which had three important essays and a half-finished art project in it) and a large portion of the classroom. There were at least three desks that could never be used again and a half-melted plastic stool flung out onto the lawn. Axel and I had been standing right under a sprinkler and were soaked to the bone, both of us with fairly mild but still painful burns on our hands and, in Axel's case, arms, and half of his shirt had been burned or torn or something – anyway, he was only wearing half a shirt. There was a large hole in my pants, exposing a part of my – don't you _dare_ laugh – Spongebob Squarepants boxers.

A few feet away from us stood Megan's Geography class, louder than my own shivering group after we'd fallen victim to the sprinkler system, and I couldn't seem to spot Naminé, nor Seifer. Beyond their grade stood the one above, Demyx's grade, and I scanned the crowd for my brother's face. When I spotted it, it was pale and its eyes were wide – Dem hates fire drills, booster shots, and anything else that disrupts his carefully scheduled school day. When I looked again, I saw that Zexion was talking to him, and he started looking a little calmer, a little more reassured.

"Roxas?" I looked to my left and instantly narrowed my eyes, clenched my fists – basically, became a smaller, blonder Megan. It was Seifer, and I noticed that his left hand was wrapped in a bloodstained bandage. "Um... did Megan say she'd go to my party at the weekend?"

Axel narrowed his eyes at Seifer too, having been informed of his dickishness yesterday, during a conversation that was far longer than it needed to be – like most conversations I had with the redheaded one, actually. But it wasn't like there was anything going on. My eyes were totally not wandering up and down his exposed right side, where the fabric had come away to reveal _perfect_ abs. Nope, because I'm straight.

"Why would I tell you?" I asked acidly. I spotted Naminé rushing up behind Seifer and dropped the aggression, waving her over. "Hey, Nami, you alright?"

"Yeah, just had to walk Seifer to Aeris's office," she said, running her thin white fingers through pale hair. "Megan stabbed him with a pencil."

I stifled a chuckle. "To be honest," Seifer said, his jaw tense in annoyance, "it was a little uncalled for."

"You threw it at the back of her head and it's _Megan_, what do you expect?" Naminé asked, standing up on tiptoe to spot her best friend. I found myself wondering what kind of an idiot would throw something at Megan.

"It wasn't me, it was Rai!" Seifer protested, starting to head over to his class. That made more sense, actually. "Roxas, make sure your sister is at that party!" he called over his shoulder. Naminé stayed with us for a moment longer.

"Watch out for Xigbar around Demyx," was all she said, and then her impossibly thin frame slipped between other much larger frames until her blonde head reappeared at Megan's side.

"Xigbar and..." I lost all coherent thought when a lithe arm decorated with burns snaked its way around my waist. "Axel, what're you doing?"

"Trying to make you blush some more," he breathed in my ear, his lips tickling the sensitive skin there. Oh, fucking hell, not again. He seemed obsessed with making me squirm, blush, squeak and occasionally sputter wordlessly, and he was talented at it, as proved by the finger that ran across my collarbone and the tongue that darted out just long enough for my ear to register its presence.

Count to ten, Roxas. "Axel, could you please stop –"

"No." He didn't go any further than that, just a simple refusal before he reached up to brush my cheek with his fingers. "You're so _soft_, Roxie," he whispered, and I elbowed him – for the "Roxie" or to get him to let go, I'm not sure – and wriggled out of his grasp. He just chuckled at me before turning around to talk to Tidus, who wanted to know something about the History homework. I didn't care, though, because I'm straight. As straight as Nami's hair. As straight as a freaking arrow. Straight as – as –

"DEMYX!" I looked over at Demyx's grade and saw Naminé with her arms around my brother's neck.

"Nami!" he screamed back, lifting her off her feet and swinging her around in a full circle before placing her back down on the ground. "Your hair looks amazing! Dear David Bowie, I'm _jealous_!"

I watched with a vague half-interest as Naminé giggled and went pink. Demyx was just so... so... there wasn't even a word for it. Sweet, maybe?

"Aren't they just adorable?" I whipped around to see Megan standing behind me. "Demyx just seems to magnetically attract people, doesn't he?"

"Megan, when did you –"

"Get here?" she asked, grinning at me. "Two minutes ago, I wanted to talk to Axel." I looked over her shoulder and spotted Axel, who looked slightly dazed and shaky – so he'd been treated to the classic Megan tough-girl act, huh? Good, maybe he'd stop feeling me up now. "Anyway, as I was saying. Demyx seems to have quite a few fans, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, Megan, but why –"

"You know Zexion likes him back, right?"

Grr, would she _stop_ talking over me? "Really? Huh. Naminé said something about Xigbar –"

"I know, and I know exactly what's going on between them, so chill. My point is that Demyx is going to get the guy, regardless of who that guy actually is. You see where I'm going with this?"

I frowned. "Uh, not quite." She just smirked at me, her eyes darting over to where Axel stood, texting someone on a beaten-up old Nokia. "Erm..."

"If you don't say something soon, Naminé and I are going to have to step in," she told me, and I felt myself go pale. Please, please no. The last time she'd "stepped in", dragging Naminé in with her, Demyx's crush had ended up almost drowning in a canal... _And then they started dating_, a small voice reminded me. Demyx had only ever had two boyfriends, and one of them was now deathly afraid of large bodies of water. The other had left school after breaking Dem's heart and getting his nose broken by me and his arm, collarbone and foot broken by Megan.

Not that we're a violent family or anything, oh no.

"Okay, Megan, I'll talk to him as soon as –"

"Shut the hell up, all of you!" The entire school, stood outside in the middle of the soccer pitch, abruptly fell silent as Xemnas, in all his perverted headmastering glory, stepped in front of us. "Now... do you know why you are here?"

I looked at Megan, whose arms were folded, glaring at Xemnas with so much fury that I was surprised the guy didn't drop dead on the spot. She's always hated him, and he keeps making it worse by being nasty to Demyx and undermining her attempts to undermine him.

"You are all here, wasting _my_ time, because of the stupidity of two silly little boys." He started prowling along the line of students Megan, Axel and I stood in (when had we fallen into lines? And why? Was Xemnas brainwashing us or something?) and looking all the kids up and down. When he got to us he stopped.

"Megan and Roxas, together?" he whispered. The entire student body could hear him. You probably could've heard someone's stomach rumble in that silence. Only Megan actually seemed immune to the power he held over everyone. "Well, well, well."

I noticed that his eyes were on Megan's chest and was snapped out of the strange spell he'd had us all under. Thing is, Demyx and I have never had much to contend with when it came to boys and Megan. Seifer was a prick, true enough, but nobody else ever gave Megan a second glance except to check she wasn't about to kill them. I was totally unprepared for this situation... so I just stood and glared.

"What're _you_ looking at?" she spat at him. Tension crackled in the air for a moment, as everyone realised how bad this was, and then –

And then Xemnas _laughed_.

It was the single most disturbing thing I've ever witnessed. He looked like he was going to eat Megan – oh, God, don't think that, EW – and for a single moment, my big sister looked vaguely uncomfortable. Then she just raised an eyebrow and took one step forwards, coming almost nose-to-nose with Xemnas. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Xemnas," she said softly. I noticed Axel was inching away and I wondered whether I should as well.

"I can think of other things I'd enjoy more, to be honest," Xemnas said, and I felt my eyes widen in shock. Please, please don't let Xemnas develop a thing for my sister. That would just be... ugh.

"So can I. Most of them involve you and a knife, and possibly a –"

"Megan!" I hissed at her. She stopped talking but otherwise ignored me, her eyes locked onto Xemnas, whose eyes were wandering down her body again.

"I feel as if I don't pay enough attention to you, Megan," he said. "I'm always to busy cleaning up after idiots like your brother."

I wondered if he realised just how stupid he was, insulting me to Megan's face –

"Xemnas's _car_ is on FIRE!" someone screamed, and Megan laughed, a high-pitched, slightly evil laugh, as Xemnas span around to face the staff car park. His car was indeed on fire, roasting merrily. Axel's face lit up beside me, and I knew then that he was just as much of a pyro as Megan.

"My CAR!" he screeched, running over to the car park. Megan carried on laughing, her hand clasped over her mouth but still totally unable to keep the giggles from spilling out. And then Axel started laughing, and then Hayner did, and then all of us were in stitches, the entire school, enjoying Xemnas's suffering.

"Megan?" She turned to look at the tall douchebag behind her. "Erm... was that you?"

"Well, it wasn't me," Axel said, still half-laughing. "Megan, that was _impressive_. Did you mean to do that?"

Megan managed to choke back her laughter, looking from me to Axel to Seifer, her big brown eyes shining. "Not in the slightest, but I'm so glad I did," she grinned, standing on tiptoe to look at the burning car. "Aww, it's dying down now. The fire, I mean. That's a shame."

I let my bag fall to the ground along with my jaw, staring at Megan. "Meg!" I gasped, my voice strangled. "How... what..."

Megan turned away from me, shaking her head, and went to find Demyx. I stood, completely dumbstruck, and looked at Axel. "She just set a car on fire! From a hundred feet away!"

"Aww, give your sister some credit, Roxie. That was at least a hundred and fifty feet." Axel smirked at the bewilderment on my face. "What? You mean you seriously didn't believe all her Fire Whisperer stuff til now?"

I grabbed fistfuls of my hair, trying to form words. His eyes were so... wait, _what_? Megan had just set fire to a car and I was thinking about Axel's eyes? "Axel..." I said, trying to remember what I had meant to say. "She's... and..."

"She's amazing," said a quiet voice from a few feet away. I had forgotten that Seifer was still with us. "Look."

I looked. She was with Demyx, re-enacting an epic rap battle between Shakespeare and Dr Seuss. There were few moments when Megan actually looked as happy as she was now. I'd seen her angry, worried, teasing, _furious_, and indifferent. On one or two occasions I've seen her sad, but that never seems to last for more than ten minutes before she bursts back into interfering, plotting, over-protective big sister mode.

Now, she was laughing at Demyx, who somehow knew all of the words from this epic rap battle. Her hair fell over her face and her shoulders shook, and she didn't look so tired, so old. She wasn't looking after me, or Dem, or Naminé. She was just... being herself.

It suited her.

"You know, Roxas," Axel began, "you need to learn to relax and just... go with things." As he spoke, he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, pulling me to him so that our bodies were pressed together. _We fit together perfectly_, I noticed, feeling myself blush. Oh, fuck, why couldn't I stop blushing? I'M STRAIGHT. Swear on my life. "Look, there you go again, turning that adorable shade of red. It's like, something happens and your first instinct is to either panic, or get angry. Just take a deep breath... and... relax..."

His left index finger was tracing patterns on my cheek. I took a breath, closed my eyes, and leaned back into him. Okay... why was I actually relaxing? My heart was still thudding WAY too fast, and I desperately wanted to know what time it was, but... but the warmth that Axel always seemed to carry with him was washing through my entire body, and I just _let him hold me_... and it felt good.

Which was quite possibly the scariest part.

"Axel, stop molesting Roxas," Megan called, but she was still laughing. Seifer began weaving his way through the crowd, probably to do some molesting of his own, and Axel carried on running the very tips of his fingers over my cheek.

"I'm writing something, Roxie," he breathed. I bit down on my lip. I loved it when he said my name. Wait, what the _fuck_? I'm _straight. _I don't even think thoughts like that about _girls_. Although that might be because... no, I won't say it. I'm straight. Demyx is more than enough homosexuality for one family. "What'm I writing, Roxie?"

I bit my lip. "I can't tell."

"Well then I'll do it again, _slowly_..." God, his voice was like... _annoying_, I told myself firmly, _that's all, he's just annoying. _I could feel his breath on my skin.

I concentrated on his fingers, reminding myself that he totally didn't like me like that, anyway. He was bi – he could fall for anyone in school. Naminé, with her soft laugh and soft skin and soft hair, or maybe Hayner with his sharp cheekbones and his aura of confidence, cockiness even – would that clash with Axel, or would that make their relationship work better?

Anyway. His finger danced across my skin and I recognised the loop of a "G", an "O"...

"Gor..." I said slowly.

"You missed the first bit," he muttered impatiently, sighing. "Lemme start again."

"U... R..."

Axel nodded against my head. "And then the "gor"..."

And then it hit me, just as he completed another "G". "Axel, it's not "U R GORGEOUS", is it?"

He chuckled and my heart skipped a beat. "You're a clever one," he told me, his voice still low, sending unwanted shivers through me. I wish he'd stop flirting with me, I mean, he didn't mean it... right?

"Awww," came a sickly sweet voice, and Marluxia stepped in front of us. "You two are _adorable_."

I tensed at the sight of his girly face and girly hair and stupid little smile. "What do you want, Marluxia?" I asked, knowing I should probably be a little nicer to him than I was, since he was a member of staff and all.

"I was just looking for Naminé, I haven't seen her in _ages_ and I want to hear about this Luxord character," he told me – well, me and Axel, since the guy was still attached to my neck.

"I think she's over with the rest of her Geography class," I said, pointing vaguely. Demyx was playing Rock Paper Scissors with Megan. "But I wouldn't blame her if she'd left, considering we're just kinda standing around right now."

Marluxia smiled brightly at me and I wanted to vomit right there on his (no doubt expensive) shoes. It would be one thing if he was just gay – Dem was gay, Pence was "not quite sure", I could _deal_ with that. But this guy was far, far, far too girly, girlier than Megan, rivalling _Naminé _for fuck's sake...

He walked off, practically floating, and Axel laughed in my ear. "He's pretty, isn't he?" I said, trying to gauge how Axel felt about him.

"I can think of some much prettier people..."

Then Vexen arrived to herd us back into the lab and he released me before heading back over to Tidus.

Is it bad that I was kind of jealous of him?

**Axel**

You wanna know what the first thing I noticed about Roxas was?

His sister.

Not because she's hot – although, seriously, take a _look_ at the girl – but because she was, I learned, perfectly willing to kill me if I so much as touched her brother.

This turned Roxas into a challenge, and there's nothing I like more than a good challenge.

So yeah, as dickheaded as it is, I spent a whole day trying to figure out how difficult he would be, calling him Roxie, dodging the punches he swung at me, and making him blush. I do enjoy making him blush.

Then I got home and realised something. I liked Roxie's glaring, scowling, frantic pleading with Fate when Marluxia started walking towards our table. I liked the way that he always seemed to have one eye on his (pretty cute, if you like that sort of thing) older brother, making sure he was okay, and how he seemed aware of Megan's limits, when he needed to pull her back. I liked his big blue eyes and his soft pouting lips.

I liked the fact that he just so happened to show up to the same restaurant that me and my parents were eating at, and the way that his family and my family got along brilliantly well. I liked the fact that he was clearly trying to keep things calm between his dad and his sister, which is precisely why I spent a fair few minutes with my eyes fixed on Megan's candle.

She would've lit it _much_ sooner had I not kept it under control until her dad went to the bathroom.

Oh, and then there's the jeans he wore to the restaurant. They made _my_ jeans suddenly a little uncomfortable... but I probably shouldn't go into too much detail about that, huh?

And then at the end of the night, Megan and Demyx started making fun of Roxie, and he looked over at me. Our eyes met, his lit by a candle that his sister ignited, and he looked so... beautiful. Not cute or sexy or pretty or any of that shit. He was _beautiful_... and that freaked me out. And I decided that he was no longer a challenge – nowhere near the EMO girl who didn't let people touch her, or that one boy I'd _nearly_ given my virginity... nearly. He wasn't a challenge – he was a crush.

And then Tuesday came around and we had double English and I got to see more of laughing Roxas, of blushing Roxas, of Roxas with chocolate on his face... And then I very very nearly almost got him to come to my house, but Megan didn't turn up at the bus stop and he wasn't letting Demyx catch a bus on his own (because Demyx is a retard – erm, I mean, because Roxas loves his big brother... seriously, though, what was up with him?) so he had to babysit his brother, found out his stupid big sister was with that dick Seifer (who had fairly decent biceps, but other than that should've been drowned at birth) and ended up texting me until two o'clock in the morning, talking about his biological parents and the fact that Megan couldn't remember a single thing from the first seven years of her life and just about everything... and I started to wonder if this was love.

Then I pushed the thought out of my head. I couldn't fall in _love_ – I was Axel. _Other people _fell in love with _me_. Never the other way around.

Anyway, then I accidentally-on-purpose blew up half the Chemistry lab, partly because I wanted to talk to Megan, but she ended up talking to me... or rather threatening me. Not so much not to touch Roxas, surprisingly, but not to hurt him – and not to be a dick to her or _especially_ Demyx. I was really curious about the taller blonde now, because he seemed fairly capable of looking after himself – a little naïve at times, and there were rumours going around that he was sleeping with Xigbar (the legend to end all legends) but other than that, he seemed... intelligent might be a bit strong, but he didn't come across as stupid either.

The upshot of all of this was that I got to see Roxas's Spongebob boxers, and his hair got wet and looked even cuter, and Megan set fire to Xemnas's car, which, let's face it, he totally deserved. It was kind of fun to watch Megan learning to work with fire. Oh, and it kept her out of my hair, and meant I got to spend more time with Roxas.

On Wednesday night, my phone was set to vibrate in my pocket, and I sat with my grandma at the kitchen table, being babysat while my parents bought groceries.

"Axie..." I shuddered at the name and she just smiled at me, a soft, innocent old lady smile that I totally saw through. "I noticed that you were up quite late the other night, texting someone. Have you already got a crush?"

Dammit. Was I really that transparent? "Well, I dunno if you could call it a _crush_, since I've only been here for – "

"I only knew your grandfather for two weeks before we got married, and now look at us," she reminded me. I squirmed in my seat as the truth was shoved into my face a little more, glancing at the adorable wedding photos on the wall to my left. My grandparents' marriage was so... perfect. And imperfect. They had differences and similarities, the occasional argument, and a little bit of competition – Grandma always won at Mario Kart, but you should _see_ my granddad playing Tetris – and they still loved each other, after all these years, you could just feel it when you were in the room with them. Still... I met Roxas on Monday. I wanted to make him into another one of my challenges, and...

"Come on, Axie, tell me about her. I need some grandchildren at some point, you know."

Oh.

"Erm, here's the thing, Grandma..." I said slowly, unsure of myself, "this person... my crush isn't... female..."

"Oh, never mind, you can adopt," she said, waving a hand as if people came out to her every day. "Is he a nice boy? What colour is his hair? His eyes?"

I stared at her. "Grandma... I'm _bisexual_. You know, I like boys _and_ girls? Aren't you shocked? Even a little?"

She laughed at me, her eyes sparkling with youth that never really disappeared. "What do you take me for, young man? I'm your grandmother! I've always known you were bi! I knew you had a little boyfriend back when you were thirteen, and a girlfriend not too long after that. I knew that you liked You Me At Six for more than just the music – that Josh Franceschi..." She laughed again at the shock on my face. "Honestly, sweetheart, I'll love you whoever you bring home. Now _tell me about this boy_!"

I took a deep breath. "His name is Roxas and he's like a little angel, with enormous cerulean eyes and soft, soft blonde hair, and he smells like mango and when he scowls it makes me shiver and..." I took another breath, Grandma sipping her tea patiently. "I think he might be straight..." She tutted in a way that suggested she thoroughly disagreed. "And he has the most aggressive older sister you'll ever see in your life, but she's been through a lot from what I hear, and she can talk to fire..."

"Oh?" Grandma set down her cup. "So Roxas probably won't be alarmed when he finds out you can as well, then?"

"Well, Megan's only just starting to learn. But Roxas seems the type to accept anything, given time..."

Grandma smiled softly at me. "So he has an older sister... what other relations?"

I realised this was going to turn into a question and answer session about Roxas and reached across the table for some Diet Pepsi. "An older brother who seems to have some sort of... of problem. He's really naïve but that's all I can see that could possibly be wrong with him, but Megan and Roxas act like he's... I dunno... like he could get kidnapped and killed at any moment, by anyone at all, you know? And... the three of them are all adopted, and their dad is..." I trailed off, remembering what Roxas had told me on Wednesday morning, before I blew up the Chem lab and pissed him off.

"Their dad is?" Grandma prompted, finishing her tea and cracking open a can of Diet Pepsi for herself. I'm sure that's not healthy at her age.

"Apparently he's homophobic, verbally abusive, and leaves the three of them alone for days on end. He had a wife – they had an adoptive mother – but she died a few months after Roxas was adopted. He was the last. His parents picked Demyx out of an orphanage when he was around seven, then Megan on Demyx's eighth birthday, and then Roxas nearly a year later. And Megan doesn't remember _anything_ from before she got adopted, which makes me wonder whether..."

"Whether something terrible happened, and she just suppressed the memories of it?" Grandma looked thoughtful. "I think I'd like to meet these kids, your Roxas especially." My Roxas... I like the sound of that. "Now, I heard that some chap is having a party this weekend?" I nodded slowly, not questioning my grandmother's omniscience. "Were you thinking of going?" I nodded again. As much of a dick as Seifer was, he had some good qualities – most of them involving distracting Megan so I could molest her younger brother. "Well, how about I buy you some new jeans or something? So that you look your best?"

If anybody else Grandma's age had offered to buy me some jeans, I would have politely declined, because – well, because, they'd be _awful_. But my grandmother knows how to pick jeans.

"That would be really nice, Grandma," I glowed, getting to my feet. "Is it okay if I go and do my Chemistry homework?" She nodded. I decided it would be best not to mention the fact that nobody else in my class had received homework, and that it was, in fact, an essay about "Why blowing up the Chem lab was a stupid, stupid thing to do."

It actually wasn't a stupid thing to do at all, at least in my eyes, because I got to see more of angry Roxas, who is incredibly hot, and because now we can't do the uber boring science experiment we were supposed to do, since I may have destroyed quite a large section of the lab – by accident, of course. Well, in all honesty, I didn't go into the Chem lab thinking "Oh, I think I might blow this place up", but I got bored and noticed that we had just the right chemicals on the bench, as well as a Bunsen burner, and, well, I wanted to see if it's as spectacular as they say. And it was worth it to see Roxas drenched, and to take a peek at his boxers, and to figure out where I stood with his (still hot but not so much as Roxas himself) older sister.

Anyway, it's not as if I liked Chemistry, and I swear Vexen was checking out my ass.

xxx

AXEL IS NOT A DOUCHEBAG.

I just want you guys to remember that. I know he comes across as a bit of a dick in his chapter (YAY! Axel chapter! I love Axel. A LOT.) but that'll be explained. I'm trying to get back into the habit of updating often, but you know, I have a life. It's so inconvenient.

I dare you to review, and if you don't, well... I haven't thought of that part yet. But please review.


	10. Chapter 10

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

Naminé eventually went home after a movie and some food (she ate quite a bit, actually), and me, Demyx and Roxas all sat on the couch, watching Nickelodeon. There was orange juice and Oreos (I probably shouldn't have given Demyx any; I doubted he'd be able to get to sleep, especially since Dad had taken the last of his pills and the Moogles wouldn't prescribe us any more until the last prescription officially ran out next week) and slapstick violence on the TV, and everything was sort of... content. Demyx sat in the middle, an arm around Roxas in a typical big brother gesture, and his hand covered mine, silently telling me that everything was okay. For all his naivete and bouncy, happy-go-lucky Demyxishness, he was actually really good at being a big brother.

"Megan," Demyx said to me, eyes still following Spongebob around the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, "I'm not sleeping too well at the moment."

"I know, Dem, and I know you can't have any sleepy pills until next week either, can you?" I asked. The only thing with Demyx is that there is a thin, thin line between meeting him on his own level and patronising the shit out of him. After years of practice, Roxas and I had learnt that his medication was _always_ referred to as "sleepy pills", but that he knew the full name for DNA and could pronounce it correctly without even stumbling, that he could read a play like it was a text message but completely missed all the political or religious subtext, that he had a wicked right hook but never, ever, EVER used it intentionally, and that any time was time for a snuggle. It wasn't hard to notice that he was more protective of his sitar than his wallet, and that he'd give anything for a David Bowie CD, but it took some real effort to actually spot that sometimes he needed reminding of the simplest things – how to tie his shoelaces, on one occasion, which scared us because we thought he might be regressing or something – and that, while he could factorise equations instantly the moment it was explained to him, he didn't know how to add large numbers together without the little diagram thing they teach you when you're five. In short, he was what Roxas liked to call a very stupid genius.

"I wish I could get some sleepy pills, Meg," he said miserably, his head tilting to the side and his eyes squinting as Squidward continued to be a douchebag to Spongebob. "I _feel_ tired, but every time I get into bed I just can't stop _thinking_ and..."

"We know, Dem," Roxas sighed, shifting a little under his brother's arm. "You can have some more pills next week and then you'll –"

He stopped when Demyx clapped a hand to his forehead. "_I just lost the game_!" he cried. Both Roxas and I groaned.

"I hate you, Demyx!" His water-coloured eyes grew wide and I could almost see tears on their way out. "Oh, crap. Dem, I didn't mean it."

He relaxed again, and the living room was filled with random Spongebob noise once more. We didn't look away from the TV screen when the door opened, knowing who it would be.

"Hey kids! Good day at school?" We acknowledged Dad with a nod each and I think Roxas grunted. I felt myself fidgeting even though I wanted to stay still and unnoticeable. Was this one of those magical, incredibly rare days, when Dad was sober, in a good mood and at home – _all at the same time_? I could count on one hand the number of times that that had happened this year. It was thoroughly unnerving and unfair on Demyx, who always got his hopes up that maybe things were changing and we were all going to be much, much happier... and then Dad would turn around and start yelling again. Every freaking time. And every freaking time, Demyx's heart broke.

And so did mine and so did Roxas's, but we wouldn't let it show.

"Dad," Roxas piped up, moving away from Demyx slightly, "there's this party at the weekend, and we were wondering if –"

"A party? Really?" God, Dad was even domineering and dickheaded when he was having a good day. "Well, Demyx can look after you both, I guess..."

"Yeah, I can." He practically shone with pride at being the one "in charge" for a change.

"Great. So, no drinking –"

"But what if we get thirsty?"

I looked over at Roxas, who looked kind of uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him. _You_ try and explain to Demyx that there are some things in the world that people really, really love, but that can kill them if they have too much. When he was nine, Roxas and I had to explain death to him. It was awful. He screamed at the top of his lungs for what seemed like three days (but was probably only two hours or so) and he sobbed whenever he had any spare energy, and he wouldn't let either of us out of his sight for a fortnight, in case we died while he wasn't looking. Naturally, we now avoided topics like alcohol, drugs, anorexia (we just told him that Naminé had a stomach bug that meant she didn't want to eat, but she had to... and somehow, he believed that this stomach bug lasted for nearly a year) and basically anything that could kill someone. Or even hurt them.

"No, Demyx, no drinking _alcohol_." Dad's new-found patience was slowly trickling away and I was kind of worried that he'd end up snapping before even letting us go to Seifer's party. In all honesty, we'd probably go whether or not we got his permission, but it would save us a whole lot of trouble if we could talk him round now. Unfortunately, Demyx looked blank at the mention of alcohol, and I could sense a huge yelling fit, complete with frequent uses of the word "faggot", was right around the corner.

"What's alcohol?" he asked, just like we knew he would. I looked at Dad, my fingers locked tightly around Dem's, and started playing with the edge of my T-shirt. Wasn't this the one Seifer bought me? Oh, fuck, it was. I thought I'd got rid of that.

"What the _hell_, Demyx? Oh, never mind. Your siblings know, anyway. Now, no sex –"

"Wait." Demyx looked at me for support but I couldn't meet his gaze. _You are a shit sister and you should rot in Hell with Seifer and Vexen and Xaldin and Xemnas and..._ "Wait, what do you mean, no sex?"

"I mean, you can't screw another person whilst you are under the age of eighteen," Dad snapped, turning for the door. "I need a drink."

"Erm, no, you don't." Ah, there we go, I was redeeming myself now. Slightly. "You need to actually have a conversation with one of your children once in a while, and then maybe you'd understand why Demyx is so confused!"

Demyx tugged on my hand. "Seriously, Megan, what does he mean?"

I smiled thinly at him, wishing I could put more strength behind it. "Dem, how about you go and play your sitar upstairs, yeah? I'll explain later." With any luck, he would completely forget and I'd be home free.

He got up and shuffled past Dad out of the room. I glanced at Roxas, who gave me a "just-you-fucking-try-to-make-me-leave" glare, and then back to Dad, who was scowling at me. His face would stay like that... especially if I stabbed him in the neck and he died... I mean, um, if the wind changed. Because I never contemplate killing other people, oh no. That would be wrong.

I smacked the remote and Patrick Star was silenced. "Megan, don't even think about –"

"About what? Criticising you for being a shit parent? Well, I'm going to. Suck it. If you were ever _home_, if you were ever _sober_, if you ever spent any _time_ with your sons, then maybe you'd know that –"

"My _sons_? What the fuck does that make you, then?" he spat, taking a step towards me. At some point I'd ended up on my feet, and Roxas sat on the very edge of the sofa, ready to leap up and intervene at any given moment. This was definitely necessary.

"It makes me the one who doesn't want to see you, ever, and would be happy to move in with Naminé and Cloud." I folded my arms. "But this conversation isn't about me. This is about the fact that Demyx doesn't understand –"

"I think he understands perfectly well, and he's just being an idiot about it!" Dad was starting to go pink in the face and I was starting to wish I'd kicked Roxas out when I'd had the chance. "He's seventeen, for God's sake, but you and your brother treat him like –"

"Like we care about him! Sure, we don't treat him like other seventeen-year-olds, but that's because he isn't like other seventeen-year-olds! And he doesn't even know what alcohol _is_, or what –"

"He bloody well does know, you little bitch, he's _seventeen_," Dad hissed. I was starting to get seriously angry now, but I had to put my brothers before myself. Always, them before me, Naminé before me...

"No, Dad, he doesn't. Just because he's seventeen doesn't automatically make him an alcoholic druggie who'll screw anything that moves. Most seventeen-year-olds aren't like that, that's not healthy. But Demyx genuinely doesn't understand half of what's going on around him, and he doesn't_ care _to understand. He's _happy_ with just me, Roxas and his sitar –"

"That fucking sitar is the bane of my existence! Why is that little faggot so obsessed with it, anyway?"

"Do _not_," I growled, clenching my fists so hard that I felt my nails pierce my palms, just so I wouldn't wrap my fingers around his throat instead, "call him a faggot."

"Well he _is_ a –"

"Shut up." Roxas had finally spoken, and that was enough to shut Dad up for a moment, at least. "Seriously, shut up."

The shock of the smaller blonde piping up didn't last very long, though, before Dad opened his fat mouth again. "Who the fuck d'you think you are, young man? _And _you, Megan! He's my son –"

"And he's our brother, and we've practically had to fucking raise him. _I_ had to tell him that if someone touches him "down there", he should kick them as hard as he can and then run. _I_ had to tell him that. Me, his little sister. Roxas had to explain to him how to kiss someone. We had to hold him when he had a nightmare and we had to wash the sheets when he had the flu and puked all over them. Don't you _dare_ give me any of this "I'm his dad" crap, because _we_ raised that child, and are still raising him, and he raised us, and we raised each other, because we're a fucking family, okay? Until you learn some fucking paternal skills, you do not get an invitation to join, and I refuse to let you tell me that you brought him up, because you didn't do shit for that kid except pay for his food."

Dad just shook his head at me, then left. Probably to go to the pub and drown the truth in beer. I threw myself onto the couch, feeling it bounce violently beneath me, and tried not to let on that I was still fucking furious.

"You're pissed, aren't you?" Roxas said softly, getting up and taking the old mugs from the coffee table so that I couldn't throw them. The kid knew me too well.

"I'm seething. I want to pull his teeth out with tweezers and cover them in caramel before feeding them to a dog. How the fuck can he say Demyx is his son? How could he?"

Roxas sighed, kicking the living room door back open so that he could put the used mugs in the kitchen. "I know, Megan. One day we'll get out of here. We'll all live together on the beach, remember?"

I tried again to smile, but I just kind of failed at it. Roxas reached out and laid the hand that wasn't holding empty coffee mugs on my shoulder. "You're still his younger sister, Megan. You don't have to look after him all the time."

"Well who the hell else is going to do it?" I demanded. Roxas was completely undisturbed by this, as he always is. "He _needs _me, Roxas. And... and you need me, and..."

"And you need us, too." He smiled at me. "You're pretty fucking great, but you can't do everything by yourself. And we'll stand by you forever, you know that."

My heart ached as the little blonde left the room, and I wanted so badly to tell him that I couldn't do __anything__by myself, and that I looked after people because if they left me... if I was alone...

I shook my head hard. Marly and I had agreed that there was a reason I couldn't remember my childhood, and that it was probably for the best, really.

And the nightmares had almost stopped now.

Almost.

**Demyx**

Thursday is a total blur to me. I didn't sleep at all on Wednesday night, and all I know is what other people have told me – that my fingers were bleeding and sore, probably from playing my sitar without paying attention, that I fell over in the cafeteria and Yuffie helped me back up before taking me over to Megan's table, and that I accidentally spilt apple juice on Axel. I do remember one thing, though. I was in Xigbar's classroom (don't ask me why, or how I got there) and I was trying real hard to speak, and then suddenly I was on a beanbag with Xigbar on my left and Zexion on my right, barely able to breathe...

And then suddenly it was half past three on Friday afternoon and I was in Roxas's room with a pale, worried Megan sitting on Roxas's big black desk chair. I collapsed, apparently, and they wouldn't let me go to school the next day. Which I guess is fair.

"Demyx? Are you awake?" I nodded, trying to sit up, but Megan put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back into the pillows. "Take it easy, Dem. D'you remember what happened yesterday?"

I was so disorientated and dizzy and I felt sick and...

"Okay, just stay there. You want a drink of water? Or something to eat?"

"Do we have any cookies?" I asked feebly. Megan laughed and got to her feet.

"I'll get you some cookies, Dem, don't worry. Just stay there, all right?" She leaned over, kissed me on the forehead, and left. Now, Megan doesn't like touching other people as a rule. Nobody will tell me why. I think it's just because she's sort of an angry person. So anything cuddly and sweet was more or less omitted from our family. But I guess she must've been really worried about me, because normally she wouldn't have kissed my forehead. Normally, in fact, she would've just left me to sleep. I propped myself up on the pillows and looked around. Roxas's room was a little tidier than mine and worlds tidier than Meg's. It smelt like Roxas – the cheapest deodorant going, mixed in with cheap lemon detergent and a touch of mint – and it _looked_ like him too, checkered pillows and curtains the colour of his eyes, everything a little worn down but still in perfect working condition.

Megan arrived with a pack of cookies in one hand and my cellphone in the other. She handed me a single cookie, obviously wanting to make sure I didn't just inhale the whole packet the way I used to, and my cellphone, which was flashing madly. Xigbar and Zexion had both texted me, Zexion just saying _Hope you're okay _and Xigbar telling me that _I'm so freaking worried, DemDem :/ Text me as soon as you wake up so I know you're okay, all right? I would hate if something bad happened to you. Look after yourself, okay? _

I smiled brightly at the tiny screen and tapped out a reply to both of them: _I'm fine, don't worry xxx_

I polished off three cookies, Megan chewing alongside me, and watched as Megan texted someone incredibly quickly, her thumbs practically blurring with the speed of them. Her eyebrows were drawn together and her teeth dug into her lower lip. There aren't often times when I feel like the older one, but right now I wanted to reach over and somehow make her feel less worried. But the thing is that I don't know how. One time, I had to go to Marly's office to talk about Megan. Basically, he told me that she really likes her space, and that if she needs my help then she needs to ask for it. I really don't know _when_ she needs my help and when she doesn't, unless she tells me explicitly "I need your help, Dem." In fact, I can't read people at all. Ever.

Roxas tells me it's a good thing.

"Hey, Dem?" I looked at her, brushing cookie crumbs from the corner of my mouth. "Xigbar wants to come see you. Do you feel up to that?"

"Totally!" Why wouldn't I be? Xiggy was so awesome, and if he was worried about me then surely it would make sense for him to come over? But I guess Megan just wanted to make sure. She's aggressive (although she doesn't often hit me, probably because I don't hit back and it makes her feel bad) but she loves me and Roxas to pieces. And Naminé, I guess. (And then there's the thing with Seifer, but I think she might not love him any more. I'm not really certain about that.)

She carried on texting for a few moments more, then stood up. "I need to go call someone. Give me a shout if you need me, okay?" I nodded like a good little brother – even though I was the older one – and watched her out of the door. She was so sweet sometimes, and I really do think she just wants the best for me and Rox. She's got a funny way of getting it... but she does get it.

I remember when we first met each other. It seems like so long ago, but it was only ten years. She looked so scared and small when we first got home from the orphanage, so I said "Hey Meggy, you okay?" ...and received a large, painful bruise on my left arm, followed by a "Don't-call-me-Meggy-you-little-idiot" (she didn't know any swearwords back then) and her storming from the room. Lisa – we never called her our mother, we didn't know her long enough for that – told me that Megan wasn't angry, she was just scared, and that I should be super-nice to her. I was, for about a week, I gave her all my toys and let her have the last cookie and everything, until eventually she said "Listen, Demyx. You need to stop being so nice to people, or they'll take advantage of you. They'll get used to you being nice and they'll want you to be even more nice. See how that works?" I only half-understood but I was content with that. "Now, how's about I do your make-up?"

That was the first of thousands of makeovers Megan and I gave each other. It was also the first time I realised that boys don't normally like boys.

"So you have a crush on a guy? Whose name is Pence?" Megan had asked as she dabbed lipgloss onto my lips. "That's sweet, I guess. Kinda unusual... but sweet."

"Why's it unusual?" I had a lisp back then, I think, and a habit of tapping my foot on the floor whenever I was nervous.

"Well, _normally_ boys likes girls, and girls like boys. Like I have a crush on this boy named –" Megan was smaller back then, but she was still just as intimidating, at least towards other kids. It took her a few years to get the hang of terrorising adults as well. "Promise me you won't tell anyone?"

"I-I promise, Megan."

"His name is Sephiroth. He always used to pick on the little kids back at our old school, but I force-fed him a handful of sand and he stopped. But I guess now I'm living here in Twilight Town then I won't see him again."

She had only looked sad for a split second before reverting back into "What colour eyeshadow suits you best" mode. Still, I noticed that one split second, and I told her, "He sounds like a great big meanie. All the boys in Twilight Town are real nice. You'll meet someone nice and live happily after with them instead of Seph – Seth –"

"Sephiroth." She didn't seem at all phased by my inability to pronounce her crush's name. "I always used to say it wrong by purpose because it annoyed him, but his real name is Sephiroth."

"Well, anyways, everyone here is way nicer than in... where do you come from?"

"Traverse Town, but I don't remember it. All I remember is Sephiroth and the nice lady who always used to give me cookies when I was good. She had this special chart on the wall and if it said I'd been good, I could have a cookie. I forgot her name though."

"Really? That's all you remember from when you were little?" I had been so surprised by that, but I didn't realise just how unusual it was until quite a bit later. "I remember _loads_ of stuff from when I was a kid. I even remember my real parents."

"Did they die?" Six-year-old Megan's voice had been so quiet then, and I knew I didn't have to tell her about my parents if I didn't want to. But I wanted to.

"No, they didn't. At least, I think they didn't. They just stopped wanting me so they gave me to an orphanage. I think. Anyway, I remember that, and I remember what Santa gave me last Christmas –"

"What did you get for last Christmas, then?" It was only upon reflection that I realised Megan didn't want to talk about remembering things any more, and that she was just changing the subject.

"Lots of stuff, like a _gigantic _lollipop _this big_ and a miniature drum kit and, uh, a pack of chocolate coins and ten whole munny!"

"You can't buy anything with ten munny!" Megan had retorted. "Sephiroth said his parents had, like, a gazillion munny. _That's_ a lot of munny."

"A gazillion? No way! He must have been lying." We had bickered for a little while about that, and the argument came to an abrupt end when Megan shoved me out of the chair and dumped eyeshadow powder on my head.

In all honesty, she hasn't changed a bit since then.

"Hey, Demyx, you okay?" She re-entered Roxas's room, looking at me all worried. She was still the same Megan I met ten years ago, all right. The only difference was that she was taller, slightly scarier, and actually brushed her hair every now and again. Oh, and she had all of her teeth now.

"I'm fine. So is Xiggy coming over?"

"Yeah, he and Roxas are both on their way. Rox really didn't want to go to school, you know. He wanted to stay with you, but if all three of us weren't there it might've looked a little odd, you know?" Yeah, I know. And I know that I shouldn't have told Xiggy about Dad hitting Megan, and I know that I can't tell anyone else. People have to believe we're a happy family, or we'll get moved to new families and we won't be able to stay together. So we pretend everything is normal even on my very worst days, even if we've had to throw cold water on Megan to wake her up from the nightmares, even if Roxas starts hyperventilating because he doesn't know what time it is.

"So.. you mean you skipped school?" Meg hates school, but she normally goes. She always says "Naminé needs me". Secretly, I think that she needs Naminé.

"Yeah. It wouldn't have been any fun anyway. Naminé's got a cold so Cloud made her stay home."

Oh, Cloud. He was so cute. Of course, he was mean to Megan on exactly one occasion, so there was no way on Earth that I'd even think about him for more than ten seconds at a time – but you couldn't deny that Cloud Strife was gorgeous.

There was a knock at the front door. I made to get out of bed but Megan glared at me with all the intensity of a thousand clichéd suns and I stayed put, watching her clamber over Roxas's rucksack to get to the other side of the room. I'm not _that_ feeble... but I guess I must've scared her, just collapsing like that. Hey, it scared _me._

"DemDem!" As soon as Roxas's bedroom door was opened Xigbar was through it, moving so fast he might as well have teleported, and by my side. "Shit, I was so _worried_..."

"Oh, so you don't trust me to take care of my own brother?" asked Megan's sarcastic voice from the doorway. She wasn't all that upset though, I knew she wasn't. Roxas stood uncertainly next to her, looking from me to Xigbar and back again like he was waiting for something.

"Yeah, well, not even you could've helped him if something was really – if he –" Wow, Xiggy seemed _really_ upset. I reached over, took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"It's fine. Roxas, how 'bout you and I go make dinner? I'm sure Xigbar will be able to cope with Dem for ten minutes or so." She waved at us both and steered Roxas out of the room. I raised an eyebrow as the door slammed behind them both. Megan, making food? She found pouring cereal a challenge. I guess... she just wanted Roxas out of the room?

"Demyx, are you _sure_ you're okay?" Xigbar asked, moving a little closer to me. Aww, he was worried about me. I actually had really bad butterflies, but I decided not to mention that.

"I'm fine, Xigbar, I promise." I pushed myself up onto my elbows. "I guess I was just really tired. I don't even remember what _happened_ on Thursday."

Xigbar smiled thinly. "You came to my classroom to ask me about that essay – which got an A, by the way, it was really good – and you started stammering and going really pale so I made you sit down. Then Zexion slithered in, as he is wont to do, and you started hyperventilating." I get the feeling Xiggy really don't like Zexion. Why not? He's so cute... and he's nice, when he wants to be... "I sent Zexion to go get your sister and we got you home on one of the expensive-ass trams, but your bedroom door was locked so we stuck you in your brother's bed instead. Then Megan insisted I go back to school and carry on teaching like a _responsible_ adult, and this is the first time she's let me see you since. Fuck, it was terrifying."

I laced my fingers through his. "I'm _fine_, Xiggy, I promise. _Really_. Megan and Roxas take real good care of me, you know that. And I take care of them."

"And your father is nowhere to be seen, which is great because I'm quite tempted to hurt him very badly for not doing a decent job looking after his kids. Especially you." He leaned over and brushed my cheek with the fingers of his free hand. "I really care about you, Demyx, you know that?"

"I know. I care about you too." I sighed. "I'm just glad that you and Zexion were there. Imagine if I'd been on my own when I'd passed out."

"Oh, God, I don't even want to think about it," Xigbar said with a shudder. "If something happened to you..."

"Relax, Xiggy. I'm okay." I looked up at him and forced a smile. It was real nice of him to come see me, but he gave me such awful butterflies...

"If you're sure –" He stopped when the door smashed open, a pink-faced Roxas standing in its frame. "Oh. Hey, Roxas."

"Why are you and Demyx holding hands?" Xigbar snatched his hand away from mine, darting away from my bedside (although technically it was Roxas's bed) and scratching the back of his head.

"Uh, we were just..."

"We were talking about Zexion," I lied. Oh God oh God oh God, I'm such a terrible liar, oh my God... "Cos I said that... that Zexion was never gonna like me back, and Xigbar was kinda giving me a pep talk. You know, like in some rubbish movie about friendship and believing in yourself."

Xigbar said nothing. Roxas said nothing. Taking my cue from them, I too said nothing. Then Roxas smiled.

"Okay, I guess. Don't think about Zexion too much or you might start hyperventilating again." He took a step back. "I was just gonna ask, Demyx, do you want gravy with your dinner?"

"What're we having?" I asked, pulling Roxas's duvet up to my chin. It was so warm... I really wanted to go back to sleep...

"Shepherd's pie." I _adore_ shepherd's pie. I nodded vigorously, then watched him leave, running a hand through his hair as we went. Then I turned to Xigbar.

"D'you think Roxas actually believed me?" I asked, settling back onto the pillows.

But I didn't hear Xiggy's answer because I was engulfed by warm, heavy sleep.

xxx

I know, I know, I haven't updated in forever and you all really really missed my witticisms.

Haha, as if. (I love that line. "As if", I mean.) I've been a little busy with, oh, I don't know, MY LIFE. It's so unfun. So I have now resorted to writing fanfiction at midnight in my room when in actual fact I'm kind of ill and should be doing the fuckton of homework everyone else has already done. Oh, well.

By the way, if any of you were wondering, I am planning on jamming Sora in here towards the end. It's probably sad how extensively I've planned this. I'm even contemplating a... SEQUEL? Dun dun duuuun. It just depends on how much enthusiasm I get for this pile of crap. *cough* REVIEW *cough* :D


	11. Chapter 11

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

I pushed the door open just an inch and peered through the gap. Had Demyx fallen asleep? It sure looked like it. And Xigbar was just looking at him as if he was the entire universe all in one bed. My grip on the door handle tightened. This was exactly how it felt when I saw Axel with Roxas and heard Naminé talking about Luxord, even Marluxia and Vexen... okay, so maybe I was kind of... jealous?

Oh, fuck, if Marluxia was actually right about me for a change, I was going to scream.

I was so glad I hadn't had to go to school today. Thursday had been a freaking nightmare – one minute I was chilling in Physics with Naminé, bickering about Dr Ansem's hair colour (it _is_ the exact same shade as Naminé's, whatever she says) and the next second Zexion was all "Megan, something's wrong with Demyx" and Seifer was all "You can't leave that bunsen burner there! It'll burn this fucking whole place down!" and then I was in Xigbar's classroom, and as it turned out Demyx had just fainted. As terrifying as it was, all I had to do was check his breathing and his pulse and it was obvious that Dem would be okay. So we got him home (if I hadn't been so freaked out I would've taken the piss out of Xigbar carrying my brother bridal-style to a tram) and couldn't open his bedroom door (which was weird, because normally he leaves it open) so put him in Roxas's bed. Roxas himself was trying to be a little blonde me, which was kinda flattering, but we only needed one. So he was sent to school on Friday morning and told to pay attention to his own needs, (something I often have trouble with) and I tried to relax in the knowledge that Dem was just sleeping and Roxas was in the capable hands of Axel. Well, maybe capable was a little strong, but I trusted him to look after my little brother. Sort of. For a day, at least.

"_Is it still me that makes you sweat, am I who you –_" I pulled out my phone and flipped it open. Why did I let Naminé pick my ringtone for her? It's not that I don't like Panic!, but really, I don't need to hear Brendon Urie every time Nami wants a chat.

"Hey, Megan, is Demyx okay?" After all the late-night phone calls we'd shared when Naminé was in Hollow Bastion, we didn't really need the whole awkward "Hello" part of the conversation. We just started talking.

"Yeah, he's just asleep," I said, sneaking away from the door and leaning against the wall. "You should've seen Xigbar when he got here, he practically double-jumped up the stairs and barrel-rolled into Dem's room."

Nami giggled. She does that quite a lot. "If only all our teachers were like Xigbar. Xaldin's English class is bullshit, he actually gives us homework and if we don't do it we're in detention."

"Detention? For English? Say it ain't so!" Naminé laughed again and I smiled. Okay, so Nam was happy, Dem was asleep, Roxas was making dinner... what else needed taking care of?

"So, uh, I was talking to Luxord earlier..." Oh, good. He sounded nice. Okay.

"_And_?" I prompted, reaching down to pick at a scab on my knee.

"And, er, we're kind of... officially a thing now..."

If it is possible to squee quietly (so as not to wake Demyx) then that's what I did. "That's amazing, Naminé! Oh my God!" As soon as Dem was fairly well-rested I would get Naminé to come over and the two of them could have a squeeing session together as well. Roxas probably wouldn't care, but I'd tell him anyway. And Marluxia would probably kill me with flowers if I left him out of the squeeing.

"Oh, and guess what? Cloud actually likes him!"

The dramatic gasp I did wasn't really fake. Well, okay, it was a little exaggerated, but still. "Cloud _likes_ your boyfriend? Is the universe about to implode?"

"Well, Luxord put a lot of effort into winning him over. He's a charmer. _And_ he's thinking about coming here to see me! Eeee!"

"Oh, that's great! That means I can shove my fist down his throat if he isn't good enough for you!" I pushed away from the wall, trying to listen to Roxas's cooking, Demyx and Xigbar (although it did seem like Dem was asleep and Xigbar was just chilling with his pretty face) and Naminé's giggling all at the same time. It was more or less impossible. I needed to improve my multitasking skills.

I listened to Naminé gushing about Luxord for a while (well, half-listened) and then Roxas finished dinner and Xigbar went home and the three of us ate in Roxas's room because I refused to let Demyx out of bed.

Roxas was texting Axel. Demyx was texting Xigbar or Zexion or one of his fangirls or something. You know, just Dem being Dem and not realising that he was going to end up breaking everyone's heart. I had tossed my cellphone onto my bed because, well, _fuck everyone else_. I just wanted ten minutes where I could eat shepherd's pie and plan Naminé and Luxord's white wedding – because you can bet your bottom dollar that they'll be having a nice, cliché tux-and-dress Oh-my-God-do-I-really-_have_-to-come little ceremony where Cloud would probably sniffle a bit and blame it on a cold and someone would be thrown out in disgrace for being way too fucking drunk. Probably Axel, since I just couldn't picture an invitation with Seifer's name on it. Mind you, if the world was how I wanted it to be, Seifer wouldn't be invited to anything. But still.

"Megan, can I go back to my own room?" Demyx asked, sitting up. He was looking better now, worlds better, having slept far more than me and eaten more than anyone else could possibly even think of eating.

Eating. Food. Naminé. I should check on her. Cloud and her parents were never quite as good as me when it came to coaxing calories into the girl. But first, Demyx.

"I guess so. You look mostly okay now. If you start feeling dizzy or anything then lie the fuck down, and if you need anything, let me know, okay?"

"Or me." Roxas gave me a "You're-his-sister-not-his-mother" look that I ignored completely. "In fact, Megan'll be busy –"

"No, I won't." I got to my feet. "I'll be _fine_, Roxas. I just need to grab my phone."

Three missed calls from Marly. That can never be good.

"MeganMeganMegan, Vexen said –"

"Marluxia, calm down. How about a "Hello" or something? Or even just a breath in between words?"

To cut a very long story very short, Vexen was extremely uninterested in Marluxia. That, or he was playing an _extreme_ game of "hard to get". Marly was nearly _crying_. I talked him through the misery and then the anger and then the denial and then back to square one, eventually giving the fuck up at eleven o'clock.

I curled up and slipped my thumb into my mouth, closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

"_You're useless, Meggy, absolutely fucking useless. I thought you wanted to be good at this?"_

_It's not my fault. Please, please stop yelling at me._

"_Don't you care about me any more?"_

_I thought this was about me? I said I'd do this if..._

"_Stop crying, you pathetic little shit. You're five years old now, you can take care of yourself. I SAID STOP CRYING!"_

_Please, I'm not crying on purpose, I'm really not._

"_Right, that's it, no dinner tonight and no breakfast tomorrow. You've got to earn your food while you live here."_

_Don't hit me. You said you were gonna stop hitting me..._

"_STOP CRYING! None of the others are this pathetic! Just look at Jessica!"_

_Jessica's eight, she's practically a grown-up. And you don't hit her as often as you hit me._

"_Look at Riku! Riku doesn't cry when I hit him!"_

_Riku is a boy. They're stronger than girls._

"_Meggy, it's okay, it's okay, don't cry..."_

_Don't be nice to me, you just hit me._

"_Come on, Meggy, come and give me a cuddle."_

_I don't like cuddles with you because you always –_

"_I just told you to do something, Meggy."_

_Okay, okay, just don't hurt me, please, please, please..._

"MEGAN!"

He _never_ calls me "Megan", I thought, before waking up drenched in sweat and with deep bite marks on my thumb.

"D'you remember any of it?" Roxas asked softly, sitting down on my bed. I sucked in another mouthful of air. Please let Demyx be asleep. He can't see me like this.

"Not... not really. There were two other kids. Jessica and Riku. At least, I think so. I only heard their names. But..."

"Shh," he said, putting a single hand on my shoulder and pushing me back into my pillows. "Do you _want_ to remember?"

I shook my head slowly, staring at the ceiling. Of course I don't. If it makes me scream in the night, why would I need to remember?

"Okay. Then close your eyes and forget. Think about caramel instead of rain and... and a tree where eyeliner grows like branches and..."

Dammit Roxas, stop stealing things from me. I always used to paint a mental picture for Demyx when he couldn't sleep, a world where everything was so beautiful that you gasped when you stepped out of the door... Sadly, that didn't work on him any more. But it worked on me tonight, as Roxas's voice wrapped itself around me.

I thought the nightmares were starting to go away...

I guess I was wrong.

**Roxas**

I fell back into bed as soon as Megan looked fully asleep. At least it had been me she'd woken up this time. Sometimes Demyx heard her before I did, and whilst he was much better at getting her back to sleep, he was always terrified to see the indestructible Megan upset. Which is fair enough, because as Axel put it, "If someone _that_ tough can feel pain, the rest of us are more or less fucked."

I pulled the cover back over myself. If we were still going to Seifer's party tomorrow (and we probably would be) then I'd need a decent amount of sleep. I needed to be on my toes in case Megan and Naminé decided to take matters into their own hands.

This is going to sound so selfish, but it probably would've been easier if Demyx had heard Megan before I did. I have to talk her back to sleep, whereas all Demyx has to do is start singing and she drops off instantly. Megan and Demyx have voices on them like you wouldn't believe. Megan isn't musically inclined, but two lines of a song and the entire room will go quiet to listen. As for Demyx, his singing came more from practice than natural ability. His talent lay in instruments, especially the sitar, guitar and piano. But really, his voice is amazing. He tried to teach me to sing once, but I ended up getting bored (I was only eleven) and going to play Barbies instead. Wait, did I say Barbies? I meant... actually, fuck it. Yeah, I used to play with Barbies. They didn't belong to me, though – normally they were Demyx's, but occasionally someone with good intentions gave Megan a doll. Usually she would dismember them, colour in their faces with a black biro and use them and their limbs as ammo in her slingshot. As she got older, though, she just started giving them to Demyx instead. Something about the environment or something.

I drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours, checking my phone every time I woke up in case someone had texted me. The only people who would text me at midnight were a certain redheaded one, or a certain incredibly annoying blonde asking for Megan. Usually I told him she was asleep and to kindly go die in a damp hole, and he didn't text me back.

Eventually it reached six in the morning and I gave up on the idea of a good night's sleep. I could eat cereal and watch whatever I wanted on TV (we can't watch anything too grown-up with Demyx around, although to be honest I did really like Spongebob Squarepants) and later on I could try and find some decent jeans to wear to Seifer's party. Not that it mattered, because there was nobody there that I actually wanted to impress. Axel didn't count because, as I keep saying, I'M NOT GAY. I like _girls_ who wear _skirts_ and twirl their hair around their fingers when they're on the phone to someone they like. (Although Megan very rarely wears skirts and the only time I've ever seen her playing with her hair she was doing an impression of Naminé. But she's my older sister so she doesn't count for anything.) I dated Olette (granted, only for a week, when we were thirteen) and I'd had a crush on Yuffie (again, not for more than two weeks, and that was more because she saved my life than anything else) and I had never had a crush on a guy, ever, and I wasn't about to start now. Don't get me wrong, I was totally fine with guys who liked guys (you kind of have to be, living with Demyx) but I really wasn't one. Really.

"Hey, Roxas." Megan was smiling brightly. I wondered if she even remembered that she'd woken up screaming last night. It sure didn't seem like it, but fuck my life if that girl can't act. Had she eaten breakfast? It was seven. On a Saturday. Why was she up so early?

"Hey, Megan. Are you... okay?" I didn't want to remind her of the nightmares if she didn't remember – if she didn't want to remember – but I did want to make sure she was okay. She was, after all, my sister, and whether she liked it or not, _she needed looking after sometimes too_. She always forgot about that.

"I'm great, Roxas. How are you?"

Why must she always flip it round so that she's looking after me again?

"Megan, are you really –"

"I'm _fine_, Roxas, seriously," she laughed. She wouldn't look me in the eye. "You're the little one, remember? _I _worry about _you_." She sat down on the sofa. She still wasn't looking me in the eye. "A-anyway, why wouldn't I be – be okay?"

_You woke up screaming "Don't hurt me" for the seventh time this month_, I thought, but I bit my lip. Why was she stammering, and why wouldn't she look at me? Did she remember?

"Well, if you're sure... you know, you could always try talking to Naminé or Marluxia or –"

She cut me off again, her eyes still fixed on something nobody else could see. "I talk to them all the time. Nami's my best friend and Marly is –"

"You talk to them about _their_ problems." See, she's not the only one who can interrupt people. "Have you ever –"

"I don't have any problems apart from your paranoia," she smiled. It was one of the most forced smiles I've ever seen on that pale, tired face. "If I had something wrong, I'd go to Marluxia or Naminé, I promise. Or you, or Dem. I'm a big girl, Roxas, and I can take care of myself."

Why did she sound so bitter in that last sentence?

We sat in silence for a long time, watching nothing in particular on TV, Megan smiling thinly at things she would normally laugh at and closing her eyes tight at the sadder, deeper parts of whatever we were watching. It really was just a case of finding a show we didn't hate and forcing ourselves to enjoy it.

There was one show with a wedding in it. And it was just at the moment when everyone stood up for the bride and groom, and the piano started to play, and Megan dashed out of the room. What... what the _fuck_? I got up to follow her, but stopped when I heard her voice. She was on the phone. Was she okay? Who was she talking to...?

"No, it's just that... I don't know. I don't want to do this any more, Marluxia."

A pause. I don't think she was crying, but she was breathing too hard and her fingers were tapping on something.

"No, because – because they're more important than me. Well, because they're better than I am, for a start, and because they – no, Marluxia, I'm _not_ – no, no, no..."

I wished I could hear Marluxia's side of this conversation. Actually, you know what I really wished? That I could go out there and hug Megan and _let_ _her_ _cry_. I've never seen her cry. I've seen her screaming in terror, begging someone in a nightmare for forgiveness, ready to rip someone to shreds, and _sometimes_ happy. I had seen her content and I had seen her the complete opposite of that. But I've never seen her cry, and neither has Dem. In fact, I don't even know whether she has tear glands, or whatever it is that produces tears in the human body.

"Marluxia, _shut up_, okay, I only called because... no, because I needed someone to talk to! ...Shut up. Just shut up." I heard her take a deep, shuddering breath. "Look, it's just that, well... everything is too difficult and I can't..."

_Careful what you say to her, Marluxia. She's depending on you, and if you say the wrong thing I will hurt you._

"Okay. Okay, and then... right." She sounded calmer now. "Yeah. Nami's coming over today anyway, and then Seifer's party, so... yeah. Okay. Talk to you soon. Yeah, of course you do."

There was a small beep and then Megan stopped tapping whatever she was tapping. "Fuck," she muttered, most likely to herself.

"Roxas?" Demyx had just shuffled into the room. "You're not eavesdropping on Meg, are you? You know that won't end well."

"Erm..." I moved back in the direction of the sofa. "Don't tell her, okay?"

He grinned at me. "I'm not as stupid as you give me credit for, Roxas."

I didn't think he was stupid as such, I just thought he was kind of... ditzy. If he understood something (I'm looking at you, quadratic equations) then he really understood it, but if not, that was that.

"I'm back! Oh, Dem, you're awake." Megan ran her fingers through her hair. _Still_, she showed no signs of crying. I'm pretty sure that that isn't healthy. "Naminé's coming over in about ten minutes, so you might wanna stick a shirt on."

Demyx doesn't seem to notice that most people wear clothes _all the time_. At least he's stopped answering the door in just his boxers now. I can think of a few people who shouldn't be handed chances like that, if you know what I mean. (Zexion, in other words. I don't trust him. He reads Twilight.) Still, he was clever enough to know that if Megan told him to put clothes on, he really should put clothes on, so he left the room, whistling something by Fall Out Boy as he went. (Fall Out Boy is one of the few bands that both Megan and I actually really like. Normally she's into the much heavier stuff, while I prefer upbeat, catchy, and annoying as hell when stuck in your head. Demyx will listen to anything except "Wherever you will go" by The Calling, but we all knew the reason for that particular phobia and didn't try to force it.)

"Megan, are you _sure _that you're –"

"_Yes_, Roxas. Promise." She sure as hell didn't look okay. But nobody could say that I hadn't tried, and Marluxia did actually seem... capable? Huh. "Now, can you do me a favour?"

"Depends on what it is," I said, reclining further into the sofa. I was starting to feel really sleepy now.

"Whatever happens today is forgiven tomorrow. Okay?" Wait, what? "I'm gonna go wait outside for Naminé. Remember, _whatever happens_, you have to forgive me. I'm your big sister. Okay?"

I started panicking. "Megan, what the hell are you planning?"

She grinned at me in the same way she'd grinned at Demyx's last ex boyfriend before lunging at him and breaking several of his bones. "You'll see. And you'll forgive me... even if you hate me for a little while first."

"Megan, what –" But she was gone, standing alone on the doorstep to wait for Nami.

I took some deep breaths and got my cell phone out of my pocket. I didn't expect Axel to be awake – it was, after all, only ten in the morning – but I was secretly hoping for a "Good morning" from him. That's probably really sad, isn't it?

I didn't even get that. Instead I got _another_ text from Seifer, asking after my sister, and a reminder from T-Mobile to top up by the end of the month for free texts. I deleted both and placed my phone down next to me. Whatever Megan was going to do, it had better involve a place where I could have a nap. I didn't mind calming her down in the middle of the night – clearly she needed it – but I would've liked some more sleep afterwards.

I tipped my head back and listened to the frantic squealing that announced Naminé's arrival. Megan isn't usually big on squealing, so something had probably happened with that guy Nami liked. What was his name again? And why did I bother pretending to care?

Don't get me wrong. I liked Naminé. And anyone who could make my big sister smile was a hero. But she was so... teenage-girlish. It did my head in.

God, did they have to be so _loud_? Megan had woken up screaming last night. Where was she getting her energy from?

"Oh, Roxas!" The two of them tumbled through the door, the wind slamming it shut behind them. "You still wanna go to Seifer's party tonight?"

"Yeah," I said uneasily. It was one thing when Megan was grinning evilly, but when Naminé joined in you should run for the motherfucking hills. "What are you two planning?"

Megan strolled over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Roxas, we have decided to take fate into our own hands."

"The universe has delivered you a beautiful boy that you have quite clearly fallen in love with," Naminé intoned, as if reading an ancient scroll or something. "Megan and I are going to take the chance that you were afraid to take."

"You two are scaring me." I was tough, sure, but I was no match for Megan. "What're you..."

"Just relax, Roxas, just relax." From behind Megan, Naminé started giggling. There was a sharp pressure on my left shoulder, presumably from Megan's hand, and then everything went black.

xxx

Minor cliffhanger, because I want you all to hate me and REVIEW about how much you hate me.

Again, I need to thank all the lovely reviewers for being so lovely. You guys are the reason I keep writing, keep updating and keep smiling. Special thanks to the regular reviewers (you know who you are) and Death By Nutella, who is the best beta a Unicorn could ask for. (Especially a Unicorn of the death variety, such as myself.)

You'd better review, or I'll mysteriously forget to update for another three months. Lol jk, I'm not that kind of author. As long as there is one person out there who wants me to keep up with the story, I will.


	12. Chapter 12

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Naminé**

"So then Marluxia apparently told him to get screwed by a turtle and flounced out of the room." I watched Megan's hand as it swept the blusher across her still-unconscious brother's face. "But I assume he told you something completely different?"

She laughed. "Fuck, yeah. He was in near hysterics last night. He definitely flounced out of the room, because Demyx says Xigbar saw him –"

"What's going on with Xigbar and Demyx now?" I asked. Megan and I talk over each other so much it's untrue. We just _know_ how the other person's sentence is going to end, so we don't have to wait for the last few words.

"Well, the day he collapsed, Xigbar nearly collapsed too, he was so worried." I squeaked. Megan continued applying make-up to her poor little brother. "Then he was all "I wanna stay with him" but I was all "No, you have a fucking job" and then he was all "Well can I at least visit him when he wakes up?" And Demyx wakes up on Friday afternoon and Xigbar rushes here so fast you wouldn't believe, nearly has a nervous breakdown at Demyx's bedside, and then when Dem falls back to sleep he just sits there..."

"And watches? Aawwww!" I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep from squeeing too loud. "That's so _sweet_!"

"By the way, d'you know if Zexion is going to be there tonight? I want to try and tug him away from Demyx, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, but I like Zexion!" I protested. "He reads Twilight and everything!"

Megan looked like she was struggling not to turn around and strangle me. I was used to it by now. "Naminé, I know how pretty Edward Cullen is, but Twilight isn't even... ugh. I'm never going to win this argument, am I?"

"Nope!" I giggled. "Anyway, do you want to see the texts Luxord sent me?"

"Shit, yeah!" She dropped the eyeliner back into her make-up bag. "Do me a favour and go get my black jeans?"

"For you or for him?" I asked, pointing to the sleeping boy. Megan had already taken my cell phone out of my bag and was reading frantically.

"Him, of course. They should fit." She grinned down at the screen. "Aawww!"

"I know, right?" I_ couldn't stop smiling_. Of course, there was always a slight danger that, if left alone with my cell phone, Megan might call Luxord and start chewing him out, but I trusted her. Anyway, he already knew about Megan. He _probably_ wouldn't be frightened... and if he was, well, he'd be extremely nice to me.

I ran to Megan's room and picked out the black jeans. They'd be a little tight on Roxas, but that's what we were going for. I couldn't help but glance in her mirror...

_No. Luxord says you're beautiful. Megan says you are. Demyx said he liked your hair and Marluxia told you that you should be a model. You are fine. Calm down._

"Thank you, m'dear." She took the jeans and turned back towards her brother. "Right. I'm assuming you don't want to strip him?"

He was an absolute hottie, but stripping him in his sleep? Er, no, thank you. I'm not Axel. (You should hear some of the things he's said about Roxas. It's almost scary.)

"Okay. You go and have something to eat – _don't_ look at me like that, even if it's just a cornflake, I want to know that you're eating – and I'll get him dressed. Dem's let us borrow his grey jacket –"

"The one with the black buttons? I _love_ that one!" Megan smirked at me. "What?"

"So how often do you examine what my older brother is wearing?" I squeaked and grabbed a pillow, flinging it at her head. "Okay, okay, don't kill me!"

I just tutted and flounced, Marluxia-style, from the room, even mimicking his little hair-flick, to Meg's kitchen. Because she and her brothers were alone a lot of the time, they had free rein over what they ate – well, they tried not to let Dem have sugar right before bed, because that _always _ended badly – so the cupboards were normally filled with Oreos, the fridge stuffed with orange juice and the freezer with ice cream. (Roxas has this thing about sea-salt ice cream, so there's a whole draw full of that, and then various normal ice creams for Megan and Demyx.) Ever since she found out about my eating disorder, Megan's been buying more low-fat yoghurts and fruit, anything she thought I would willingly eat just so I was eating. In truth, the only thing I eat without regretting it is Oreos, because I associate them with Megan and Demyx and Roxas. Weird, right?

I ate two Oreos, which was like a hundred calories give or take a few, unless of course... _Stop counting calories, Naminé._ Then I made myself a mug of hot water, because cold water hurts my teeth, after checking the cupboards and noticing the lack of coffee in them.

"Why don't you guys have any coffee?" I asked, sitting back down with my mug and watching Megan trying to get Roxas's shirt off him. "Like, ever?"

Megan laughed, giving her brother's shirt a violent, frustrated tug and ending up staggering backwards into a wall. "You should _see_ my brothers on caffeine. It's funny as shit. Roxas becomes really quite friendly and Demyx will believe, like, anything you tell him."

"Oh." I looked down into my mug. "Luxord's not great with caffeine either. He can hold alcohol like a boss, but caffeine..."

Megan grinned. "Every conversation turns back towards Luxord, doesn't it?"

I felt myself blush as Megan started cramming a cheap cotton T-shirt onto her brother. (Yes, I am perfectly aware that normally one crams oneself _into_ clothing, rather than cramming clothing _onto _oneself, but what Megan was doing could only been described as cramming it on. Oh, don't expect me to make sense. I've had three hundred calories in the past two days. My brain isn't working.)

Megan interrupted my internal monologue by tutting. "His hair. What're we doing with it?"

"Shave it all off and glue it to his crotch." Wait, where did that come from? Clearly I had been spending too much time talking to Megan, and maybe Cloud. He sometimes does stuff like that to his friends. Which may be why he now has very few friends.

Megan laughed. "Maybe _after_ we've set him up with Axel. In the meantime..."

"I've got spray, we could just spike it up a little more..."

Megan looked like she was in her element now, interfering in other people's lives with no real reason. I decided it was safe to take out my phone and start texting Luxord again without –

"Naminé, you'd better not be texting that bloke of yours without consulting me..."

Well, shit.

I looked down at my phone again, counting the number of kisses on the end of Luxord's last text because I'm sad like that.

"Do you think we should teach him how to use these?" I looked up to see Megan looking thoughtfully at a green and blue box in her left hand. Were those...

"Megan, are those _condoms_?" I whispered. She grinned at me, slipping the box into Roxas's pocket. "You can't..."

"I doubt he'll actually _use_ them, but better safe than sorry. After all, safe sex is happy sex!"

I giggled in spite of myself, remembering the Health Ed lesson in which we had been given smiley face stickers and Rai had puked after the video of a woman giving birth. Oh, and Seifer kept wiggling his eyebrows at Megan until she threw a box of out-of-date condoms at him and ended up in detention. The nurse just would not stop saying "Safe sex is happy sex!" It became one of our catchphrases, along with "Beware the deodorant stick" (long story) and "Oh shit, it's Gary!" (even longer, probably M-rated story that I regret ever being a part of). The only thing we got out of that lesson was pulled stomach muscles from giggling.

"And of course..." She held up a small white bottle just long enough for me to realise what it was and then slid it into her brother's pocket. "Don't look at me like that, he might need it and –"

"You can't put fucking lube in your brother's fucking pocket!" She just looked at me. What in the fuck was she even thinking? "Megan!"

She grinned. "You're such a little prude, Nami. He'll be grateful to us eventually. Just relax, okay? Or else I'll tell Cloud about that time you and Rai –"

"That was purely accidental!" I cut across her, not for the first time. "And anyway, you said that you wouldn't tell Cloud that if I didn't tell your brothers about Seifer's –"

"_Fuck off,_" snarled Megan, pulling Roxas into a sitting position and adjusting his hair slightly. "There. Does he look all right, do we think?"

"Axel will be pleased," I said with a smile. Megan grinned at me and then, before either of us could stop it, "Oh shit, it's Gary!"

It might seem weird to you, but things like that make me so happy, even if it's just for two minutes at a time. Sometimes, it feels like Megan's the one constantly humouring me. Even if she _is_ the one who's obsessed with fire.

When we had finished laughing hysterically, Megan leaned her head on my shoulder. "Oh, Nami, you bring out the best in me."

"Same to you, Meggy." More laughter, an attempt to kill me, you know how it is. "Hey, remember when we were talking about who we would and wouldn't date –"

"And I told you I'd never date a gambler?" Megan smirked at me.

"And I told _you_ that I'd never date someone on the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee –"

"Me and Seifer were never technically dating, and if it weren't for... what happened..." I giggled and she scowled, "then you and I would both be in jail right about now."

"Oh, yeah, because of that thing that we... yeah." I nodded, remembering... Of course, Megan made me swear never to tell anyone, ever, so I couldn't really go around telling everyone what an amazing... vacation, I guess you could call it – that we'd had.

"And anyway, you can shut up. How many times have I saved your ass from various teachers you haven't done homework for?" Megan was right, of course. There was always the fact that _I_ had to bail _her_ out all the fucking time, but it wouldn't be fair to mention that because she was too busy looking after her brothers to actually do homework. Also she didn't give a crap.

"Wha-what's going on? Where'm I?" Roxas rolled his shoulders. "Why do my shoulders hurt?"

Megan and I were too busy laughing at the newly-conscious blonde to explain anything to him.

**Roxas**

It would have been very easy to hate Megan and Naminé. They knocked me unconscious and forcibly applied make-up to my face. But you know what? The look Axel gave me when I walked into Seifer's house made me almost want to forgive them.

Almost.

He didn't come straight over to me like he usually would. He kind of gaped for a while, realised he was staring, blushed almost the same colour as his hair, and turned towards Zexion to engage in awkward small talk so he wouldn't have to look at me. I knew I looked decent. Megan and Naminé kept telling me that I looked amazing and that I was bound to "get the guy" – which was _stupid_, because although nobody else seems to be listening when I say it, _I am straight_.

Demyx, on the other hand, was still very very gay, as proven when he went pink at the sight of Zexion and attempted to hide behind Megan.

I'd been there for about five minutes, sort of sulking to myself about how pissed I was with my sister, when Axel snuck over to me, grinning like an idiot. He'd probably had a fair bit to drink already.

Megan and Naminé had told me not to smile, just to look sexy and maybe pout a bit, to try and make my voice deeper and to talk as little as possible. The problem was that if I accepted their advice then it would look like I'd forgiven them, but... I really wanted to try it out. I mean, I didn't like Axel like that... but... Ah, fuck it. Maybe I did have a little crush on him... just a lickle one... And anyway, as a teenage boy full of hormones, I was allowed to crush on whomever I wanted.

"You look _great_, Roxas." Axel took a step closer to me, effectively destroying my personal bubble. Yep, he was pretty drunk. "Seriously."

"Uh, thanks, Axel. You look great too."

Before I knew what was happening I had been pushed against a wall and Axel was looking down at me as though he were about to tell me the meaning of life, his hands squeezing my shoulders a little too hard. "Roxas, I don't think you understand. You look _fantastic_."

How was I supposed to respond to that? I opened my mouth, shut it again, and then decided to speak. "Axel, that's nice of you and everything, but..."

"No, Roxas, this is super important." He shook me a little. "You look so good..."

"Well, uh, thanks. I'll just... go find... Hayner..." I ducked out of Axel's grip and shot out of the room, catching sight of Megan and Demyx out of the corner of my eye. If they were going to talk to Axel, I would kill them, Megan especially.

I found Olette in the kitchen. She'd be a pretty decent distraction from the drunken pyro waiting for me in the other room. The thing about Olette is that she's dated everyone who'll take her at least once, and the second she finds a new guy she neglects all her other friends for weeks, until they inevitably break up and she has to come crawling back to Hayner, Pence and I. And for some reason, we always take her back. Possibly because Hayner wants to get in her pants and he's the unofficial leader.

"Hey, Roxas!" It wasn't awkward, exactly. It just wasn't enjoyable, talking to her when I knew I could be with Axel instead. That's probably really awful, isn't it? "We haven't had a proper chat in _ages_. You've gotta tell me everything about Axel! What's his favourite colour? His favourite band? What do his parents –"

"Olette," I cut across her, "I don't want to talk about Axel. My sister keeps insisting I have a crush on him, but I really don't, and..."

There was a moment in which it looked like Olette was going to give me some actual advice for a change, but of course this is my life we're talking about, and I'm not that lucky. Hayner strode through the door, followed by a slightly nervous-looking Pence (parties were never his strong point) and holding a can of beer. He sauntered over to me, coming very close to Axel in terms of cockiness, and clapped me on the back.

"Roxas! We, my brother, need to talk." Clearly the beer can in his hand was not his first. "What's this I hear about you spending all your time with the new guy instead of with us?"

Pence and Olette were both avoiding my gaze. Was there some sort of Roxas hate club going on behind my back?

"Oh, yeah, Axel. Listen, guys, I know I maybe haven't been paying enough attention to you, but..."

"It's not so much that, Roxas. We're big kids, we can take care of ourselves." Well, what was it, then? "It's just... people are talking. They think that you and Axel are, erm, bum buddies."

I opened my mouth to protest, but halfway through the process of deciding what to say, I got pissed. If that even makes sense. "What's that even meant to mean? Would it be such a bad thing if we _were_?"

"Well, you don't want everyone thinking you're gay, do you?" Olette and Pence were still staring at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but me and Hayner and the space between us, which was nearly crackling.

"Would it be a problem if I were gay?" Hayner just laughed. I tensed. I was going to lose it soon. "Demyx is gay, and nobody gives him any shit for it."

"Well, yeah, but that's because Demyx is..." Hayner looked to Pence and Olette for support, but they both looked as uncomfortable as fuck.

I took a step closer to Hayner. I could take him in a fight. My main worry was that Megan would get involved and it would get out of hand. "Demyx is _what_?" I asked quietly, my fists curling beside me. If there's one thing I've learnt from Megan, it's that sometimes being very quiet is more threatening than yelling.

"Demyx is a retard, Roxas. I know you and your sister think the world of him, but –"

Then I picked up a chair, and to be honest, I don't remember much after that.

**Demyx**

There were so. Many. People.

I couldn't think or breathe or move. I was surrounded by people and noise and... ugh. I just... ugh.

Maybe I should mention that I don't deal well with crowds. Supermarkets, football games, parties, anything involving large amounts of people _terrified_ me. So why in the world did I decide to come to Seifer's party? I probably had a reason... at some point... maybe...

I fought my way over to a quiet corner, wishing I could find Megan or Roxas or _someone_, and took out my cellphone. I had kind of spend all my credit texting Xigbar this morning, and I'd had to tell him I wouldn't be able to text him until Monday when I got more put on there. He was still texting me, though. Mostly lame knock knock jokes to make me smile.

Out of the blue I remembered what Zexion had said about my smile, back in History class. I really didn't want to associate Xigbar with Zexion at all. I was sort of confused. On the one hand, Zexion was my age (well, two months younger than me, but you know) and everything about him was gorgeous and mysterious and... Moving on. Then there was Xigbar, who was older than me by a lot. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not stupid, and I knew that the age gap was pretty significant. But he was so funny, and sweet, and he had the nicest hair EVER. Seriously, his hair was the softest hair I'd ever seen.

I've been told that everyone has one true love and only one, but I was genuinely in love with both of them.

"Demyx, are you okay?" I looked up to see Zexion standing next to me. "You look kind of... upset."

"I'm just stressed, I guess. I'm not good with crowds."

Zexion sighed. "I know exactly what you mean. I don't even like parties."

"Why are you here then?" I realised what I'd just said. "I-I mean, I'm really glad that you're here, and if you –"

"I'm here," said Zexion, with the air of someone who was trying to save me from my own enormous mouth, "because I knew you would be here, and I really wanted to see you."

Oh.

There was the longest second in the world, when he just looked at me and I just looked at him, and all the air in my lungs seemed to have taken up residence somewhere else, and the noise of the party faded away and it was like we were alone together. _Exactly _like the other day when I'd curled up on Xigbar's lap in English and sort-of fallen asleep. See my problem? I seriously was in love with both of them at the same time.

I couldn't imagine either of them taking that news too well, though.

"You want to go up to the roof?" he asked. And then guess what?

He held out his hand to me.

And I took it.

And I was still thinking about him and Xigbar. And I felt so guilty, like I was cheating on them, even though I wasn't technically dating anyone.

We passed Megan on the way up the stairs. She didn't see us. She probably didn't see anyone. She was in a corner of her own, her knees pulled up and her chin resting on top of them, and her eyes glazed over. I think she had a nightmare the night before, but Roxas never told me because he didn't want me to be upset, and Megan never told anyone. Possibly because she didn't want to admit that she had a few weaker spots. Someone, maybe Naminé, sent her an email that I read over her shoulder when she wasn't looking. _You're beautiful, but you're broken. And I accept that. You're a cracked diamond, so perfect and pure but hurt by outside forces you can't control. You mustn't let the cracks get any wider, or they'll split you in half and I'll __really__ lose you. I couldn't handle that._

Sweet, huh?

When we got to the roof I gasped. The sky had been sucked of colour completely since we had arrived, and was now the very blackest of blacks. Laid on top of it – or underneath, maybe, considering how you looked at it – glitter had been spilt, or someone had dropped their jewellery box, and now there were gorgeous silver fragments splayed across the sky. The moon was so bright and so white, a thin, thin line amongst the stars. The air was clean and the breeze was sharp, and I had to suppress a shudder, not wanting to seem like I was soft in front of Zexion.

"It's beautiful up here," I whispered, trying to ignore my cellphone vibrating in my pocket.

"Yeah, it is." Zexion still had a hold of my hand. I really hoped he couldn't feel my heart vibrating in my palm. "But I can think of something more beautiful..."

"What?" What could ever be more beautiful than this amazing night sky? With me and Zexion standing so close to each other?

"Oh, come on, Demyx, don't pretend you don't know." I tore my gaze from the moon and gave him a questioning look. "I'm talking about _you_."

Oh.

"Uh... I... uh..." What was I supposed to _say_? I turned on the spot to properly face him, my mind working at half speed. "Zexion..."

"Shh." He leaned forwards, taking hold of my free hand. "If you want me to stop, just say so."

Even if I had wanted him to stop, I couldn't, because the entire universe froze around us. The breeze disappeared, the noise from the party below us was silenced, and my heart just didn't seem to beat. All that was there was me, and Zexion, and the space in between us... and then even that space was gone.

He kissed me.

His lips were so soft and he smelled like some Italian cologne. His hands fell away from mine and rose up to my waist, pulling me closer. I put my hands on his shoulders and when his tongue touched my lips I opened them.

And then my cellphone vibrated again and I suddenly remembered Xigbar, and all the guilt hit me like a van hits a brick wall.

"Um..." I pulled away, feeling myself blush against the breeze. "I... I should probably... I should probably..."

"It's okay." Was that a _smile_? I had never seen Zexion smile except when he was talking to me. "Just so you know, that was the best kiss of my life."

"Me... me too."

A really annoying part of my brain added _But only because I've never kissed Xigbar_.

But I loved Zexion _as well_. God, but I was confused.

The text from Xigbar, which I read as I escaped back into Seifer's crowded living room, said: _Just casually listening to "Crash" by You Me At Six because I'm cool like that. Have you ever listened to it? It kinda reminds me of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Yeah, I had heard that song. Megan liked You Me At Six almost as much as Naminé liked Panic! At The Disco, which meant that I accidentally knew every word to every song by them ever at all ever.

I decided not to think too much about Xigbar while I was here. It was only going to fill me with angst. And angst only looked good on people like Megan and Roxas.

"Hey, Demyx!" I turned to see Pence waving me over. "Listen. If you see your brother, could you tell him that Hayner is really really sorry for what he said?"

Olette, standing beside him, nodded vigorously. She seemed like a nice girl. I think she dated Roxas for a little while, before moving onto... Rai? That sounded about right. "Yeah, Hayner's realised how out of line he was and he's very sorry for it."

I looked around. "Where exactly is Hayner at the moment?" I asked. Olette laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. Pence looked at the floor.

It took me a moment, but I cottoned on. "So Hayner annoyed Roxas, and now he's nowhere to be found. Hmm... maybe I should go find Rox, then. Or tell Megan to."

Pence laughed, sounding mildly terrified. "I'm... I'm not sure that it would be a good idea to... to get Megan... involved." I took that to mean "Please, for the love of all that is good, do not let your sister find out what Hayner said to Roxas, because she will hurt him very, very badly for it."

I nodded. "Okay, I'll go find him."

I worked my way through the front room, the kitchen and the hall, but all I got was Larxene telling me that "I saw that Hayner kid come through here with his nose bleeding. Now, will you do me a favour and fuck off?"

To which I responded, "I'll do that if you do me a favour. Go and flirt with Axel. Maybe Roxas will get jealous enough to admit how he feels."

Larxene considered this for a moment, tilting her head to the side. "Fine. But only because he's so off his face that he won't remember any of this tomorrow."

Before I could think about what she meant (because to be honest I _never_ know what teenage girls are wittering on about) my cellphone vibrated. Larxene got to her feet and somehow, surprisingly easily considering the heels she was wearing, crossed the room and approached Axel as I read the latest text from Xigbar. _I hate weekends. I don't get to see you. And we've got this boring-ass staff meeting tomorrow and I always arrive late so there's no coffee left. Wish I was with you instead :'( xxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Aww. I mean, uh, I so totally don't care. Because there is clearly something going on between me and Zexion now, so I couldn't get butterflies when Xigbar texted me.

Although the butterflies I got when Zexion talked to me or looked at me were pretty terrible too.

Gaah, this was so _confusing_. I struggled over to a chair and threw myself into it, re-reading all my old texts so I wouldn't look lonely. Most of them were from Xigbar, a few from Megan and Roxas, and every now and then there was one from Zexion. I still didn't like the whole party thing. I'd only come to talk to Zexion, and I had done that now (tehe) so could I leave?

"Hey Demyx," giggled some girls with their arms all over each other. For some reason girls seem to really like me. It's weird because they know I like guys. "Uh, d'you wanna come and play Strip Truth Or Dare in the other room?"

"Strip Truth Or Dare?" I asked, pushing my phone back into the pocket of my skinny jeans. "What's that?"

The one with pinkish hair smiled sweetly. "It's like normal Truth Or Dare, but every time you refuse a Truth or a Dare, you have to take off one item of clothing. Come _on_, it'll be fun."

I sighed and got to my feet. I had nothing better to do, and hopefully it would be less crowded in the other room. Maybe I'd even find out about what Hayner said to Roxas.

My cellphone vibrated again. As much as I wanted to focus on Zexion tonight, I couldn't deny that this was the best one-sided conversation I'd ever had. If I had any phone credit left, I'd tell Xigbar just how much he was making me smile.

xxx

...Oh...my...fuck...

I LOVE ALL OF YOU. I've had so many lovely reviews :') Imsunara and Xantaxa and IllMaryZemyx and P5hng-Me-A'Wy, you guys are AMAZING and I love you big much, and everyone else who's still reading this fanfic even though it's not brilliant. I've got pretty much all of it planned out and I warn you now, you will probably all hate me at the end.

Which is why I MIGHT write a sequel.

D'you want me to write a sequel? Because if you don't, or if you simply don't mention it, I won't bother. The Review button is there for a reason, blokes and blokettes!


	13. Chapter 13

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

Some idiot invited my older brother to play Strip Truth Or Dare.

Everyone in the world knows how shitty Demyx is when it comes to Truth Or Dare. He can't lie to save his life, and he refuses most things he's dared to do because, well, he lacks balls. (Figuratively speaking, of course.) So my guess is that whoever invited him to play wanted him naked, as quickly as possible. Probably some pathetic giggly teenage girls, or Zexion, who could be counted as a pathetic teenage girl (although not giggly in any way, shape or form.) I couldn't exactly explain that to Demyx, though, so I just followed him into the other room and kept an eye on him, and of course that involved playing Strip Truth Or Dare myself, along with Axel, Roxas, Larxene, Seifer, most of Demyx's fangirls, and inevitably Zexion. Maybe I could accidentally stab Zexion when no one was looking. I'm sure Xigbar would thank me.

"Oh, _hey_, Megan." I scowled at Seifer for half a moment before turning back towards Demyx, who'd picked up a can of beer.

"You can't drink that, Dem," I told him, swiping it from his hands and putting it back down on the table.

He blinked at me, his oceanic eyes widening. "Why not?"

"You're... allergic. Don't you remember when you were eleven, you had some of this and you came out in a horrible rash?" I lied fluidly, my eyes flicking to Roxas who was nodding like he'd been there at the time. Demyx seemed satisfied by this explanation and nodded, taking out his cellphone. I knew he had no credit left on it. I would have to help him top it up on Sunday night, since he _still_ couldn't do it by himself. I love Dem to pieces, but sometimes I wish he could just become slightly more... seventeen years old. Jumping to his defence all the time, I could do. Calming him down when he was having a terrible day, I could do. Everyday tasks that most people figure out for themselves at the age of twelve? That one was wearing a little thin.

"Megan! Truth Or Dare?"

I considered this for a moment. Seifer, Roxas and Larxene were all focused on me. Nobody else really seemed to care. "Truth."

Seifer paused for a split second. "What's your greatest fear?"

Shit. Way to ask me something I really didn't know the answer to.

Still, I couldn't put myself at a disadvantage this early in the game, so I had to come up with something. "Probably losing the people I care about." I looked down at the mark on the back of my hand. I'd always had it. Naminé thinks it's from my childhood, before I can remember. She's probably right. "That, or losing control and... and hurting people... people I love."

There was a small silence, tentative to say the least, and then Larxene spoke too. "Me too... except there's only one person I really care about."

"Hey Demyx, Truth Or Dare?" asked one of the airheaded girls who'd been too busy drooling over him to notice my and Larxene's dual confession, or even the glare that Zexion was giving them all.

"Dare." I groaned inwardly and exchanged a pained look with Roxas.

"We dare you to..." They leaned into each other, all five of them practically thinking as one, and began whispering. "All right. We dare you to kiss Zexion."

"Cheek kissing or on the lips?" asked Demyx.

I sighed. "Are we all fucking eleven again or something? Did I miss some sort of retarded memo?" Seifer snickered. "And you can shut up, you cunt. Nobody likes that stupid beanie hat of yours."

I heard another male chuckle, possibly Axel, but I was too busy wondering why the _fuck_ everyone else was so _fucking_ stupid. Fuck.

At this point, Naminé would ask me whether my period was due any time soon, and Marluxia would tell me to take deep breaths and count to ten. Unfortunately, neither of them were here, so I just sat quietly and hated everyone.

I was dimly aware that Demyx had leaned over and pecked Zexion on the lips, and now all the fangirls were squeeing more than I had ever thought possible. Seriously, why did they even care? Why couldn't they see what a cunt Zexion was? Why was everyone so stupid?

"Roxas, Truth Or Dare?"

I looked over at Axel and Roxas. Axel had clearly had more than a little to drink and kept trying to grope Roxas, who didn't seem to hate it quite as much as he wanted to. Roxas had his head cocked to one side, weighing up his chances.

"I guess...Truth?"

There was a long silence as we all wondered what sadistic questions we could ask Roxas. And then it hit me.

"Roxas, how many girls have you ever liked in your life? And how many _guys_?"

His mouth hung open. Axel giggled – how much _had_ he drunk? – and tried to rope an arm around Rox's waist, but got rejected again. Had the two of them had a fight or something? It sure as hell looked like it. Ah, well, that was healthy. They'd be all over each other before we went home, just you wait. I know my shit.

"Uh... I..." There was a painful pause. Then Roxas pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. We all knew what that meant. At this point, even Roxas had to know that he wasn't fooling anyone, and that in fact the only reason he kept up his little façade of being straight was because he wasn't ready to admit to himself that in fact, he was gay.

Axel probably didn't have a clue what was going on. He was so out of it by now, an empty beer bottle clutched in his right hand like it was all he had, that he was probably having trouble understanding plain English. He was staring at Roxas's abs – if you could call them that, _I _was more toned than that skinny bitch – with a scarily predatory look on his face that made me want to beat him to death with Seifer's stupid-ass beanie hat. Still, if I was going to put a fuckton of effort into making my brother look pretty, I was going to have to accept the consequences.

"Larxene, Truth Or Dare?"

"Dare." _Larxene_, I thought, _you don't need to prove to us that you've got balls. We can tell just from the moustache._

There was a long silence as we tried to think what could possibly challenge Larxene. Then Roxas, probably pissed off at all of us for taking his shirt and forcing him to sidle closer to the exit of the closet, piped up. "Dare you to get a tattoo. Megan will do the honours, right, Megan?"

"I don't have my kit with me," I told him, spreading my hands out in the typical "Fuck off, I can't help you" gesture.

"Can it be a tattoo of anything?" Seifer asked, moving to one of his cupboards. If he started drinking I was going to insert my size 6 combat boot into his crotch with more force than is required to launch a Gummi ship. But actually, what he took out of the cupboard was worse than alcohol.

It was my bag.

"What the..." I took a step forwards. "That's my bag, you fuck-up!"

"I know what it is, Megan." I scowled at him. I didn't care that the fangirls were gossiping to each other. I didn't care that Demyx was looking at me like he was scared I was gonna commit homicide. I just wanted to commit some goddamn homicide. "You left it behind on Thursday when Zexion came into Physics and told you your brother had collapsed. You didn't come into school yesterday so I figured I'd keep it with me until I next saw you. It's pretty interesting, actually. Your notebook especially..."

"GIVE THAT BACK, YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT!" I screamed, launching myself at him and snatching the bag out of his hands. He couldn't have read my notebook... no decent person would read that... although you couldn't call Seifer a decent person. But still...

"Megan? Are you okay?" Demyx asked, crossing the room to put a hand on my arm and guide me back to where I had been standing before. "You seem really stressed out at the moment."

"You don't fucking say!" As soon as the words left my mouth I felt awful. It was so much easier to yell at Seifer or Roxas or Dad. Dem doesn't know how to argue back, and he takes everything you say to heart. I covered my face with my hands. "Look, I'm sorry. I just... ugh."

"It's okay, Megs." Sometimes I can't even be angry with Dem for getting my name wrong. He put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. "You gonna do Larxene a tattoo?"

I looked at her. She said nothing, just took off her jacket and draped it over the nearest chair. I couldn't tell whether it was a case of cutting me some slack or whether she really didn't want a tattoo. Either way, I was grateful. My hands were shaking, and the last thing I wanted to do was fuck up someone else's skin permanently. I'm not that bad.

"Axel, Truth Or Dare." I just wanted to keep the attention off me. The last thing I wanted was people pitying me.

"Uhh... I wan'... I wan' a Dare. A Dare 'bout Roxie." Roxas possibly took pity on him and his drunkenness, because he didn't hit Axel, just glared at him.

"Okay..." The fangirls pulled Larxene over, and to my surprise she didn't protest, and they began plotting against my little brother. I couldn't bring myself to object, nor to walk over and start meddling myself. Eventually they all withdrew. "We dare you to tell Roxas exactly what you think of him."

Oh dear lord of fuck. Alcohol, of course, tends to make people far more honest, and I doubt Axel would want to surrender his clothing so early on in the evening. I wondered whether Demyx would need temporary distraction for the next two minutes or so, but as it turned out, someone had already beaten me to it because he'd just taken his cellphone out and was talking to someone. I'll bet you anything that it was Xigbar.

"Roxie... you... you're so gorgeous an'... you're always in ma dreams an' I want to fuck you and marry you and ev'rythin', and I love your eyes and hair and abs and if I could just kiss you once I would be happy for the rest of my life. I... I wan' you..."

I cleared my throat. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear this, to be perfectly honest. This was my lickle brother, the same kid I had to tuck in every night for four years and whose sheets I had to wash when he was seven and wet the bed. I didn't need to know about Axel's wet dreams concerning him.

"Uhh... Axel, mate, I'm sorry, but..." I looked over at Demyx, who was muttering at high speed into his cellphone, smiling slightly. Yup, definitely Xigbar. Zexion wasn't all that happy, but he said nothing, which earned him exactly 0.001 brownie points in my book. "I don't... I don't think I..."

"Don' you tell me you're straight, you silly muffin." Okay, Axel was NEVER having alcohol EVER again. Calling a Roxas a "silly muffin" was basically suicide. "You ain't straight. You only ever had one girlfriend, and she don' count cuz you were both so young. You're gay, and you're a sexy li'l gay too. How 'bout we head upstairs?"

Roxas opened his mouth to start yelling at Axel. He didn't even form a whole word before Axel scooped him up, tossed him over his shoulder and took him out of the room, walking in a surprisingly straight line.

"Well, that was certainly... interesting," said Larxene, as Demyx hung up on Xigbar (because, let's face it, who the fuck else would it be?) and rejoined the rest of us on Planet Earth. It's so easy to distract that kid, but it comes in very handy on occasions such as this.

The game of Truth Or Dare went on, until all of the fangirls had got bored and left, I was down to just my bra and girl boxers (yes, I have those), Demyx was in just his T-shirt and underwear and the others were shirtless but not much else. I couldn't really afford to forfeit again.

"Megan, Truth Or Dare?" I had come to realise that Seifer was actually more ruthless than Larxene, and as such usually chose Truth. He's a creative asshole when it comes to Dares, I'll give him that.

"Truth, I guess," I shrugged. I knew I'd have to answer no matter what. The best I could do at the moment was ask open-ended questions that kept the others talking, just to buy myself time.

"Are you a virgin?" asked Zexion quietly. I noticed that he was holding hands with Demyx, who was reading a text that was almost certainly from Xigbar. That right there was a love triangle if ever I saw it.

I paused. Okay, just keep cool here. "No, I'm not." I sipped the beer I'd taken from Seifer ten minutes ago, determined not to let him drink under my watch. It wasn't that I cared about his welfare or any shit like that, but I'm a fairly good person and watching him fuck his own liver over was not pleasing to me.

Everyone gasped, even Seifer, because no, he was not the person I lost it to. In fact, we'd never got that far, or even close, and I for one didn't intend to.

"Megan, what _is_ a virgin?" Dem asked me, his eyes all wide again. I was _not_ explaining that to him. Roxas could. It was sort of a guy thing, right?

"It's a starsign. You know, the one that comes after Leo?" Demyx nodded, perfectly satisfied by this incredibly flawed explanation. See what I mean? He just doesn't care enough about everyone else to think things through. Not in the sense that he's a horrible self-centred person, but in the sense that he's in his own little world and he completely lacks the ability to see into other people's heads.

"Seifer, Truth Or Dare?" Larxene smiled evilly at him. I almost got the feeling that she was on my side here.

"Dare," he said, tipping back his apple juice. Yes, apple juice. It was the only thing available for him to drink that didn't contain any alcohol.

"Dare you to kiss Megan _and _escape with your life," smirked Demyx, putting his phone away. Zexion's face cleared up a little at that. Clearly he was not the biggest fan of what Naminé fondly called "XigDem". Why is was necessary for them to have a couple name I will never know.

But there were more pressing matters at hand than Naminé's teenage girlishness. For instance, there was the fact that Seifer had been offered a choice between removing his trousers and kissing me. I wanted neither of these things to happen.

"That's not so much a Dare as what I've been trying to do since the day I met her." I glared at all of them, but especially him, the enormous blonde fuck-up. Why was he so fucking annoying? Why was everyone so annoying?

"Okay. While Seifer makes this life-changing... or possibly life-ending... decision, Zexion, Truth Or Dare?" Larxene twiddled with her thumbnails for no real reason. She seemed slightly more tame this evening than she normally did, although to be honest I never really considered her a threat.

"Truth." Everyone seemed to be veering towards Truths now, probably because Seifer appears to be slightly messed up in the head when it came to forcing people to do things. There was a reason I was only in my underwear.

"How many people have you kissed, and who were they?"

Seifer was looking at me like he was trying to figure out how murderous I felt that particular evening. The answer was_ very, very, very_ murderous. In fact, if I didn't need to keep an eye on Demyx, I would be somewhere else. True, Axel and Roxas were doing fuck-knows-what in another room, but I trusted Roxas to make good decisions for himself. Demyx, not so much, particularly in the company of Zexion, whose fingers were still laced through Dem's.

"Two." Oh, right, they were still playing Truth Or Stupid-ass Dare. "Neku Sakuraba, the one who graduated last year, and... Demyx."

Wait.

WHAT?

"You... you and Demyx have kissed?" For some reason I was extraordinarily pissed off by this, but it wasn't me talking to Zexion. It was Seifer. "Erm... d'you really think that that's cool?"

"What's that meant to mean?" demanded Zexion, putting an arm around Demyx's waist. Dem himself was starting to look pretty rough. If he had a bad day tomorrow I was placing all the blame on Zexion. I don't give a shit if it's Seifer's party, Dem probably only came to see Zexion, Zexion had kissed him, and now... for some reason... Seifer seemed to be on my side.

"Demyx," said Seifer slowly, his eyes darting to me, standing in my underwear and completely immobilised by rage, "did you _want _to kiss Zexion?"

I kind of expected a hesitant yes, or for Demyx to refuse to answer. I didn't expect for him to pull himself away from Zexion and say, "Well, maybe... maybe just not... not yet. Not now."

I think I missed the memo about everyone suddenly turning insane, because Demyx was acting like he had both a spine and a brain, _at the same time_ for a change, and Seifer actually came across as a decent person. Just when I thought everyone's personalities couldn't be more fucked up, Zexion spoke too.

"You know, Seifer, I think this is between Demyx and I." Okay, that part was fairly usual for Zexion. "You just want Megan to think you give a shit about her brother, because you're obsessed with her."

Zexion, making an astute observation? Was _everyone_ on drugs?

I took a deep breath. "I think I'm gonna put my clothes back on and leave. You wanna come with me, Dem? We can grab Roxas and go home if you want..." _and then talk about the little prick that somehow managed to trick you into kissing him before you wanted to._ "Or you can stay if you really want to."

Demyx bit his lip, his eyes flicking from me to Seifer to Larxene and finally to Zexion. "Look... Zexy... I... we're only seventeen, right? But I've been told..." He half-laughed. "I've been told I'm about twelve mentally. And... I'm really confused at the moment..."

Xigbar.

That's the only reason he's having doubts about Zexion.

It's because of Xigbar.

"Okay." Zexion forced a smile. "Tell you what. We'll stay friends, and if you ever want a boyfriend, let me know." Yeah, he'll let you know, when he invites you to his wedding with Xigbar. _You manipulative cunt_, I thought, watching how he pouted and took a step away from my brother. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Seifer gave me a look like _You buying this bullshit?_ To which I non-verbally replied _Ugh, is anyone except Demyx buying this bullshit? _It was weird because I knew that Seifer didn't care about Demyx, but it was nice to pretend. "Megan, should we go track Roxas down?"

I nodded. I had a horrible feeling that I knew where I would find him, and it would involve a conversation with Axel, which isn't a fun thing on any occasion.

"C'mon."

**Roxas**

Yes, we did end up in one of the spare rooms, one with a lock on the door.

Yes, Megan did put condoms in my pocket without asking me first.

Yes, I was completely freaking out.

"A-Axel, for the love of fuck, _I'm straight_," I insisted as he locked the door behind us. Shit. I was trapped.

"And I'm drunk," he told me, turning away from the door and grinning. "If anyone asks, I was off my face with beer, and you were trying to keep me from hurting myself. Okay?"

"Wait..." I took a step towards him, looking him dead in the eye. "You're... you're _sober_? You were only pretending to be fucking drunk, you cunt!"

He chuckled. "Gotta keep your reputation intact somehow, haven't we?" He pulled me towards him, his warm hands spread across my waist.

"A-Axel... Axel, don't..." He just grinned at me, reaching up to brush some of my hair out my face. I was gonna kill Megan and Naminé. It was all their fault. "Axel..."

"Yeah, you just keep saying my name in that pretty little voice of yours," he whispered, leaning down. His lips brushed my cheek. _Fuck_.

"Axel..." Okay, maybe I should stop saying that. "I'm not gay."

His hand slipped into my pocket and pulled out the little white bottle Megan and her horrifically interfering best friend had felt necessary to deposit there. "Then would you care to explain why you brought this with you tonight?"

I felt myself go pink. Okay, being caught with lube in your pocket is sort of bad. "Uh... well, you see, Megan and Naminé..."

"Oh, so it's like that, is it?" Axel had this really sexy grin where the right corner of his mouth went up further than the left and... no, no, _no!_ What the fuck was wrong with me? "You got all pretty and then you got scared, so now you're going to blame your older sister. Why are you so terrified of me, Roxie?" I scowled at him, but I couldn't find in within me to punch him. "I don't think you realise just how adorable you look when you scowl like that." He ran a finger along my jawline and I shuddered in spite of myself. "Oh, was that a shudder? Is my little Roxie cold? I can fix that if you want..."

I couldn't make my brain start working again. I just knew that I was going to either end up being a douche towards Axel, or succumbing to him. Oh, fuck, maybe I wanted to think of some word other than "succumb". It sounded like something from a gay Twilight fanfiction... not that I _read_ the one Naminé emailed to me... ahaha...

"Axel, I don't want..." Axel's hands started playing with the waistband of my trousers. "Axel..."

"Are you doing that on purpose?" he smirked, his lips hovering far too close to mine. "You know, every time you say my name like that means another time I will dominate you –"

"Shut up!" I couldn't inject any anger into it. "I'm _straight_, okay?"

Axel leaned down and, at risk of death, he kissed me.

It was... it was astonishing. I mean, for a straight guy, I really enjoyed kissing another guy. Platonically, of course, and let's carry on pretending that Axel was drunk. It was easier to tell myself that there was literally no significance in everything that was happening to me this evening. That included my heart speeding up and Axel's tongue wending its way into my mouth, and the growing problem that all excited teenage boys experience, made worse by the far-too-tight jeans that I think actually belonged to my sister rather than myself.

I jerked my head back suddenly when I realised I was enjoying myself a whole lot more than when I'd kissed Olette during the week we dated. Axel was gazing at me like he wanted to keep me in this room forever and ever. Which maybe he did.

"Axel, will you get it into your fucking head that I'm _straight_!" I snapped. He scowled for the first time since I'd known him and for a second I was worried. Then I remembered the girl I'd grown up with. I could deal with a scowl or two.

"Roxas, for fuck's sake, look at yourself. You just made out with me, and last time I checked, I was a guy. You've never been interested in a girl –"

"Yuffie –"

"Yuffie _saved your life_, I've heard," Axel interrupted. "That's not a crush, that's you being really grateful. Everyone thinks you're gay and nobody gives a shit."

"Hayner does," I spat before I could stop myself.

Axel softened a little and cupped my chin. "What did Hayner say?" I was silent. "Roxas, what did Hayner say to you?"

"He said I shouldn't hang out with you because people are suspecting things and that the only reason nobody is homophobic to Demyx is because he's a retard and I threw a chair at him and I think I broke his nose and two of his fingers..." I took a deep breath, "and then he sent Demyx to tell me he was sorry which is so not cool because Demyx wanted to know what Hayner was sorry for and I can't lie to Demyx so I just told him I'd tell him tomorrow, and I just realised I'm friends with a jackass, a spineless pudgy albino carrot, and the girl who's dated everything that breathes!"

There was a long silence. "...Did you just call Pence a spineless pudgy albino carrot?"

I covered my face with my hands. "His hair is spiky, like the top of a carrot, but since he's white then he's an _albino_ carrot. You get it?"

Axel chuckled and put an arm around my shoulders. "Don't you worry your sexy little self, Roxas. I'll fix things up between you and your friends. C'mon, let's see that perfect smile of yours."

I shook my head, leaning into Axel. Okay, I could kind of see why he'd been pissed a minute ago. I was sort of leading him on.

Except...

It wasn't leading him on... if...

If I liked him back.

"Come on, Roxie, cheer up." He was upset that I was upset. Aww. "Are you ticklish?"

Suddenly I felt long, slender fingers digging into my sides. I squeaked, squirming in Axel's grip. Yes, I was ticklish. Megan was too, but last time someone tried tickling her, they lost two teeth.

"Aww, my little Roxie is ticklish!" He stopped – thank fuck – and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my backwards so my back was flush with his chest. "I'll have to... bear that one in mind..."

And now we were back to the whole ear-nibbling thing he seemed to really enjoy.

"Axel."

"Mmm..." He sounded pretty damn happy. I tried to forget what he'd said about every time I said his name.

"If... if I, hypothetically, told you that I had a crush on you... hypothetically... would you be my... boyfriend?"

Oh my fucking God, did I just ask someone to be my boyfriend?

"Hm..." He moved away from my ear and started sucking on my neck. He was torturing me and of course he knew it. "I'm not really into the whole relationship thing, Roxas."

"Oh." _Fuck_. I just asked a guy to be my boyfriend and I got turned down. Today was officially shitty. "Okay. No big deal."

"Why would you want to date me, anyway?" I could feel myself slowly sliding into slight depression. "What d'you like about me, Roxie?"

He was winding me up now. I was probably going to end up killing him. "You have really pretty eyes. They remind me of Olette. Now will you let me go?" I was officially being a cunt. Oh, well.

He chuckled. "You know, Roxas, I'm not really into the relationship thing... but if it keeps you away from bitches like Olette, I may just have to be your boyfriend, just so no one else can have you."

That... dick.

"You were gonna say yes all along, weren't you, you cunt?" I demanded, trying to pry his arms away from my waist. "You're such a dick!"

"Aww, was lickle Roxie really silly enough to believe that his Axie wasn't gonna love him forever and ever?" He tightened his grip around my waist. Fuck, I was gonna kill him. "Oh, and if you ever call me Axie in front of anyone else, you will be punished."

I opened my mouth, realised the implications of being "punished" by Axel, and relaxed in his arms. "So... are we gonna, like... tell people?" I asked.

He sighed. "You really don't want your sister to be proven right, do you?"

I smiled and looked down at my feet. "I don't mind, to be honest. Last thing I want is for you to be flirting with people because no one knows you're taken."

There was a pounding on the door. "Roxas? You in there? Roxas?"

Axel chuckled. "Looks like Meggy's found us. Are you telling her or should I?"

The idea of Axel breaking news to anyone, especially my sister, made me shudder. I crossed the room and unlocked the door, opening it to find a slightly triumphant-looking Megan and a very subdued Demyx awaiting me. Axel sauntered up behind me and threw his arms around my neck. He smelt gorgeous. I wanted to remember that smell for the rest of my life.

"You ready to go home?" Megan had a firm hold on Demyx's hand. He was probably going to have a really shitty day tomorrow.

"Yeah. Um... Megan..." How do you tell your older sister that she was right about everything ever?

Axel did it for me. "Roxas and I are together now. You mad?"

"You gonna do the face or do I have to cope with _ineffective_ trolling?" she quipped, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She was a few inches shorter than Axel, but they were probably matched in terms of strength. Of course, Megan could psychically set fire to candles, but there again, she was convinced that Axel could control fire too, so... Perhaps the best thing would just be not to let them fight each other, ever.

"Okay, okay, I'm going home now." I extricated myself from Axel's grip, darting over to Megan before my _boyfriend _could put his arms around me again. I didn't really object to it, but it made going to places kind of difficult.

"See you later, Roxie!" he called after me. Instead of harming him severely, as was my first impulse, I turned and gave him a peppy little wave.

"Bye, _Axie_!" I half-sung, before falling into step with my siblings. Who cared what tomorrow had in store for me? Today was officially brilliant.

I had a _boyfriend_.

I also had a nearly uncontrollable urge to squee, but that could be taken care of once I was safely in my room.

xxx

That chapter felt _horrifically_ long. And not even that good.

It kinda looks like I'm gonna have to write a sequel. I'm scared that you guys will hate me forever otherwise. So I've started planning it, and you lot will probably be compelled by your consciences to read it. You poor unfortunate souls. That is not to say, however, that this fic is nearly done. Oh, no. Not by a long shot.

If you guys like my writing, because you think it's funny or whatever, you might wanna go check out "A million munny" and "Organization XIII Discovers Coffee", written by moi for all you lovelies. Oh, and if anyone can guess why Pence was referred to as an albino carrot, you will win my internet heart forever.

...I can't believe I'm whoring out my _own_ fanfiction. That is a whole new level of sad.

I love you all, pretty please reviews now?


	14. Chapter 14

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Marluxia**

I strode into the room on Sunday morning. I had decided to give Vexen the cold shoulder – he'd been blanking me, but two can play at that game – but everyone else got treated to a warm smile as I picked out my favourite chair in the staffroom. Xigbar was texting – of course, when has he ever taken anything seriously? – Vexen was rearranging his folder with a touch of OCD and Xaldin was drinking black coffee. Everyone else was either late or boring.

I looked over at Xigbar, who sat on my left. He had put his phone down for a moment and was looking at me really weirdly. "What's up with you?" I asked. Shouldn't he be wasting his time playing Snake on his phone?

"Marluxia," he said slowly, drawing the attention of both Vexen and Xaldin, "what on _earth_ possessed you to wear that shirt?"

I looked down at my shirt. Was it really that bad? No, it wasn't. Xigbar was probably just jealous. "Shut up."

"It _is_ kind of... extremely gay..." Vexen observed. Well, at least he fucking noticed me.

"Seriously, Marluxia, it looks like a gay pride parade ran you over. And I mean that in the nicest way possible," Xigbar continued, scooping up his phone again.

"If you don't shut the fuck up, when Xemnas arrives I'm going to tell him you've been sexting Demyx." That might have been a little low, but he _insulted my shirt_. It was one of my favourite shirts.

Xigbar smirked at me. "I can prove that I haven't. Got my cellphone right here with all the texts saved, and not one of 'em is the slightest bit inappropriate."

Well, of course not. Demyx wouldn't have understood anyway.

"All right, ladies, settle down, I'm here." Xemnas sauntered in and the room fell silent. "We need to discuss –"  
>"Sir, before we begin." Xigbar tilted his chair back. How in the fuck had he kept this job for so fucking long? "Do you like Marluxia's shirt?"<p>

Oh, goodie.

Xemnas regarded me. "Well... it's very colourful... and it has flowers on it... lots of colourful flowers..."

"And? There's nothing wrong with it, _right_, sir?" I demanded, looking down at it. It was a lovely shirt; what the fuck were they on about?

"Erm... perhaps we should start the meeting now." He coughed loudly and sat down. I tried not to look too heartbroken. "So, first things first –"

"We need to talk about Megan, sir," said Miss Belle, the French teacher who was rumoured to have a fetish for chest hair. "I'm quite worried about her."

"I've got her under control, don't worry," I announced boredly, waving a bored hand and generally feeling bored. I was so sick of people bitching about Megan. Say what you will, she was one of my best friends and I couldn't help but get pissed when people complained about the consequences of their own stupidity when they were around her.

"Well, you say that, but you see, she seems a little... stressed at the moment. She's constantly irritable, even more violent than normal, and I think she's losing weight." Well, of course she's losing weight. Whenever she has any spare food it goes to Naminé.

Xemnas sighed heavily. "I don't care about that girl, is that understood? Either you learn to deal with her or she and her brothers will be removed from the school."

"NO!" All our heads swivelled to look at Xigbar, who shrank into his chair slightly. "Uh... Megan and Roxas are... are my best students... and Roxas is clearly a good influence on Axel..."

We pretty much let it slide because Xemnas did not exactly have a clean record when it came to being professional around attractive males either. "We've already spent far too much time talking about that messed-up little girl. There are more important matters at hand..."

We moved onto talking about boring stuff like salary and the new chairs in the staff room, and it soon became one of those meetings in which everybody is sneakily texting their friends.

_Megan, how're you? I've got this really shitty staff meeting today, so I'm dying. How're the three of you? Love Marly xxxxxxxx_

_Awful. Really awful. Demyx is having his worst day in... ever. I had to call Naminé's Uncle Cid and ask him to keep my dad busy because Dem in a bad mood plus Dad in even a good one is a really fucking bad idea. Love Megan :P_

_Oh. _I paused mid-text to nod attentively and take note of the fact that Xigbar was texting Demyx. Maybe things weren't too bad for the kid. _How are you and Roxas holding up? You especially. Look after yourself, okay? Love Marly :) xxxxxxxxxx_

"Psst, Marly." Xigbar leaned in a little closer to me, his one eye fixed on Xemnas. "Can you ask Megan how Demyx is?"

I replied by scrolling up to Megan's previous text about it being one of Demyx's very worst days and tilting my phone screen for him to read. He bit his lip and returned to his own texting, this time with a lot more urgency.

"All right, then, I suppose that's it for today's meeting. Use the bathroom if you need to; the school's being locked up again in twenty minutes, so hurry up."

I got up and dashed to the bathroom. Xigbar, I noticed, was now on the phone, not to Demyx but to Megan. Who'd have thought it?

"Really, Marluxia, that shirt..." Vexen told me, shaking his head as he followed me to the staff toilets. Right. I'd had enough now.

"You know what, Vexen? Fuck it. If you hate this goddamn shirt so much..." I started undoing the buttons, "I'll fucking well take it off."

As my shirt fell to the floor, I noticed the change in Vexen's face. Oh. _Oh_. I could _totally _use this to my advantage. He made no move to stop me as my hands reached for my belt.

"You probably hate my fucking _belt_ too, so I'll take _that _off..." I dropped it onto the floor along with my shirt. "And why not my jeans, while I'm at it? They probably make me look fat or something, right?" I kicked off my shoes and let my jeans fall to my ankles. Vexen was practically eye-raping me. This was definite progress, considering he wouldn't even look at me when I first arrived.

"Marluxia," he said in a strangled voice, "I really dislike your underwear as well, you know."

For a moment, I really did contemplate taking that off. But then I remembered the whole "always leave them wanting more" rule, so I just huffed contemptuously.

"You really think I'm that _stupid_, you know-it-all fake blonde madman?"

Vexen opened his mouth as if to bitch me out, but then closed it again. A smirk curved his lips. "Here," he said, handing me a leaflet. It was for the grand opening of the new restaurant in Tram Common. "Maybe afterwards we can go back to my place and I'll prove I'm a natural blonde."

Then he turned and left, leaving me with only my underwear on, a leaflet for a restaurant and burning red cheeks.

I pulled my clothes back on and scurried out into the car park. Vexen was already gone. Typical. Xigbar, however, remained standing outside his car, bickering with someone on the other end of his cellphone. I inched closer. A little eavesdropping never hurt anyone, right?

"Let me talk to him. No, I don't think I can do a better job than you, but I still want – I _know_ he doesn't want me to, but if I can just get a word – Megan, what was that? What was the enormous fucking crash? Megan, don't lie to me, it was your end of the – Megan – if you kids aren't safe then I can – listen to me! You can't stay there if he –"

Then he sighed and, shoulders curved, he snapped his phone shut. Clearly Megan had hung up on him.

"Don't worry," I said quietly, making him not so much jump as just twitch feebly. "I can make sure the three of them are all okay."

If Xigbar wasn't so bloody defeated right now, he probably would have demanded how I was meant to do that. As it was, he just stared at my left ear and nodded like a small child who wanted desperately to know where their lost blankie was. Only in this case, the child was a grown man, and the lost blankie was Demyx.

I was going to _have _to check up on the trio now... after my date with a certain blonde teacher...

Fuck yes.

**Megan**

It was a long and difficult bus ride to school on Monday morning, I tell you what. Roxas and I sat next to each other in the seats behind Zexion and Demyx. I noticed that Demyx managed a weak half-smile at Zexion before returning to staring out of the window. Poor kid.

I swallowed, trying not to let the pain show. My throat was absolute murder. I had on a high-necked sweater to hide the slight bruising I'd acquired. Hopefully nobody would notice the foundation I'd had to put onto Roxas's cheek to hide a patch of purple there, and as for Demyx, as long as he remembered to keep the jacket on he should be fine.

We just had to keep going and put yesterday behind us. We all knew how sorry he was for hurting us. I caught sight of it in his face when I handed him his clean laundry. But we couldn't talk about it just yet, it was too painful, so I doubt he even knew that he was forgiven. But he was always forgiven, no matter what happened.

He was family.

"All right, kids, everyone off!" Our normal bus driver had caught something nasty, so we were being driven to school by Bob, who is a douchebag. Seriously, it's like, if he went to a party and everyone else brought, like, casserole or something, he would bring _fire. _And _destruction_. That is the essence of Bob.

"Come on, guys," I murmured. Yes, that's right, the unconquerable Megan _murmured_. Not hissed venomously, not growled and certainly not screamed. I murmured, because every syllable I formed hurt my throat far more than was fair.

Demyx and Roxas got slowly to their feet. Of the three of us, I'd say I was the most beat-up, followed by Dem and then Roxas. Zexion seemed completely oblivious to it all, which was... reassuring? I didn't want to be reassured by that EMO cunt. Even the back of his head annoyed me, forced to look at it as we all shuffled down the centre of the bus to walk past Bob the douchebag and make the perilous leap from the bus down onto solid ground. Stupid Zexion, fucking with my brother's head when he and Xigbar were _clearly_ made for each other.

As soon as we stepped off the bus, and I do mean the very same second, Roxas got glomped by Axel. He actually returned the hug, muttering something into Axel's ear about how horrible yesterday had been, and could he please mind the bruises. Since the bruises extended all the way up the left side of Roxas's waist, this would be a pretty big task for Axel.

But I was amazed to see that Axel pulled away, kissed my little brother lightly on the nose and took his hand instead. There was so much tenderness and care in that gesture that the petty dislike I'd been storing up for Axel was squashed down by something much bigger, much more important – the need to protect my brothers and make sure they were as happy as they could be. And Roxas was certainly happy now, smiling up at Axel like he had found... well... what he needed.

Sure, Axel was a prick, but hey, he was Roxas's prick.

I glanced over at Zexion and Demyx, who were both walking silently to the Languages corridor, where Zexion had French and Demyx had Spanish. Okay, I can form an incredibly long list of Zexion's flaws, but he was there for Demyx. And of course, yesterday there was Xigbar's desperate attempt to ensure not only Demyx's safety, but mine and Roxas's as well. I decided then and there that I wasn't going to put any pressure on Demyx to choose. He had two people who cared about him, and for now he was allowed to keep both of them. Xigbar wanted to keep him safe and Zexion wanted to keep him happy. He couldn't have asked for more.

Well, maybe a stable home life and to be able to do his own laundry, but we could work on that.

"Megan?" I looked up at the source of the voice. It was Marluxia, and for some reason he was fairly subdued. "Did he..."

"Yeah," I whispered, starting to move towards Physics, "he did."

Marly sighed heavily. "If you can't cope with –"

"_I can cope_," I told him, as loudly as I could muster. He'd really done a number on my throat, hadn't he? "I'm fine. _We're_ fine. Thanks, Marly, but... we're coping."

"All right. Call me tonight. I need to talk to you anyway. The best thing happened to me yesterday."

So not everyone had painful, heartbreaking Sundays then. That was nice to know.

"That's great, Marly." I stopped short. Was I already here? Oh. Okay. "I've got Physics now. I'll see you around."

"You need anything, you let me know, okay?" I was already halfway through the door to the classroom. Oh, good, Seifer was in this class. As was Naminé. _You_ try telling barefaced lies to Naminé. It doesn't work.

"What's with the sweater?" Nami asked by way of greeting, moving the bag she'd used to save my seat. "And what's going on with Axel and Roxas?"

I grinned. Of course, I hadn't had a chance to tell her anything yesterday. "They're... you know... a couple and stuff..."

"YOU FUCKING WHAT?" I chuckled at her enthusiasm. It was lucky that Ansem wasn't here yet. We were getting plenty of weird looks as it was.

"Yeah... well, we were playing Strip Truth Or Dare, and Axel was a bit tipsy..." It was easier than explaining that actually he was _pretending_ to be absolutely fucked-up smashed, and that a mere hour or so later he was one hundred percent sober. "And Demyx's fangirls dared him to tell Roxas what he really thought of him, and it was something perverted and romantic at the same time, you know..." Naminé nodded, urging me on. I got the feeling Seifer was eavesdropping as well. Eh, I don't mind an audience. "And Roxas tried to do the whole "I'm straight" thing that he's so bad at, so Axel just scooped him up and took him into one of the spare rooms."

Naminé gasped and her eyes widened. The way she clasped her hands in front of her, you'd think I was telling her a goddamn fairytale. Oh, for the sake of all that is pure, don't let her use the phrase "make love". I hate it. I hate it so damn much and I have no justification. I just do. "That's so beautiful!"

"Hello! A fucking Fire Whisperer fucked my little brother in my not-quite-ex's spare room and you think it's _beautiful_?" I still couldn't raise my voice, but I had to keep talking. Wouldn't want her knowing what was wrong with my throat... hence why I batted away the question about my sweater.

"You have no proof that he's a Fire Whisperer, Megan," came an oh-fuck-off-it's-too-familiar voice from my left. Yes, Seifer was indeed listening to my conversation. "Nice to hear you refer to me as your not-quite-ex, I must say. Almost implies that we're still together."

"We weren't together in the first place, you fuck-up!" I hissed, regretting it because, yes, hissing does require the use of your throat. Seifer just smirked at me. I looked to Naminé for support... and she smirked too.

"For fuck's sake, I don't need this today." I didn't really need it any day, but today was a pretty inopportune one. "If you guys don't fuck off, I'm moving to the nerd seat at the front."

Seifer pouted at me. FUCKING STOP IT NOW. "I'm sorry, Megan. Do you want a cuddle or something? You do look a little... well, not yourself today."

Thankfully Ansem strode in before I could explain what had happened on Sunday. Or kill Seifer. Or both.

xxx

Yeah, it's kinda short. But it's got you all wondering what happened on Sunday, hasn't it? Mwahaha :D

I'm really sorry about not updating in any particular pattern. I just do it whenever the fuck I can. See, I've got about another four chapters lined up and saved, but I don't want to upload everything I've written and then find myself stuck story-wise. So I have to write more before I can upload more. Make sense?

Oh, and the whole Marluxia's flowery shirt thing was dedicated with all my love to Death By Nutella (Vexen), her totally-not-boyfriend-GOSH (Marluxia), our best friend (Xigbar) and our French teacher (Xemnas). You people make school almost worth going to, with your shenanigans and so on.

The more reviews I get, the more likely I am to include MarVex lemon soon. After all, I think we ALL want to know whether Vexen is a natural blonde...

REVIEW!


	15. Chapter 15

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

I don't believe this.

Axel was being incredibly sweet about the whole bruises thing. He always walked on my left to make sure no one bumped into me, held my hand instead of my waist when he kissed me in the bathroom before Math, and put his arm around my shoulder rather than my waist. I never knew he could actually be thoughtful.

At lunch, I grabbed my food and lead Axel outside. Of course, it _would_ be pouring down with sunshine on the same day that Megan had to wear a high-necked sweater. We found a seat on the steps with a still-silent Demyx, Megan and Naminé. There was this stone staircase just outside the cafeteria that everyone ate on when the weather was warm. The only kids still inside were Seifer and his gang (possibly because it was easier to stalk Megan from a distance, and then if she noticed and went for you then you'd get a head start), Kairi, Zexion, Yuffie, and a couple of teachers.

"Megan, how come you aren't eating?" I heard the resentment in Naminé's voice. Of course she would think it unfair that she was being forced to cram down food but the rule didn't apply to Megan. She didn't realise that it must be torture for Megan to swallow, or talk, or do anything involving her throat. Because of course, Pride is Megan's middle name, and there was no way she was admitting to physical pain.

"Oh, yeah." Megan laughed and fell on her food in a pretty accurate impression of someone who actually wanted food. "Go on, eat yours."

Naminé sighed heavily and commenced the nibbling.

"Hey, Nami." That phrase, the one that always prompted an extremely teenage-girlish conversation. "Remember when we first got here and we couldn't remember any of the teachers' names, so for a week or two we gave them all nicknames?"

Naminé giggled. She was so... insubstantial sometimes. "Of course. I still think of them by their nicknames sometimes."

"Nicknames like what?" asked Axel, reaching over and taking my hand. I saw the look on Naminé's face, but thankfully there was no squeeing. I really didn't need a lunchtime full of squeeing.

"Well, Xigbar was The Pirate, because of the eyepatch..." Megan looked down at her food. I wished the cafeteria sold ice cream. She could really do with one. "Xaldin was Captain Sideburns..."

Axel chuckled. "Miss Belle was The Virgin, because of her incredibly long skirts," Naminé continued, "and Marly was Candyfloss because of his hair."

"Then there was Mr Leonhart, he was The Babe..." Ew. Megan and Naminé both giggled. Personally I never really saw the attraction with Leon. He was just kind of EMO. "Ansem was L'Oreal Man, because –"

"Because he's worth it!" Naminé and Axel both said in unison. I rolled my eyes and occupied myself with my orange. It was a damn good orange.

"Aeris was The Dealer..."

"Explain that one. Aeris is the nurse, right?" Oh, fuck, Axel, don't look _interested_. They'll never shut up. Demyx remained silent, staring into the distance. It was still too early to try talking to him about it.

"Well, you know a few years back they illegalised the widespread use of Potions because they basically get you high?" Megan glanced at Demyx, but he really didn't look like he was listening. "Well, Aeris still uses them every now and then. She doesn't see the problem with it." Axel chuckled. "And I think Xigbar might have one or two in his cupboard, in case of an emergency. Don't tell anyone I said that, though."

Axel grinned. Was this... were they actually getting along? Geez. What next?

"Oh, and Saïx, before he left, he was called Target Practice because of the X-shaped scar on his forehead. Everyone hated him." Naminé sucked apple juice from a tiny box. There were probably about five calories in that, and still she struggled with it.

"Ugh. He was a _douche_. He taught PE before Nami's favourite teacher showed up and replaced him. He was transferred to another job after... erm..." Megan looked uncertainly at Demyx, who sighed.

"Xigbar walked in on Saïx and Xemnas shirtless, making out in the staff room. He told me first so now apparently I know everything about it." Demyx's voice was flat and quiet, but at least we got him to talk.

"Dayum." Axel chuckled again. He did have a fairly sexy chuckle. _And it's all mine_.

"Nobody was sorry to see him go except Xemnas, and even he wasn't too upset because now he can screw him without being unprofessional." Megan scowled. "And he always had one kid in every class he would pick on. It was Xion, then –"

Xion turned from where she sat, on the steps in front of ours. "You guys talking 'bout me?" She was friendly, a little too innocent, and had eyes that matched mine.

"We were just talking about Saïx." Xion hissed at the mention of his name. "Axel's lucky we have someone else teaching us PE now, huh?"

Xion gave a knowing giggle and turned back to her book. Axel looked slightly perplexed by now. "So who is this new PE teacher?"

Naminé started giggling now, and even Demyx's mouth twitched. Megan explained, "This guy called Setzer. Everyone thinks he's extraordinarily pretty, but he's nothing compared to Mr Leonhart."

"I beg to differ," Naminé objected, holding up one finger. "For one thing, Leon doesn't have as much lustrous hair..."

I shook my head at them and felt an arm slip around my shoulder. I leaned closer to Axel, still having to be careful of my bruises. He wasn't quite as annoying as I first thought he would be. In fact, sometimes I actually enjoyed his company. Especially when he kissed me on the forehead and then rested his chin on top of my hair.

"Hey!" We all looked up in unison. It was, of course, Seifer. He looked partially naked without Rai and Fuu to back him up. "Megan, can I have a quick word?"

She got to her feet slowly. She was probably just glad not to have to eat anything more with her messed-up throat.

Seifer lead her back into school, presumably to stroll through corridors for the last half an hour of lunch. I looked at Naminé, and without a word she nodded, got up, cereal bar in hand, and followed Seifer and my sister from a probably-safe distance, leaving just me, Axel and Demyx.

And then Demyx got up, mumbled something about finding Xigbar and wandered off, leaving me alone with my boyfriend.

**Naminé**

I ducked behind another stone pillar as Megan and Seifer slowed down, probably because Seifer was reading a text and couldn't read and walk at the same time.

"So, you want to tell me why you've got your neck covered up? Somehow I doubt you'd find someone brave enough to give you a lovebite..." I slipped away from the pillar and carried on following the two of them, listening intently.

"Look... I know what you're gonna say, but... he didn't mean to do it."

There was a painfully prolonged pause. "So it was him." Was who? Their dad? "Megan, I don't think you –"

"He was just scared, Seifer. Scared and upset." Well, that's weird, because their dad always seems more angry than anything else. Of course, if Megan cared about her dad, she'd go to any lengths to justify his behaviour.

"All the more reason to stay away from him, since he doesn't know what he's doing."

I always thought Megan _wanted_ to get away from her dad?

"Look... I know it seems bad, but..."

"Can I see the marks?" Seifer asked. Their footsteps fell still and I dove behind a pot plant. _Thank you, God, for my anorexia_, I thought dryly. This was about the only time that that godawful disease was of any advantage to me.

I peered out as Megan pulled down the neck of her sweater. Her pale, pale neck was bruised all over. Seifer sucked in a breath through his teeth.

"Doesn't it _hurt_?" he asked as she readjusted the neck of her sweater so the bruises were covered.

"Yeah. 'Specially when I talk, or swallow." I now realised why she'd been so reluctant to eat... and yet she still had, because of me. I positively squirmed with guilt.

"He did that to you, Megan. What about Roxas? I saw him flinch when Axel tried putting an arm around his waist. Was that him too?"

How could Megan forgive her dad after _that_?

"When he realised... when he came out of it, and realised that he had tried to strangle me, and kicked Roxas in the side three times, he was... he felt _so bad_."

Seifer laughed hollowly. "I'm sure he told you that, Megan, but –"

"He tried to kill himself." Megan took a shuddering, desperate breath. "He tried to kill himself right in front of me."

"Megan, you need to get away from him." _No shit, Sherlock_. "He's nuts."

"No, he's not!" Megan's voice was strained. I wanted to rush forwards and comfort her, but that would kind of defeat the object of hiding. "He was just –"

"Scared, I know." Seifer sounded bored by now. "You could always move in with me." I didn't need to look at Megan to know that there would be a death glare on her face. "You could bring Roxas, too."

"And leave Demyx with my homophobic dad?" Megan demanded. Yeah, actually, that did seem pretty pissy. What did Seifer have against Demyx?

"Well, Demyx _is_ the one who tried to strangle you. It would kind of defeat the object if he came too."

My jaw dropped. It wasn't Megan's dad... it was...

"I'm staying with my brothers. _Both_ of them." There was no arguing with Megan on that, even with her throat so horribly fucked up. "This conversation is over."

I stood in shock behind my pot plant. Of all the people in that family to attempt murder... and then to attempt suicide afterwards... _Demyx_?

The world is so fucked up.

"She's gone, Naminé." I jumped out of my skin. "I'm guessing she never told you exactly what happens when Demyx is having a bad day?"

I stepped out from behind the fern and gaped. "You _knew?_"

He smirked. "I was bound to see the bruises eventually, right? Took her three hours to convince me she wasn't cheating... although we were "never technically together"." He sketched quotation marks around the words with his fingers. "Why is she so afraid of her own feelings?"

"Because they're the only thing she fully understands, but has no idea how to control." I said it before thinking but it rang so true. Seifer just half-shook his head at me.

"Look at her. Best friends with an anorexic, and so busy trying to make her precious Naminé eat that she hasn't noticed her favourite jeans are getting a little baggy." I frowned. "Pushing Demyx towards Xigbar instead of Zexion because she desperately needs a father. Acting up to get sent to the counsellor because she desperately needs a mother." I could see where he was coming from, as much as I hated to admit it. "Spending her own munny on sleeping pills for her big brother when she's the one who has nightmares at least once a week." Okay, why was I getting the feeling that this guy knew my best friend better than I did? "Forgiving her brother over and over because she blames herself for his "bad days", or at least, not being able to cope when he's having one." Of course, her biggest crux was always her pride. "Destroying herself in her frantic attempts to save everyone else. She's going to wind up ill, or worse. Look after her, at least while she won't let me do it, okay?"

I nodded solemnly. I was kind of planning on looking after her anyway. She was, after all, my best friend.

"Seifer?" He looked at me like he only cared about me because of Megan. Oh, wait. He did. "I wouldn't worry too much about her. I know they don't look it, but Roxas and Demyx are pretty capable when –"

"When they're not trying to kill her." I flinched, remembering the rainbow bruises adorning Megan's neck like some twisted piece of jewellery. "Don't put your trust in them, not even for a moment."

That seemed... a little harsh. Still, if the girl I'd been obsessed with since my first year at Twilight High had nearly been strangled, I wouldn't trust the strangler with a grain of rice, let alone said girl.

"Okay." He smiled at me, which was rather creepy, and turned on his heel to saunter away.

**Xigbar**

I leaned against the wall furthest away from my classroom door and took a deep breath. I taught Demyx's class last period on a Monday, and I was dying to see him, to make sure he was okay, and to find out exactly what had happened yesterday. I had had a lesson with Megan's class before lunch, but she completely blanked me. I couldn't blame her, really. She was so proud of the way she looked after her brothers, and she probably felt like I was interfering. Hell, I _was_ interfering. But anything for Demyx's sake.

Speaking of whom...

"Hey, DemDem, you all right?" He didn't answer me, just tossed himself onto the nearest beanbag and buried his face in his own arm. With a quick glance at the clock – two minutes til I was meant to be teaching, you know, a _lesson_ – I wove my way between Xion and Larxene and sat down on the floor next to Demyx.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. From where I sat, I could see a spot on the back of his head that would normally be more or less hidden by hair. But because of the angle of his head, it was just exposed enough for me to see a cut, surrounded by swelling. It looked as if he had hit the wall with the back of his head.

The bell rang to signal the start of the lesson. I stood up and looked around at everyone. "Okay, guys, how about you all read some more of "Of Mice and Men" today? We can discuss it next lesson. Spare copies are on that shelf over there if you've forgotten yours." There was a sudden rush towards the shelf that held spare copies of the book. Demyx lay still on the beanbag, and if I didn't know better I'd say he was asleep. I sat back down at his side and leaned towards him. "Demyx?"

"Leave me alone," he muttered, shifting so that he was slightly further away from me.

I reached out to touch him, but thought better of it. "Are you okay, kiddo?"

"Do I look okay?"

_No, you don't_, I thought, biting my lip. He was never like this. He never snapped at me – he never snapped at _anyone, _as far as I knew – and normally he at least acted happy to see me. Now it was like he resented everyone else just because they were happier than him. And if the cut on the back of his head and my phone call with Megan yesterday were anything to go by, he kind of had a right to be unhappy.

"D'you want anything? I've got cookies, or I can get you a drink of water, or –"

"I want you to leave me alone," he interrupted, shuffling, beanbag and all, a good two feet away from me. I stayed where I was, figuring that I should give the kid some space, and kept all my attention focused on him. I really wanted to know what went wrong yesterday, but I knew I wasn't going to get it out of Demyx.

"Aww, is lickle Demyx sad?" Larxene. Shit. "What's wrong? Still angsting over the midget EMO?"

"Larxene," I said through gritted teeth, despising even the mention of the midget EMO, "get on with reading."

She fixed her ice-cold eyes on me, widening them in a pantomime of innocence. "But I've finished the book," she told me, spreading her hands as if things like that couldn't be helped. "I figured that I may as well come over and find out why Demyx is so upset."

"Larxene..." She was inching her way towards Demyx, who was still silent and motionless on his beanbag.

"You should be ecstatic, Demyx!" she cooed, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind one of his ears. _Get your hands off my DemDem's face_. "After all, wasn't Seifer's party one of the best you've ever been to?"

I tried not to over-analyse what she was saying. Apart from anything else, knowing Larxene I'd probably find out exactly what she meant in a couple minutes' time.

"Larxene... leave me alone..." If there wasn't a rule against killing students, I would shoot Larxene so many times that her body would be comprised more of bullets than of Larxene substances. "Seriously..."

"But that party was great! In fact, didn't you and Zexion disappear onto the roof for, like, an hour?"

What. The. Fuck.

"Larxene, it was like... ten minutes." Demyx still hadn't shifted from the position he lay in. "Now would you please _leave my hair alone_ and go somewhere else?"

Larxene just giggled and continued threading her fingers through Demyx's hair. I couldn't see a plausible way to interfere without losing my job, and possibly more than that. "But Xigbar's all interested now! Shall I tell him the bit about when we were playing Truth Or Dare..."

I sat silent and shocked on the wooden floor of my classroom, hoping against hope she wouldn't say what I thought she was going to say.

"Larxene..." Demyx said, lifting up his head. There was a look in his eye I neither recognised nor liked.

"What was it again?" She started twiddling with Demyx's scarf. "Zexion picked Truth, and I think it was one of your friends – Crystal, I think her name was? – who asked him how many people he had ever kissed, and who." Please no, please no, please no. "And then he told us that he'd kissed two people. Neku, the one who graduated last year... and... which was the other name he said again?"

Demyx pushed Larxene's hand away from his scarf. "Leave me _alone_."

"Oh, I remember." She turned to me with a sickly sweet smile pushed onto her face. "You'll be interested to know that Zexion kissed Demyx up on the roof of Seifer's house, under the stars in the cool night air..." She turned back towards Demyx and patted him on the cheek. "Looks like our little DemDem is all grown up, hm?"

I stood up and marched over to where Larxene and Demyx sat. "Larxene, you have exactly twenty-nine seconds to move your ass _away _from Demyx before you fail English this year and have to do this grade again." She scowled heavily but moved out of my way. "Demyx?"

"Leave... me... alone!" Demyx pushed me backwards but I regained my balance as quickly as I had lost it. I knelt down so I was eye level with him and took one of his hands.

"Did you really kiss Zexion?"

Demyx said nothing, just stared at our hands like they were on fire. Then he wrenched his out of mine. "Don't..."

"Demyx. Come on." I reached for his hand again, but he moved backwards, trying to keep away from me. "What's wrong?"

"Just leave me alone!" he yelled, one of his feet kicking out and barely missing my face. What the fuck was going on today?

"C'mon, Dem, don't do this," I muttered, looking into his eyes. There was a shocking lack of... well... Demyx in them.

"Get away from me!" This time his voice was panicked and filled the entire room, silencing the normal hubbub of teenagers that were supposed to be working.

This time I wasn't paying enough attention and his foot really _did_ hit my face, my lip suddenly becoming very warm with pain and blood. Demyx just kicked me. _Demyx_ just kicked me. What... what the fuck?

"Hey, Poppet," I called over my shoulder to one of the onlookers, "do me a favour and go get Megan out of Biology?"

"My name isn't –"

"I don't give a fuck what your name is! Go and get Demyx's sister!" I returned my attention to Demyx, who was still trying to hit me. "Calm down, Demyx, it's okay –"

"Don't you tell me to calm down! Don't... don't... gah!" His fist just clipped my ear, not enough to hurt but still enough to get my attention.

Call me presumptuous, but I think something may have been wrong with Demyx.

"Out of my way, you fuck-ups." I never thought I would be so grateful to hear Megan storming into my classroom. "That means you too, Xigbar."

I hastily moved out from between Megan and Demyx, watching as she sat down in front of him and took his hand, somehow managing to look calm and composed while dodging every attack her brother threw at her. He had more or less lost it, hadn't he?

"Demyx, look at me. Look at me, listen to me." He didn't calm down even in the slightest. "Hey, Demyx, remember that song? Remember? _So lately, been wondering who will be there to take my place_..."

If the room had been silent before, it was a freaking vacuum now. Nobody even breathed. _Why_ could Megan sing? It made no logical sense. Megan was meant to punch people and force Naminé to eat Oreos. That was her function. Not soothing her brother with the first verse of "Wherever you will go" by The Calling.

But her voice was great. She didn't hit every note, and at one point she coughed halfway through a word, but she had a pure, honest voice and something about it really was reassuring. Something told me that she had had to sing to Demyx more than once.

All of a sudden Demyx gasped and fell still. "D-did I... I didn't hurt you, did I?"

The bell rang. Megan gave everyone a get-the-fuck-out look before turning to smile at Demyx. "Of course you didn't, Demyx. Don't worry."

"What about..." His eyes roamed the classroom, watching everyone else leave. "What about Xigbar?" He looked at me and I could see the realisation blooming in his eyes. "I kicked you in the face, didn't I?"

I realised that I hadn't done anything to slow to stream of blood from my lower lip. "Yeah," I said quietly, "but it's not your fault."

He shook his head, yanking up his sleeves to reveal clean white bandages and scrabbling frantically at the tape that held them wrapped around his arms. Oh, shit. Please don't tell me... "I... I have to..."

"Demyx," Megan cut in sharply, "listen to me. C'mon, look at me, eyes on me. It's okay. _Nobody blames you_. I promise you that nobody blames you. Come on, pull your sleeves back down."

"But I..." He looked so small and so lost. "I..."

"We've probably already missed the bus." Megan checked her watch. "Yup. Hopefully Roxas got on, at least. I might ask Cloud if he can take us home. Or we could sleep over at Naminé's." Demyx nodded, following her every word desperately, while I tried to stop my lip from bleeding. "In fact, she'll probably come past here on her way to the car park... I'll go wait just outside. You stay here, okay?" Demyx nodded. Megan shot me a "Look after him or I will hurt you" glare and left. I turned to Demyx.

"Xiggy, I'm so, so sorry for –"

"It's fine," I told him, sitting down on his left. "Really, Dem, I've had much worse than just a foot to the face. I'm less upset about that than I am about you kissing Zexion."

It was only when I said it out loud that I realised just how upset I was about him kissing Zexion. My throat closed up and my stomach started throwing itself against my ribcage.

He sighed. "I didn't... plan it... it just happened. And then afterwards, everyone was asking me how I felt about it, and I told him that I'm confused about everything at the moment, and I'm not ready to do anything else will him." I wondered whether it would be safe to put an arm around him yet. "I didn't mention the part where I was only confused because I'm in love with Zexion..." Shit. "...and with you."

Oh.

Oh... okay...

"Uh." Oh, _great_ way to respond to the guy you love telling you he loves you back. "Um... well..."

Demyx laughed. _At least he's not upset any more_, I told myself. Even if I was on the verge of screwing up my entire life. "I wish I had a camera right now. You look so shocked."

"You... I... you... love..." I needed to form whole sentence, preferably before Megan came in. "I'm in love with you... too..."

Demyx smiled coyly. I didn't even know that he could do _anything_ coyly. "Oh, really?" Fuuuuuck my life. He was leaning closer to me, his knee brushing mine. "Well, that's rather _interesting_..."

I was being seduced... by _Demyx_. Knowingly or not, this kid was, once again, causing a massive problem within my jeans.

"Come on, Demyx, don't do this to me." I slipped an arm around his waist. His smile grew wider. "I don't really like feeling outdone by Zexion, you know. I think I might have to kiss you... and do it better than he did it."

Demyx giggled. Well, that was a _bit_ more like him. "Well, if you insist..."

I cupped his chin and leaned in. All my dreams were coming true all at once...

And then, when I was only millimetres away from Demyx's gorgeous mouth, the door flew open and Megan strode back in. I sprang away from her brother and cleared my throat. Demyx slid me a glance that somehow seemed to say "We'll finish that off later". I liked that glance. I liked it a lot.

Megan clearly hadn't noticed what was going on between me and her brother, or perhaps she'd noticed and was just ignoring it. Somehow I suspected it was the latter.

"Listen, Dem. Roxas is chilling with Axel, so Cloud's driving us home and Naminé's staying over at our place. Okay?"

Demyx sprang to his feet. Remaining on the floor, I got a brilliant view of his ass. Not... not that I was looking. That would be wrong.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Xiggy!" Demyx bent down, gave me a far-too-short hug and then darted out of the room, clearly blushing. Aww. I glanced at Megan, who was hovering at the door with a smirk on her face.

"All right, Megan?" I asked, trying not to think about Demyx too much.

She smirked even wider. "I'll get Demyx to school nice and early for you tomorrow, Xiggy."

I probably should have been offended, but I was too busy wanting to screw her brother.

xxx

*insert usual apologies about not uploading sooner*

I've had LOADS of shit going on. Like, counselling-starts-in-a-few-weeks type loads of shit. So you know what would make me feel better? Multiple reviews about this chapter, and specifically, your opinions about Zemyx vs XigDem. Pretty please review?

Reviews really do inspire me to write more. So if you give half a fuck about this fanfic, you might wanna start typing. I need all the motivation I can get.

Love to all of you, and hopefully I'll upload another chapter soon.


	16. Chapter 16

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

"W-whose idea was t-this again?" I asked, pulling my knees up to my chest and trying to ignore how badly my hands were shaking. Axel smirked at me and shuffled closer.

"It was yours, remember? I said I wanted to go on an actual date with you and you suggested here because you've always wanted to come up here." Unlike me, Axel did not seem completely terrified by the prospect of falling off the clock tower and dying. In fact, he looked like he was quite enjoying himself.

"I-I... I'm scared," I squeaked, moving closer to Axel. He put an arm around my shoulders and I tilted my head, smiling when it fit perfectly into his neck.

"You'll be fine. I've got you." Oh my God, my heart was practically _dancing_. "Eat your ice cream, it's melting."

One wonderful thing that happened that day: I found out that someone besides myself, Olette, Hayner and Pence that actually liked sea-salt ice cream. Axel had bought four, two for each of us, but I hadn't even got halfway through my first because I was so terrified.

"Axel?" I said quietly, nuzzling into his neck a little. "Do you think I did the right thing tonight?"

"You mean, leaving Megan to look after your brother?" Axel didn't know the whole story, but he knew that Demyx was really, really upset today, and that he was, erm, a bit of a handful when he was upset. I think he'd already put two and two together in terms of the bruises on my side and Demyx's awful mood, but he didn't say anything. "I think you did. Megan's a very capable girl, and if Demyx needed it then she would put aside her pride and get help. There are plenty of places she could get it from. Think about Xigbar and Marluxia. Just relax. You deserve some time with your gorgeous boyfriend." I smiled in spite of myself. "Now, come on, eat your ice cream."

"It's all right for you, even your hair defies gravity," I muttered, but carried on eating my ice cream. Axel wouldn't let me fall. Axel wouldn't let me fall.

"Hey, Roxas. Is your sister still insisting I can talk to fire?" Axel finished his first ice cream and tossed his stick off the clock tower. We both watched its descent, our eyes following it as it twisted and spun, finally hitting the ground and bouncing once before it lay defeated and still on the steps so far below.

"She hasn't changed her mind as far as I know, but she hasn't mentioned it much. Why?"

He grinned at me. My stomach seemed to follow the path of that ice cream stick, all the way to the bottom of the clock tower. "I wanna show you something. Hurry up with that ice cream."

"You can help me finish it if you want to," I blurted out. I felt myself going red but Axel just carried on grinning, all composure and sexiness, and leaned in, taking hold of my wrist and bringing the sea salt ice cream back up to my mouth, then started working on the side of the ice cream he was closer to.

It was like the cliché spaghetti thing, only a little more explicit, since our tongues kept brushing each other and Axel never missed an opportunity to grope me, well, anywhere he could.

"Best way to eat an ice cream, methinks," said Axel when we'd finished, taking the stick from my hands. "Now, just watch."

And then it caught fire.

"Axel, you – you –" He wasn't finished just yet, though. He put the flaming ice cream stick in his mouth, flames and all, and then pulled it back out. The flames were extinguished and the wooden stick completely untouched by them, as if nothing had fucking happened.

I sat there with my mouth hanging open. I was a hundred million feet up in the air on the clock tower in Twilight Town with my pyromaniac boyfriend who was not only a Fire Whisperer, but seemed exceptionally horny. Somehow I didn't think that this could end well for me.

"I can do bigger stuff than that too, of course, but I didn't want to freak you out too much," he told me matter-of-factly, putting down the ice cream stick down beside him. "Now... do you tend to have sex on the first date?"

"Axel!" I yelled, pushing him away when he leaned in to kiss me. "What the _fuck_? You can't just... just throw something like that at me, and then... and then just... act like it never fucking happened!"

Axel shrugged. "Your sister lit a candle last week and you were fine with that."

I scowled. "That was different and you know it. It took her longer –"

"Only because I was fucking with it."

"_What_?" I demanded, trying to move further away from the edge of the tower without getting closer to Axel.

He looked completely nonchalant about the entire thing. "I knew that things weren't going to be fun for you if she set fire to it while your dad was there, so I kept stopping her until he went to the bathroom. And don't you scowl at me like that – you know I helped you out."

I didn't stop scowling. "Anything else? You don't have any other superpowers I should know about, do you?" I couldn't keep the sarcasm from oozing out of my voice. "Oh, gosh, I hope you don't have X-ray vision, because I'm wearing my cheapest cotton underwear today. In any case, I bet your super Getting-Laid Senses aren't tingling, are they?"

"What're you so pissed about? It's not my fault that I can talk to fire." Why was he being so... _ugh_?

"You could've fucking told me sooner! And you're acting like it doesn't freaking matter, when it _does_, if only because you could end up burning yourself or –"

"Oh, come on, Roxie, what do you take me for?"

I snarled and climbed to my feet. "Stop fucking calling me Roxie! I hate it!"

He looked up at me, eyes squinting against the sun. "Why?" I was silent. "Why d'you hate it? I know Megan hates being called Meggy because it's a reminder of the childhood she can't actually remember, and because it detracts from the whole murderous thing she's got going on, but what about you? Are you just copying your sister?"

My mouth fell open again. At this point it was very low on my list of concerns. "_Why_ would I copy _Megan_? I mean, she's a great girl and everything –"

Axel got to his feet too. "You _idolise_ her. Demyx does too. Megan, the girl who can do anything, even talk to fire if she tries hard enough! Well, hate to burst your bubble, Roxas, but she's such a fucking coward that she can't even admit she's crushing on Seifer, let alone do anything worth copying."

"You leave my sister out of this!" I was so furious right now, I could've produced venom. "You _know_ there's more to Megan than just "Ooh, I wonder if Seifer likes me back"! You're just jealous because I spend time with her and Demyx –"

"Jealous of her and Demyx? Yeah, right! She's a psychopath and he's so naïve that Xigbar could _rape_ him and he wouldn't notice! Only he isn't as defenceless as he looks, is he, Roxas?"

I was ready to push him off the fucking tower by now. How dare he? How fucking dare he? "What's _that_ meant to mean?" I asked coldly, knowing full well what it was meant to mean, and not really wanting the words spoken out loud.

"It means that he hurt you yesterday," said Axel, his voice suddenly low and carrying the air of one about to land the final blow. Not if I had anything to do with it. "And I can't prove it, but I think he hurt Megan too. You lie and you hide, all three of you, you keep all your problems a secret, trying desperately to stay together when the one thing you all need is to go your own ways."

"Shut up!" It was my last, desperate defence. "You don't know what the fuck you're on about, _Axie_. Demyx wouldn't last two days without Megan and I, and I wouldn't last with him and Megan, and Megan –"

"Is a psycho! I'm surprised she hasn't been locked up yet! She's constantly meddling in everyone else's business, she lives in Marluxia's office and she's always either aggressive or depressed!"

"You guys were laughing together literally four hours ago, at lunch with Naminé –"

"I was pretending!" Axel bellowed. Luckily no one was around at the moment. We would've attracted more than a little attention. "I was pretending, to make you happy!"

I opened my mouth, shut it, and opened it again. "Thanks, I guess. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and hang out with my siblings, both of whom I adore and couldn't survive without."

And then I spun on my heel and started down the staircase to the bottom of the tower.

The tears only started when I realised Axel wasn't following me.

**Demyx**

Zexion or Xigbar?

Xigbar or Zexion?

That was the only thing I could think of, splayed across my bed with Bowie on my stomach. I was sort of playing with the water in the glass by my bed, making it splash up and seeing how much I could successfully guide back into the cup. It wasn't as big of a deal as Megan made out, being able to control an element. Normally I was too busy thinking about other stuff to practise talking to water. And I still hadn't mentioned it to Megan, because I knew that she'd overreact.

At least I had some credit on my phone now. And I'd got to see Naminé's gorgeous older brother on the way home.

Xigbar or Zexion?

"Bowie, make my brain shut up," I implored, scratching her behind the ears. She clearly didn't know how to make my brain shut up, because she simply yawned and carried on chilling on top of me. I sighed and pushed her off, sitting up and drinking the water I'd just been messing with. Maybe the girls would be finished with their Math homework and I could ask their advice. I knew Megan didn't really like Zexion, but Naminé was fairly unbiased and usually very good at advising people. I dragged my lazy self downstairs, leaving my cellphone upstairs so I wouldn't be tempted to blow all my credit on Xigbar tonight.

"Hey, Demyx, you okay?" Megan asked from the kitchen, where she was searching for something that didn't need preparing, since Roxas wasn't back from his date with Axel yet.

"Yeah. Can... can I ask you two something? And will you promise to tell the truth?"

As oblivious as I am sometimes, I did not miss the uneasy glance that Naminé and Megan shared as I slipped into Roxas's seat at the table, since Naminé was in mine.

"Sure, Dem. You can always talk to us." Megan placed a cereal bar in front of Naminé and offered me the last one. I shook my head. "What's eating you?"

"Well... well, who would you rather have as a brother-in-law, Xigbar or Zexion?"

They both looked at each other.

Then they started giggling.

"Aw, we're sorry, Dem," Naminé said, unwrapping her cereal bar. "It's just that Megan and I have just had a massive debate about that exact question."

"And did you come up with an answer? Because I kind of don't have one." I started playing with the edge of the plastic tablecloth.

"We ended up agreeing that it should be your decision and yours only. That means no letting Zexion or Xigbar put pressure on you either." Megan tossed herself into her own chair. "I know it's hard for you, Demyx. It can't be easy for either of them, either."

Naminé cleared her throat. "Um... do they... do they know that Demyx is... well, that he's crushing on both of them at the same time?"

I considered this for a moment. "I know Xigbar knows. Larxene told him today in English about me and Zexy kissing."

"You _what_?" Naminé turned to Meg. "Megan! You're supposed to _tell_ me these things!"

Megan shrugged. "You know I don't like... what did you call it? Zemyx?"

I giggled. "We have a _couple name_? Do me and Xiggy have one too?"

"Yeah, it's XigDem." Megan grinned when I laughed. "Naminé came up with them herself. You should be very proud of her."

I nodded. Megan was always super nice to Naminé, compared to the way she treated most people. More than once I've wondered whether Megan might have a bit of a crush on Nami, but I'm pretty sure that she only likes boys. It would make more sense just to think of Naminé as the sister Megan never had.

"Oh, I need to call Marly at some point tonight. Apparently the best thing ever happened to him yesterday." Megan rolled her eyes. I really didn't want to think about yesterday... or most of today. I'd been moody for the whole day, then kicked Xigbar in the face. I still felt awful about that. I'd gotten over the urge to hurt myself, but I still felt terrible. And then there was the fact that I accidentally let slip I was in love with Xigbar... and we almost kissed...

"Vexen probably asked him if he could borrow a stapler or something," said Naminé flatly, scrunching up the now empty cereal bar in her left hand. "Anyway, Demyx, about this kiss with Zexion..."

"Yeah, yeah, you want to know all the –" I was stopped by the sound of the front door opening ant the three of us turned in unison to see Roxas thundering up the stairs. Then there was an awkward silence.

"I get the feeling that Roxas's date didn't go too well," Naminé muttered, still playing with the wrapper of her cereal bar. She kept on reading all the tiny writing on it: the numbers and ingredients and all the stuff that everyone else ignored. "Who wants to go talk to him?"

Megan sighed. "I will. You two gush about _Zemyx _together."

"We can talk about XigDem as well if it would make you happy," I added. And because I was completely messed up and wanted XigDem _and_ Zemyx to happen.

And you really know you're messed up when you start using your sister's best friend's couple names within your own head.

Megan got to her feet slowly. I could see some purple peeking out from under her high-necked sweater. She could tell me I was forgiven as much as she liked. I didn't forgive myself, and I never would. It was worse because I couldn't even remember what happened for a few moments. Just that Megan blocked a punch from me... and then I had pushed her against the wall with my hands around her throat... and then she was coughing and coughing and none of us knew what to do.

_All my fault_...

"Demyx? You okay?"

_Zexion or Xigbar? All my fault... Xigbar or Zexion?_

"Demyx?"

I shook my head hard. "I'mma go... to my room... and call... Xigbar."

Naminé didn't say anything, just nodded. I wasn't even sure whether I was planning to call Xigbar or whether I was going to find something sharp. But once I got to my room I was met by Bowie, who was purring, and my cellphone, which was also purring because Xigbar was trying to call me, and I don't think I could have hurt myself even if I had tried.

**Megan**

"Roxas," I called softly at his bedroom door. It was, of course, locked. "Roxas, let me in, I have something for you." Lying is terrible and you shouldn't do it. This has been a message from Megan, your friendly neighbourhood psychopath. "Come on, unlock the door."

The door opened very, very slowly. Roxas's eyes were red and puffy and his nose was running. Clearly he had been crying.

Someone was going to pay.

"You don't have anything for me, do you?"

I laughed. "Just some sisterly wisdom. C'mon." I barged past him into the room and sat down on his bed. I saw his cellphone lying dead on the floor with its battery a couple feet away. "Sit here." He sat next to me, all meek and humble because of whatever had happened on his date. "Tell me why you're sad, little Roxas."

He chuckled miserably and it hurt my heart to hear. "It's stupid. Me and Axel just bickered a little. You were right, by the way." I waited for him to reveal what I was right about. "He can talk to fire."

I sighed. "I'm right about everything." Roxas chuckled again. It didn't sound like his laugh at all. "You wanna tell me what you two were bickering about?"

"Not really, but I suppose you'll make me tell you anyway."

I shook my head. I had recently decided that it was easier to get information from other people and let my brothers tell me things I already knew in their own time. "Nah, not if you don't want to. And I suppose killing him is out of the question as well, huh?"

"I would prefer if you let him live, yeah." He sniffed. "Even if he is a dick."

"You know, Naminé's downstairs. If you wanted, you could tell her." Why? Well, because curiosity was starting to get the better of me. But I had to wait. Patience is a virtue, and anyway, it was only a few hours before I could corner Axel at school and threaten him so creatively that someone writes it down and uses it in a fanfiction.

Roxas shook his head. "I think I'll stay up here and play Crash Nitro Kart for a while. You go look after Demyx and Naminé."

I decided that Roxas didn't need to know that I had to talk to Marluxia for the sake of his sanity because of _something_ that happened. I just hugged him briefly, told him I loved him, and left his room, shutting the door carefully. So Naminé was talking to Demyx, Roxas was playing video games, so pretty much all that was left to take care of was to call Marluxia and his... whatever it was.

"Hey, Marluxia," I said, chewing on my fingernails now that he couldn't see me to tell me off. "You're using up my credit, so spit it out. What happened yesterday?"

There was a high-pitched giggle on the other end of the line. Normally his voice was fairly manly (compared to the rest of him), but when he giggled he could pass for Naminé. "I got laid!"

"You... you..." I had officially had far too much to deal with for that day. Oh, well. "Was it Vexen?"

More giggling. I could picture him flicking his hair and smiled to myself. At least he was happy. "Yeah." Okay, the giggling was getting annoying now. "And it was so good."

"Please, for the love of all that I care about, don't give me any details." I shifted on my bed so that the blood flow reached my toes for a change. "So are you two an item now?"

"I'm not sure. He said that he'd like to do it again." Even I giggled that time. "So I'm not really sure."

We talked for a while about that, eventually coming to the conclusion that Vexen really liked him and was just too shy to admit it. Or at least, that's what I told Marly. I really didn't need him to have another nervous breakdown over the phone.

Eventually I managed to make him leave me alone and I went and had a shower. I never have long showers. I hate the way that it feels to know that if something went horribly wrong, I wouldn't know until ten minutes afterwards, because of the noise of the shower, so I instinctively showered as fast as I could.

Yes, of course I trust my brothers, what're you on about?

When I left the bathroom fifteen minutes later, I was wearing my favourite T-shirt and the bruises on my throat were clearly visible. Hopefully Demyx wouldn't catch sight of them and start feeling all guilty again. You don't know how awful it is to see your brother, one half of your world (the other half being Roxas) hurting themselves until you've actually been through it. And I really hope that no one else goes through that, and that no one else is able to sympathise with me here, because it was pure fucking torture.

I tapped on Roxas's bedroom door, intending just to see whether he'd already eaten when he'd been with Axel or whether I would have to point him in the direction of the kitchen. He opened it for me, still looking tearful and forlorn, and I gave him a hug, trying to show him just how much I cared. I know I have serious issues, and expressing my feelings in one of them.

"Megan... do you think I should call Axel? You know, just apologise and see what he's got to say for himself?"

It would be a lot easier to deliver advice if I, oh, I don't know, _knew what the argument was about_? Still, Roxas was clearly not in the mood to go into detail and I'm not mean enough to force him to.

"It depends. If I were you I'd wait til tomorrow, see how he treats you in school or whether he ignores you... you know. Unless you've changed your mind and I'm allowed to kill him."

Roxas smiled and shook his head. He looked so tired and defeated without his spiky-headed prick of a boyfriend. "I do still really like him, you know. I'm starting to think we've been rushing things a little... I mean, I've only known him for a little while, but it feels way longer than that..."

My heart stung a little as I realised I knew exactly what Roxas was talking about. Would it have ended differently if we'd taken it slowly?

Fuck. Why must all my thoughts end up somehow related to that blonde fuck-up? I shook my head at myself and tried to keep on the "Helping Roxas" train of thought.

"I guess it just depends on you two. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with and if he needs a clobbering then let me know." I patted my little brother on the head. He really was all bark and no bite. _He learnt from the best_, I thought. Sometimes I doubt myself a little. Just a little. "In the meantime, have some food and get some sleep. I want to get to school nice and early tomorrow morning."

What? I just think that if Demyx wants to have a friendly, civilised chat with Xigbar, then he should be able to.

It had nothing to do with me trying to set the two of them up because they were _made for each other_. I'm not interfering, I swear.

xxx

So I was all happy and upbeat today, and decided to take advantage of it by posting this chapter, which will probably make you all very sad. Don't worry though. I'm too much of a sap to keep Axel and Roxas away from each other for more than ten minutes.

I just wanna give hugs and rainbows to everyone who read this chapter, and this author's note, and I want you all to know that I appreciate every single one of you. I know I sound like a complete sap right now, but I'm really happy. I broke up with my boyfriend, which has honestly boosted my self-esteem and energy WAY more than it should have, and yesterday my stepdad took me shopping to cheer me up because shit's been so, well, shitty recently, and he got me these two rainbow headbands which I ADORE because a) I am a proud bisexual and b) I look so gangsta wearing them.

REVIEW. PLEASE. NOW. GO. DOOOO IT.


	17. Chapter 17

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

I woke up at six the next morning, pretty late for me, and fed Bowie. Then I styled my hair, threw on some clothes from yesterday, and dabbed concealer onto the dark circles under my eyes. I'd been up until one in the morning, first talking to Naminé and then getting my bandages changed by Megan, which is much more of an ordeal than you'd think. See, I didn't want anyone looking at the cuts. Including Megan. After an hour or so of arguing, she agreed to try and do it with her eyes shut. That took longer, and they were slightly crooked on my left wrist, but she managed it. I still hated myself for the bruises on her neck and on Roxas's left side, and I told the two of them that repeatedly. Megan just shrugged it off and Roxas was silent. Apparently he and Axel had had a huge fight about me and Megan, but he didn't want Megan knowing that the fight was about her, so he told Naminé and I when Meg was in the shower. I always felt uneasy when Megan was in the shower, like something bad was bound to happen the one time that she wouldn't be there to prevent it.

I padded downstairs, feet still clad in fluffy blue socks, and found Roxas already in the kitchen, making breakfast. He looked so dishevelled that he might've been awake all night. I wanted to say something to him but didn't know quite what, so I just hugged him. He buried his face in my shirt and whimpered slightly, obviously trying not to cry. I patted his back, trying not to cry myself. Roxas was meant to be tough. I hated seeing him upset. He and Megan were everything to me, more than David Bowie and my own pet Bowie, more than Zexion and Xigbar, more than my sitar and all my CDs and every last thing I owned. They were what kept me going when I could have given up. And it tore me to shreds to see either of them with anything but a smile and some food on their face.

"Thanks, Dem," Roxas said quietly, breaking the hug and turning back to the cooker, where he was frying bacon. I decided to do some dishes – there were only about four dirty ones, but I wanted to try playing with water a bit more – until I heard footsteps enter the dining room and turned to see Megan and Naminé sitting down at the table, both looking sleepy and innocent and harmless. I knew better. We all know that Megan is lethal when it's called for, but Naminé can match up to a boa constrictor when necessary. Fortunately, that's only ever been necessary twice. Normally, she's just adorable.

"Hey, boys," Megan called sleepily. I finished drying the last dish and received my bacon and eggs from Roxas, walking with him to the table and watching his hands place plates stacked with food in front of the girls. He then returned to the kitchen to get himself a banana and some chocolate milk (off limits to me after the time I drank a whole litre of it and then threw up) and stood against the kitchen counter, eating slowly while staring into space. Naminé and Megan ate mostly in silence, and I bolted down my food as quickly as possible, starving as always and starting to feel anxious about seeing Zexion and Xigbar today. No matter what, my thoughts couldn't stop circling around the fact that Xigbar and I had been _this close_ to kissing... And Zexion and I had _actually_ kissed, and God it felt good.

And now I was blushing like crazy and Naminé was grinning at me.

"You okay there, Dem?" Megan asked me, standing up to take my and her plates to the sink. Naminé was still eating. She's a very slow eater. And she eats very little. Apparently she had a stomach condition or something, but I didn't really understand it. I got distracted halfway through Roxas's explanation of it.

"Y-yeah, why wouldn't I be?" _You are so bad at lying,_ I told myself, pushing back my chair so I could get up.

"You're blushing," Roxas said quietly. He was never this quiet. I had half a mind to drown Axel. "Thinking about Zexion?"

"I-I-I... no!" Megan and Naminé both giggled to each other. I looked at them just in time to catch Naminé mouthing "Xigbar" at Megan, who giggled even harder. Well, at least they were happy, even if it was at my expense.

"Whatever you say, Demyx, whatever you say," Roxas said with a small smile, tossing his banana skin into the bin and placing his empty glass next to my and Megan's dirty plates. Then he hurried off upstairs, checking the clock over his shoulder as he went.

"Megan, do I have to –" Naminé began, gesturing to her breakfast.

"Yes," Megan said sharply, sitting back down next to her. "You need to, Nami." She looked up at me. "Demyx, you go and get nice and pretty for school. If we're early you can stop by Xigbar's classroom, right?"

I blushed even more but dashed out of the room, the sounds of Megan trying to coax Naminé into eating following me. That stomach thing Roxas told me about ...it probably hurt for her to eat. Yeah, that was it. Poor girl. I _loved_ food.

In my room I frantically searched for my hair gel or spray or _something_, Bowie meowing at me from atop my bed as if she knew where it might be but didn't want to tell me. I wasn't too worried about her being heard by Megan, Roxas or Naminé – the house had _awful_ acoustics, so even if they heard the noise it wouldn't be recognisable as a cat. I hoped.

Why did I care so much, anyway? I'd be too busy apologising for kicking Xigbar in the face to try looking pretty. I double-checked the bandages on my arms, then when I was sure they were secure, I opened the window for Bowie and leaned out a little myself. Maybe I'd go down to the pond and see whether I could do anything interesting with it...

"Demyx! Demyx, you in there?"

...or maybe not.

I darted to the door before Megan took the liberty of kicking it open herself and dashed through it, slamming it behind me before she could peer in and catch sight of Bowie. She didn't seem at all disturbed by this, simply blinking and then smiling brightly. Aww. Sometimes she was almost a normal little girl.

"Listen, Dem, if we get the earlier bus then we can get to school twenty minutes before the first bell. But you wouldn't see Zexion. What d'you say?"

I stood, torn, in front of my bedroom door. Our school ran two buses, one early one and one late one, because some of the more advanced classes like Engineering and Philosophy started earlier in the morning, getting an extra fifteen minutes of learning time. Of course, not being the brightest tool in the crayon box, I was in none of these classes, and so always got the later bus with Megan and Roxas. Zexion had been offered places in all of the advanced classes, but turned them down in favour of private tutoring at home. He was probably going to get accepted into Traverse Town University at the end of this year. Traverse was one of the most famous, most prestigious, most nerdy and elitist universities, and very few people even bothered applying, knowing that they wouldn't get in. Zexion would though, if he tried.

"Uh... I guess..." She _knew_ she was basically offering me a choice between Xigbar and Zexion here. Logically, I should pick Zexion, since I would see less of him today than Xigbar. "I guess I'll take the earlier one. I need to apologise for kicking Xiggy, anyway."

Megan nodded, then without another word flew back down the stairs to talk to Naminé. At least, I assumed that that was what she was doing. You never know with that girl.

Fifteen minutes later the four of us were on the back row of the earlier bus with the nerds and the kids whose parents wanted them out of the house. I'd left my cellphone at home again, so I was completely neglecting Xigbar. And Zexion, although Zexion never texted me, so...

"Oh, fuck! We forgot to tell Demyx and Roxas about you and Luxord!" Megan, in a rare moment of teenage girlishness, bounced up and down in her seat. "Naminé, how could you let me forget?"

Naminé grinned in an almost Megan-esque way. "I forgot. The same way that you _forgot_ to tell me about Zexion kissing Demyx at Seifer's party."

"I'm _sorry_!" Megan half-laughed, clinging onto Naminé's arm. "Tell Dem about you and your bloke. I need to talk to Roxas, anyway." Roxas, who had started blasting 3OH!3 into his ears in an openly antisocial way, was gazing out of the window and clearly trying to keep both his physical and emotional distance from us. It wasn't going to last. No one can resist the extreme persuasiveness and manipulativeness that Megan commands. It makes you wonder why she even _needs_ power over fire, when she can already get into people's heads and get whatever she wants.

"So... you and Luxord?" I decided to go into teenage girl mode myself. "How? When? Where? Why?"

And so Naminé launched into an overly-detailed account of the conversation that had lead to her and Luxord being a couple.

**Megan**

"I'm not sure about this, Megan..."

I grinned at Naminé, who was hiding just outside Xigbar's classroom with me. We'd just practically thrown Demyx through the door to "Say hi before school starts" and now, like all self-respecting teenage girls, we were spying on the two of them. And, like all decent sidekicks, Naminé was having doubts. I just sighed and patted her on the head, motioning for her to listen. She glared at me, but being Naminé it wasn't exactly effective. Don't get me wrong, she can be vicious when she needs to be. She just doesn't feel the need to be very often.

"Hi, DemDem! How come you're here so early?" We couldn't see, like, anything. They were both standing sort of in the corner, as far away from the window as it is possible to be without leaving the fucking country. We could hear them, though. That was all we really needed.

"Well, I wanted to say sorry for kicking you in the face yesterday." Naminé and I rolled our eyes in unison. Demyx was far too apologetic about things like that. I was pretty sure that Xigbar wouldn't take advantage of it, though. People like Zexion, on the other hand...

"It's _fine_, Demyx, seriously. You don't have to apologise for that." Naminé shifted slightly, probably still worried about being seen. "You do, however, need to apologise for letting your little sister drag you out of my classroom when we were quite clearly in the middle of something."

I had to kick Naminé at this point. She sort of mini-squeed. Not helpful when you're spying on people. "Yeah... well... we've got a chance now?"

The innocent, childish hope that always seems to swirl around Demyx's person was so painfully obvious in that sentence that I wondered whether Dem was even old enough to flirt, let alone actually _do_ anything. Still, if there was one thing Naminé and I agreed on, it was that Xigbar was trustworthy, and that if necessary I could just burn him.

We barely heard Xigbar chuckle. "Oh, Dem, you're so cute sometimes..."

Demyx sort of... giggled? It was a little low-pitched to be a giggle. And then there was silence...

And then Demyx's phone started ringing.

"The _fuck_? Does the universe hate me or something?" Xigbar was pissed, and understandably so. He probably felt like he was never going to get any, ever, at all, ever. And let's be honest, if he went for Demyx, the most he was going to get was kissing.

"Sorry, Xiggy. I'll only be a second, okay?" I bet it was Zexion, that slimy EMO cunt. He probably _knew_ that Xigbar and Demyx were about to kiss. "Hi?"

Naminé and I both gave each other "Well, isn't this shitty?" glances and leaned closer to the window we were listening from, trying to figure out who Demyx was on the phone to.

"Yeah... no... yeah... I'll – I'll call you back, okay?" There was another silence. "Sorry about that."

Xigbar sighed. "Was it Zexion?" I assume Demyx nodded, because Xigbar tutted in exasperation. "I hate that kid so much."

"_Why_? He's really cute... and..."

"Oh, and I'm not?" No, Xigbar, you're about as cute as the average wall. "It just sucks, you know? I know you like him. And I know it must be shitty for you because you don't know who you like more, me or him. But..."

"But?"

It was like listening to some sort of fucked up soap opera. "But he's a manipulative EMO bitch who reads Twilight and doesn't deserve someone as beautiful and amazing and perfect as you, and every time I look at you looking at him it's like I've been stabbed in the stomach, and last night when I went home I actually started crying at the thought of you and Zexion kissing."

I didn't even try and keep Naminé from squeeing. I was too busy trying not to do it myself.

"Aww, Xiggy!" Please let them kiss now, _please_ let them kiss now... "That's so sweet! But you can't be mean to Zexion just because you like me."

Yes, he can. Everyone should be mean to Zexion, always. "I know, Dem, but it's just..."

The bell rang. Naminé and I looked at each other – had it been that long already? – and started inching away, hearing Demyx and Xigbar exchanging their farewells. I tried to stay positive, but at this point it really did seem like Xigbar was never going to get any.

"Well, that was shitty," I said when we were safely out of the way. Demyx had gone in the other direction, off to Chemistry, and I knew Roxas and Axel would be headed this way any minute for their English lesson. Hopefully the two of them would kiss and make up before I got the chance to kick Axel's ass. Although considering he could talk to fire, we were pretty much evenly matched.

Don't tell him I said that, though.

**Roxas**

I completely ignored Axel and Axel completely ignored me.

We sat on opposite sides of the classroom when we arrived in double English. I sat with Pence, Hayner and Olette and Axel sat with Tidus, Selphie and Wakka. The thing was that Selphie was flirting with Tidus and Wakka, neither of whom really seemed to give a shit, so Axel seemed kind of left out. Hayner and Olette were flirting like hell too, but I still had Pence to talk to. And we did talk. For the five minutes that Xigbar spent giving out cookies and generally wasting time, we just kept talking about everything that we hadn't had a chance to talk about recently. See, between the fact that things had been getting really rough at home and the fact that Axel sauntered into my life and took all my attention, I'd barely talked to Pence for the past, say, two months. Being Pence, though, he welcomed me back into the circle like nothing had happened, like I hadn't broken Hayner's nose on Saturday and then stormed off without a word, like I was still the same boring Roxas and he was still the same naïve, pudgy Pence.

"So how're Megan and Demyx?" he asked, inching towards me a little so that we could talk a little quieter. "I noticed that all three of you seemed a little out of sorts yesterday, and I was just wondering..."

I sighed. I knew I could trust Pence, but to be honest it was kind of off-putting trying to talk to him with Axel looking at me every time he thought I wasn't looking. "Well, things haven't exactly been great..."

"Oh? You wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. "You can always come to me if you need me, you know that, right?"

"To be honest, all I really need at the moment is a hug." How much of a goddamn sap am I? "If that's okay, I mean..."

"Come here, you idiot blonde," he grinned, holding his arms open for me. Good old Pence. We hugged and he ruffled my hair a little, and for a few moments I could almost pretend that Axel wasn't on the other side of the room, trying really hard not to look at us.

"Hayner! Olette! Stop with the flirting, for God's sake!" Xigbar half-laughed, handing them both a sheet of paper. I pulled away from Pence, who for some reason was a little bit pink, and we both got a sheet too.

"Basically, I couldn't be assed to teach –"

"When have you _ever_ been assed to teach?" Hayner asked. Xigbar just rolled his eye.

"Shh. So I couldn't be assed to teach, and as such decided to find you guys a questionnaire about depression. It's confidential and optional and all that shit that teenagers love, I just wanted to see if I need to ship any of you off to Marluxia's office or invite you into the staff room for a cup of coffee or something." Basically, there was one specific person in the class that he was worried about, but he didn't want to call that person on it, so he was being discreet. I've always loved Xigbar.

I started filling out mine straight away, but Pence stared at his, chewing on the end of his pen nervously. "Roxas... I don't wanna do this."

"You don't have to if you don't want to." I shuffled closer to him. Pence was now officially more important than Axel and his stupid glances towards me. "Is there any reason you don't want to?"

He sighed. "I think I've got, like, three-quarters of these symptoms."

Oh.

Crap.

"Well, let's have a look," I said smoothly, trying not to appear too upset. "_Do you find yourself eating much more or much less food than you normally would_?"

"Uh-huh." I ticked that one. "Oh, and the one underneath it, _Do you find that you require much less or much more sleep than you normally would?_ I've been awake for fifty-three straight hours."

I sucked in a breath. "Okay..." Ticking the relevant box, I cast my eyes around the room. Hayner and Olette were giggling together over their questionnaires and Selphie and Tidus had cast theirs aside in favour of texting. Wakka and Axel were both filling them in unenthusiastically and everyone else seemed vaguely interested but not concerned by their result. I carried on running through Pence's questionnaire with him, my own sheet lying forgotten by our feet, until eventually we got his score.

Moderately depressed.

He shrugged. "Don't worry, Roxas, I'm sure it's –"

"Pence, this is a big deal," I interrupted, sounding more and more like my sister with every second that passed. "Do you want to go see Marluxia? Or Xigbar? Or..."

"Nah, it's fine. It's just... well, maybe I'll call you tonight. We need to have a catch-up anyway. It looks to me like something's gone down between you and Axel, am I right?"

I nodded. "But we're mostly talking about you, got it? I'm seriously worried, Pence. Depression isn't just a little quirk. It's a real thing and you need help if you want to... I don't know... kick its ass."

He nodded. "Thanks, Roxas. You're the best friend I could ask for."

Luckily Hayner and Olette were still flirting like crazy, or they might have been a little offended.

Pence and I spent the rest of the lesson talking about absolutely nothing, just the way that we always had. Just gibberish and in-jokes and references to movies that only fifteen people have ever actually watched. It felt so good, so normal and so comforting after all the shit with Dad and Axel and Demyx and Megan.

"You know, Roxas..." Pence said after a particularly long bout of laughter, "I really missed hanging out with you over the last few weeks."

I sighed. "I missed you too, Pence."

"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded, biting down on a hangnail. "Sure."

"Are you and Axel actually a thing? Because, see, I've got a crush on someone... and I was wondering if you had any advice..."

"Is it a guy?" I asked quietly, my eyes flicking over to Hayner. If it _was_ a guy, I could probably guess who...

"Yeah. I used to be terrified of even _thinking_ about it too much in case Hayner found out and started being a dick to me, but now..." He sighed. "Now I just want to find the guts to tell him that I like him."

Aww, poor Pence. "You just tell him. That's what I did with Axel. Worked pretty well for like, two days straight. Then we had a huge fight."

"Oh." He put a friendly arm around my shoulders. "You wanna talk about it or anything?"

I sighed heavily. I could. I could totally spend the last twenty minutes of the lesson bitching about Axel and the fact that he was a bitch about my siblings and that he was so fucking nonchalant about the whole fire thing and he barely _cared_ about my feelings... but that wouldn't be fair on Pence. "Nah. Maybe if I call you tonight."

He grinned at me. "You know, you can always come over if your... interesting... family is getting to be too much for you."

That was _so tempting_. But Megan would probably need me to make dinner...

"I'll see. Depends whose turn it is to make dinner tonight." That was a totally normal reason to turn down an invitation, right? "And Pence... thanks."

"For what? Hanging out with my best friend? You don't have to thank me for that, Roxas. It was my pleasure."

We spent the last fifteen minutes or so waiting for the bell in comfortable silence, not needing to speak because we could say it all tonight.

I had a feeling it would be one clusterfuck of a conversation.

xxx

It's kinda short, but...

I'm really tired right now. And miserable. And angry. And I feel strangely alone. So I'mma upload this chapter, write a little more of A million munny, which I will probably update tomorrow or the day after, and then go to bed. Hopefully, when I wake up in the morning, my inbox will be full of reviews.

Oh, and who thinks they can guess who Pence's crush is? ;D I love teasing you people.

By the power vested in me, I command you to REVIEW!


	18. Chapter 18

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

That was twice now that me Xigbar had literally been _this close_ to kissing. I was starting to think that it wouldn't ever happen. Maybe destiny was telling me that I should just go with Zexion. But the thought of _not_ choosing Xigbar was just as suckish as the thought of choosing him and losing Zexion. I sat down next to Megan at lunch and started picking apart my sandwich as slowly as I could. Megan was texting Marluxia with one hand and eating grapes with the other, and none of the others were anywhere to be seen. It was sort of peaceful, great for brooding over my epic love triangle thing.

"D'you wanna help me murder Axel?" Megan asked me, face set in deadly seriousness. Deadly being the operative word.

"Not really. You can't just kill everyone who bothers you, Megan." Do most big brothers have to tell their sisters things like this? "Roxas and Axel should at least get a chance to sort things out by themselves."

She just sighed and put her phone away. "Maybe you're right. Can I murder him at the end of the day?"

"Only if him and Roxas haven't made up," I told her firmly. Yes, that's right, _I_ told _her_ to do something for a change. Megan was so taken aback that she just blinked and nodded.

"Hey, Demyx." Zexion slipped into the seat next to me, book in one hand and lunch in the other, with one earphone in and the other dangling down. "Megan," he added, nodding at her.

She reached over and took hold of his iPod, reading the screen. "Escape The Fate? Ew."

"What? You one of those anally retentive Falling In Reverse fans?" he sneered. Megan looked incredibly annoyed at this.

"Says the guy who probably wanted to suck on Ronnie Radke before all the shit with –"

"Megan, chill," I said, laying a hand on her arm. "Zexion's allowed to like whichever bands he wants."

"But –"

"Just drop it," I told her, returning to my lunch. Zexion was sitting with his knee just touching mine, making my heart start pounding. It was moments like these when I began to regret telling him that I didn't want to go out with him.

Then again, this morning I had almost kissed Xigbar, and I was pretty happy about that, so...

"Um, Zexion?" I bit my lip. "Why is your hand on my knee?"

Megan looked like she was going to choke on her grape. That would've been quite impressive, actually. Grapes are pretty small, and not easy to choke on.

"I like your knee," he said simply, his hand moving slightly further up my leg. I could feel myself beginning to go pink. Maybe I should stop him...?

"Zexion, does Demyx _want_ your hand on his knee?" Megan asked sharply, intending for me to answer rather than him. She often did that.

"He isn't complaining about it," Zexion said smoothly, finishing the last of his lunch and opening his book. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because he's my brother and if you don't respect his boundaries then I won't respect your _face_," she growled, holding up a fist. Okay, maybe now was a good time to intervene. "Now, I'll ask you again. Does Demyx _want_ your hand on his knee?"

"Megan, calm down, it's fine." Zexion slid his hand a little further up my leg. "If I had a problem with it, I'd say so." She scowled at me. "I _promise_."

She got to her feet. "I need to go and find someone." My guess was either Xigbar or Axel. Although she _had _promised not to kill Axel until the end of the day... "Call me if you need me."

I decided it would be best not to mention that actually I'd left my phone at home today.

"So, Demyx..." It suddenly hit me that I was all alone with Zexion and a banana. "How's Xigbar?"

Now, I can't read people any better than I can read Japanese, but even I could sense that Zexion was up to something. "He's... he's fine, why d'you ask?"

"Well, I heard the most interesting rumour about you and him..." I swallowed. "I don't know how reliable Larxene is, but..."

"She's lying." I didn't even know what she had said, but she was probably lying. "Me and Xigbar... we're just..." But the phrase "just friends" didn't roll off the tongue the way it should have. "We're only..."

"Only what?" Zexion inched a little closer to me. "Are you _just friend_s, Demyx? _Really_?"

What was he _doing_?

"Uh... sure..." It felt so wrong lying to Zexion, but I didn't want to tell him that I was crushing on Xigbar. "Um... why is your hand, um, trying to get inside my shirt?"

He chuckled. "Don't you like it?"

"It feels weird..." I muttered before I could stop myself. "I – I mean..."

We were interrupted (I still don't know whether that was a good thing or not) by Pence, who scuttled over to our table looking dishevelled and smelling... oddly familiar.

"You smell like burnt fabric," Zexion greeted him with, moving slightly further away from me. Ah. Burnt fabric was one of the many things that added up to make the scent of Megan's bedroom.

"Yeah... uh, funny story..." Pence sat down opposite me, ironically in the seat Megan had just been in. "See... I was talking to Roxas..."

"Oh, is he okay? I know that him and Axel aren't really... happy with each other right now..." I had to pause midsentence because Zexion decided to lock his ankle with mine under the table. Dear David Bowie, the butterflies...

"He's fine. We were just hanging out, you know, and then Axel came over..." Oh. "I don't know exactly what happened, but my shoes caught fire and him and Roxas yelled at each other a little and then the fire went out and Roxas told me to come find you, I guess so that I wouldn't be in the way and – are you two holding hands?"

I suddenly noticed Zexion's pinky finger wrapped around my own. When did that happen? What?

"Pence, are _you_ okay?" I asked quietly, suddenly noticing the circles under his eyes and the forcedness of his smile. I was always a little slow to notice these things, but I did notice it. I noticed that his usually perky hair was drooping slightly and he was even pudgier and paler than normal, that he had food on his shirt and it was the same shirt as yesterday's, and that he didn't seem to care at all that his shoes apparently caught fire. "You look... a little..."

"Miserable." Oh, God, now Zexion was finishing my sentences for me. All we needed now was matching iPod covers and we'd be practically a married couple. "You look miserable, Pence."

He chuckled hollowly. "Yeah, just a little. See... I have a crush on this guy who –"

"Axel, just leave me the _fuck_ alone!" Roxas stormed in and threw himself into the chair next to Pence. Axel hovered by the cafeteria doorway, half angry and half pining. I was so glad that Megan wasn't here. She would be messing Axel up at this point.

"Roxas, can't we just talk about –"

"YOU SET FIRE TO MY BEST FRIEND, YOU IDIOT!" screamed Roxas, standing up. Uh-oh. "WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT WHEN YOU STOP BEING SUCH A FUCK-UP!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOUR BEST FRIEND WAS HITTING ON YOU!" Pence kept his eyes glued to the floor. Maybe setting fire to him was a bit excessive, but then, I wasn't there. "IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT IF YOU AND HIM HAVE BEEN GIGGLING ALL FUCKING DAY AND COMPLETELY IGNORING ME!"

I shrank closer to Zexion, who put an arm around me. I _hated_ fighting. "Axel, just _fuck off_. You're upsetting my brother. That isn't okay." Roxas took a step forwards. "We can talk about it later. But you stay away from my friends and you stay away from my family, got it?"

Sure, Axel may have just set fire to Pence, but in that moment Roxas was so fierce he probably could have killed Axel with nothing but a key. Axel recognised this, or maybe he just wanted Roxas to stop yelling at him, because he melted back out of the cafeteria and was gone. Roxas sat back down next to Pence and hid his face in his hands.

"Roxas, I'm really sorry for –"

"It wasn't your fault, Pence." His voice came out muffled and weak, but we all heard it. The few people who'd been in the cafeteria had gone deadly silent when the yelling started, and were now trying to rebuild the atmosphere of a normal cafeteria again. "He was being a dick before you and I started talking."

Pence put an arm around his shoulders. I noticed that Zexion still hadn't released me. "It'll be okay, Roxas. You two will sort it out."

Okay, call me an idiot, here, but... does Pence have a crush on Roxas?

And if so, why was he trying to help Roxas and Axel out?

"You okay, Demyx?" Zexion murmured in my ear, kissing me on the side on my head. Aww...

"I'm fine." I felt so guilty knowing that I'd basically lied to him about Xigbar, and that I was now cuddling with him even though I'd nearly kissed Xigbar and... "I'm fine, I promise."

The bell rang. I suddenly remembered that I had no idea where Megan was or what she was doing. Perhaps that was not a good thing. "Come on, Demyx, you've got Math now, right?" I nodded. "Let's get you to Math then."

Pence and Roxas both got to their feet. I think they both had Social Studies or something. Something that Axel would also be at, I knew that much. I almost felt sorry for him.

Almost. He yelled at Roxas.

That was not okay.

**Pence**

To be honest, even though it was convenient that Roxas thought I was depressed, I think that I was just plain lovesick. When I'd asked Olette how to tell that you're in love, she said something like "Sleepless nights, fluctuations in your weight, constantly thinking about the girl you like and not being able to concentrate on anything else."

That sounded like me, all right.

I started comfort-eating more and more the less time I spent with _that particular guy_. And when _that particular guy_ stopped talking to me altogether in favour of someone skinnier and prettier than me, I got even worse. I couldn't even complain to Hayner and Olette about it, because Hayner was a tad homophobic to say the least and Olette would probably pass anything I said onto him anyway. My only consolation was knowing that he was, at least, happy, and that his relationship with a certain redhead was more or less doomed because it was happening far too fast and it didn't even seem consensual, since it arose out of relentless one-sided flirting and some alcohol at Seifer's party. But seeing him so upset after the argument or whatever he had with his brand-new boyfriend, I couldn't help but feel awful. I didn't want him to stare miserably into the distance and force smiles and only talk to me to avoid confronting the redhead on the other side of Xigbar's classroom. I wanted him to be genuinely happy, and whether or not that involved me, well, time could tell better than I could.

So when Roxas and I were on our way to Social Studies, I slowed down on purpose, hoping that there would only be two seats left when we got there. And I was right: there was one seat next to Olette, and one next to Axel. Before Roxas could say, do or think pretty much anything, I darted across the room to sit next to Olette, giving Roxas a "Really really sorry, bro" look before starting to get my stuff out of my bag. He just shrugged, probably taking pity on poor little depressed me, and sat in the seat by Axel, keeping his chair as far away as possible from the redhead. I glanced at the guy behind them – Chris, I think – and took out my cell phone. Was his number on here? Over the years I had accumulated the numbers of most people in my grade and the grade above, just in case I ever needed help with homework or something. And sure enough, I found Chris McClain and dialled his number, slipping the headphones into my ear and leaning on my desk with one elbow so that no one noticed the white wire trailing from my ear to my cell under the desk.

His phone went off unnoticed in his bag. Hopefully...

Yep. When he took out his pencilcase he unknowingly accepted the call, then dropped his bag in front of his desk. Now I could hear everything going on between Axel and Roxas.

"Roxas..."

"Shut the fuck up, Axel."

"Can't you just –"

"No."

Olette looked at me questioningly, the only person in the room at the right angle to see the wire of my cellphone. I just gave her a _I'll explain later _look and turned up the volume on the earphone.

"Look. I'm sorry about burning Pence."

"Like fucking hell you are."

I squirmed in my seat, feeling more than a little guilty about worsening the rift between Roxas and Axel. Still, some things couldn't really be helped, and at least I was doing what I could to help.

"Roxas, it's not my fault. Just hear me out."

Considering I still wasn't sure quite how Axel had set fire to me, I was really hoping that Roxas would hear him out, so I could hear the explanation for my shoes suddenly catching fire. And when Roxas was silent, I listened intently, waiting for one of them to speak up.

"Considering that the whole argument started with the fire thing –"

Axel cut him off. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that your sister was right again. I'm sorry that I hate seeing you with any guy other than me. I'm sorry that you're a stubborn idiot and I'm sorry that I'm in love with you. I'm sorry that I can control fire, and I'm sorry for being so fucking annoying. Please stop being mad at me."

So he could control fire.

There was a rumour going around that Megan was learning to control fire, and now apparently Axel could do it too. And yet, even being tall and intimidating and cocky as all hell and controlling _fire, _he was begging Roxas to forgive him.

Hmm.

"Axel..." The silence lasted so long that I had to check my earphones. "Look. I'm sorry for yelling at you and overreacting and everything. But..."

"But? But what?" _But I'm in love with Pence and we're gonna elope and make babies?_ Optimism was not helping me in this particular situation.

"But... well, it feels like everything is going way too fast and..." He sighed so heavily that I could've heard it even without the earphones. "Can we just... I don't know... calm down a little?"

Axel was quiet. "You wanna act less like hormonal teenage boys and more like a cutesy couple."

I don't think I could stand it if the two of them were actually _cute_ together.

"Well... yeah, that'd be nice." Roxas's voice was tentative, hopeful... kind of how I felt whenever I talked to Roxas, if I'm honest.

"How about we go for a walk by the beach after school, then? Demyx seems relatively okay at the moment and Megan is, well, Megan. They can live without you just for one night, right?"

"Mm-hmm." He sounded reluctant now. I knew that he was always worried about Demyx for reasons not apparent to me. I knew that Roxas would have his reasons, though.

"C'mon, Roxas, don't look like that. They'll be fine without you. If you're really worried about them, maybe you need to talk to Marluxia or someone about –"

"No. I hate Marluxia." Roxas had hated Marluxia for as long as I can remember, for no real reason other than his overwhelming femininity and his odd ability to actually understand Megan.

Speaking of Megan, she had hunted me down at lunchtime and talked to me about Roxas. Unlike most people, I wasn't all that scared of Megan. I knew what she was capable of physically, like everyone else, but I also knew her mental limitations. She refused on principle to do anything that would hurt either of her brothers in the slightest. That meant that she would never lay a finger on me, Hayner or Olette unless something big had shifted between us and Roxas, because of course it would pain Roxas to see us hurt. For the same reason, Xigbar and Zexion were one hundred percent safe from Megan. So when I had found myself cornered by her in the English corridor, I hadn't been afraid.

"Pence," she had said, clutching her side in a way that suggested she'd rushed there, "what do you know about Axel and Roxas?"

I'd been reluctant to talk about it at all, knowing that, as pussyish as this is, I was on the verge of tears thinking about that _thing_ – uh, I mean, guy – who had stolen – befriended, I mean – Roxas. But I had told her that they weren't speaking to each other, and that Roxas was miserable without him, all of this while chewing hard on my left thumb and staring into space.

And then Megan had done something that really took me by surprise.

She had asked me whether she was doing the right thing.

Everyone who has ever come into contact with Megan knows that she doesn't give one quarter of a fuck about right or wrong. She will break every single rule in every single book for the sake of Roxas and Demyx. And then there's the fact that she has a reputation to uphold, meaning that she has to stick up for herself as well. Everyone pictures her as this mindless killing machine, but I know better. Anyone who has spent the night at Roxas's house knows better. She sings to Demyx when he's freaking out, she helps Roxas with his French homework, and she has a teddy bear. Whether something was right or wrong never crossed her mind, at least as far as most people were concerned. She just hit things that annoyed her.

But even I was surprised that she cared about my opinion, and that she was stopping to consider her actions before carrying them out. And I had just nodded, and let her walk off, and that was probably the only chance I had to pull Axel and Roxas apart, and I didn't take it, because –

"I love you."

I was pulled away from my own cliché inner turmoil by the soft voice that whispered out of my earphones. Axel and Roxas were still talking.

_You don't love him, Axel_, I thought, taking out the earphone and ending the call to the kid in front of them. _Maybe after you walk to his house at two in the morning because he thinks he heard a ghost, maybe after you give him up to someone prettier than you and just sit on the sidelines and hope, and maybe after you throw yourself between him and a car without a second thought, maybe if you do everything that I did for him and then more, I'll believe that you love Roxas more than I do. But I hope that you suffer for it first. You deserve this pain just as much as I do._

"Pence? Pence, what's the matter?" I looked up at Olette but for some strange reason, she was blurry. "Sir, can I take Pence to Aeris or something? He's a little upset."

Shit. Was I crying?

Olette had to pull me out of my seat. From behind us there was an aggressive scraping noise, and I turned to see Roxas on his feet, his forehead creased in worry. "Pence?" he asked. I smiled weakly at him.

"Don't worry, Roxas," I said, as Olette tugged me towards the door, gathering up the stares of everyone in the room. "I'll be okay."

It was the biggest lie I ever told.

**Roxas**

I dived into the bathroom between Social Studies and French, hoping against hope I would find Pence in there. I had only ever seen him cry once, the day his dog died, and it was something I had never wanted to see again. Maybe something had happened between him and Hayner. Maybe he was just cracking up, knowing that the guy he liked could never like him back.

I looked around at the greying white paint on the bathroom walls and the mirrors that were cracked around the corners. I imagine I pissed Axel off a little, because one minute I was at his side and the next I was gone, having slipped between Yuffie and some blonde chick and through the bathroom door.

"Pence?" I called out, leaning against the sink. Today was just too much for me. Axel was so... I don't know, volatile? One minute he seemed like he didn't care, and then he cared too much and set fire to Pence, and then he cared just enough to make me forgive everything ever. Then there was the fact that Zexion and Demyx _looked_ like a couple, _acted_ like a couple, and _should_ be a couple, but were, at least according to Megan, _not_ a couple, which pissed me off far more than it should have. I couldn't think of any reason why they wouldn't be. I mean, at Seifer's party Zexion had mentioned kissing Neku who graduated last year, but that was quite clearly over and done with.

"Pence?" I called out again. There was a chuckle from my left, and whirled to see Hayner, a bandage over the bridge of his nose and two of his fingers bound together and bandaged tightly. I had done a decent job considering all I had was a chair. He smirked at me, hands on his hips, head tilted slightly sideways.

"Looking for Pence? He's still at Aeris's office." He took a step forwards. "I heard a rumour that he's got depression."

I shrugged, deciding on the spot to deny everything ever. "I didn't hear that. Who told you?"

He smirked even wider. "The same person who told me why he was crying in Social Studies." He snorted. "_Crying_. Over some unrequited love. How sweet, huh?"

"Hayner..." Hayner has some good points, but catch him on the wrong day and he will douchebag you to death. "What do you know about Pence that I don't? Because I'm sort of really worried about him."

I let my eyes stray to the wall behind Hayner. I was surprised that the bloodstain from last month was still there, to be honest. I was in the room when it was put there. Demyx was having a shitty day, and... well, you can imagine. "He's got a crush, Roxas. Well, not so much as a crush as a heartbreaking devotion to someone who's got someone else."

Shit. Hayner found out. God, this was shit. He was going to break Pence into tiny little pieces just because he was so narrow-minded that he couldn't put up with other people's feelings.

"And how would _you_ know that?" I demanded, clenching my fists tightly. Why did I stay friends with this dick? And more importantly, what the _fuck_ did Pence see in him?

"Because it's _obvious_, Roxas. Do you know who it is that he's in love with?" Hayner folded his arms.

"Yeah, do you?"

He grinned. In the background, under the sound of ringing in my ears and the constant dripping from one of the more broken sinks, the bell went. I could not have cared less. "Yes. But Roxas... I don't think that it's who you think it is."

"Oh? Well, I'd _love_ to hear your opinion on something you know nothing about," I sarcasmed. (I still think it should be a verb.) "Go on. Who is it?"

"It's _you_." I raised an eyebrow, completely indifferent because, let's face it, that was bullshit. "If you don't believe me, fine. But think about it. Why else would Axel hate him so much?"

I scoffed. "Axel doesn't hate Pence."

"Then explain the strange connection between you, Pence and Axel having a conversation, Pence's shoes catching fire, and Megan's conviction that Axel is a Fire Whisperer." Hayner started for the door. "I hope I've just ruined your day, Roxas, because you ruined mine when you hit me with that chair."

"For fuck's sake, Hayner, you don't honestly expect me to believe –"

With one hand on the door handle, Hayner turned to give me a winning smile. "Believe what you want. But you have the choice between sending Pence over the edge and in front of another car, or unleashing your boyfriend's fury on yourself and your best friend."

_Another _car? Was Hayner referring to the time when Pence saved me from that car when I was, erm, a little tipsy? I didn't remember that too clearly. I never thought that Pence actually endangered himself for me. The way he and Olette had told it, it sounded like he'd just grabbed me by the arm and tugged me away. While it seemed more likely that Hayner was bullshitting me than Olette or Pence, I was starting to doubt everything I thought I knew. If Hayner knew that Pence was depressed...

_No, he's just going out of his way to piss you off. He just practically said as much. _I took a deep breath. "Thanks for letting me know, Hayner. I'll talk to him." I glanced in the mirror. "We'd both better get back to class, huh?"

Feeling sort of shellshocked, I traipsed out of the bathroom to wherever I was meant to be, muttered an excuse to the teacher I was supposed to mutter excuses to, and sat down beside Axel, who looked at me worriedly, kissed me on the side of the head, and went back to the work we were meant to be doing, probably assuming that I'd tell him tonight.

I wasn't even sure whether I wanted to spend tonight with him any more. If Hayner was telling the truth...

I suddenly remembered something quite interesting Olette had let slip to me a while back. "When Hayner's lying, or at least not telling the truth, he taps his middle finger with the thumb of the other hand." It sounded a lot like Megan and her habit of clicking her tongue in her mouth when she was in pain. A dead giveaway that could be Hayner's complete undoing.

And as far as I could remember – and I had to absolutely rack my brains for this, I admit – I don't think that Hayner did any tapping.

So he was telling the truth.

Fuck.

Everything seemed to fly by in French and then... whatever was after French. Either another period of French, or Spanish. I couldn't bring myself to care. My mind was occupied with mapping out various scenarios in which Axel found out about Pence's crush on me, which wouldn't make him overwhelmingly happy, or Pence killed himself because of me, or – my personal favourite – it turned out that Hayner was just being a dick and actually Pence was crushing on Naminé's older brother or something. That one would be great.

As soon as the last bell rang, I stumbled out of class, trying to clear my head enough to get to the bus. "Roxas?" Axel put a hand on my shoulder. "Roxas, c'mon. I'll take you to my place. You look kinda upset."

Saying I was "kinda upset" was like saying that Megan was "kinda aggressive" or that Demyx was "kinda naïve". Still, I felt numb all over, and I figured that I may as well follow Axel.

I can only remember the thoughts that were bouncing around my skull as I walked to wherever the fuck I was walking. Which would be worse – if Hayner had just lied and managed to completely fuck up my day, which would make him very very happy, or if he was telling the truth, and everything was but a few words away from going to shit?

"Roxas." I found Axel's face with my eyes. "You're scaring me. Say something, please?"

"Um..." I reached out and took hold of Axel's hand. I think we were on his front doorstep. "I just... everything's just..."

"Shh. Let's get you inside. I'll make you some hot chocolate and we can go to my room and..."

I zoned out again.

I couldn't stop thinking about Pence. And Hayner and Olette.

Would Olette know? I'm pretty sure she would've told me. Although if Pence had told her to keep it quiet...

"There we go," Axel murmured, guiding me into a chair and moving into a kitchen-like space to start boiling water. "You like hot chocolate, right?"

"Mm..." I looked up at the ceiling and examined the tiny black dots dancing across it. Wait, what? I blinked hard and the dots faded.

"Here you go," Axel said softly, handing me a dark red mug that was steaming merrily and kissing me on the forehead. I smiled and sipped the painfully hot liquid in the mug. It could have been boiled socks for all I knew. I didn't care any more. I just needed a break. "What's wrong, gorgeous?"

"Everything is shit," I said simply, watching him sit down next to me and feeling like I was watching him through a sheet of cling film. "Demyx with Zexion and Megan being Megan and Pence being depressed and us fighting and..."

"Shh," said Axel, slipping an arm around my shoulders. "I think you need some time off, Roxie. You're probably just tired and stressed. I can help you with that."

He leaned closer to me, his tongue darting out to rid my top lip of leftover hot chocolate. I sucked in a breath and leaned away slightly, trying to clear my head. My mind could only home in on one thing at a time and at the moment, all I could see, hear and think of was Axel. That was by no means a bad thing.

"Roxas..." he breathed, moving closer and cupping my chin with one hand like you see in the movies. "Can I kiss you?"

I nodded, breathless and dizzy, no thought coming into my head except _Axel_ over and over again.

Maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed. I was making out with my boyfriend and I had hot chocolate. Demyx was almost definitely safe and sound with Megan...

"Roxas..." Axel pulled away and looked me in the eye. "I love you."

I shifted in my seat slightly. "I..."

The words got stuck in my throat. We'd only been together for a few days. I bit my lip, looked at the floor.

_Imagine if it were Pence instead_, whispered a vindictive voice in my head. _Imagine if Axel had never shown up and the guy you friendzoned was the one saying those three words right now. Imagine..._

"Can you take me home?" I blurted out. Axel gave me one look, one look filled with disappointment and heartbreak and anger, and then stood up.

"Sure, Roxie. C'mon."

He smiled warmly at the wall behind me.

_You just fucked everything up_, I thought to myself, looking down at the floor. _You just fucked every last little thing up._

xxx

I'll give those bitches some Zemyx. Bitches love Zemyx.

Poor lickle Pence, being all rotund and carrot-like and not Axel. He'll find love, you know, but not in Roxas. Probably in McDonald's instead.

If I seem a little weird right now, it's because I am. I told my crush that I like her, and she was very flattered, and then she went back to talking about the guy that she liked. Then I heard this rumour that some random guy I never even speak to likes me, and then my stepdad was a bitch to me and then my mum asked me how I feel about divorce.

So I feel like shit and I would really quite like some reviews because you sexy people make me smile, and I want to know what your thoughts are on this chapter, and this fic in general, and how you want it to end, and whether you would even bother reading a sequel. All of my loves and metaphorical cookies go to you. Now give me your love in the form of reviews.


	19. Chapter 19

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

Megan was lying on the sofa with her cellphone in one hand and her Chemistry homework in the other, talking Naminé through question seven in a surprisingly patient voice. I gave her one last look, wanting to make sure she was okay, and then slipped out of the room to go and use my own cellphone.

"Hey, Xigbar," I said, leaning against my bedroom wall and bending down to scratch behind Bowie's ears.

"Demyx! Hey!" Aw, he actually sounded happy to hear from me. Zexion only ever expresses emotion in smirks and scowls. "How are you, kid?"

"I'm not a kid," I said, sounding exactly like a kid. "And I'm fine. How're you?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, um, I'm... I'm okay." Even I could tell that that was a lie. "What are you doing tonight, then?"

"Xiggy, are you _really _okay?" I asked softly. "You can tell me."

Bowie started trying to climb up my leg. I slid down the wall I was leaning on and sat cross-legged on the floor, letting her clamber onto my lap, where she curled up and began purring loudly. "Aha... well... I'm fine, really, just..."

"Xiggy_,_" I said softly, "you aren't fine."

There was a long silence, tainted only by Bowie's purring and Megan laughing downstairs. "Well... I've been better."

I took a deep breath. "How about you and I get an ice cream together or something?" I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone, and Xigbar sounded like he really needed a hug. "Roxas is with Axel and Megan's on the phone to Naminé, so I kind of don't have much to do anyway."

"That would be really great. Give me like ten minutes and I'll meet you outside the ice cream place in Tram Common."

"Great!" I started looking around my room, trying to figure out what I was going to wear. "See you then."

"See you soon, DemDem." I bit back a smile. I really liked being called DemDem. "Don't bother bringing any cash, I'll pay for you."

Before I could argue this, Xiggy hung up. Anyway, I didn't have enough cash for an ice cream even if I'd wanted to pay for myself.

Okay... jeans. Skinny or not skinny? Black or blue? Or the grey ones? Nah, the grey ones were too gay even for me. Then again, if I was going for an ice cream with a guy, would I be better off looking gay?

"Help me, Bowie," I pleaded to the purring lump on my lap. Surprisingly, she stood up, stretched, and hopped off my lap. "What are you..." She walked over to my bed and began dragging a pair of trousers out from underneath it. "Oh my gosh! Bowie, those are perfect!"

I pulled on my old, almost-forgotten jeans, a white T-shirt, and the same jacket I had lent Roxas on Saturday. The only thing was that on Roxas, it was a bit too big, and on me, it was a bit too small. Oh, well.

I stopped on my way to the door, a sudden, cold, malicious thought coming into my head. "I shouldn't..."

Megan was downstairs and Roxas was with Axel. I was going to need every last ounce of energy and resolve for tonight, trying to figure out my feelings for Xigbar and my feelings for Zexion...

Seven deep cuts and three blood-soaked antiseptic wipes later I was downstairs. "Hey, Megs, I'm going to go grab an ice cream. Tell Nami I say hi."

She waved at me, still on the phone and now on question fourteen with Naminé. "Dem says hi, Nami," she said. Then she paused. "Naminé sends a hug for you and a hug for Rox as well."

I smiled, hoping against hope that Megan couldn't tell what I had just been doing in my room. "See you later," I called, heading for the door and bolting through it, making sure it was shut behind me.

I hated this whole situation. I was never angry at anyone else. I couldn't explain why I was angry or who made me angry or when the anger arrived and left. But anger and confusion and misery just piled up and instead of taking it out on everyone else, like Megan, I allowed it to build up, and then every now and then it would just all come flowing out again, either in the form of hurting other people, or in the form of hurting myself. And since I always felt sick to the stomach with guilt after I hurt someone else, I usually went for hurting myself instead.

I arrived at the ice cream place in Tram Common with about three minutes to spare, so I sat down and took out my phone, deciding to check –

"_No_," I whispered. "No, no, please, no..."

The blood was soaking through the bandages and onto the inside of my sleeve, and any minute now it was going to show up on my jacket.

"Demyx?" I looked up to see Yuffie in a cute little hat, holding a tray. "Are you okay?"

"You work here, right?" She nodded. "Could you go grab me a napkin or something? Please?"

She smiled. "Sure thing, Dem." Within seconds she was back, four or five napkins clutched in her hand. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I slipped the bright red (convenient, really) napkins up my sleeve and began pressing down, trying to stop the blood from gushing everywhere. Blood is not particularly attractive. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said breezily, noticing that the water in the vase to my right was starting to slosh around for no reason. "Um... how are you?"

She sat down opposite me and grinned. The water next to me calmed down a little. Clearly it was me affecting it. "I'm great," she said. "I was talking to Pence earlier. He comes here a lot. I think he kinda likes me."

"That's brilliant," I said distractedly, peering inside my sleeve again. So far no blood had actually become visible on the outside of my jacket, which was always a good thing, and it looked like I was almost finished bleeding. "Your hair looks nice today."

"Aw, thank you," she said. "I love your jeans. What are you doing here, can I ask?"

"Meeting someone," I admitted, feeling myself go a little pink. The vase bubbled slightly, as excited and nervous as I was. "He should be here soon."

"How soon is soon? I was hoping to pick your brain about –"

"DemDem!" I looked up to see Xigbar coming towards us, looking actually really amazing and prompting the water in the vase next to me to begin churning again. "You okay?"

"He's great." Yuffie got out of the seat opposite me and shoved Xigbar into it instead. "I need to get back to washing up. Go order ice cream whenever you're ready."

I moved my hand away from my wrist, the bloodied napkins still up my sleeve, and waved at Yuffie as she retreated to the kitchen. "So are you really okay?" I asked quietly, biting down on my lip.

Xigbar shrugged. "It's just... I saw you with Zexion today. And I know that you really like him, and..."

"I really like you, as well." I glanced at the vase next to me. I needed to just leave it alone, really, before the water slopped over the edges and landed on me. "The thing is that you two are so different..."

"But I'm better?" he finished hopefully, sitting up a little straighter. I sighed.

"Xiggy..." I looked at the floor. "That's the problem. I don't know which one of you is "better". I don't know what I want or why I want it or anything. I just... I don't want to have to choose."

"I know, Dem." He reached across the table and took hold of my hand. "I just want you to know that I really, really like you, and even if you pick that short-ass EMO, I'll still wanna be your friend. All right?"

"Yeah." I nearly flinched when his hand shifted on mine, worried that he was going to notice the cuts. "Um..."

"I'm gonna go get us both some ice cream. What flavour do you want?"

"You don't have to –" He cut me off with a glare worthy of Megan, clearly determined to buy me an ice cream. "Chocolate, I guess."

He left. I peeked down my sleeve again. The bleeding had stopped and the pre-existing blood was beginning to dry. That was okay. I was going to be okay. Reaching inside my sleeve as surreptitiously as I could, I removed the napkins and dropped them into the bin next to me. Then I picked up my phone.

(1) New Message

I pressed "Open Message" and waited for it to load. I could do with a new phone, really, but between my sleepy pills and the whole family's Oreo addiction, we couldn't really afford it. The text was from Zexion. I swallowed hard.

_Hey there Demyx. Just felt like saying hi. You okay after all that shit with Roxas and Axel this lunchtime? I think they've made up, anyway. Btw, have you ever read Twilight? -Zexy xx_

Of course Roxas and Axel made up, they're astonishingly, blatantly, beautifully in love. Which was why Pence was gorging himself on ice cream earlier, if Yuffie was telling the truth about him being here.

_Hey :) Never read Twilight. Megan would kill me. And I'm fine, I was just a little bit shaken by all the yelling. I'm kind of soft. How are you? xx _

I shut my phone again and looked up. Xigbar was talking to Yuffie, who had that "Helping people" look on her face that usually inspires everyone to run for the hills and never look back. Naminé was a little like that as well, actually. Perhaps it's a teenage girl thing.

_I'm fine. You should read Twilight. It's good. And you aren't soft, Dem. You're perfect. xx _

I'm perfect? Aww. I grinned down at my phone, sort of forgetting that I was with Xigbar and he liked me too.

_N'aww, Zexy, I'm not really perfect :P But thanks. And I don't think you understand quite how opinionated my sister is. If she found out that I was reading Twilight then she would disown me. Remember how she reacted at lunch when she saw that you were listening to Escape The Fate? xx _

"There you go," said Xigbar, handing me a chocolate ice cream and sitting down opposite me with his own lemon thing. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." My phone, lying on the table, vibrated. "Kinda tired, but fine."

"Who's texting you?" asked Xigbar as I began demolishing my chocolate ice cream. If I actually had any cash I would pay for it myself, but I didn't, so I couldn't.

"Um, probably Megan," I lied. A little lie. Just a little white lie, like "I left my homework at home" or "No, these cuts aren't new".

_You ARE perfect, don't you dare deny it. And Megan shouldn't control you xx_

I bit my lip, feeling chocolate ice cream start to drip onto my hand as I texted back: _Whatever you say. I'm really not perfect. Meg doesn't control me. She just has trouble keeping her thoughts to herself xx_

"I wish she wouldn't," Xigbar said quietly. I looked up to see his eye fixed intently on me. "I wish I had your _undivided attention_."

I couldn't tell whether that was sinister or attractive. I was leaning towards attractive.

"You can have it now," I said, turning my phone off. I was kind of irritated at Zexion for saying that Megs controlled me, anyway. And he clearly had a very skewed idea of perfect. That, or he didn't know me at all.

"Demyx?" I had managed to rid my hand of melted chocolate ice cream. "You remember this morning, when we nearly kissed?"

"You think I'd forget that?" I half-laughed, my tongue twisting round my ice cream.

"Well... thing is... what would we have done if someone walked in?"

I shrugged. "Lied like rugs, I suppose." I tilted my head to the side. "What's that song they're playing at the moment called?"

"It's "Kiss Me", by Sixpence None The Richer. Haven't you heard it before?"

_Leave the water in the vase alone, Demyx_, I told myself sternly.

"Yeah, just forgot its name," I said easily. _Of course they would play **this stupid song** while I'm with Xigbar_, I thought, starting to tap my foot on the floor. "Um..."

"Demyx, you have ice cream on your face. C'mere." I swallowed but leaned forwards. Xigbar took hold of my chin, looked me dead in the eye with something soft and sweet in his face –

"Well, well, well, look what we have here." I sprung backwards, nearly toppling my chair over, and turned to look at the newcomer. As always, we had been _this close_ to kissing. _This freaking close_. "Isn't this just fascinating?"

"Nice to see you, Larxene," I said tiredly, settling down slightly. There would be another time. And it could be worse. "Never had you pinned as an ice cream enthusiast, to be honest."

She smiled, practically dripping evil. "Well, I saw you two over here and I just _had_ to come over and say hi," she cooed. "Imagine the shock when I saw you both about to –"

"We weren't." I looked at Xiggy in confusion. Had we both said that at the same time? "Look, Larxene," Xigbar continued, "it's lovely to see you and everything, but could you just... go somewhere else?"

"Nope." She pulled a chair over to our table and sat down, propping her chin up on her elbow. "So what are you two doing here if you aren't on a date?"

"Just eating ice cream," I said with a shrug. Well, we _were_ just eating ice cream. True, something else _could_ have happened, but she interrupted it. "What are you doing in Tram Common, anyway?"

She giggled, which was rather frightening. "I heard a rumour that Marluxia and Vexen come by here quite often, if you must know. I wanted to know whether it's true that Flowerboy is sleeping with that psycho."

"What do you mean, sleeping with him?" I asked. Xigbar and Larxene exchanged glances.

"Just ignore her, Demyx, she's being stupid." Fair enough. I returned to my ice cream, wondering whether I should turn my phone back on and find out whether Zexy had texted me back. "Larxene, what is it with you and poking around in other people's business?"

She shrugged. "I'm no worse than Megan. Ain't it weird that you morons _adore_ her and her meddling, but the second I start doing it, I get shit?"

"Maybe it's because she's only ever acting in my or Roxas's best interests, whereas you..." I trailed off at the disdainful look that she gave me.

Xigbar scowled at her. He was cute when he scowled. Wait, what? "Larxene, I think you should leave."

"Oh, so you can carry on feeling Demyx up because he's too thick to realise what a creep you are?" Larxene chuckled. "I'm sure Megan would find all of this very interesting, you know."

"Megan already knows," I said calmly, not all that offended at being called thick. Megan calls the toaster worse things than that.

"Then why's she letting you run all over Twilight Town with him?" she demanded, jerking a thumb in Xigbar's direction. Xigbar himself looked really irritated. I took hold of his hand under the table and squeezed it. "I would've thought she would insist on lickle Demyx staying home and retaining his innocence."

I sighed. "Larxene, you wanna know what I think? I think you want attention. You want to be listened to and feared, the same as Megan in fact. The difference is that Megan has me and Roxas to keep her in check, so she's never really malicious, just sort of aggressive. And she has something that she's fighting for. You fight without a reason. _That_ is why she's so loved, and you feel like you aren't."

Xigbar and Larxene both stared at me.

"What?" I said, a little offended at their shock. "I can be deep sometimes, you know."

Xigbar started stroking my hand under the table. "I know," he said quietly. "You're amazing."

"What was that, Xigbar?" Larxene said loudly. She got to her feet. "If you two are just going to sit here holding hands, I'm leaving. I have more interesting people to bother, anyway."

I waved as she left, and for half a second she seemed to forget herself and raised her hand to wave back, but then hid it as a scratch of the head instead.

"Well..." Xigbar put his hand on top of the table, taking mine with it, as I polished off my ice cream. His own lemon thingy seemed to have disappeared, so you know, he'd probably already eaten it. "She's an interesting kid."

"She's somewhere in between Meg and Naminé," I said contemplatively. "Like, she's aggressive and interfering like Megan, but she's actually just looking for approval, like Nami. You know what I mean?"

Xigbar just looked at me and I felt myself go pink.

"Demyx," he said, "did your sister ever actually succeed in teaching you to talk to fire?"

_That came out of nowhere_, I thought. "Well... she taught me to talk to _something_..." I admitted, glancing nervously at the vase by my head.

"Let me guess." He leaned back slightly. "Water."

I opened my mouth, closed it, and opened it again. How did he know that? Not even Megan had noticed that yet! "How did you..."

"How'd I guess?" He grinned at me. "Megan's onto something, you know. Being able to manipulate an element is pretty common."

"Really?" I said, watching Xigbar's thumb move back and forth across the back of my hand. "How common, exactly?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Not everyone flaunts it the way that your sister does, and anyway, some people are good at it, and others just have one or two freak accidents every now and again. And I kind of noticed earlier, you and that vase..."

I smiled in spite of myself. "I only realised I could do it a little while ago, and really, it's not that big of a deal..."

"Well, nothing is a big deal until people begin to care. And people can't care if they don't know."

I bit my lip. "I nearly spilled that water all over the place, you know," I said, gesturing to the vase. "I've been kind of freaking out tonight."

"Because of me?" I nodded slowly, not meeting Xigbar's gaze. "Don't worry, DemDem. I don't bite, you know. I'm actually pretty friendly... if you're on the right side of me."

"Am I on the right side of you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"What do you think? Of _course_ you're on the right side of me."

I smiled, hoping that he didn't hear my stomach start to scream for food. "Good to know. I quite like you myself."

"Was that your stomach?" Oh, David Bowie's underpants, that was so embarrassing. "C'mon, I'll buy you something decent to eat."

"You don't need to –"

"Demyx, shut the fuck up, I'm going to buy you food if it kills me." He stood up, still holding my hand, so I had to stand up with him. "What d'you want to eat?"

_Something cheap because I feel bad about you spending so much on me_. "Uh, I don't know. I wouldn't mind pizza."

"Pizza it is, then," Xigbar said, tugging me by the hand out of Tram Common. "I know this place that does the greatest pizza, it's a little expensive, but..."

"You know, Xiggy, you don't need to buy me food." I twisted my fingers around his. "I can always eat when I get home."

"It's fine," he said. "Anyway, the more food I buy you, the longer you'll stay here with me."

"_Xiggy_, you idiot, I'd stay with you anyway," I told him, letting go of his hand and slipping an arm around his waist instead, hanging onto his shirt. He slid one of his arms around my shoulders, pulling me closer as we walked, and I didn't miss the smile that snuck onto his face. "Honestly, you don't need to buy me _anything_ if you don't want to."

"I just wanna make you smile is all." I smiled. Of course. "You have a gorgeous smile."

"So do you," I said, and we carried on in lovesick silence.

xxx

Sorry it's so short, but if I'd put in the next bit with Megan it would have been insufferably long. So I kept it to just a sweet lil XigDem chapter for you guys :3

Everything's been all over the place for me recently so I've been writing as often as I can, but sadly that isn't very often. But I'm still writing because I love all of you, and I want you all to love me too. You can show your love for me by clicking the smexy new Review button right underneath this author's note. Go on, click it. Click it NOW. I wuv yous all.


	20. Chapter 20

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

I finally finished doing Chemistry over the phone with a grounded Naminé and reclined on the sofa, reaching for the TV remote. I knew that Demyx was with Xigbar (otherwise I probably wouldn't have let him go; we really don't need that kid wandering around Twilight Town on his own) and Roxas was with Axel, thank fuck, because I didn't need him moping all over the house when I was trying to do stuff, and it really did pain me to see him upset.

Just as I was about to choose between Spongebob Squarepants and the benign cooking show with the old guy who probably couldn't see the carrots, let alone chop them, there was a knock at the door. I sighed and half-fell, half-rolled off the sofa, dodged the coffee table (Demyx's shins are littered with bruises from the times when he forgot to dodge said table) and sauntered to the front door.

"Hey, Megan." Roxas brushed past me and sulked up the stairs, leaving me with Axel. Shit.

"He seems kind of upset," I remarked, placing my hands on my hips. "Would you have had anything to do with that?" _Because you're going to be one sorry motherfucker if that's the case._

He held up his hands in defence. "It was nothing to do with me! I've been looking after him and everything, I gave him hot chocolate, but..." He trailed off hopelessly, clearly upset that his hot chocolate had failed him. "I think he's just exhausted, and really stressed about everything, you know what I mean?"

I nodded. "Look, just... don't worry about it. I'll look after him. You get yourself home."

He half-smiled. It felt like we were under some sort of truce, or at least a ceasefire, until Roxas came back to himself. "Sure thing. See you in school tomorrow, Megan."

"See you then." I shut the door and turned away, taking in a deep breath. Okay. What would be the best way to help Rox out? Go straight in and talk to him or wait for him to come to me?

Impatience was stronger than sisterly concern and I thudded up the stairs, hoping I wasn't going to find out that I had just let Axel wander off when he was the reason that Roxas was so upset.

I paused outside his door, leaning close to listen. He was on the phone, and some sixth sense prevented me from going inside and interrupting.

"So it's true." There was a long silence. "Right. Well then."

I bit my lip. Eavesdropping on phone conversations was so frustrating because you could only hear one half of the conversation and you had to assume the other half. And sometimes you didn't even know who the conversation was with.

"Pence..." Well, that answers that question. "Look, it's not about Axel, okay? Come on, man, don't cry... shit, Pence, really, don't cry, it's okay... do you need me to come over?"

No, he needs you to stay right there where I can listen in on your private conversations.

"I'm sorry." He sounded really sorry. "Maybe if I had known sooner..." A long pause. "I'm seriously sorry." I listened intently but all I could hear was the shower dripping in the bathroom and a bird calling outside. "If it makes you feel any better... earlier, Axel told me that he loved me. And I couldn't say it back. It feels like I hardly know him. He just stormed into my life and decided I was going to go out with him, and that was about it."

I started chewing violently on my bottom lip, hoping against hope that this wasn't what I thought it was.

"Pence, don't. Don't say that. I don't want to think about would would happen if he... Because I care about you! You know what happened earlier, he set _fire_ to you just for talking to me, imagine how he'd react if he heard you saying that!" Roxas was sounding increasingly frustrated, and if I was right... "Look, Pence, you need to just... move on. Find someone else. What about Hayner? He's a nice enough guy, when he isn't being a homophobic asshole." So I was right. Shit. I hate that I'm always fucking right. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. Just do me a favour? Don't get your ass kicked by Axel. I really care about you, and I don't want you getting hurt or anything."

Aww. Poor little Pence, the tragically friendzoned one who could have loved Roxas so much.

Fuck. Now I sound like Naminé.

"So... you done the Social Studies homework?" I turned away from Roxas's room – clearly I wasn't going to hear anything more interesting. I paused outside Dem's bedroom, but knew without trying that the door was going to be locked. He had taken to keeping it locked whenever he wasn't in there recently, which is kind of odd because before now he always left it wide open. I had to wonder whether it was because he was hiding something, but knowing Demyx, I would probably find out really soon without breaking the door down. That kid _sucks_ at keeping secrets, especially from me.

Mind you, most people suck at keeping secrets from me.

I darted into my own room and shut the door behind me. I tugged off my scarf and had another look at the bruises on my neck. They were healing nicely now, and I could eat almost-normally. I didn't blame Demyx for a minute. I couldn't blame him even if I tried. I know that every time he hurts even so much as a ladybird, he wishes he were dead. I love him. And I know that even if he were doing it on purpose, I would probably still love him. He sang me to sleep before Roxas figured out how to talk me to sleep instead. He fed me soup when I was ill. He bought me a teddy bear and he watched over me from afar, and even prevented me from killing people. He was an amazing older brother, even if he did sometimes lack social understanding and understanding in general.

I picked up the battered, overly-loved teddy bear that sat waiting for me on my pillow and wrapped my arms around him. "Things are shit," I informed him, squeezing so hard that he probably couldn't breathe. Wait. He was a teddy. "Fuck, I'm tired. I wonder if –"

There was the noise of the front door opening. I sat bolt upright, only thinking one thing:

_That isn't how Demyx opens doors._

"I'm fucking home, where's my fucking dinner?" Dad's voice echoed up and down the hall, clearly very drunk. I sighed and got up, deciding that it was down to me to get him either back out of the house or placated enough that when Demyx did arrive home, he wouldn't be too upset.

"Dad, you're drunk," I informed him, staying on the third step from the bottom, just out of arms' reach. "You should go out and get some fresh air... clear your head a little..."

"No. Shut the fuck up. Get me another drink." He was more drunk than I had ever seen him. Oh, the joys. "NOW."

"I can't get you another drink. We don't have any alcohol in the house." My teeth were gritted so hard that it hurt and my fists were clenched at my sides. "Why don't you go out and get some?"

"No, I want some NOW." Dad sounded somewhere between an irate grizzly bear and an irate four-year-old. "Don't you _dare _disobey me, Megan."

Yeah, because I'm renowned for my obedience.

"Sorry, Dad, but I can't get you any." Had Roxas heard Dad yet? Probably. I had to give him props on staying upstairs where he was relatively safe. "Have a nice drink of water instead."

"You insolent little bitch, _get me some fucking alcohol_," he spat, clearly not happy with me. "I'll fucking kill you –"

"_Try_," I threatened, dropping down a step so that my eyes were level with his bloodshot ones. "Go on, _try_."

He lunged at me –

"FUCK!" I watched as he fell back, nose bleeding where I had punched him and something very unusual on his sleeve. "I'm on fucking fire!"

I could feel myself grinning vindictively. Something about this wasn't quite right, but I didn't care. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"MEGAN! _Do something_!" he screamed, flapping his burning arm and feeding the fire even more. And this is going to sound kind of odd, but it felt like he was feeding me too. Like I was feeding off the oxygen and the fabric of his sleeve.

"What's the magic word?" I asked, casually leaning against the banister that Dad always yelled at me for scratching.

"PLEASE!" Just like that, the fire was gone, and it left me feeling a tad empty inside, like a small part of me had been depending on its presence. I'd have to do another report on that. Maybe I could hack into Hollow Bastion's intranet again. "What... the fuck... was that?"

I bit back an evil cackle. "Perhaps you should just go to bed," I suggested quietly, hopping down off the staircase so that Dad could get up to his room. "Or find someplace else to sleep tonight."

"I'll... I'll go to bed." He walked up the stairs with his head down like a sulky teenager. With any luck, he'd be drunk enough to forget all of this. After all, he'd had quite a bit of alcohol – which was probably one of the reasons it had been so easy to set fire to him.

With nothing much to do now, I sat down next to the front door, hoping that Xigbar would be chivalrous enough to walk Demyx home and I could eavesdrop on them. Figuring that Naminé might have texted me in the half an hour since we'd last spoken, I checked my cellphone.

_Hey Meggy, guess who? I got your new number from Larxene. Now I can call you and text you all the time. Aren't you lucky? Seifer xxx_

FUCK.

Larxene was going to die. She was going to wake up in the morning surrounded by fire and hear from the distance my distinctive evil laugh, and realise that she was completely fucked, and then she was going to get halfway through a muttered swearword before the smoke reached her lungs and began to choke her.

Ahem.

I'm sane, what're you on about?

I looked up at the frosted glass of the front door. Was that shadow what I thought it was? I could hear giggling, I swear...

"Okay, I seriously need to go inside now, Xiggy." Aww, were they on the doorstep? It sounded like it. "C'mon, let go."

"Don't make me let go, I'm keeping you warm." Naminé would be squeeing hard enough to break windows at this point. I'd have to tell her about this. "You know, you could always stay out a little later. Megan and Roxas won't mind."

"Nah, I really do need to get in. And you need to get home, you're freezing." I don't give a fuck if he's freezing, Demyx, you two need to have your first kiss.

"I'm not _freezing_," Xigbar replied, sounding mildly offended. "How soft do you think I am?"

"You've got goosebumps, look," Demyx said. I wished I could just fucking _see_...

"They're just from you. You give me goosebumps, DemDem." Even I was grinning at that. God knows how certain blonde fangirls would react (Nami). "You always smile when I call you DemDem."

"I like it," he said simply. "Now, let me go. I have to get inside. Megan's probably already really worried, you know how she is, and –"

"Megan won't mind," Xigbar said. He was surprisingly right. "Don't I even get a goodnight kiss?"

"No, because if Meg or Rox see –"

"Megan won't mind," Xigbar repeated. He knew that Roxas would mind, though. Roxas would mind an awful lot. "Pretty please? I want to kiss you. I _need_ to kiss you."

"Some other time. I don't even know whether my dad's home, and, well..."

"He's a dick." Someone get Xigbar a medal for understatement of the century. "Okay. But you just said "some other time", and I'm going to hold you to that."

"I hope you do." Was – was Demyx _flirting_? Like, saying things with more than one meaning and changing his tone of voice and taking social cues? No fucking way. Imagine if he were adapting his body language as well. That would be fucking insane.

"See you at school tomorrow, DemDem."

"Looking forward to it." When did he learn to do that? Roxas wasn't as smooth as that half the time. "Save me a seat near yours, okay?" Slight pause for dramatic effect, or probably because Xigbar was nodding. "Now get yourself home before you freeze."

"Demyx?" Please say something adorable and meaningful that will make Naminé smile for the rest of the week, and maybe eat some cake while she's at it. "Do me a favour. Never lose that smile of yours. Never let go of your innocence and your sweetness and your beauty. That's what makes you so amazing – that you're in such an ugly world, but you still manage to stay pure and... well... whatever. I sound like a complete sap."

"I like complete saps." I bit my lip, torn between rolling my eyes at the clichédness of it all and squeeing like a fangirl. "I love you Xiggy. Don't ever change."

Aww.

"I won't if you don't. Night, DemDem."

"Night, Xiggy."

I found myself longing for the words "Night, Meggy", which is insane, because I _hate_ being called Meggy.

I slipped into the front room just before Demyx came into the house, and lay down on the sofa, settling down. It was like, ten. I could easily drift off now, maybe wake up early and...

"_Meggy, are you scared?"_

_I'm never scared. Not after everything he did to me. Nothing scares me any more._

"_Jessica and I will always be around to look after you, you know that?"_

_Always is a strong word. Use it sparingly. You told me that yourself._

"_Riku, leave the kid alone. You're making her more nervous than she needs to be."_

_No hello for me, then, Jessica?_

"_Oh, don't look at me like that, Meggy. I know you're a tough little cookie really. I just find Riku's voice unbearably annoying."_

_I hate how you treat me like a little kid. I'm nearly seven. And Riku said I act like a seventeen-year-old half the time._

"_Thanks, Jessica. Just for that, I'm going to give Meggy the bracelet I was going to give you."_

_Pink string tied in a shoddy knot isn't a bracelet, Riku._

"_Guys? What happens if they separate us? Especially Meggy. I don't want her dealing with everything that's happened on her own, you know?"_

_Oh, come on, Jessica, how old do you think I am, three?_

"_We'll find each other when we're older. Things can only get better from here, Jessica. He's gone, Meggy's stopped having panic attacks, and we're all going to get homes. Even if the three of us don't stay together, we won't be apart. Not really."_

"_RIKU! JESSICA! In this line! MEGGY! Over here!"_

_Wait... so..._

"_You aren't with us."_

_Riku, don't let them do this. Jessica, help me._

"_Right, all of you on the right hand side are off to Destiny Islands, and all of you on the left are going to Twilight Town. Any questions?"_

_Why aren't I with Jessica and Riku?_

"_Onto the trains, then. Aren't you all just so excited to get nice new families?"_

_Riku and Jessica are my family. I don't need a new one.  
>"It'll be okay, Meggy. I promise."<em>

_No – don't leave – don't get on the train, **please**..._

"Megan!"

Shit.

"D-demyx?" I grabbed onto him, convinced for a second that he was going to leave as well. "What was I..."

"You fell asleep in the front room. I think you were having a nightmare." Fuck. "C'mon, close your eyes and I'll sing you to sleep."

Too tired and afraid and alone to disobey, I settled back onto the sofa and shut my eyes.

"_I remember tears streaming down your face, when I said I'll never let you go, when all those __shadows almost killed your light_..." I didn't recognise this song, nor did I care at this point what it was. I just wanted to go back to sleep. "_I remember you said, don't leave me here alone, but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_..."

I smiled faintly, my hand finding Demyx's. "I love you, Dem."

"I love you too, Megan."

"Even if the three of us don't stay together, we won't be apart. Not really." Where did I hear that phrase again? I couldn't quite remember.

"Shh." Demyx bent down and kissed me on the forehead. "It's okay, Megan. Nobody's leaving you. Roxas and I will always be here."

I nodded dumbly, curled up, and fell asleep on the couch.

**Naminé**

"Megan! Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan!"

Megan stepped off the bus and smiled at me. I threw my arms around her neck, feeling her hugging back. "What's up, Nami?"

"Guess what?" I released her, looking up into her brown eyes, flecked with green. "Luxord's coming here to visit me this weekend!"

She squealed. "That's great, Naminé! Oh my God, I have so much to tell you about Xigbar and Demyx and Roxas and Pence and –"

"Wait. Roxas and Pence as in Roxas... and Pence?" I asked. "Or Roxas and Pence as in Roxas-and-Pence?"

"That's the question, isn't it?" Megan said grimly, kicking a nearby pebble into the drain.

I covered my mouth with my hand. "But Axel..."

"Exactly." She started chewing at her hangnails. I sighed and batted her hands away from her face before taking her by the arm and guiding her to Math. She seemed exhausted again. Maybe I would ask Demyx or Roxas whether she was having nightmares again. "But anyway, as to Demyx and Xigbar..."

I listened intently as we made our way to Math, nodding in all the right places, stopping Megan from devouring her own fingers at regular intervals.

In Math, she fell asleep on Seifer's shoulder, but nobody is allowed to tell her that, for the sake of Seifer's health.

After Math, I was walking along the corridor with Megan, when all of a sudden something tugged sharply on my bag and I suddenly found myself in Marluxia's office.

"Marly! Hey!" I smiled at him. He smiled back. He was such a sweetheart. "Everything okay?"

"Of course, Naminé," he answered warmly, gesturing to a seat. I sat. "I just wanted to ask... how's Megan?"

"She's fine," I said with a shrug. Well, she was incredibly tired, and she was constantly forced to violence, but other than that... "I think she's having nightmares again."

Marluxia leaned forward slightly. "Naminé, if I tell you something, you have to keep it strictly confidential, know what I mean?"

I nodded eagerly, intrigued by the idea of knowing something that Megan didn't for a change.

"There's a rumour going around that the orphanage that Demyx, Megan and Roxas were adopted from wasn't exactly, erm, up to scratch legally. Which means that everything Megan screams in her sleep..."

"...could be because they mistreated the kids." I frowned. "Wouldn't Roxas or Demyx have mentioned it, though?"

"Roxas was probably a little too young to understand or remember, and Demyx was only in the orphanage for a week or so." Marluxia sipped some of his tea. "You understand why you can't repeat any of this?"

"Totally, yeah." I drummed my fingers against my leg. Maybe if I could keep Marluxia talking for long enough, I could miss all of Chemistry. "So... you and Vexen?"

"Ooh!" Well, if I ever need anyone to imitate me, I know who to go to. "I assume Megan told you about the staff meeting on Sunday?"

We spent all of third period giggling over tea about Vexen (who is indeed a natural blonde) and Marluxia even managed to trick me into eating a biscuit. Eventually the bell went and I had to leave. Marly looked genuinely upset to see me go.

"Nami!" In the middle of the hall, Demyx swept me off my feet and swung me in a full circle before placing me back on the floor, slightly ruffled. "You look _lovely_ today."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zexion looking ready to kill. Knowing that I had Megan's protection wherever I went, I decided that I may as well have some fun with it.

"Aww, thank you, Demy," I said sweetly, twiddling my hair. Of course, Demyx being Demyx, it went straight over his head. "Are you doing anything tonight? I might come over, you know, if I have time."

"I'd love for you to come over!" Demyx replied, clapping his hands together like a four-year-old who'd been promised candy. "We can watch Titanic again and cry like babies and have Megan make fun of us and eat chocolate ice cream!"

I tried not to wince. I could deal with a cupful of chocolate ice cream, just to appease Demyx. Ice cream is not lethal.

"That would be great, Dem," I said warmly, noticing Zexion's face turn a lovely shade of puce that clashed horribly with his hair's lilac undertones. "I'll see you after school, then."

"Bye Nami." I slipped away and shut myself in a cubicle in the girl's bathroom, deciding to stay in here until Zexion had cooled off a little. After all, death by EMO is not interesting, tragic or romantic. It's just kind of odd.

"_If all of life is but a dream, fantastic –_" I recognised my and Luxord's song (yep, we have _a song)_ instantly and extracted my phone from my pocket. "Hello?"

"Hello, Naminé." Ohmigod ohmigod his _accent_ ohmigod. "Just thought I'd say hi. So... hi."

_Aww_. "Hi, then," I giggled, tucking some hair behind my ear. "What're you up to?"

"I'm just getting all of my shit together for when I come and visit you tomorrow." Eeeee-ahem. I'm fine. "What're you up to, darling?"

_Darling ohmigod._

"I'm just hanging around at school, you know, pretending to get an education to keep my parents happy." I made him laugh! Fuck yes! "I'm really looking forward to seeing you again, you know."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you too."

I grinned. "You know, Megan will probably insist on meeting you. And interrogating you. And threatening you with fire."

Luxord made a "pssh" noise on the other end of the phone. "I can take her. In all honesty, I would love to meet her. She sounds like a lovely girl when you get past the pyromania. Although I may be a tad biased since she's the one who's been looking after my Nami while we've been apart."

He called me his Nami. Excuse me for a minute while I dissolve into an emotional fangirlish wreck and require resuscitation.

"Yeah, she always looks after people," I responded lamely. "To be honest, as long as you make her believe that you're competent to look after me yourself, she'll drop it. She never hurts anyone that could be useful to her." Or who she loves, but I don't want to ruin her credibility.

"Don't worry, Naminé. She'll adore me within two minutes of meeting me. I'll be perfectly charming. You know how good I am at being perfectly charming." Even distorted by the phone line, his accent made me weak at the knees. And he was right, of course – he was very skilled when it came to being perfectly charming.

"I think I should go now. Classes to go to, people to save from Megan's wrath, you know... the usual." I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I can't wait to see you, you know."

"I can't wait to see you either, Naminé." He sounded so sincere, even I had to believe that I was worth something. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

I smiled. "I'm really not," I whispered, not even intending for him to hear me, really.

"You _are_, Naminé. You're perfect."

Normally, I would bat a complement like that away.  
>Today, I smiled and said, "So are you, Luxord."<p>

Maybe things were looking up.

xxx

No, you are not dreaming, I really have uploaded this chapter. You are welcome.

I felt bad about only giving you a bit of XigDem the other day so I decided to present you with some more Pence x Roxas, Naminé x Luxord, and a few mentions of MarVex to keep you interested. Oh, and Megan's nightmares. Those nightmares will make sense eventually, I promise.

You know, if you click the Review button within three seconds and then review nice things before midnight tonight, you will meet your true love and... ah, fuck it. Please review. Me sleep now.

REVIEW.

Loves y'all.


	21. Chapter 21

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Axel**

I officially fucking hate everyone.

"Axel, quit pouting," Roxas teased, bumping my arm as he sat down next to me in the cafeteria. "Is something really wrong or are you just on your period?"

I grimaced. He knew exactly what was wrong, but I wasn't prepared to make a scene in the middle of the room, and I think that he was just determined to pretend that everything was normal. "I'm absolutely fine, Roxie." I watched uneasily as Demyx and Zexion headed over to our table, both looking very much like a couple, which was weird because Yuffie insisted that Demyx was with Xigbar. I'm not going to pretend to understand that kid. "Just a little tired."

Roxas laid his head on my shoulder. Mmm. _I know it's not healthy, but I'mma just pretend that we're perfectly okay. _"I love you, Roxie." _He's not gonna say it back, so don't bother_.

"Hey, guys, mind if we sit here?" I said nothing but Roxas must have done some non-verbal communication, because Demyx and Zexion both sat down across from us. Demyx gave us a sparkling smile. "Thanks."

"Demyx," said Zexion quietly, probably not intending for Rox and I to hear. "I wanna tell you something."

"Yeah, Zexy?" Demyx murmured back, wrapping his hand around Zexion's, which lay apathetic and EMO on the table, its nails painted black.

"You look beautiful today."

He leaned up and kissed Demyx, which made me feel kind of queasy because Zexion was such a slimy little bitch, so fuck knows how Roxas felt.

"Guys?" Oh, I guess we're about to find out how Roxas felt. "Do you have to kiss in the middle of the cafeteria?" Demyx blushed. "I thought you two weren't going to be a couple, anyway. You were just going to flirt incessantly and annoy the fuck out of everyone, weren't you?"

Zexion smirked. It was one of two facial expressions, the other being a scowl, that fit perfectly onto his EMO face. "I can't help it if your brother is downright fuckable and looks at me like –"

"That's _enough_, Zexion," Roxas snapped. Aww, he was so cute when he was irritated, and for some reason I found his death threats pretty sexy.

"We're not a couple," Demyx said, completely disregarding the tension between Zexion and Roxas. "We... we're just kind of... I don't know. It's weird."

"You like it, though," Zexion teased, leaning to the side to kiss Demyx on the cheek. I wasn't sure whether to be grossed out or to squeal like a fangirl. Once you got past Zexion's general dislikeability and aura of dickishness they were actually quite a cute couple.

"Roxie," I whispered in Roxas's ear, grinning when he tensed up at the sound of his hated pet name. Ooh, pet name. Like he was my pet. Like I _owned_ him. He could have a leash and...

Anyway.

"Roxie, I think we should leave these two to it," I muttered, running a hand up Roxas's inner thigh as I spoke in the hope that he would completely forget everything he was thinking and act solely on the wants and needs of his penis. "We could go to the boys' locker rooms or something and just... get reacquainted. Know what I mean?"

"Nngh." I was doing pretty well at turning him on, it seemed. "Are you sure Dem will be okay?"

I looked across at Demyx and Zexion, who were just eye-fucking each other, nothing interesting. "I think that he'll survive, just about," I said quietly, leaning closer and running my tongue up the edge of his pretty little ear. "Just relax, and let's go somewhere..."

"Fine." Roxas sighed and stood up. "I'll see you guys around, I guess. Bye, Dem."

"Bye, Roxas," Demyx replied cheerily, waving at us both before returning his attention to Zexion, who seemed to be very nearly in his lap.

I lead Roxas by the hand into the boys' locker rooms. "Right, Roxas." _Stay calm, don't get pissed at him, don't fuck him too hard, breathe deeply... _"What's going on with you and Pence?"

"N-nothing." Roxas's eyes widened as I pushed him up against the nearest wall. "Why would there be..."

"I can just tell." That, and Megan was very easy to manipulate when she had only had three hours of sleep. "Now, how about I show you what a real man can do for you?"

I heard Roxas gulp as I swooped down on his neck and started kissing, sucking, biting, licking... you know the type. "Axel, there is _nothing_ between Pence and I. I swear on... on Charizard."

I smirked at him. "On _Charizard_, eh? Oh, well now I guess I'll have to believe you."

"Charizard is my favourite," Roxas muttered sulkily. He wasn't sulky for very fucking long, I tell you that much. "Ah! A-Axel, do that again..."

"What, this?" I asked, biting down on a particularly sensitive spot on Roxas's neck. "You like that, Roxie?"

"Don't call me – gah!" He grabbed my shoulders suddenly as I demonstrated a trick I'd learnt from reading yaoi fanfiction, something a little bit explicit that involved my hand and Roxas's crotch. "Y-you know, Axel... if you end up getting too excited... _ooh_..." I grinned at the look on his face when I started unbuttoning his shirt, "...you could... could burn me."

I chuckled deep in my throat. (That wasn't the only thing I wanted deep in my throat, if you get my drift. If you don't get my drift, well, I want to suck Roxas off.) "Relax, baby," I told him, running a finger along his collarbone. "I know what I'm doing. I promise I'm not going to hurt you."

Well, you may not be able to walk tomorrow, and your throat might hurt like hell, and you'll probably scream my name in that pretty little uke voice of yours... but other than that, you'll be fine.

"A-Axel, oh my God, how do you even – _ah!_"

"You make the prettiest noises," I told him, getting to work on making him make more pretty noises for me. "Say my name again, Roxie."

"Oh, fuck off, _Axie_." Even with one of my hands in his pants, he still managed to be pissed at my use of his pet name. "You don't even – oh _God_..."

"You miss Pence right now?" I asked, fully aware of how cruel I was being, as I started sliding Roxas's trousers down his perfectly shaped legs. "Who would you rather have, Roxie? Me or him?"

"Y-you," he whispered shakily, his hips moving forward of their own accord when I stroked him through his boxers. "_Fuck_, Axel."

"Fuck Axel" was indeed the plan, Roxas. Well done.

"You really sure, Roxie? Say it for me. Tell me that you're mine." I started fiddling with the hem of his underwear while sucking on the part of his neck that was clearly _very_ sensitive.

"I'm yours, Axel, all yours, just... just... stop _teasing_," he whimpered, placing a clumsy kiss on my lips. "Axel, _please_," he whined, his hands reaching down for my belt.

Well, I wasn't having any of that. I pinned his hands above his head easily with only one hand of my own, using the other hand to basically tease the fuck out of him. "Now, now, Roxie," I smirked, finally getting his trousers to fall to the floor and starting to run a thumb along the waistband of his boxers. "Just sit back and let me do the work." Translation: I'm going to dominate you all over the floor and leave you bruised and smelling of sex. "Tell me you love me."

"I-I... _Axel_, oh my _God_..." I chuckled, still teasing him like fuck because I'm a bastard like that. "I love..."

"What do you love, Roxie?" I murmured in his ear, pushing his now unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders.

And then there was the noise of the door opening. _Shit_. Roxas pushed me away from him and dove into the locker to his left, somehow managing to fold himself in half and close the door after himself. I just did the sensible thing and hid under a bench, somewhat more visible than Roxas but also a whole lot more comfortable.

So now we were trapped, and horny, and he _still_ hadn't told me that he loved me.

Don't ya just love life sometimes?

**Megan**

I strolled through the English corridor at lunch, not bothering with food because Naminé was nowhere to be found so there was no one to set an example for. I could always have a fuckton of dinner, anyway. And I wasn't all that hungry. Three hours of sleep tended to fuck your appetite as well as everything else.

I stopped in my tracks, having heard a very distinctive giggle. That was Demyx. Unless I was going crazy. Which, quite frankly, seemed more and more possible with every passing day.

"Zexy, that feels weird." Yup, gotta be Demyx. It sounded like he, and probably Zexion as well, were right around the corner. "C'mon, stop it."

I swallowed. It probably wasn't a good idea to get involved. I was exhausted, for a start, and felt slightly dizzy, and would probably either murder Zexion or pass out in the middle of trying. Neither of these things would be of any help to Demyx and both would probably leave me even more pissed off than I was to start with, so I just took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, listening, waiting...

"Demyx, do you love me?" Zexion asked. I bit my lip so hard that it hurt, both because Zexion was a bastard and because nausea was filling me from head to toe.

"Um... well... oh my God, Zexy, that feels so _weird_, stop it!" Okay, in exactly ten seconds I was going to kill a bitch.

"Oh, come on, Demyx, don't be such a – oh. Hi, Xigbar."

Oh, the universe fucking loves me right now. And I love it back.

"Hello, Zexion. Would you mind separating yourself from Demyx?" Kill him. Kill him. FUCKING KILL HIM, XIGBAR. GOD. I tilted my head up to the ceiling. I really needed some sleep. Like, _really _needed some sleep.

"I don't see why I should." Because you're a cunt. "Dem doesn't mind, do you, babe?"

Eww he called my brother babe eww. "Um, well, I... um..."

"He looks like he minds rather a lot," Xigbar said curtly. "Now, run along and read Twilight or some shit. I don't care, just do it somewhere else. I need to talk to Demyx about his grade."

"What about my grade?" Demyx asked, clearly not realising that Xigbar was lying his ass off. I heard Zexion's footsteps approaching and whipped out my cellphone so I didn't look like I'd been eavesdropping.

When he walked past me he raised an eyebrow. "Megan," he muttered, nodding at me.

"Scum," I responded, nodding back. He just "tsk"ed and EMO'd off.

"So... um... what did you want to say about..." Demyx's sentence was cut off all of a sudden in a way that suggested that Xigbar had placed a hand over his mouth.

"Demyx, I want you to listen really carefully, okay?" I assume Demyx nodded. "I know you like Zexion, and if he makes you happy, well, I'll try not to kill him. But if he's ever touching you anywhere you don't want him to touch, or he tries to make you do something you don't want to do, you tell him no. If he keeps trying, hit him in the face. Or tell me and I'll deal with him." Xigbar paused for a moment. "Or Megan. Megan'll help you." I grinned to myself, feeling pretty damn proud of myself and the reputation that preceded me.

"Okay, Xiggy. I... I should probably get to class." I peeked round the corner to see Dem hugging Xigbar like his life depended on it. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too. I love you so much, Demyx."

Demyx smiled as he pulled away from Xigbar. "You know... I still don't know what's happening between me and Zex, and you and me... but I'm kinda happy the way things are now. Confused and slightly scared that you two are going to start fighting any minute now, but I love you, and I love him, and as long as you're both still around, I'm happy. Is that okay?"

Xigbar looked sort of pained, but he smiled. "Everything's okay, just as long as you're happy, Demyx." Oh my fuck, just _get married_, you two. Forget Zexion, Xigbar was obviously the single most perfect person for Demyx. "Get yourself to class, okay, kid? I'll call you tonight. Be good."

"Don't call me kid!" he protested. Xigbar just chuckled, but stopped abruptly when Dem leaned forwards, kissed him on the cheek, and then pretty much sprinted down the corridor to whichever lesson he had now. I leaned further around the corner and watched a kind of shell-shocked smile creep across Xigbar's face as he raised a hand to his cheek, where Demyx had kissed him, right on his huge-ass scar, in fact. Aww.

"Hey, Xigbar," I grinned, deciding to see how much of my next lesson I could miss talking to Xigbar. "So..."

"I assume you were listening then?" he said, lowering his hand from his face but still grinning like a hormone-high teenager.

"Well, of course. I was about to rip Zexion to shreds when you showed up. Shame, really. Although I guess you're pretty happy." I gestured vaguely to his cheek. He made a very unmanly noise that could almost have been a giggle if not for the fact that Xigbar would never giggle. "Thanks, by the way. What you said about Demyx coming to me if Zexion's creeping on him."

Xigbar shrugged. "You're a damn good person to be on the right side of. And I know you'd die for either of your brothers. I think pretty much everyone knows that. That's why nobody fucks with Roxas and Demyx."

I nodded. "Can I skip... um... whatever class I have next? And just hang with you?"

Most teachers would not even entertain this as a possibility, but Xigbar, as I may or may not have mentioned before, is fucking awesome. He contemplated it for a moment, then let me into his classroom and shut the door behind us. "You're lucky I've got a free period now, Megan." He tilted his head as he looked at me. "Are you all right?"

I shrugged. "Tired, but yeah, I'm okay. If I weren't here I'd probably still be skipping class, I'd just be with Marly, or in the girls' bathroom. Speaking of Marly..."

"Him and Vexen," Xigbar finished, pushing a beanbag in my direction and sitting on one of his own. "God, the sexual tension in the staffroom earlier..."

"Why, what happened?" I asked eagerly, leaning forwards a little. Xigbar grinned at me.

"For a pyromaniac killing machine with an IQ of one hundred and forty-eight and a reputation for maiming anyone who fucks with you... you are _such_ a teenage girl sometimes." I scowled at him and he held up both hands in his defence. "Anyway, about Marluxia and Vexen... well..."

"You know, if they had kids, their kids would be ginger." I started chewing on my hangnails again, glad that Naminé and Marluxia weren't around to lecture me about it. "Because Vexen's hair is blonde and Marluxia's is pink, and I'm pretty sure that that would make orange."

Xigbar looked at me for a moment. "Megan... you do realise that they're both guys, right? So they couldn't actually make kids very easily?"

I fought the urge to facepalm – how the _fuck _did I just say that? – and sighed. "I only had about three hours of sleep last night. Nightmares, y'know. So _anyway_, what happened between Marly and Vexen?"

Xigbar rolled his eye. "You're so impatient, Megan. I pity the fool who attempts to have a relationship with you. Basically, Marluxia was making coffee for himself, and Vexen came up behind him, literally nearly-fucking-him-into-the-counter kind of behind him, and he says, "Are you gonna make any for me?""

"And _then?_" I prompted, licking up the blood I had just drawn from my thumb.

"And _then_, you impatient brat," he continued, with more affection than I thought was possible from someone who was calling you a brat, "Marluxia asked him if he wanted any sugar, and he said "From you or in the coffee?" And then they went to have their coffee outside, or so they said, and I haven't seen them since."

"Ooh, so you think they might have been..."

"They might _still_ be, for all I know," Xigbar concurred with a shrug. "Megan... you wanna know something?"

"What?" I asked, sucking on my still-bleeding thumb. I must have looked so lethal, circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and sucking my thumb. Oh, well. I didn't really need Xigbar to be afraid of me at this point. He was on my side, against Zexion and his EMOness. I mean, I don't really have anything against EMOs in general. Well, I don't feel compelled to kill them, anyway. But Zexion was just so annoying, and I was kind of worried by the possibility of him date-raping Demyx.

"Well, say I were to marry Demyx, your brother." I looked at him expectantly. "I would be your and Roxas's brother-in-law."

I laughed. "That would be... fucking amazing. Weird as hell, yeah, but still really cool. Although I'm not quite sure how Roxas would feel about it." I shifted slightly on my beanbag, wondering whether Xigbar would mind if I fell asleep in his classroom. "You know, Yuffie told me that she saw you with Demyx last night."

Xigbar had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Yeah... I assume he told you that he was going off on his own?"

I nodded. "He's a shit liar, though. I knew he was going off with someone, and I kinda assumed it would be either you or Zexion. And I knew Yuffie works at the ice cream place so I asked her if she'd seen Dem. Apparently she played "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer for you and you didn't even take the chance."

Xigbar grinned. "Oh, yeah, she did. She planned it really carefully for me, it was so sweet of her. But Larxene showed up."

I frowned. "I don't really know what to make of Larxene. She's a bitch, but she doesn't really seem to do it on purpose. I think she just wants attention."

Xigbar laughed. I looked at him questioningly and he just shook his head. "It's funny... Dem said practically the same thing to her face last night. He's a lot deeper than you'd think, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is."

"It's weird... it's like, the more time I spend with him, and the more I find out about him, the more in love with him I fall." Xigbar looked like he had forgotten I was even there, wrapped up in his own little Demyx-filled world. Unlike Zexion, though, I doubted that he was having impure thoughts about my brother one hundred percent of the time. I mean, sure, the guy's got a dick and therefore probably thinks about sex from time to time. But I knew that there was no chance of Xigbar forcing Demyx into anything. Zexion, on the other hand, was an entirely different story.

"Xigbar?" I said quietly, looking up at the ceiling of his classroom, which somehow had chewing gum stuck on it and what looked like writing, but it was too high up for me to see properly. "What would you do if Dem chose Zexion?"

Xigbar shrugged, but I spotted the sadness that flitted across his face. "I don't know. I don't think he would... would he?"

I smiled softly. I didn't really need Xigbar going all mopey and miserable on me. "Nah, he wouldn't. Don't worry. You heard him. He loves you."

Xigbar did his lovesick teenager grin again. "He did say that, didn't he? Huh. You know, Megan, I know you want everyone to fear you and everything, but actually, you're a really sweet kid."

I laughed. "Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

Xigbar grinned. "I wouldn't dream of it."

There was a knock at the door. Xigbar and I exchanged uneasy looks, and I went and hid behind his desk without a word, having done this on more than one occasion. Then I listened.

"Hey, Xigbar." Oh, okay, it was just Xion. Xion was okay. "Um, I'm kind of trying not to go to Math, and I was wondering if..."

"Get your ass in here, then," Xigbar sighed, pushing her through the door and closing it behind her. I peered out from behind the desk, smiling at Xion, who looked mildly terrified. "As you can see, we already have Megan with us."

"I'm so fucked-up tired, I genuinely cannot remember which class I'm meant to be at." I shrugged. Nothing important, I'm sure. "This your first time skipping class?"

She nodded, sitting timidly on one of the armchairs. "You won't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course not. Pretty much all of my free periods are spent harbouring fugitives anyway. Any particular reason you're skipping Math, Xion?" Xigbar asked, perching on the edge of his desk.

"Well, last Math lesson, I kind of had a breakdown in the middle of class and now I'm really embarrassed to go back." I nodded, satisfied with this explanation. "Plus I haven't done the homework."

"So what happened last lesson?" Xigbar inquired, suddenly back in concerned teacher mode.

"Well... I was just really upset... like, things aren't going great at home, and then Seifer and his gang decided to bitch me out in the middle of the hall, and I went into class on the verge of tears and then Yuffie asked me if I was okay and I just kind of lost it, started crying and choking and stuff. So now everyone thinks I'm nuts."

"Don't worry. People I know from school actually cross the street to avoid me a lot of the time," I told her. "Oh, and today something interesting happened to me in Math, as well. Or it might not have been interesting. I don't really know. See, I completely zoned out for about twenty minutes, and I think I fell asleep. And when I woke up everyone was sniggering and Naminé wouldn't look me in the eye or tell me what happened, and worst of all Seifer looked really pleased with himself, so..."

"Aha. That really is shit." Xion looked down at her feet. "At least people actually pay attention to you."

Xigbar chuckled. "They have to try pretty damn hard not to, considering she tries to burn down the school every Chemistry lesson."

"Pssh, Vexen exaggerates," I lied, waving a hand airily. Xion giggled. "Anyway, at least _I_ don't hang around ice cream shops with –"

"That's _enough_, Megan," Xigbar interjected, and I laughed slightly evilly.

"I've already heard the rumour that you and Demyx were on a date last night, Xigbar," Xion said, and I had to stifle a snigger. "Larxene's been telling everyone. So I think it's only fair that I tell you something interesting about her. Something she wouldn't want to get out."

"Go on," I said, feeling the wicked smile creeping up my face again.

"She's about three months pregnant and she doesn't know who the father is." I gasped, not really expecting this at all. Who would fuck _Larxene_? "Apparently she was at a party in Hollow Bastion, and all she remembers is that he was blonde."

"Oh, _that_ narrows it down," Xigbar said sarcastically. "As long as it wasn't Demyx I don't give a fuck."

"Xigbar, Demyx doesn't know _how_ to have sex," I informed him.

"Have fun with that," Xion joked, and I laughed in spite of myself.

Xigbar sighed at both of us, like we were being teenage girls on purpose. "Well if he doesn't know _how_, he isn't gonna understand what it means, right? So if someone malicious were to come along and manipulate him into doing things he doesn't want to do..."

"Relax, Xigbar, we're not gonna let that happen." He was, of course, talking more about Zexion than he was about Larxene. Larxene probably wouldn't touch Demyx with a stick. "It's nice you care so much about him. Some people just think he's kind of thick."

"He's not thick!" Xion protested. "You should see him in Music, nobody else can get a word in edgeways. And I don't know how the fuck he manages to remember so much about David Bowie, I don't even know that much about _myself_. Oh, and he can do quadratic equations like they're nothing. Just because he's lucky enough not to realise how conniving and manipulative the rest of the world is doesn't make him stupid."

There was a long pause. Then I said, "Xion, have I ever mentioned that I really quite like you?"

She grinned. "Thanks, Megan. I really quite like you too."

"Yeah, yeah, we all love each other. Now, how are we gonna kill Zexion?" Xigbar asked.

"With fire, of course." I looked at the floor. "I set fire to my dad last night," I admitted.  
>"Nice one!" I smiled in spite of myself. "You get an A for the rest of the year, just for that."<p>

Xion laughed. "I think I should come here more often."

"You should." I pulled out my cellphone. "We're nuts, but we're happy, and that's what counts, right?"

"Yeah, it is." She smiled. "Thanks, Megan."

"Any time, hun." Wait, did I just call her "hun"? I only ever call Naminé "hun". How odd. "Thanks for not just assuming I'm a psychopath and Demyx is a retard like most people do."

"Any time."

xxx

There ya go, guys. I loves all of my reviewers, you know that, right? You guys keep me going through the awful times. Thank you all a whole lot. I mean that.

I don't have anything interesting to say except that I've started a XigDem fic called The Babysitter which you should go read. (Well, it's Braig and Myde at first, but you know...) It'll be my first canonical fic that's actually chaptered, and I'd appreciate it if you read and reviewed for me.

But review this first, 'kay? 'Kay. Love to y'all.


	22. Chapter 22

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

"Axel, you suck so much."

He smirked at me. "I thought that you were desperate for me to suck, Roxie?"

I thumped him hard on his left arm, which was already starting to bruise from the last time I'd hit him, about ten minutes ago. "I was stuck in that locker for half a fucking hour, you dickwad!"

"I was under the bench," Axel pointed out, rubbing his sore arm. I had missed the bus and was walking the four miles home instead, and Axel had insisted on walking with me.

"I was folded in fucking half!" I yelled, kicking a beer can that lay crumpled and dejected on the pavement. "I cannot believe you."

"It's not my fault." Axel was pouting. It looked fucking stupid. "You were enjoying yourself until Setzer came in and we had to hide."

"You were fucking with my head on purpose because you're a jealous douchebag," I scowled, cramming my hands into my pockets. "Nothing was ever gonna happen with me and Pence, and you know it. You just wanted to punish me for Pence being attracted to me."

Axel had the decency to hang his head and pout a little. "I'm sorry, Roxie," he said, slipping an arm around my waist. I hissed, still bruised from Demyx's breakdown the other day. "Ah, shit. Sorry, Rox." He moved his arm up a little, which was less painful but still annoying because I was pissed as hell at him and he knew it. "Can I make it up to you, baby? Please?"

I scowled. "I doubt it. You were really bitchy about all of it."

"Please, Roxas. I love you. Please let me make it better."

I sighed heavily. "Well... okay. I want you to apologise to Pence. As in, grovel and beg for forgiveness until he feels better. I don't care how long that takes you or how painful it is. Just make him feel less shitty about everything. Then maybe we can talk." I pulled his arm away from my waist and pushed it away from me. "And in the meantime, don't even _think_ about getting into my pants."

"But Roxie..." Axel whined, catching hold of my wrist as I tried to walk faster than him. His legs were a whole lot longer than mine. "Please, Roxie? Just a quick blowjob? Handjob? _Anything_?"

"_No_, Axel," I snapped, pulling away but giving up on walking away from him. He sulked along next to me, head down and bottom lip out.

"Roxie?" he whimpered after about eight minutes of silence. "Can I still kiss you?"

I sighed. "Axel, I think you're kind of missing the point."

"What is the point?" he asked.

"I'm fucking pissed off at you!" I snapped, stopping in my tracks so I could glare at him properly. "You're deliberately fucking with my head and trying to control me and I'm not gonna sit here and fucking take it!"

An old lady shuffling past us stopped. I expected her to scold me for swearing my mouth off at Axel, but she didn't. Instead she nodded and said, "You tell 'im, sonny. Don't let 'im push you around just because 'e's bigger 'n you."

Then she shuffled off again.

"That's what Xigbar's gonna be like when he's old. Except male." Axel was trying to make me smile now. That cunt. "Have you heard the rumour about Xigbar, by the way?"

"What rumour about Xigbar?" I asked, folding my arms to demonstrate that I was still pissed at him, whether or not we were discussing the actual fight that we were in the midst of.

"Apparently he's dating... one of his students. In Demyx's grade." Axel looked kind of awkward, and I had to wonder if he knew which student it actually was. I bet it was Xion or Larxene. Probably Larxene. Or, hey, maybe it was Yuffie. She seemed like the type to try and look past the whole age-gap thing. And by that I mean, she was insane. Loveable, yes, but insane.

"Well, good for him, I guess. He's a nice enough guy, I doubt he would do anything illegal." I looked Axel straight in the eye. "Do you know who?"

"Well, the rumour... and remember, this is just a rumour, and I heard it from Rai, so it'll probably be bullshit... but the rumour is that it's... well, apparently, it's your brother."

I felt my jaw drop open and the street around me seemed to go fuzzy. "Xigbar... and... _Demyx_?"

"It might just be people bullshitting, Rox. Don't freak out or anything. I don't believe it for a second."

The panic and shock was gone as quickly as it had come. "They couldn't be," I said softly. "Megan would've caught on by now, and put a stop to it. Megan knows, like, everything."

"Exactly, Roxas," Axel said, in a tone very similar to the tone you would take if you were trying to placate a murderer. "Now, c'mon, let's get you home."

"I'm still furious at you, you know. That random old lady was right." That random old lady was the single best part of my day, actually, but that was irrelevant. "You can't push me around just because you're bigger than me. I'm still going to be friends with Pence, you realise, and if you say one word against him then you're out the door. He's my best friend."

"I totally understand," Axel said, nodding like a demented pigeon. He moved to put his arm around me again but I dodged away. "I love you, baby. Please at least give me a hug?"

"Stop calling me "baby", it's fucking worse than fucking Roxie," I muttered, but relented and hugged him. I had forgotten how good he smelt. "Now stop pouting and let's get to my house. I want to talk to Demyx about the whole thing with Xigbar."

"G-good idea." Axel coughed. "Um... you know, Roxas, we could always detour... just get an ice cream... I'll pay, of course, I kind of owe it to you..."

"Stop trying to win me over, Axel, you know it won't work. You aren't getting any until you've apologised to Pence, and even after that you're gonna be waiting a while." He whimpered. "I mean it."

He sighed. "Roxas... I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

He stopped me again, got hold of my shoulders and looked into my eyes with his sweet green ones. "I adore you. The thought of losing you... it just hurts like fuck. So the idea that Pence might take you away from me, might even make you think twice about staying with me... it scares me like hell. That's why I was such a dick about it all. I know it was wrong of me, but I was just determined not to lose you. It had nothing to do with controlling you or not liking Pence or anything. It's just because I'm so in love with you, and I didn't mean to fall for you, and believe me, I didn't want to, but I'm glad I did. Please don't be mad at me for it."

He looked so fucking pathetic, and sounded it too, that I almost changed my mind.

"Look, Axel, that's real sweet, but you still need to apologise to Pence." He nodded, like he expected that anyway. "And you're still not getting any for a while." He nodded again. "But... I'm not gonna yell any more, all right? Let's just move on." I stood on tiptoe and kissed him once, softly on the side of his mouth, and pulled back sharpish before he could try anything with me. "You're gorgeous, Axel, you know that?"

"I'm nothing compared to you," he whispered, smoothing some hair out of my face gently, then resting his hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry for being such a dick."

"It's okay. I realised recently that I actually quite like dicks." Axel chuckled, lacing his fingers through mine as we walked. "I hate fighting with you."

"Same here. Although you are absolutely adorable when you're angry." I scowled at him. "Yeah, like that! And when you're threatening to kill me it's actually kinda hot, in a fucked up way."

"Maybe that's why Seifer has such a thing for Megan," I suggested, watching the pavement underneath me because I didn't want Axel to look at me with those sexy green eyes of his and make me want to go back on my word about not giving him any until he apologised to Pence. "It would make sense. She threatens to kill everyone."

Axel nodded. We walked along in silence for a while, until my cellphone went off.

"Hello?" Axel looked at me questioningly. I broke away from him, keeping my distance just in case.

"Hey, Roxas. It's me."

Great timing, Pence. Literally five seconds after Axel and I have made up, you call. Round of applause.

"Hi, Pence," I said, deciding there was no point in trying to hide anything from Axel. "I'm just walking home with Axel."

"Oh... okay..." Oh my God, don't sound so disappointed, I'm sorry... "Um... so are you two okay now?"

"Yeah. How are you?"

"Shit, but you know... I'll live." Aww, Pence, I'm sorry... "I just wanted to say..."

"Yeah?" Axel was glaring at the ground like it was the pavement's fault I was still friends with Pence.

"Well... um... I'm sorry about causing so much trouble between you and Axel, but you know... I'm not gonna get over you any time soon. This is gonna sound really two-faced and shit, but if the two of you split up..."

"I know, Pence. I'll remember." I started chewing on my lower lip. Axel was still glaring at the pavement.

Pence sighed on the other end of the phone. "I'd better go. See you soon, Roxas."

"See you, Pence." I hung up before he could say anything that would make me feel even worse, and took hold of Axel's hand again. "Axel, you know it's not his fault, right?"

Axel sighed. "I know, but... he's the easiest person to blame, y'know? I just... I'm so scared of losing you..."

"You shouldn't be." _This is the part where you say "I love you", Roxas. Say it. Say it NOW._

I couldn't say it.

"I know I shouldn't be. But you're so gorgeous, and one of these days you're gonna find someone better than me, and have no trouble winning their heart, and then where the fuck will I be?"

"That isn't gonna happen, Axel," I told him firmly. "For someone known for his cockiness, you've got hardly any self-esteem."

He smiled weakly. "I wanna tell you something."

"Go ahead," I told him.

"At my last school, I used to fuck with people. Like, I would pick someone, and I would see how much I could make them happy, and then how much I could hurt them. It was a challenge, a game. I always liked the supposedly unobtainable ones, like the most popular blonde girl and the EMO kid who wouldn't let anyone touch him and so on. And when I met you then you were with Megan, and I figured that you'd be, like, impossible to get to, because she'd kill me. But then I started falling in love with you. And now I don't know what the fuck to do, because you'd be better off without me, but I never lose a challenge, but you're _not_ a challenge, you're my boyfriend and I love you, and..."

"Calm the fuck down, Axel." I raised our conjoined hands to my mouth and kissed his fingers. He smiled. "I would _not_ be better off without you. If not for you, I would still be pretending to everyone that I'm straight, for a start –"

"No, because Pence would have told you how he felt and then you two would have –"

"Pence would _never_ have told me how he felt," I interjected. "It was actually Hayner who told me in the first place, and Pence said himself that he would never have said anything if not for you coming along and making me miserable."

"So I –"

"You _don_'_t_ make me miserable, Axel, okay? You make me confused as hell, absolutely furious, horny as fuck sometimes, but you also make me ecstatic and just dazed and happy and all sorts of shit that I'd never felt until I met you. Okay?" I looked up at him. He was biting his bottom lip, his eyes looking into mine like I was the only thing in the world.

"I love you, Roxie."

I half-laughed. "I love you too, Axie." It came out before I could stop it, but I didn't regret it even for a second. I knew in that moment that I meant it, and that's all it took for me to know that I was with the right guy, and that I was made for Axel, and that one day Pence would find the right person for him but that in the meantime he would be okay.

So all in all, things weren't as shit as I'd expected them to be.

**Demyx**

I lay on my back on my bedroom floor with my sleeves rolled up to my elbows, just looking at the cuts, some of them several weeks old and nearly invisible, some of them from last night, and a new one from just now, which had only stopped bleeding after I applied pressure for ten solid minutes while holding it above my head. Some of them still stung when I prodded them and some of them didn't, and pretty much all of them were deep enough to scar.

"I wonder if everyone would still love me this much if they knew I was slicing myself up all the time," I sighed, looking at Bowie who didn't seem to care.

My phone started vibrating on the other side of the room. I sat up, shuffled over to my bedside table, and scooped it up, then leaned against my bed to answer it.

"Hey, DemDem." Oh, it was Xigbar. I swallowed hard and tugged down my sleeves, even though he couldn't see me because, you know, it was a phone call.

"Hi, Xiggy," I said softly, drumming my fingers on my leg. "How're you?"

"I'm fine, how are you?" he asked.

"Um..." _Lie_. "I'm great, y'know, just hanging out in my room..."

"Demyx, you cannot lie worth shit." Well, it was worth a try. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied, running my hand up and down my arm and wincing when it stung. Perhaps that wasn't the best idea I've ever had. "Why would something be wrong?"

"You can trust me, Demyx." I know I can, that's not the problem here. "Come on, just tell me what's going on in your head right now."

"Nothing, really, I'm just tired and... and a little confused, is all." Yeah, okay, that sort of made sense. With any luck Xigbar wouldn't push it and we could move on and talk about something stupid and pointless instead.

"You sure that's it?" There was a slight pause. "You know, I was talking to Marluxia about you today."

"Oh, really? That's cool. Marluxia's really nice. Hey, what do you think about him and Vexen?"

"Demyx, Marluxia told me that you hurt yourself."

Oh.

Great.

Just... brilliant.

"Um..." I laughed nervously and scratched the back of my head. No way was I going to be able to lie to him about this. I fail so bad at lying anyway, and this was a really big thing to lie about. "Um... only a lickle bit..."

"Fuck," Xigbar muttered, and there was a noise sort of like he'd just kicked something. "Demyx... oh my God... Can I help you?"

I don't know why, but that one question was the best question I'd ever been asked. Megan has this habit – and it's an adorable habit, don't get me wrong – but she charges in and she does what she thinks is the right thing to do with very little regard for anyone else. I had never been given a choice about what she did. But here was Xigbar, basically telling me that I could do whatever I felt like, and I get the feeling that whatever my answer was, he would be okay with it.

"If you want to. But it's not a big deal, really. Just a couple of scratches."

"I don't care whether you're bleeding yourself out every night or whether you poke yourself with a paperclip every now and again. The idea of you in pain kills me."

I bit my lip, looked down at the floor. "That's... that's really sweet of you, Xiggy."

"Huh, not really. It's kind of human instinct to protect cute blondes. There was even a study on it."

I "tsk"ed. "I'm not cute."

"Oh, really? Perhaps only having one eye affects me more than I thought it did." Xigbar chuckled. "DemDem, you are the single most beautiful person I have ever met, and if anyone tells you otherwise, I will severely hurt them, okay?"

"You sound like Megan," I half-laughed, watching Bowie as she sniffed my older, broken sitar before climbing on top of it and curling up to sleep. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Not unless talking to you counts as something." I scratched my left ear, just able to pick out the sound of Meg singing underneath the churning of the washing machine and Xigbar's breath in my right ear, pumped out of my cellphone. I remember the first time I heard Megan sing, when Dad was yelling at Lisa (never Mother or Mama or anything, always Lisa) and she had pulled Roxas and I into her bedroom to escape the fighting, and we'd both been scared. Megan had probably been scared too, but being Megan, she would never let it show. She had sung... um... I think it was "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" by My Chemical Romance. I'm not nearly as knowledgeable about MCR as Meg would like me to be. Then again, you could say the same about her and David Bowie.

"Xigbar?" I said quietly, pulling up my sleeves again to look down at the ugly red cuts sitting atop ugly white and in some places purple scars. "Do you have scars anywhere except your face?"

He sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. "I think that that's a conversation for another day, DemDem. I really want to see you right now. Are you doing anything?"

I shook my head, then remembered that Xigbar couldn't see me. "No, not really. I have a little homework to do but it can wait. You want to meet up somewhere?"

"You ever been on the top of the clocktower?"

"_No_." The word shoved its way out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I cringed when I realised how harsh it sounded. "I can't go up there." _Don't make me_, I added in my mind. _And don't ask why_.

"Okay, DemDem." Xigbar sounded worried, but he knew that there was a reason I wasn't explaining myself. "You want me to pick you up from your place?"

"Roxas –" I began, not even considering Megan because she knows more or less everything anyway.

"We can lie, Dem." I frowned. "Or even just stretch the truth. Please? I'm worried about you. I love you, you know."

"I love you too," I whispered, biting my lip. Roxas wasn't home yet – Megan had dismissed the fact that he had missed the bus with a simple "He's with Axel", which was good enough for me – but if he turned up just as Xigbar was picking me up...

"So can I take you out somewhere?" Xigbar asked hopefully. My chest prickled with guilt and confusion. Why was everything so weird and complicated all the time?

"I guess so. I should probably tell Meg." I took a deep breath. "Xigbar... um..."

"What is it?"

"Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it, DemDem." I bit back a smile at being called DemDem again. "I'll see you in a few minutes, okay? And bring a jacket or something. It'll be cold."

"Okay, Xiggy. Love you." Which jacket? The black one? Or was the black one too miserable? What about the grey one? Hadn't I worn that yesterday? Gahh.

"Love you too DemDem."

Then he hung up the phone.

_Which Godforsaken jacket should I wear_?

"Megan!" I yelled from my room, still trying to decide on a jacket. "I'm going out in like, ten minutes, all right?"

"Yeah, it's fine, Dem!" she yelled back, and I heard the sound of the washing machine being opened. She was probably going to start piling stuff into the dryer now. "Tell Xigbar I say hi!"

"I will – wait, how did you know I was gonna be with him?"

"I didn't until you said that!" she called from downstairs. "Wear a jacket!"

I can't _choose_ a jacket.

xxx

Dayum, it's short. (That's what she said, hehehe, general immaturity.) Figured I'd give you a little bit of suspense in the form of XIGDEM, because I love XigDem big much, and some AkuRoku love and a random old lady and just general Unicorn of death shit because I love you all.

I'm so tired. And hungry. FEED ME YOUR REVIEWS PLEASE. Thank you all and have a nice day.


	23. Chapter 23

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Xigbar**

I stood on Demyx's doorstep, not sure whether I should knock on the door or not. On the one hand, if Roxas or Megan opened it, I was screwed. On the other hand, if I called Demyx to tell him I was here, he would probably go all moral on my ass about lying to his siblings.

My problem was solved when Megan wrenched open the door anyway.

"No, you cannot come in. Demyx is on his way, he's having a meltdown about which jacket to wear. He's leaving this house a virgin and that's how I want him to return, and if he wants to pay for something you have to let him. Uh... I think that's all that I had to say."

I laughed. "You really think I'm gonna take his virginity... yet?" Oops, she was scowling now. Ah well. "Tell him to wear the grey jacket he was wearing yesterday. It's really cute." It was really cute.

"Dem!" she called over her shoulder. "Xigbar says wear your grey jacket!"

"Megan! Oh my _God_!" Demyx's voice was kind of strangled. I heard a door open somewhere within the house and Demyx came down the stairs, clutching his grey jacket and looking pink in the face and one hundred percent fuckable – although that was information best kept to myself. "You are so _embarrassing _sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" she replied with a charming smile. "You two have fun. Try not to let Larxene see you this time. She'll tell everyone in the universe, _plus three_."

"Whatever you say, Meg," Demyx said condescendingly, patting Megan on the head. Most people were nowhere near that brave. I watched him shrug on his jacket, give his sister a brief hug goodbye, and escape out the door, slamming it behind him.

"You okay?" I asked softly, taking his hand.

He nodded. "Way better, now that you're here."

Aww. I wrapped my fingers around his, loving the way his hand clung to mine almost instinctively, loving the warmth of his hand and the pulse in his palm that went far faster than one would expect considering we were just strolling down the street. Of course, maybe it was my pulse. Either way, at least one of us had a heart hammering in our hand, and even though the cold evening air was poking me from all directions, I was oblivious to everything other than Demyx's hand in mine.

"We can go to that pizza place again if you want. Or you could come back to my apartment..." Don't think too hard about that possibility, Xigbar, you'll get a nosebleed. "Whatever you want, really."

Demyx stuck his tongue between his teeth, deep in thought. Oh, there were so many far better uses that that tongue could be put to... "I wouldn't mind just grabbing some fries from that place near the Sandlot and then heading to the park," he suggested, looking at me all hopeful and childish and reminding me again of the age gap. "Please?"

"Whatever you want, kid." And no, you are not paying. _I_ am paying, because if there's one thing I know in this entire fucked-up situation, it's that _I_ am the seme and _I_ pay for the food.

"I'll pay." It was a statement, not a question, and he was almost waiting for me to contradict him, I could tell.

"No, you will _not_. I'm paying." I leaned to the side as we walked and kissed him on the cheek. That was about as close to sex as we were ever going to get at this rate. "When we get to the park, can I see your cuts?"

Demyx's face suddenly closed a little and I swallowed hard, hoping that things weren't going to go wrong now, when we'd got so far... "Sure. Just don't get mad, okay?"

"Why would I get mad?" I asked. If someone had yelled at my DemDem for something that was probably their fault to start with...

"Because you're the kind of person who would. You said yourself that if anyone ever hurt me then you would be severely annoyed." I actually said "pissed off", but Demyx doesn't swear unless he doesn't realise it's a swearword. "So logically, you would be angry at me, since it's me that hurt me. Make sense?"

Yes, in a purely linear way that leaves out all the obvious emotion parts.

"Demyx, I don't think I could be angry at you if I tried," I told him, spotting the fast food place that Demyx wanted fries from and picking up my pace slightly. "I'm madly in love with you and would rip apart any asshole who laid a finger on you... but I could never be angry at you."

"You say you would rip apart anyone who laid a finger on me..." Cute, how he avoided using the word "asshole". "...What about Zexion?"

I growled slightly. "Don't you talk to me about that little cunt," I spat. Demyx's hand suddenly left mine and he folded his arms, looking down at the ground as he walked. _Shit_, now I had yelled at Demyx. I hate myself. "Look, Dem, I'm sorry, I just..."

"Forget it. It's okay." He made no move to take hold of my hand again. If only there were a wall for me to smack my head against now. "Nice how you say you could never, ever get mad at me, and then nine seconds later..."

"Demyx, I'm _sorry_, I wasn't mad at _you_, it's just, I..." We had arrived at the fast food place. "Dem, c'mon."

"Two large fries please," Demyx smiled at the girl serving the food. The girl herself was quite clearly a slut, her face caked in make-up and her brown roots clearly showing through her blonde hair. Demyx, of course, didn't see that.

"There you go, good-lookin', that'll be four hundred munny." She smiled suggestively at him, and I could feel my blood boil as I reached for my wallet –

"Here you go." _He just paid_. "Thank you. By the way, I really like your necklace."

Most girls would take this to mean "I've been looking at your tits" and if it were anyone except Demyx, I would've taken it to mean that too. The slutty fast food girl looked down at the cheap necklace that probably came free in Slut Weekly and smiled at Demyx. "Aww, _thank_ you!" she squeaked. Okay, I was officially furious now. "You should come here more often."

He grinned. "Maybe I will. See you around."

He turned to me, already beginning to walk and assuming I would follow. Of course I followed. I don't think I could have done anything else. "Demyx?" I muttered, trying not to let it show that I wanted to turn around and go back to the fast food place and murder everything.

"Yeah?" he responded flatly, handing me my large fries and being careful to avoid any contact at all between our hands.

"Um... you know how I said I'd pay?"

He smirked. I didn't even know he had the necessary facial muscles for smirking. It looked kind of odd on his cute li'l face. "You kinda missed your chance."

"Did you even notice that that girl was flirting with you?" It was a genuine question. Demyx is not known for his understanding of the human race, especially girls.

Demyx blinked at me, looking completely thrown. There's your answer. "Oh." His forehead creased slightly. "Girls are so _weird_."

"Look, DemDem, I'm really sorry about snapping at you before. It's just... I'm getting closer and closer to just losing it with Zexion and starting something that will probably lose me my job, because it would be one thing if you two were just being all cutesy with each other but he's taking advantage of you and you can't even see it..." I took a deep breath, trying valiantly not to let my words get ahead of me. "Demyx, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He reached over and took hold of my free hand with his, carrying his fries casually and making no motion to eat them. "I kind of expected you to get mad at some point this evening."

I hate myself, I hate myself, _I hate myself_...

"Oh, Demyx," I sighed, as we emerged from the alley into the park and started looking for a quiet bench. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry." He tugged me over to a bench and we sat down, Demyx starting to rip apart his fries. "So..."

"Cuts." I was going to try not to get all emotional about this. "Let's see them."

He started chewing on his lower lip rather than his food, but he knew that he wasn't going to avoid this. "Okay," he said. "Okay..." He put his food back down on his lap and tugged up his sleeves. "There you go."

I sucked in a breath. I had seen – fuck, I had sustained – much worse than this, but on Demyx it looked worse. Not one millimetre of his wrists was the colour it should have been – it was all either old scars or newish scars or healing cuts or even fresh-looking cuts, all of which must have stung like fuck and bled a lot too. I looked up at him, seeing his eyes trained on his own wrists like he was seeing them for the very first time. Trying to gauge his reaction, I brushed my fingertips over one of the newest-looking cuts.

He hissed but didn't pull away. "Sorry, Dem," I muttered, tilting his wrists towards the setting sun to try and see them better. "_Shit_..."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, as I let him have his hands back and pull his sleeves back down. "Ugly, right?"

"Not at all," I told him, moving closer and putting an arm around him. "Now, come on, eat up. And I fully intend to give you back the munny for this food."

"Um, _no_, I paid. I am the paying person tonight." He snuggled into me slightly. I decided that things were still too delicate and painful for me to try kissing him at the moment. "Isn't it nice here?"

"Yeah, if you like generic parks filled with questionable teens," I muttered. Demyx ignored this, taking one of my fries and feeding it to me, because I don't fucking know, because he _could_. It was adorable. "I love you, Demyx."

"Love you too, Xigbar." I loved the way he said my name, and the tiny smile that lurked on his face when he told me he loved me, and everything about him, literally everything.

"Well, well, well." I felt Demyx tense against me and immediately turned to the source of the voice. It was the slutty fast food girl, and she was flanked by a brunette with literally no tits and an overweight blonde who, unlike the slut in the middle, did not have obvious brown roots. "What have we here?" Her voice was acid filled with sugar, corrosive but masked with sweetness, and I knew for a fact that that was more of a danger to Demyx than any outright bitching.

"Oh, hi," said Demyx, moving a little further away from me and smiling brightly. I couldn't really tell whether he was acting or not. "Nice to see you again."

"Indeed." I noticed her eyes focusing sharply on the scar across my cheek, my lack of both eyes, and my arm that was now more slung across the back of the bench than it was around Demyx. "So are you gonna introduce your friend?"

"This is my older sister's boyfriend, Xigbar." Everything I had seen and heard so far in my life had added up to Demyx being a shit liar, so _why was he so good at it now_? "My sister's insisting that we try and get along better so it's not quite so awkward when she has him over for dinner. What about your friends?" He pointed to the fat blonde and the brunette who probably didn't eat at all.

It suddenly hit me that, disregarding the small fact that Megan was younger than Demyx, I had just been introduced as _Megan's boyfriend_. Oh, fuck. That was just... painful.

"This is Hailey –" The fat one nodded but didn't smile, "– and this is Charlotte." The brunette waved peppily. God, I hate peppy people. "I didn't catch your name earlier...?"

"Demyx," he said warmly, reaching out and shaking her hand. I prickled but said nothing, knowing that Demyx was only covering us, knowing that he didn't even realise that this bimbo was flirting with him the first time. "And you...?"

"Midna." Stupid name, really fucking stupid name. "So what brings you and your sister's boyfriend to the park?"

Demyx rolled his eyes in a highly realistic imitation of someone who did not give a portion of a fuck. "She kind of went nuts this morning because they came downstairs after spending the night up in her room, you know..." He paused for effect. It wasn't so effective for me, partially because I knew it was a lie and partially because I knew that all he meant, all he understood from his own sentence was extended making out. "And me and our little brother, Roxas, we were making fun of them both, but it was mostly me..."

"And then I flipped out and some cereal got mistreated and the rest was history," I finished for him, as if we'd already told this story three times today and I was bored of it. "God, Demyx, do you have to whine to everyone we meet about it?"

Demyx snuck me a look that made my heart skip a beat – a look that said _We have a secret together, and we're filthy little liars and that's just fine with me_, a look that was sexier than anything I'd seen on his face before – and then turned back to the girls. "Sorry about him. He probably has _some_ good qualities, or my sister wouldn't put up with him, but they're hidden pretty well."

The three of them giggled. The skinny brunette – Charlotte – perched on the bench next to Demyx and helped herself to one of his fries. He didn't bat an eyelid. "So are you two stuck with each other all evening?" she chirped, holding herself in such a way that her barely-there tits were blindingly obvious. Demyx, being as gay as a triple rainbow (as Megan so lovingly put it) did not give one single fuck about her tits.

"Yeah, more or less." Demyx sighed dramatically. "Still, gotta stay on the right side of my sister. She does the grocery shopping, you see. If I'm not nice to her then she doesn't pick up any of the food I like."

"Aww," said Hailey, flicking blonde hair over one of her ample shoulders. Midna was still looking at Dem and I like she was trying to figure out a way to squish herself between us. "So you still live with her?"

"Well, it's kinda weird, because she lost her job recently so she moved back in with Mom, Dad, Roxas and I, just as I was planning to move out, and now we're not quite sure whether my parents can put me through college and support my sister at the same time." Demyx sighed. _How did he get so good at acting_? "Still, gotta put her first, y'know?"

"Oh, yeah, totally," Midna said, nodding vigorously. "I have a sister and I'd do, like, anything for her. She's pregnant with her third kid at the moment so she needs a lot of help."

Demyx continued to nod and joke and lie for about half an hour until all the fries were gone. Midna had ended up perched on Demyx's knee and I was trying to ignore it, but these three sluts couldn't seem to understand the thing that was almost always obvious to everyone else: _Demyx is gay_.

Demyx is also _mine_, but I think we were kind of trying to hide that.

"I hate to say it, girls, but I think we'd better get home. My sister's probably waiting for the police to show up and announce our deaths." Demyx guided Midna gently off his knee with his hands on her waist and then stood up. "Coming, Xig?"

"Xig". _Megan _calls me "Xig". My _mother_ used to call me "Xig". It wasn't cute or sexy or anything I wanted – expected, really – from Demyx. I knew we were just acting, just trying to placate these girls because Larxene taught us that pissed-off teenage girls spread shit like it's nothing, but it hurt like fuck to think that in some alternate reality, Demyx was straight, and I really was Megan's boyfriend (eww, she would kill me, and Seifer would kill me, and everyone would just be dead) and Dem was with some slut like Midna or Hailey or Charlotte.

We finally managed to extricate ourselves and start walking back to Demyx's house (but not before the three girls had insisted on giving him their numbers and Midna had had the fucking nerve to fucking _hug_ him), and now had our fingers interlocked again.

Demyx looked up at me. It was almost dark now, and his eyes looked more green than blue, sparkling under the streetlights. "Sorry about all of that. Naminé had some trouble with Midna a few years back. I know she can be nasty if she doesn't get her way, so I figured..."

"It's fine, DemDem, don't worry." I kissed the side of his head, loving the shy smile that spelled itself out on his face. "Can I just ask where the fuck you learnt to lie like that?"

He shrugged, but a little bit of mischief started to play behind his eyes. Mmm. I wondered how much he would mind our first kiss being in a dank alleyway on a cold evening in Twilight Town. I was seriously in need of something more than shy pecks on the cheek and holding hands. "I wasn't really lying so much as acting. Just emulating someone else is all." He cocked his head as he looked at me. "Why're you looking at me like..."

"Nothing," I said a little too fast. I knew that really, I had to wait for him to kiss me, or at least make sure that he was fully ready for me to kiss him. "Just... thinking."

He grinned. "You have a really gorgeous thinking face, you know."

"Let's get you home," I murmured. _Before I fuck you into a wall or the floor or the ceiling – _

Ugh, this sucked so bad.

**Megan**

The rest of the school week had gone remarkably quickly, with very little happening except Xigbar dropping Demyx off on the doorstep and muttering about "that slutty little bitch Midna" (whose left arm I had already broken in two places, but the less said about that, the better) with a murderous glint in his eye that I'd only ever seen before in the mirror. Oh, and I had found out what happened in Math. I fell asleep on Seifer's shoulder. The shoulder that I decided to set fire to after discovering that he had encouraged me to sleep on it. That shoulder.

Another trip to Marluxia's office, where I was given tea and biscuits and we talked about why burning Seifer was a bad idea, and then frantically discussing outfits with Naminé because Luxord was coming to visit at the weekend. I had been permitted to meet him on the condition that I didn't burn him, threaten to burn him, or burn things in his presence. We decided that I could stay over on Saturday night, and because the thought of leaving Dem on his own with Roxas sucked on more than one level, I had dispatched Demyx to stay the night with Zexion (simply because I knew for a fact that Zexion's parents would be around being cockblocks and frowning at everyone) and Roxas with Axel (after giving them both a lecture about safe sex and basically embarrassing the fuck out of Rox). Dad... well, Dad could go fuck himself.

"Megan!" I stopped abruptly in the middle of the hall at the end of the day on Friday, Naminé looking at me worriedly. "Turn around and get your ass back here."

I sighed heavily. Really, avoiding Xigbar all day was bound not to work, and I kind of deserved what was coming to me.

"What's this I hear about _you_ deciding that Demyx should sleep over at _Zexion_'s house this weekend?" Xigbar snapped, glaring down at me with one eye. I curved my shoulders slightly, deciding that going on the offensive wouldn't help me in the slightest. "_Why_ would you do that?"

"Well, the thing is..." At least try and explain. Then just sit back and let him get mad at you. "I'm staying over at Nami's..." Speaking of Nami, she was hovering awkwardly at the end of the corridor, powder-blue folder clutched to her chest like a barrier to protect her from Xigbar's blame and anger. "And I couldn't leave the boys on their own, so Dem needed to stay with someone..."

"And that someone couldn't have been _me_?" Xigbar snarled. "Or _Marluxia_ or _Yuffie_ or _Xion_ or literally _anyone_ who would be willing to help Dem out, anyone at all, fucking _Santa Claus_ for all I care. Just. Not. _Zexion_."

I bit my lip. "Look, Xig, I really like you and respect you and all that shit. But the thing is, you've had two dates with Dem this week, and don't pretend they weren't dates, because we all know that they were. And as Demyx's sister, it's my job to make sure he's happy. And that means picking the guy he needs, not the one I like the most. So he needs to spend time with _both_ of you, and get to know you _both_, so he can actually make an accurate decision. Know what I mean?"

Xigbar scowled heavily. "There is a _difference_ between me and him eating ice cream together and him spending the night with that _thing_, who we all know is going to try something off-colour and end up –"

"Xigbar," I interrupted. "Zexion's incredibly conservative parents are going to be there. If the worst comes to the very fucking worst, Demyx will have gained an understanding of sex, and then guess what you can do?"

Xigbar's mouth hung open slightly. "You mean... I have... like... your permission?"

The fact that you actually care whether or not you have my permission automatically earns it for you, Xigbar.

"Well..." I said slowly, looking down at my semi-destroyed fingernails. "If you think it's right... as long as Demyx is okay with it, as long as he understands the significance of it and everything, then I can't really stop you, can I?"

Xigbar's face split into a grin. "Thanks, Megan." Then he frowned again. "But I really would like to be Demyx's first, y'know?"

"Perhaps you should have a quiet word with Zexion about the window and gravity," I suggested with my evil face on. "Look, I doubt very much that anything will happen. Demyx is a pansy. If Zexion tries anything that hurts even a little, he's going to back out straight away."

Xigbar nodded. "You'd better be right, young lady."

Young lady? Huh. Never been called _that_ one before.

"I'm always right," I responded, tilting my chin up defiantly. Defiant of what? Eh, I'm just a defiant person in general.

"I hope so."

I sauntered off down the corridor to rejoin Naminé, who was waiting expectantly for me with a small smile on her face.

"You and Xigbar are gonna get along _great_ when he marries your brother," Naminé grinned, still holding her folder to her chest like a shield.

On the bus home, I fell asleep again, and when I woke up, it was Saturday morning (by about an hour – it was kind of one a.m.) and I was in Naminé's bed.

You wanna know something really hilarious? There was this rumour going around last year – and I think I can guess who started it – that Naminé and I were together. It would make sense, people said. Demyx was the gayest person ever to walk the halls of our school, and Roxas just didn't really care about girls, so of course that automatically made me gay as well. God, people were so _stupid_. I mean, I can kind of see where they're coming from in terms of the way I treat Naminé, but it's instinct really to protect blondes with blue eyes because that's how both my brothers look. But the whole "Her brothers are gay so she must be too" thing made me want to burn down the entire fucking school.

"Nami?" I whispered to the dark, knowing without thinking that Naminé would be in the bed next to me, as she always was when I slept at her place. "You awake?"

"Halfway." I heard and felt her shifting under the duvet and realised she must have been turning to face me. "I've been dozing on and off since nine o'clock."

"Did I just go out like a light on the bus?" I murmured, snuggling into Naminé's pillow.

"Yeah. When we got to our stop Cloud was waiting for us. He came into the bus and carried you up to my bed, and just said to let you sleep as long as you needed to." I felt something soft and not-quite-as-warm-as-it-should've-been reach out under the covers and grab my hand. Naminé's fingers were as starved as the rest of her and because her body wanted to keep functioning, it was spending the few calories she gave it on her heartbeat and her lungs instead of frivolities like keeping her hands warm. "Megan, I'm really nervous about seeing Luxord tomorrow – well, later today."

"Don't be." I squeezed her hand. "It'll be okay, Naminé, I promise. I'll be nice to him, and he'll take one look at your gorgeous face and he'll just be like, "Dayum!" and then you'll live happily ever after."

Naminé giggled. "You're still half asleep, aren't you, Meg?"

"Don't call me Meg." None of the fierceness was in my voice that night and in truth I preferred it that way, at least when it came to Nami. "Have you had your first kiss yet?"

"You mean with Lux, or in general?"

I shrugged, then remembered we were in the pitch black and I was lying down anyway, so it was completely pointless. "Both, I guess."

Naminé wriggled closer to me, and I could tell that she was cold so I kicked my side of the duvet off and let her have it. "Luxord and I haven't kissed. But you_ know_ I've had my first kiss already."

"Oh, yeah." I laughed weakly at my own stupidity, wondering how I could forget that moment. "I remember now." Something reached out of the dark to tuck my hair behind my ear. "I'm a little bit tired, you know."

"I can tell," Naminé whispered, laughter dancing on the edges of her voice. "Can't believe you forgot my first kiss, though." I made an apologetic, tired noise at the back of my throat. "You never got around to telling me... was it your first too?"

"As far as I can remember." I can haz sleep yet? Nami's bed was so _comfy_... "We should get some sleep, you especially. Big day tomorrow, y'know."

"Night, Megs." For once I didn't bother correcting her. I didn't have the energy. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, hun." We were still holding hands. I stroked her hand with my thumb, slowly, rhythmically, until I dropped off to sleep.

Okay, looking at things objectively, I could kind of see why people assumed we were a couple.

But we weren't.

She had Luxord, I was constantly being mindfucked by Seifer, and besides anything else, I'm not gay and neither is Nami. Although we did both squee endlessly over other gay couples, but I think that's a normal teenage girl thing.

Barely six hours later, I was being woken up by a bony hand on my shoulder. "Megan..." came a coaxing voice, one that I recognised and decided not to kill. "Megan, it's seven in the morning, we need to get ready, Luxord's coming at ten..."

"Luxord's coming, eh?" I murmured, grinning into the pillow when I was rewarded with a few peals of laughter from Naminé. "'Kay, gimme, like, five minutes and I'll be downstairs bullying you into eating breakfast."

Naminé sighed. "You're such a pain sometimes, Megan."

"Wish I could say the same for you, Li'l Miss Perfect." I pulled myself upright, peeling one eye open to see Naminé trying to drag a hairbrush through knotted blonde hair. "Nami, don' worry 'bout your hair," I told her thickly, only half-awake. "I'll brush it for ya after breakfast."

"Thanks, Megan," she replied warmly, setting down the silver hairbrush and turning to the door. "If you aren't downstairs in ten minutes I'm gonna assume you fell asleep again and I'll get Cloud on your ass, okay?"

I decided not to mention that no one who liked boys would _mind_ having Cloud on their ass. "Mkay."

I got out of Naminé's bed. I was still in yesterday's clothes. Niiice. Oh, well – Nami would lend me some of her stuff from before the whole food thing, some of her old clothes that were actually designed for people who did _not_ weigh less than your average ten-year-old boy.

Glance in the mirror. God, I looked like shit. Ah, well. I could fix that. Or maybe I'd just carry on looking like shit so that Naminé looked better by comparison. Friends do that kind of thing. I totally wasn't just using it as an excuse to not brush my hair.

"Hey, Megan." Cloud waved apathetically at me from the breakfast table. I knew for a fact that those were the only two words I was going to hear him say all day. I sat down next to Naminé, very glad that her parents were mysteriously absent, as always, and looked at the cereal she had poured herself. Well, I say "poured", but I don't think you can actually call it pouring if there's only like two pieces in the bowl.

She gave me a pleading look. "Megan, I know I should eat more. I swear to you, I swear on _Edward Cullen_, I swear that I will have two thousand calories tomorrow. But I just don't want to feel fat while I'm with Luxord, you know?"

I bit my lip. Really, Naminé needed two thousand calories _every_ _day_, you know, like a _normal_ person, but I was kind of trying to pick my battles here. And I knew that Naminé was trying her very best, and that was about all I could hope for.

"Okay. You have an apple now and at least five hundred calories at lunch, then we can bicker about dinner and what you're gonna eat tomorrow. Fair compromise?" She nodded. "Good girl."

xxx

Yayz, more XigDem. Don't panic too hard, there will of course be more Zemyx very soon, because guess where Demyx is while Megan is at Nami's? Oh, and I just wanted to say to y'all... you rock. In the past month, I've had 3,380 hits and 1,147 visitors on all my stories, which made me absolutely freak out when I saw it, and of course, all your beautiful reviews. It's weird to think that I first started writing fanfiction with the mindset that "If the worst comes to the worst, I'll get a whole bunch of flames and then I'll just stop writing", but actually everyone's been really positive about my writing and I'm really grateful for it. Y'all have really helped my self-esteem and general happiness recently and I thank you all for it.

Anyway, enough sentimental crap. Review, read my other fanfics, etc, etc.


	24. Chapter 24

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

"You have... like... _all_ the books in the universe. _Plus three_," I said in a hushed voice, looking around Zexion's room in awe. Literally every shelf was stacked high with intimidating-looking books, mostly hardbacks whose titles were in foreign languages or English so advanced it could barely be called English any more. Zexion himself sat on his bed, his gaze following me around the room as I stared, awe-struck, at his own little library of a bedroom.

"I like books," he said simply, shrugging. "There are a couple of things I like more, though. Things I prefer to do with my time."

I paused in front of the Harry Potter books. "I was so shocked when I found out that these were all true," I said, running my finger along the spine of Prisoner Of Azkaban, which had always been my favourite because of my slight crush on Sirius. "I can't believe they sold the story to that Rowling person and she took credit for it as a work of fiction."

"I heard a whole bunch of different rumours about that," Zexion said from behind me. I could feel his eyes on my lower back. "Someone said that she _had_ to write it as fiction because of the wizard/Muggle segregation laws, and then there was this theory going around that she didn't even write the narrative of the books, just stole Harry's diary and changed it all to the third person... I don't know. It all seems quite pointless to me, anyway. Your sister learnt Fire Whispering all on her own, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did," I said proudly, glad that people were actually talking positively about Megan for a change. "She's a really smart girl if you can be bothered to look past the whole murder thing."

I heard the creaking of bedsprings behind me and all of a sudden two slender arms were around my waist and a chin was on my shoulder. I think Zexion was actually standing on an encyclopaedia so that he could hug me properly. N'aww. "So... what d'you wanna do today, Demyx?"

Last night, Megan had fallen asleep on the bus, and I probably should have gone straight to Zexy's place, but Naminé told me to stay the night at Axel's with Roxas and make sure that they weren't still fighting. It looked to me like Roxas was kind of mad at Axel and Axel was trying to win him back. In any case, Roxas had spent the night in Axel's bed, and I had stayed on his couch, and now here I was at nine in the morning with Zexion hugging me from behind and a whole day and then a whole night of just Zex.

"Hm. I don't know. Spend more time with you." I craned my neck back to kiss him on the lips, gently. "Talk about stuff, y'know..."

"Come over here then," Zexion said, taking my hand and leading me back to his bed, where I sat down cautiously next to him. "How are you, anyway?"

"'M fine," I half-lied, wondering whether he would notice that I wasn't really telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. _Some_ people were able to tell I was lying practically before I opened my mouth.

_If you're gonna keep comparing Zexion to Xigbar, and vice versa, you are just going to make yourself miserable_, I told myself sternly.

"Demyx..." I looked Zexion dead in the eye. When I was younger I used to be terrified of making eye contact with people, and I admit I still don't like it now. But at least now I could do it, and Zexion had incredibly gorgeous eyes so I couldn't really hate it as much as I would usually. "We're all alone in my bedroom. Is there anything you want to do right now?"

Now, recently, I have noticed something. Whenever Zexion and I are making out, it ends weirdly. He has this thing about trying to take off my belt. And touching me in the _weirdest_ places. And calling me a baby when I complain. But I do complain, I tell him every single time not to in the hope that one day he'll get the message. Maybe today, we could just have a normal kissing session, and then we could go to sleep, and then I could wake up in his arms and everything would be hunky-dory.

"Um..." I said, mostly buying myself time because I really didn't know what I wanted at this point, "...we could..."

Zexion smirked at me. "We could what, Demyx?" Always Demyx, never Dem or Demy or _DemDem_... Not that I was comparing. Comparing was bad.

"Uh... this?" I leaned in and kissed him, clumsily at first because I was still unsure of myself around him, and immediately he kissed back.

"Demyx," he whispered against my mouth, "_my_ Demyx..."

Against my will, my eyebrows pulled together angrily, but I carried on kissing Zexion. I wasn't anybody's anything – if there was one thing that Megan had taught me, it was that I was my own person. I didn't belong to anyone, especially not Zexion, who was trying to undo my belt again. By happy coincidence (well, okay, actually it was deliberate) I was wearing my oldest belt, the one with the stiff buckle that could draw blood from your fingers before you managed to crack it open. I took hold of Zexion's hands and pulled them away from my trousers, ignoring the disappointed noise he made and deepening the kiss by way of compensation.

Maybe things weren't too bad. Maybe I could carry on juggling both Xigbar and Zexion. Maybe... maybe I would be okay.

My cellphone started vibrating in my pocket. If the universe was taunting me or something... "Hello?" I answered, having to kick away a suddenly very needy Zexion who wanted to put his hands up my shirt for some strange reason.

"Hey, Demyx." Oh, it was Xigbar. That was okay. "What're you up to?"

"Just hanging out with Zexion," I told him, watching Zexion roll his eyes before moving to snuggle next to me, his arms around my waist and cheek on my shoulder. "What about you?"

"You're with Zexion?" I could hear the annoyance in his voice, which had taken on a kind of five-years-old sound. "Dem_Dem_, I don't like him!"

"Wow, Xigbar, you sound _so mature_," I teased, noticing Zexion starting to scowl when I said Xigbar's name.

"It's not _fair_!" wailed Xigbar. I laughed, trying desperately to ignore Zexion's hand on my leg.

I decided that discussing Zexion was not the best of ideas and scrabbled madly for something to change the subject to. "So... um..."

"I guess you want to get back to chewing on Zexion's face, right?" Well... yeah... now that you mention it...

"Demyx, what about _me_?" Zexion whispered in the ear that didn't have my cellphone pressed to it. I bit my lip, feeling just a little bit _horribly conflicted_, and took a deep breath. "Hang up on _him_ and pay attention to _me_."

It was only fair, really, considering how much of my attention Xigbar had had so far this week...

"Um... I..." I wasn't sure how I was going to finish that sentence, or even which of them it was directed at. "Uh..."

"It's okay, Dem." Xigbar sounded like it was everything other than okay. "You have fun with that thing – uh, with Zexion. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Xiggy."

"See ya, DemDem. I love you."

Zexion bit my ear. Erm... _why_? It felt really odd. Kinda cool... but odd. "Love you too, Xigbar," I breathed, praying to David Bowie that Zexion hadn't heard me. Then I hung up.

"Sooo, Demyx." All of a sudden Zexion had flipped me onto my back and was hovering over me. I gulped, mildly terrified by the glint in his eye that suggested he wanted to devour my flesh. "Do I have your attention yet?"

"Uh-huh," I whimpered, nodding like an idiot with my eyes fixed on Zexion, who was smirking. It was a very attractive smirk... very attractive indeed...

"_Good_," he more or less purred, leaning down so that his face was only a breath away from mine. "Now... where were we before _he_ called?"

"Um... we were... I..."

Zexion actually chuckled, which was so unsettling that I suddenly wished I was at home. "From here on out, you are _all_ _mine_."

**Roxas**

I woke up with a pounding in my head and no shirt.

Shit, whose bed was I in?

"Morning, Roxie." Oh, for fuck's _sake_... "Sleep well?"

"Considering your room is far too warm and I'm covered in _this_..." Oh, fuck, this was so icky, I needed a shower like _now_... "Don't look so fucking smug."

Axel grinned at me. "Not my fault if I'm proud of myself for making you moan like that. You think your brother heard us?"

"He left at six, didn't he?" I said, glancing at the clock. Half nine in the morning. I should probably go back to sleep, or shower. Either way, sitting here shirtless while Axel smirked at me was very low on my list of things I wanted to do. "He probably slept really deeply, or not at all. So either he heard everything, or he has no idea what happened while he was sleeping."

Axel nodded, probably not caring about Demyx anyway. "You know, Roxie, you look really _cute_ when you've just woken up."

"Oh, fuck off," I muttered, stretching until my back clicked and then looking down at myself. It could be worse, I suppose. My shirt was missing, but my underwear was in place and my trousers were around my ankles. The worst part was definitely the fact that I was covered in... ew. "I really need a shower..."

Axel grinned like the fucking Grinch at me and I realised too late the implications of showering in Axel's house. "I could use a shower too, actually..." he said slowly, his fingers locking around my wrist. "Come on, I need to... show you where the bathroom is..."

I scowled. "Axel, there's no way in fucking ever that I'm going to have a quickie with you in the fucking _shower_ –"

"It doesn't _have_ to be just a quickie," Axel said in what he probably thought was a sexy voice, reaching for my boxers but having his hands batted away. "_C'mon_, Roxie!" he whined. "Pleeease?"

"No, Axel, I have _standards, _okay?" I slid out of his bed and kicked my jeans off of my ankles because the last thing I needed with Axel in _this_ mood was to fall over. "We aren't doing it in the shower and that's that."

"_Please_, Roxas. I'll be your best friend. I will do everything for you today. I'll be your slave, not just sexually, I'll make you sandwiches and everything. Please?"

I glared at him. "You are such a dick, Axel."

"You seem to quite like dicks, though," Axel pointed out. And then, all of a sudden, he had swept me off my feet and was carrying me bridal-style into the bathroom.

I have to say, though, I was quite pleased with myself. Axel could barely walk straight.

After our shower, which lasted about an hour and ended rather abruptly with Axel refusing to let me top any more and me telling him that in that case, he wasn't getting any at all (the only condition of me having sex with him last night was that I had been on top) and both of us drying each other off and me wearing Axel's clothes, we headed downstairs. Axel pushed me into a seat at the kitchen table and poured us both some cereal.

"Here you go, gorgeous," he said, putting down a bowl in front of me.

"Thanks," I replied, beginning to shovel down cereal like a starving child because, well, I felt like one. Axel ate a little slower, but I could tell that he was hungry too. And he kept fidgeting in his chair. "What's wrong, Axie? Your chair uncomfortable or something?"

Axel pouted. "If you had let _me_ top..."

"You don't have enough _strength_ to top, you pussy. You would be complaining about me hurting your dick somehow, or squirming too much or something." I picked up my bowl and tipped the now-chocolatey milk down my throat.

"You _bitch_," Axel snarled, and before I knew what was even happening I was pinned to the floor with all the wind knocked out of me. "You are going to _pay_, Roxas. You're gonna scream my name so loud that –"

Then the most horrible thing happened.

Someone came into the room and cleared their throat loudly and really pointedly.

Axel immediately got off me and we both scrambled to our feet, faces burning red. "Um... hi, Grandma."

Oh... shit.

"Axel, I thought I said that I wanted introducing to your little Roxas?" Wait... what? "Honestly, you have _no_ manners."

"Grandma... you've just found me on the floor with my boyfriend... and you're complaining about my _manners_?" Axel's voice was strangled and his face was nearly the same colour as his hair. "Fricking typical."

Since Axel was clearly not going to introduce me I stepped forwards and introduced myself. "Hi, ma'am, I'm Roxas."

"Lovely to meet you, Roxas. Axel talks about you a lot." She shook my hand, and I noticed that she smelled of lavender. That instantly put me at ease, and I don't even know why. Maybe my mother, before she died...

"Grandma, you are so _embarrassing_," Axel moaned, cramming his hands into his pockets.

"I think you would get along great with my older sister, Mrs...?"

"Oh, call me Angie," she said warmly. "What've you two had for breakfast? Just cereal? Tsk, you should be eating meat and carbs in the mornings, boys, really. In my day..."

"She really would get on well with Megan," Axel muttered to me as Angie bustled past me to start making waffles. "Let's agree never to introduce the two of them."

"Definitely." I sat back down at the table and started chewing my nails. "I love you, Axel."

The smile on his face when I said that was suddenly worth all of the bullshit that had happened between us, him being a manipulative fuck and me being stubborn as all hell. "I love you too, Roxas."

"So..." Angie put down two plates of waffles in front of Axel and I and then leaned against the counter to eat her own. "Axel tells me you're the uke."

I very nearly died of shock right there. "_What_?"

She chuckled. "I don't suppose you are, from what I heard last night."

Axel covered his face with his hands. "Now you see why I wasn't all that surprised by your sister."

"I do hope you used protection, boys. You never know what could happen. Now I know that neither of you are going to get pregnant any time soon, and I know that neither of you are going to have anything nasty, but it's good to get into the habit now, while you're young, and then if you do end up sleeping with anybody questionable, then you'll know what to do, you understand what I mean?"

I stared at Axel with my mouth slightly agape. "Um..."

"Clearly Axel didn't warn you that I'm very, well, forward." Is this what Megan is going to be like when she's old? God help her grandchildren. God help us all, in fact. "So are you the uke?"

I cleared my throat. "Not... not really..."

Axel looked rather suicidal.

"You know, he tells us that he doesn't have any tattoos other than the ones on his face, but I do wonder..."

"He has one on his hip." Just pretend it's Megan, get on her good side, and stay there. "A weird spiky circle thing."

Angie tutted. "He thinks he's such a badass, ten years from now he'll be wishing that he'd got a dragon or something that's actually cool."

I think I quite like Axel's grandma, and fuck knows how Megan would react to her.

"You know, Angie whispered, as Axel left to go to the bathroom, "you are the first person he has ever brought home and said the words "I love you" to."

I blinked. "R-Really?" Angie nodded. "Wow... that's..."

Angie smiled. "You didn't think you were as special as you are, did you, Roxas? See, the thing is, Axel had a brother."

"_Had_?" I echoed.

"Yep. And he taught Axel how to manipulate people, how to twist them, how to push them. He was a bit... difficult. Not a bad child. But he had a rather interesting circle of friends that taught him some very negative ways of getting what he wanted, and he passed that onto Axel. He left a year ago, and Axel took it rather badly. He hasn't been in touch since, and Axel's started burning things a lot, messing with people's heads, you know... but I think you're the first person he's actually felt anything for since all the trouble with his brother started."

I slumped back in my chair. "Huh." I would hate if Demyx left. Or Megan. I don't think I could cope with either of them being led astray and then just up and going. "That's... that must have been so tough on him. And the rest of your family, too."

Angie nodded, cramming the last of her waffle into her mouth. "Well, I think you're doing Axel a lot of good, and his brother is wherever he wants to be, so I suppose that things are beginning to look up."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"No, thank you, for making my grandson into the happy, charming boy that he used to be before his brother left."

I have to say, I felt a whole lot better about myself after that.

xxx

So I got a review on my other fic, A million munny, saying that I never reply to reviews even though I always beg for them. And I wanted to clear this up for all those of you who are starting to get pissed about that.

I read my reviews over and over again. Every time I am close to doing something stupid, every time I'm miserable, every time I'm angry, I'll read my reviews. And they cheer me up a lot. And I really enjoy writing and getting feedback for my writing. But the last thing I want is for it to become a chore to write and to reply to every review, so I'm just gonna carry on doing things the way I do them. I stopped writing songs because there was so much pressure on me to keep writing songs, keep writing songs, keep writing fucking songs, and it stopped being fun. I'm scared that this will stop being fun too, and I'll be left with nothing to make me smile when the depression and the anger reaches its worst.

Sorry about the incredibly long author's note, just thought I'd get that off my chest. Thanks for reading, and for sticking with this story all the way to this twenty-fourth chapter. It means the world to me, you guys, it really does.


	25. Chapter 25

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Naminé**

Megan was, surprisingly, really sweet to Luxord.

I mean, she wasn't sugar-and-syrup, is-she-flirting-with-my-boyfriend-or-am-I-just-paranoid type sweet. She was just... normal. Sort of how she was around Xigbar, the way she used to be with Seifer's friends before she and Seifer started being... weird. She laughed with him but not at my expense – or at anyone's expense, really – and she told him stuff about herself that took her months to tell me, probably under the assumption that I would have told him anyway, which I wouldn't have done because I'd trust Megan with my life and there was no way I'd share anything about her with anyone she didn't like or trust or know.

"Ah, Nami, remember when we went to Halloween Town?" Megan asked, elbowing me gently.

"Don't remind me," I muttered darkly, sipping my black coffee some more. "Only good thing about that place is that Panic! At The Disco did a cover of their national anthem."

"Oh, you mean "This Is Halloween"?" I was really flattered that Luxord could be bothered to remember things about my interests. That's always a good sign, right? "Yeah, I liked that cover."  
>"Oi, what d'you mean, the only good thing? What about meeting Jack?" Megan nudged me.<p>

I grinned. "Yeah, Jack's lovely."

Luxord frowned. Aww, he had such a cute little frown. "Wait a minute. How did you two get to Halloween Town?"

Megan looked at me slyly and I had to giggle. "We kinda stole a Navigation Gummi from Naminé's Uncle Cid," she admitted, smirking slightly.

"We wouldn't have gotten away with it if it weren't for a certain someone distracting a certain head of a certain Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee," I reminded her. She went from smirking to scowling faster than light travels, but she couldn't ever scowl at me for more than a minute before relenting.

The thing about Megan is that she's so unapproachable sometimes. That's why I feel so safe on the right side of her. I still don't know why she picked me to take under her wing and look after, especially considering the fact that she had both of her brothers to deal with, and she didn't really think that she needed a _friend _as well, because friends were for pussies. But the fact of the matter was that she did need me, even when she pretended not to, even when she was having a bad day and throwing her weight around and insisting that she didn't need anybody. All those rumours about her having a crush on me were absolute bullshit, and we both knew it. Okay, we didn't exactly act like we were both just straight BFFs, but to be perfectly honest if Megan gave two fucks about what other people think then she wouldn't be Megan. I was pretty damn sure I liked guys and Megan was pretty damn sure that she liked guys too, and that was all there was to it.

"Naminé?" I looked up at Megan. "You're completely zoning out, hun. You sure you don't want anything to eat?"

I shook my head, noticing the odd look that Luxord shot her. "I'll be all right 'til lunch." I had promised Megan I would eat at least five hundred calories at lunch today. I really regretted that promise now, but I had to keep it. Megan was the only person who could really make me eat. "What are we having for lunch, anyway?"

Megan shrugged. "Whatever's best for you, I guess." Translation: I'm gonna let you eat whatever the fuck you like as long as there are calories in it. "I think I'm gonna go make a phone call. You two have fun, okay?"

"Megan!" I groaned, blushing brilliant neon pink and ducking my head slightly. She just winked at me and left the room, taking out her cellphone as she went.

"She seems a lot less lethal than you described her," Luxord said quietly, moving closer to me on the sofa. Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod... "I kind of expected her to pin me against the wall and threaten to burn my face beyond all recognition."

"She wouldn't, not while I'm around. She doesn't actually _dislike_ very many people. She just has this thing about sticking up for me and for her brothers."

Luxord slipped an arm around my shoulders, looking at me thoughtfully. "Do you think that she regards you as, like... a little sister?"

I shook my head, trying to figure out how Megan's mind works and failing miserably. "I'm pretty sure that there is a big difference in her mind between me and Roxas or Demyx. I think that she thinks of me as... well, I don't know, really. Marluxia says that she's trying to save me, like, she's projecting onto me... I think that she sees quite a lot of herself in me, more than she would care to admit considering I'm all blonde and frail and girly."

"You aren't frail. There's nothing wrong with being blonde." He gestured to his own blonde hair and beard. "And I'd be worried if you weren't girly."

_It's possible to be a girl without being girly_, Megan's voice chimed in my head, all feminist and badass and so on. "I am kinda frail, considering I weigh maybe a stone or two less than I should. But y'know..."

"You do need to eat, Nami." He smoothed hair out of my face. "You're far too beautiful to starve yourself." He leaned down, and I started to hyperventilate just a lickle bit. "Can I kiss you?"

"Mm-hmm," I half-squeaked, and he leaned down and kissed me softly, gently. It was rather different from my very first kiss in that it didn't taste like cherry and I didn't feel dizzy and I wasn't questioning all of my morals and boundaries and everything in the universe as it happens.

In short, it was cute, and exciting, but _way_ more boring than kissing Megan. I mean, that only happened once, ages ago, so maybe I played it up a little in my mind, but this was without a doubt very _different _from kissing Meg.

"I love you, Naminé," he breathed, his hand still holding my chin in place.

"Love you too, Luxord," I murmured, my fingers in his hair.

Megan sauntered back into the room, clearly very smug, tucking her phone back into her pocket. "I was only gone for two minutes, honestly, you two." I went pink again, knowing that she knew that that was Luxord and my first kiss. "I was just on the phone to Demyx."

"Ooh! What's happening with him and Zexion now?" I asked, suddenly tossed out of the blonde haze of kissing Luxord and launched back into the turbulent world of Megan and her life. To be honest it was more interesting there sometimes, and I felt more in my element.

"Apparently Zexion keeps trying to eat his ears." Aww, poor Demyx, if he could just _understand_... "I don't really know what Dem sees in him, but, y'know..."

"I like Zexion," I told Megan stubbornly, folding my arms and pouting. Luxord pulled me closer to him, but Megan just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I know you _like_ him, Naminé, but he's one of those people that I'm scared to leave alone with Demyx. Things aren't like that with Xigbar. I trust Xigbar. Regardless of whether I like him or not –"

"You know," I interrupted, "Seifer said something really interesting to me the other day. He said that he thinks you want Demyx to choose Xigbar, because he's like your surrogate dad. And you act up on purpose to get sent to Marluxia because he's like your surrogate mother." I could see that Megan was getting pissed but I knew that the worst thing that could happen was her storming out. "I just think that maybe you should think about your own motives for things before doing them, you know what I mean?"

Luxord was nodding next to me and the butterflies started polka dancing again.

"Why does Seifer care? Or rather, pretend to care?" Megan fell onto my favourite armchair and grabbed a pillow, wrapping both arms around it in a grip that was somewhere between needy and aggressive. _Somewhere between needy and aggressive_. Hm... who does that remind us of? "He's a manipulative dick. I'm so sick of him."

"You two used to be such great _friends_, though, that's the thing. He was always helping you to destroy the lives of your loved ones and then rebuild them the way you want them, sometimes the way that people needed them to be, you know? You two were unstoppable. And _you were happy_." I paused for dramatic effect here, because Megan's happiness was the only actual important thing in this conversation. "And then what happened?"

"Everything went to shit," Megan said, nuzzling the pillow. "It was awful, Nami, as I'm sure you recall."

"Well... yes." I didn't really want to recall that. I had never seen Megan so... not Megan. "But why did it go to shit, Meg? What happened?"

Megan sighed. "I dunno." I shifted slightly, never quite comfortable with no flesh left to sit on, and Luxord rested his cheek on top of my head. Heehee. "We were... we kept trying to one-up each other. And we were never a couple because we didn't want to be _that couple_, the narcissistic couple where both people are the same person, really, like you have so much in common that you're pretty much dating yourself... but yeah, we did stuff. And then that one thing happened..."

"The thing that you still won't tell me about, yes." As far as I was aware, the only people who knew what had happened were Roxas, Megan and Seifer themselves, and possibly Rai (who was too dumb to remember it for long enough to spread it around) and Fuu (who didn't talk enough to spread it around). Not even Demyx knew. Now, there are plenty of things that Demyx doesn't know. But Megan trusts him. And normally, she always turns to him for advice on guys – or she would, if guys didn't fear for their lives around her all the time and therefore avoid hitting on her. "But you guys weren't exactly alike. He kind of charmed people more than you. You threatened, lied to or just generally mindfucked them. And you have to remember the most important thing, Megan." She cocked an eyebrow, clearly not impressed by my sudden bout of psychoanalysis. "You were happy when you were with him, and miserable when you weren't."

"So? Demyx was really happy with that dick he was dating before. And then that dick was a dick –"

"And you nearly drowned him, yes, we know." I tried to ignore Luxord's slight coughing fit because I hadn't exactly mentioned some of Megan's more interesting escapades. "And then what happened to Demyx?"

Megan shut her eyes, holding the pillow tighter, terrified by the memory of that month after Demyx and that dick broke up. "He wouldn't leave the house for a month," she muttered, teeth tight together. "He hurt himself... so badly. Roxas wouldn't go into his room because the bedsheets and the pillows and the walls were all covered in Dem's blood. And then..." Megan sighed, a deep, shuddering sigh that you would expect from somebody who had just finished bawling their eyes out... except that Megan never cries. "And then he tried to jump... off the clock tower... and he... he said that... it wasn't because of him..." There were parts of this that I didn't know, and other parts I had heard slightly more vague, less heartbreaking versions of from Roxas. "It wasn't because of his ex being awful. It was because of me always being so angry and Roxas hardly even caring and Dad being... well, a nightmare, and him just feeling so alone... and... and it was _my fucking fault_, but he was blaming _himself_, and..."

I shot to my feet and somehow managed to propel myself across the room, sitting down on the arm of Megan's chair and slipping an arm around her shoulders. _Why isn't she crying? I would cry. Surely anyone would cry. _"It's not your fault, Megan," I said softly, giving Luxord a see-how-hard-it-is look and stroking Meg's hair. "I swear to God it isn't your fault. Demyx loves you to pieces. Roxas loves you. I love you. Marly loves you. Nobody thinks any less of you because you're angry. And you know what? Nobody would think any less of you if you cried."

Megan shook her head. "I can't cry. I never cry. I just... I need to be tough, you know? Anger... anger is the only thing I have. If I can make something positive out of anger... like, if I can use it to help you guys, or to learn more about Fire Whisperers, or... anything, really... I just..."

Luxord looked at me like "Should I leave the room?" and I kind of just looked over at the door. He got up without a word, taking out his phone as he went.

"Megan..." I patted her on the back, feeling her shake underneath me. "Megan, Megan, Megan... you're in a lot of pain, huh?"

She shook her head. There was a moment of silence, and then suddenly – "Don't be stupid, Nami, I'm _fine_. Now, how about some lunch?"

I covered my face with both hands and groaned. "Megan, you can't _do_ that. Just forget about my eating disorder for _two minutes_ and talk to me about _you_."

"There's nothing wrong with _me_," Megan giggled, a sickeningly forced giggle that made me want to rip my hair out. "C'mon, Naminé, you need food."

"Megan, you cannot keep doing this."

Megan smiled blandly at me, everything behind her face screaming at me to help her. "I'm not doing anything."

"Yes, you are!" I told her, my voice rising. "You're bottling everything up because... because why? Why won't you open up to me, Megan? I'm your best friend! I tell you everything! And you won't even tell me what you _dream_ about at night, let alone why you're so angry!"

"I'm not angry." She looked like a kicked puppy at the moment, far from the angry, firey girl that I was used to dealing with. "Now, you really need some lunch –"

"I'm not eating until you tell me why you're so angry." I folded my arms. "What's wrong? What was so awful about your childhood or – or whatever... what was so awful about it that gives you nightmares every night and makes you terrified of being touched – don't deny it, I _know_ you hate being touched – and why are you so angry? Why are you hurting so much? Megan, talk to me, Megan..." But she just wouldn't look at me. "Megan, please! If not me then who? Marluxia? I have his address, we can go there now. Xigbar? You could go see him on Monday, would that help? Megan, please, I want to help you..."

She shook her head. "You need something to eat, and I need to check on Roxas."

I snatched her phone from her hand the second it left her pocket. "You are not checking on _anyone_, Megan. You need to start thinking about yourself, not your brothers, not me. _You. _What do you dream about?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I don't remember."  
>"I heard you in your sleep last night. Not screaming, but muttering. Jessica and Riku and Zack and "Please don't hurt them" and "I'm sorry" over and over. Who are they? Do you remember a Jessica? A Riku? A Zack?"<p>

Megan swallowed. "Jessica... got... taken away. And Riku. They were on a different train."

"They were... what? What do you mean?" I asked softly.

She shrugged. "That's all I know, is that they were on a different train. I just kept thinking it after I woke up the other night, like, _Why were they on the other train_?"

"And Zack?" I prompted.

Megan bit her lip, staring into space. "Zack... he was... ill. In hospital."

"Do you actually remember any of their faces? Their surnames?"

She shook her head. "Nami, I don't want to talk about it any more," she said. "Please, don't make me talk about it any more."

I sighed. "Okay. C'mon, we can go get some lunch." I wasn't giving up, just stalling until next time I could confront her.

"Thanks." She stood up and so did I, and of her own accord she pulled me into a hug. "You're a really great friend, Nami."

"So are you, just not in the conventional way." Megan chuckled, her head tucked into my neck. "Do you ever wonder what things would be like if... if..."  
>"If what, Naminé?" she asked, pulling back to look at me.<p>

I felt myself blush. "If we were a couple. I mean, I know we're both straight, but..."

Megan grinned. "I know, I know, I'm so sexy that I confuse you and your hormones." She grinned even wider when I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just because of all the rumours and shit. How about we go find Luxord?"

Don't tell anyone, but... Luxord was so _boring_ compared to Megan. I wasn't crushing on her, not in the slightest, but I would rather be with her than Luxord sometimes. He was charming, but so was Meg, when she tried.

...Anyway. Time to stop rambling and force down some lunch.

**Demyx**

"Demyx?"

I looked up from the book I was reading, or rather, pretending to read. I had kind of freaked out earlier and shoved Zexion onto the floor, and now I was sitting on the edge of his bed staring at a Harry Potter book with unseeing eyes and trying to ignore Zexion pouting at me from across the room, making a point not to cave before I did.

"What?" I replied shortly, still kind of irritated at Zexion, even though it wasn't his fault. I just didn't really like people trying to take my jacket off, because my jacket was covering up... certain things. I know I couldn't expect Zexion to understand, since, you know, I never told him anything about it, but I needed someone to be angry at, and anyway, he needed to stop undressing me just in general.

"Are you pissed off at me?"

I shook my head, looking back down at the book I was "reading". "Nah, why would I be?"

"Because you pushed me onto the floor and now you're ignoring me."

"I'm not ignoring you." I turned the page. "You're the one who decided to sit all the way over there." I jerked my head in the general direction of where Zexion was sitting.

"Well, yeah, because I don't exactly want to end up on the floor again, do I?" Zexion was being super EMO, or maybe I was just being touchy. "Demyx... why aren't we actually a couple?"

"I told you, I'm really confused at the moment." I sighed. "It's just... everything is really messed up, and I just don't want a relationship right now, you know?"

"So you're just going to fuck with my head because you fancy Xigbar as well as me." I snapped Harry Potter And The I Don't Know Because I Wasn't Actually Reading The Book closed and glared at Zexion. "That's all it is, right? It's because you like Xigbar too. I'm not stupid, Demyx."

"Shut up," I said, my voice oddly quiet, something that I had probably picked up subconsciously from Meg. "I already told you why I don't want a relationship, and that doesn't just mean a relationship with you. Can you just drop it?"

Zexion scowled. For once I actually scowled back. "No, I can't just drop it. What the fuck are we, Demyx? You can't say we're just friends. Just friends don't make out or hold hands. If we aren't going out, what are we?"

I shrugged. "Are you saying you don't wanna make out or hold hands any more, just because I won't be your boyfriend?"

Zexion was silent, so I think that I won.

"You know, you look exhausted." I _was_ exhausted. Axel and Roxas had been fighting or something last night and at points it sounded like they were going to break the ceiling, the thumping was that loud. "You wanna go to sleep?"

I nodded, falling back onto Zexion's pillows and closing my eyes instantly. "Your bed is so comfy," I murmured, snuggling into his covers some more. I heard him get up and cross the room, and all of a sudden the mattress sunk next to me and two warm arms wrapped around my waist.

"You get some sleep. You know I really care about you, right, Demyx?"

"If you care about me so much, don't put your hand there," I told him, my voice slurring with tiredness. "But I care about you too, even if – ah! _Stop_ it!"

"Sorry, baby," he whispered, not sounding all that sorry. "I just can't help myself sometimes, you know?"

"Just go to sleep," I muttered, kissing him on the forehead and then pretending to fall asleep, but conveniently shifting or batting at something in one of my dreams whenever Zexion's hands ended up where they didn't belong.

In the morning, I woke up to Zexion's hands in the back pockets of my jeans, the midget EMO himself still fast asleep, and for a while I just lay awake and looked at his gorgeous face, and I realised why I was so in love with him in the first place. He was perfect.

After about an hour of drifting in and out of sleep, gazing at my not-boyfriend whenever I was awake, I decided I should probably get up. Zexion had conveniently forgotten to tell Megan that his parents were actually out of town this weekend, so we were actually unsupervised. As long as she didn't ask me about it directly, I could avoid telling her the truth. I mean, I can't lie to her any better than I can cook, but if I just didn't talk about at all, I wouldn't have to lie. Besides, it was only because Zexion needed a chance to spend time with me for a change, considering how much I'd hung out with Xigbar over the past week.

I sat up slowly, pulling Zexion's arms away from my waist with all the grace of a steamroller driven by a penguin, and rubbed my eyes. "Mornin', Demyx," Zexion said thickly through half a mouthful of pillow.

"Morning," I yawned. "Sleep well?"

"Brilliantly, yeah." Zexion sat up as well, leaning heavily against me. "When's your sister coming to pick you up?"

"She said around ten," I said, glancing over at the clock. It was ten past nine. "So, like, fifty minutes from now."  
>"You want some breakfast?" I nodded and Zexion slid off the bed, then held out a hand for me to take. "C'mon, I'll find us some cereal or something."<br>I followed him blindly, stumbling over my own feet now and again because I was still half-asleep, only having had about three hours of actual sleep last night. "Thanks, Zexion." He guided me to the table and made me sit down, then shuffled into the kitchen to find cereal. "I love you." It came out before I realised what I was saying, but you know, whatever. I could have sworn he almost smiled when I said that, anyway.

"Love you too, babe." Zexion found some cereal. He poured the cereal. We both ate cereal. "It's like... twenty to ten. You want to do something before your sister gets here?"

I shook my head. "I'm not in the mood to do anything. I'm still really sleepy." Zexion slid into my lap. "Zexion, seriously..."

"Don't worry, Demyx, I'll wake you up," he said softly, tilting my chin up with one hand and kissing me.

"Mmf – Zexion – do you _have_ to? When are you gonna learn that no means no?" I tried to scowl, but then Zexion did something really weird with his tongue on my neck and my entire body sort of melted.

"Yeah, you're clearly suffering now. Not enjoying yourself at all, are you?" Zexion chuckled. "And I'm sure you _hate_ it when I do _this_..." I kind of squeaked as he did more weird stuff to my neck, grabbing onto his shoulders for... support? I don't know. I just know that I was suddenly full of feelings I had never felt before. "What was that about _no_, Demyx?"

"Shut up," I muttered, as Zexion leaned in to kiss my lips again. "You're so weird, Zexion."

"Says you," he breathed. I smiled as our lips touched again, wondering if maybe I was meant to be with Zexion, and – "Was that the doorbell?"

I looked up at Zexion, feeling hazy and warm. "Think so." He slid off my lap and ran a hand through his fringe, because of course he has to look pretty at all times. "You want me to get it?"

He shook his head. "Nah, it's okay, I will." He gave me one final kiss before darting to the front hall and opening the door. I trailed after him, having nothing better to do, but he was standing so that I couldn't see who was there. "Oh. It's you."

"Yes, it's me, is that a problem?" Oh, it was Megan. Good. Megan is good. "You haven't let Demyx get lost or anything, right?"

"I'm right here, Megan. Seriously, how stupid do you think I am?" I stood next to Zexion at the door, smiling slightly when he slid an arm around my waist.

Megan grinned. "I don't think I should answer that question. Just say goodbye to your boyfriend and let's go, okay? Roxas is all alone and I don't know when Dad's getting back, so..."

I turned to Zexion. "I'll see you in school tomorrow, yeah?" He nodded, wrapping his arms around my neck and standing up on tiptoe to kiss me. "Mm... Zexion... Zex, I've gotta go..."

"Okay, bye." Three or four kisses later he released me and Megan pulled me by the elbow out of the door. "See you, babe."

"See ya." Megan rolled her eyes at both of us, tugging me away from Zexion's doorstep. "So, Megan, how was Naminé's?"

She shrugged. "Okay. Luxord seems... okay. Boring as fuck. And it was weird because she mentioned the whole thing about people thinking we're a couple, and did I ever wonder what that would be like."

"And what did you say?"

Megan shrugged, stopping and making me stop too because we had arrived at the bus stop. "Just that I know what she means, and that I only ever considered it was because of all the stuff that people were saying."

I nodded. "You too would be a cute couple, though."

"Yeah," she snorted, "if you forget the fact that we both like _guys_. Not to mention the fact that she has a boyfriend and I've got Seifer constantly messing me up."

I shrugged. "Maybe you're bi. You did kiss her that one time, didn't you?"

"Uh-huh. We were discussing first kisses, and she was going on and on about how terrified she was that it would be horrible, or she'd do it wrong, and it was pissing me off so I just grabbed her chin and kissed her." Megan suddenly grinned, her wicked grin that made you want to grow a moustache, buy a sombrero and pretend you don't speak English. "You should've seen her face afterwards. Apparently I'm a better kisser than Luxord."

"And you two are _sure_ that you aren't attracted to each other?" I said, only semi-teasing, and Megan raised a fist. I didn't even blink, knowing that she wouldn't hit me. "Just don't rule it out as an option, that's all I'm saying."  
>"Well, look at you. You didn't rule out <em>any<em> options, and now you have, to all intents and purposes, two boyfriends. I'd rather just get on with my life and if anything happens between me and Nami, or me and Seifer, or me and anyone, really, I'll just take it as it comes."

Our bus arrived, and as Megan paid for the tickets and then found us two seats together, I couldn't help but think that my fearless little sister was actually afraid of something.

Her own feelings.

I couldn't blame her, to be honest. Feelings were absolutely terrifying.

xxx

Exam week, what can I say? I'm exhausted and so I've posted this even though normally I make sure I have at least three more chapters ahead of what I'm uploading. At the moment I only have two. Which sucks. But don't y'all worry, as soon as the exams are over I'll be back to MCR-fuelled all-nighters which won't benefit my health but which will provide you guys with plenty of fanfiction. Love you guys, you make my life so much better. Thank you all x


	26. Chapter 26

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Axel**

I lay stretched out on Roxas's sofa, flicking through the stupidest channels in the hope of finding something decent to watch before Roxie came back in with something to eat. Megan was out picking Demyx up from his boyfriend's house and their dad was being a dick someplace else, so everything was okay, at least for now.

"You're not going to find anything interesting, you know," Roxas said as he came back in, throwing me a bag of marshmallows and opening a low-fat yoghurt for himself. "Megan blocked all the decent channels because they were scaring Dem."

I shrugged, turning the TV off, tossing the remote onto the sofa beside me and sitting up. "I can think of things I'd rather be doing right now, anyway."

"Axel, I told you, we can't, if my dad comes in and finds us then we're both dead." Roxas sat down next to me, a good foot away, just in case. "Anyway, I thought you were still sore from yesterday?"

I felt myself go pink just from the memory of all the times we had had sex yesterday, every single one of them with Roxas topping because for such a small guy, he had a whole lot of strength, and because he kept threatening to get dressed and leave every time I asked to top. I think he was trying to prove a point more than anything. He was going to get my revenge in full the second I had him alone again – apart from now, because of course, his dad was a homophobic dick.

"I'm a little sore, but that's nothing that a little more sex couldn't fix," I said, moving slightly closer to Roxas. "How 'bout it?"

"Axel, that's the stupidest logic I ever heard. Sex is what caused the problem in the first place, so more sex isn't going to help. It will make it worse. See how that works?"

I pouted. "Please, Roxie. I want you. I _need_ you. Please?"

He just ate his yoghurt. Little fucker. He was going to get pounded into the floor next time he was at my house. Or in the boys' locker room. Or anywhere there was a floor, really.

There was the sound of the key turning in the lock and the oddly noisy front door being pushed open, and I started cramming marshmallows into my mouth in an effort to look like I hadn't just been trying to get into Roxas's pants.

"Hey, Rox." Oh, okay, it was only Megan. She seemed to be _trying_ to get Roxas laid. Even gave him condoms, little angel that she is. I have to say, in all honesty, that she was really starting to grow on me. She would clearly give her right arm for Roxas, and she was providing us with free condoms, so really I couldn't complain. "You two both okay?"

I nodded and Roxas glared at her in a way that suggested he would be perfectly happy if she just left the country. She grinned at us both, eyes sparkling, and left the room. I listened carefully to her voice in the hall, "Dem, you wanna run upstairs and get changed or something? I'll do some laundry for you if you want."

"So, Roxas..." I slid an arm around his shoulders, receiving an adorable glare in return. "Your brother's upstairs, your sister's doing laundry, and your dad is nowhere to be seen."

"_No_, Axel. You dare and I'll get your ass in court for date-rape." He scowled. He was so damn _cute_ when he scowled like that. "I mean it. I do not want to have sex with you right now."

"_Right now_ you don't. And it's only date-rape if you don't enjoy it." I reached over to the sensitive spot on his left hip, the one that made him squirm if you stroked it in circles, and began working on making my lickle Roxie hard. "You like that, Roxie?"

"Call me Roxie again and I'll fucking bite your dick off next time I'm sucking you off," Roxas snapped, making me even warmer than I already was. I loved it when he threatened me, especially when he _meant_ it. "Ah! Shit, Axel!"

"What?" I asked, pulling back because something was clearly wrong. "What's wrong?"

"Look!" He waved his wrist in front of my face angrily, too fast for me to actually see anything. "You fucking burnt me, you moron!"

"Shit!" I caught hold of his hand, my own body now cooling off so quickly that I felt sick, and looked at the angry red marks on his perfect white skin. Fuck. "I'm so sorry, Roxie, I didn't mean to..."

"Didn't mean to what?" Demyx asked, waltzing through the door looking all ditzy and carrying a bottle of Tango. "What happened?"

"Axel fucking burnt me." Roxas pulled his arm out of my grip and shuffled to the other end of the sofa. Demyx raised his eyebrows and sat down between the two of us, probably to prevent anything worse happening. He was smarter than everyone gave him credit for, really. "Dem-_yx_, go and get Megan to yell at him or something."

Roxas was _pouting_ at his older brother. Fuck, I wished I had a camera.

"Don't worry. Gimme your wrist." Roxas held out his wrist obediently, wincing when Demyx brushed his fingers along the burn marks, which were shaped like my fingers. "Huh. This only happened a minute ago, right?"

"Yeah," I said, mostly to remind the two of them that I was still there, and still wanted to get laid.

"Okay. Let's see if I can do this without getting water everywhere." Effortlessly, Demyx conjured up streams of water, which wound their way around Roxas's wrist, clearly intended to cool it down. The skin slowly turned from red to pale pink and then to normal Roxas colour, and Demyx smiled, clearly pleased with himself.

"Demyx, I didn't know you could do that," I said, leaning across him to look at my boyfriend's wrist, but said boyfriend was still clearly pissed off at me and withdrew his arm before I could get a closer look.

Demyx glowed with pride. "I haven't even told Meg yet, I've just been practising on my own. The only people who know are you, Roxas and Xigbar."

I remembered what Yuffie and Larxene had said about Xigbar and Demyx, as well as the whispered conversations I sometimes caught fragments of between Megan and Naminé, and decided it would be best not to say anything in front of Roxas.

"Hey, Demyx?" Megan stuck her head around the door, clutching a navy blue shirt in one hand. "Can I have a word with you out here?"

"Um... can't we do it in here?" asked Demyx, looking down at his feet, which were clad in the gayest shoes I have ever fucking seen. And I have a boyfriend, so I'm allowed to say that.

Megan bit her lip. It was weird, seeing her in her own house. Like when she was with Naminé, she was less "I'mma-fucking-kill-you" and more "Anyone need anything from the kitchen?" Especially since she was talking to Demyx. She almost came across as a normal human being. Naminé and I still had to figure out how in the name of fuck we were going to get her into a dress for Roxas and my wedding, though. It would probably have to be black or red. Red could work, actually, but only if – "I think we'd be better off talking about this out of Axel and Roxas's earshot, Dem."

"No, I think I should know too, since, you know, I'm also part of this family." Roxas tilted his chin up defiantly, looking roughly twelve. "Axel can leave if you want him to, though."  
>Megan tapped her chin with one finger. Then she gestured to the door. "You heard your boyfriend, <em>Axie<em>, get out."

"With pleasure, _Meggy_," I sneered, slamming the door behind me and promptly leaning against it, trying to hear what was going on.

"Dem? What's this?"

"Blood," Demyx replied shortly. I had never heard him that... lifeless before. It was kind of scary.

"Okay..." Megan was clearly leading the conversation. "Is it your blood?"

"Yeah."

"And... how did it get all over your sleeves?"

I swallowed and pressed my ear closer to the door, worried that I wasn't going to be able to hear Demyx at all, he was so fucking quiet at the moment. "How d'you think?"

"When was it, Demyx?" Roxas asked. I winced, not really wanting him to have to deal with this. It wasn't really fair that he had to babysit his older brother all the time. Really, I think that the three of them would do well to find a new home, but they were terrified of being split up. To be honest I didn't really care as long as my Roxie was happy.

Except that it had just come to light that his older brother was hurting himself, so he probably wasn't all that happy.

"I don't know. Last Thursday, maybe? I lost track."

"The fact that you lost track kinda worries me, Dem. How bad is it?" Silence, in which Megan seemed to be tapping something. "Can we have a look?"

"_No_!" The fear in Demyx's voice made even me cringe, so fuck knows how Megan felt, having been the one to ask the question. "Nobody can see... Meg, you don't understand, it's so ugly, you shouldn't see it..."

"It'll be even uglier if we let it get infected." There was a long, painful pause. "Okay?"

"Yeah..." I assume Demyx was pulling up his sleeves. "There you are."

There was suddenly the sound of hurried footsteps on thin carpet, and the door flew open. I stepped back from it, trying not to look too guilty, and felt something heavy and soft latch onto me.

"Axel..." Roxas whispered, as I moved to shut the door behind him. "Axel, it's so awful, he's so cut up, covered in blood and cuts and scars and it's so awful, why Demyx? Why not me? Oh my God, Axel..."

"It's okay, Roxas." I kissed the top of his head. "He'll be okay. Megan knows what she's doing." Regardless of whether or not I actually _liked_ Megan, I had to admit that she knew what she was doing almost all of the time. "Calm down, sweetheart."

"Axel, my _brother_... he's so... it's so awful, Axel, it really is..."

"Hey, hey, hey. Take a deep breath, for a start." I could feel him shaking, shaking so hard I was scared that he would break, and I rubbed his back, desperate to make him calmer, happier, anything, really... "Now, how about you and I go out for a while? We can leave Megan to deal with Demyx, and we'll just go out and if you wanna talk about anything..."

Roxas shook his head. "Axel... I think you should go home. I need to be here for Dem, Megan needs to stop trying to do everything on her own, and you should probably go and just chill on your own for a while. It isn't fair that I'm making you deal with my family's shit, and I'm sorry."

"You sure? I don't wanna leave you on your own with all of this going on..."

"I'm sure..." Roxas scratched the back of his head, eyes on the floor. "I'll be okay. I'm worried about Megan, though. She's losing weight and having nightmares more and more often..."

I nodded. "Okay, gorgeous. Call me if you need me. If you're _really _worried about Meggy, maybe we should introduce her to my grandmother. I think it would be good for her to see what she's gonna be like when she's old."

Roxas chuckled and I gave myself a few brownie points. "Thanks, Axel. I'll see you soon." He paused for a moment, like he was wondering whether or not he should say what he was about to say. "I love you, a whole lot."

My heart skipped a beat and I smiled, a huge, dorky, butterflies-trying-to-escape-my-stomach smile that was probably not all that sexy. "I love you too, my beautiful little Roxie. You'd better get back to your siblings." I leaned down and kissed him quickly on the cheek, then opened his front door. "I'm always available if you need me, all right?"

He nodded with that "No way am I actually going to _accept_ your help, but thanks anyway" face on and retreated back into the living room, leaving me to force myself out of his house, down his front path, and into cold, ignorant Twilight Town, the town that had the downright nerve to look happy and quiet while Megan and Roxas had their hearts ripped out treating their older brother's wounds.

**Demyx**

"So... yeah." I scrubbed at my eyes with my sleeve again and Megan gave me a look, having already told me to stop doing that at least three times in the past hour. "That's why I've been... doing that." I gestured to the knife that Megan had asked for, the one that I usually hurt myself with. She had already said that taking away the knife wouldn't solve the problem by any stretch of the imagination, because it wasn't the knife that was making my life suck, but Roxas had insisted that I have it confiscated, and I'd agreed.

"I think we need to get rid of Dad." Megan was still Megan-ing, making plans and asking all the difficult questions and not crying even when Roxas and I were both in tears, clinging to each other like the only survivors of a horrible trainwreck. That's all our family was, really, just a horrible trainwreck that we were desperately trying to survive.

...Actually, phrased like that, I can see why Zexion had asked me to move in with him.

"How the fuck are we meant to get rid of Dad?" Roxas demanded. He was red around the eyes, sniffling uncontrollably, and shaking. "We'd just end up being put into foster care, or being adopted by separate families –"

"Roxas, look at your older brother. Look how much pain he's in. Look at yourself, how defensive you've got, how you wouldn't even let Axel in at first."

"Look at _you_, Megan," I said quietly. "You're getting closer and closer to just breaking down, aren't you?"

She laughed, but it sounded really off. "No, no, I'm _fine. _You guys are far more important than little old me, anyway."

"No, Megan, we aren't. All three of us are equal. That's what being a family is about, right?" I looked to Roxas for help. "Megan's health matters just as much as mine or yours, right, Rox?"

He nodded. "Demyx is right, Megan. You need to look in the mirror. You're skinnier. You're paler. The concealer can't hide the dark circles under your eyes any more and –"

"Stop it." Megan stood up, but she wasn't intimidating or even _angry_, just putting on a show, trying to fend Roxas off because he was telling the truth. She really didn't seem to want the truth. "You sound just like Naminé, Roxas, you really do. Have you two been talking behind my back or something?"  
>"Everyone can see it, Megan. Zexion said yesterday that you look like you're starting to crack up. Xigbar asked me if you have the flu or something. Seifer said –"<p>

"I don't _care_ about Seifer!" she yelled at me, in a way that made me think that actually, she cared rather a lot about Seifer. "I don't wanna know what he says about me when I'm not around! I don't care, I don't like him, I don't even want to be in the same room as him –"

"Megan." Roxas's voice was so quiet that Megan actually stopped completely, her arms falling to her sides, her head dropping slightly. "You're yelling at Demyx. You really think that everything is just fine, just normal, when you're yelling at the one person you've always fought to protect?"

"One of two people, Roxas. You're the other one. And then there's Naminé."

I shifted in my seat. "Look, guys, I'm sorry. If I wasn't so stupid, you wouldn't be –"

"No. No, Demyx, you are _not_ stupid. Don't even say that, all right?" Megan started running her hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face and giving it that "I'm trying not to freak out" look that most people can't pull off all that well. "You're amazing, both of you. I don't know what the fuck I'd do without you two, all right? There, I admitted a weakness. Can we drop the subject of my sanity now?"

Roxas sighed. "I worry about you, Megan."

She leaned forwards and ruffled his hair. "You shouldn't. I'm the older one, I'm meant to worry about _you._"

"And I'm the oldest, so I should worry about both of you." My eyes fell onto the bottle of antiseptic liquid and the bandages lying on the coffee table, and I tried not to wince. "I guess I'm not doing a very good job so far, huh?"

"You're doing a fantastic job, Demyx. It's just that Dad's screwing you up, that's all." Roxas patted me on the elbow. "We'll figure something out, don't worry."

"The second I'm old enough," I vowed, not for the first time, "I'll rent a house by the ocean and we can all live there, and I can be as gay as I like and Megan can slide down the banister if she feels like it and everything will be absolutely fine."

Megan and Roxas exchanged looks. "Dem, you know... you can't expect all our problems to disappear just because Dad is gone, right?" Megan said, chewing on her lip.

"Problems like what?"

Megan jerked a thumb at the door. "Roxas, out for a minute. I need to talk to Demyx on his own." Rox pouted but left the room, and we could hear him thudding up the stairs, so he _probably_ couldn't eavesdrop on us. "Demyx, even when Dad is gone, you're still going to have the same problems. You're still going to struggle in crowds. You'll still have to choose between Zexion and Xigbar. You're still going to have to cope with the ups and downs of a relationship, not to mention the process of getting over all the horrible stuff that's happened to us. It doesn't just happen overnight, you know. I _still_ have nightmares about my life before, and I don't even remember my life before."

I nodded. "I know, Meg, I know. Turn around a sec." She turned 180 degrees so her back was to me. From behind, I could see her legs better, and yes, Roxas was right, she was starting to lose weight. "Okay, you can turn back now."

"What was that about?" she laughed, reaching her hand up to chew on her already tormented nails but then seeming to think better of it.

"Just needed to see something," I said casually. Well, as casually as I could under the circumstances. Which wasn't really very casual, but Megan seemed to buy it. "You want me to go and get Roxas?"

She nodded, falling onto the sofa as I stood up and snatching up the remote. "I'mma see if there's anything good on."

As I trudged up the stairs, I started to wonder whether Megan would ever get over the stuff that happened to her before. Whatever that stuff actually was.

"She is losing weight," I greeted Roxas by saying, not bothering to knock because I knew he'd just be lying on his bed, browsing the internet. "And she does look ill."

Roxas frowned. "I have no idea what to do. If we try and get her to go to the doctor, she'll flip out at us, won't she?"

I shrugged. "There's no way to really tell with Megan, but I can't imagine a doctor's appointment going well. The thing is that she's so _proud_..."

"Yeah, she is." Roxas shut his laptop and plugged the charger into the hole at the side. "I think she's worried as well that if a doctor finds out that there's something wrong with her, he'll start investigating the entire family, you know, looking into her background to find out what's making her so ill..."

"And then we'll all get split up," I nodded, understanding what he meant. "Yeah, I see what you mean. I just don't want to wait for her to collapse before we try and do anything about it all."

Roxas nodded. "Well, Axel's worried out of his mind about me, and I bet Zexion's worried about you, and I know that Naminé and maybe Seifer are worried about Megan. If we aren't careful, they'll all exchange notes and realise that something a little bit odd is going on in the family, and then it only takes one of them to inform a "responsible adult"..."

"And then we'll all get split up," I repeated. "The source of all our problems seems to be out desire to stay together, really, doesn't it?"

Roxas grimaced, but nodded. "Sure looks that way, doesn't it, Dem?"

"The thing is, I don't know what I would do without you and Meg, I really don't. You two are the only people who understand everything about me, everything from how to handle me on my bad days to how I like my toast to how I want my socks folded, and I don't think I could go through the ordeal of re-explaining that to someone new, know what I mean?"

"The thing is, Dem... I'm not entirely sure how these things work, but... you're going to be eighteen soon."

"And?" I asked, deciding I might as well stay in Roxas's room and shutting the door behind me.

"And they might not find you new parents, Demyx. They might just find you someplace to live..."

"And leave me on my own." I felt ill at the very thought. An entire kitchen, all to myself, all full of horrible cooking appliances that could slice or burn very, very easily. Walls I could so easily punch, kick, cover in blood if I so pleased, and nobody to get in my way...

"We wouldn't let that happen, though, okay?" Roxas had probably seen the look on my face, somewhere between terror and a sick longing for the freedom to destroy myself. "We'd tell them you were completely incompetent if that's what it takes. We'd lie our asses off to keep you safe, okay? And if the worst comes to the worst, we could all run away together, join the circus or something."

"Megan could do tricks with fire," I suggested, "and I could do stuff with water...

"And I don't have an element," Roxas added glumly, forcing a smile. It suddenly occurred to me that our little brother might actually be jealous of us for a change, which was weird considering that he was the most normal one, the one with the best grades and the most friends and the most ordinary outfits.

"Aww, don't worry, Rox." I reached out and rubbed his back. "Maybe you need to wait til you're a little older. Maybe they only kick in when –"

"Axel can talk to fire, and he's not that much older than me," Roxas argued. I had never realised that he actually cared about the whole element thing. "I don't care all that much, anyway. I could be one of those midgets in a two-person animal suit, like the back end of a horse or something. I don't know."

"Nah, you could be the world's shortest, angriest man," I joked, and Roxas made as if to punch me, but I was so used to him and Megan playfighting with each other that I just raised an eyebrow and waited for a blow that I knew would never come. "Anyway, I bet you have an element. Apart from anything else, Megan never researched anything except fire. Who knows how many elements people are able to manipulate?"

"I think I would be ice, since I'm just that cool."

"But Axel's fire just makes you melt," I pointed out, nudging him. He laughed. Okay, maybe I wasn't quite as bad at the whole big brother thing as I thought I was.

"Okay, so we'll run away and join the circus. That sounds like a solid plan. What happens if they catch us and try to lock us up?"

"We can pretend to be different people. You can be... Jesse McCartney, and then I'll be Eiwob Divad, and Megan... Megan can tell them she's called Midna Davies." Roxas chuckled. "God, she's a nasty piece of work. Midna, I mean."

"Yeah, she is."

I wondered just how badly Roxas would freak out if I told him about me and Xigbar. My guess was _a lot. _"I was on a date this one time..." Don't mention who with. If he asks, just tell him it was Zexion. "And she starts flirting with me, not realising I'm the older brother of the girl who broke her wrist in two places, and my date's just there like... "I have no idea what to do," and it was really weird because she seemed to be making a point of showing off her boobs..."

"But you think boobs are icky," Roxas nodded, understanding my dislike of boobs because really, what are they even _for_? "Couldn't she tell that you're, you know, _gay?_"

"I know! I was wearing these shoes, as well," I pointed to the black trainers with the neon pink laces, "and eyeliner and everything..."

"Some people are just stupid."

"Agreed," I nodded, and Rox and I both grinned, and for a moment I stopped wondering about Xigbar and Zexion and Megan's mental health and everything, and it was one of those glimpses into a normal person's life, hanging out with my little brother and just enjoying myself.

I wish those moments came around a little more often, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

xxx

Eek, I've nearly reached 100 reviews! I'm so glad to have such lovely, amazing readers. In fact, I have just made the probably very rash decision that the 100th reviewer can request a oneshot and I'll write it for them. Any pairing, any theme, as long as it's Kingdom Hearts and not terribly icky. Like, I'm not doing any vampire fics anytime soon, okay, guys?

On another note, if you have a second, could you go and find My Unicorn Romance on here? She's relatively new to the world of fanfiction and she's really talented, so she deserves much love and internet cookies.

*Insert usual review whoring and questions about the plot here*


	27. Chapter 27

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

"Marluxia, _pick up the fucking phone_," I muttered, drumming on my knee with my fingers. Naminé wasn't picking up, and I had just got Marly's voicemail for the second time. For all that "Talk to someone if you need to" bullshit, there never really seemed to be anyone I could talk to. I sighed when I heard the fucking voicemail _again_ and put my phone down, assuming that Marly was fucking Vexen or pruning his rose garden or something.

Fuck. Why is everything so shitty? Time for some generic EMO music. Secondhand Serenade, that'll depress me even more. Oh, the joys of being a teenage girl. I fell back onto my bed, deciding to get comfortable, but then thinking better of it, knowing that if I fell asleep I would have another nightmare.

"Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable..." I whispered, just out of time with the whiny music coming from my speakers.

My phone was vibrating. I stood up, checked the screen, winced, and took the call anyway. Bad idea, but you know.

"Hey, Seifer," I said tiredly, leaning against my wardrobe and glancing in the mirror. Ouch. I could see what Roxas meant about the dark circles.

"Hello, babe." And he's drunk. Again. Ain't that just wonderful? "You okay?"

"I'm fine, how are you?" I asked, trying to gauge just how smashed he was, and whether he was binge-drinking at home or whether he had actually been with his friends for a change.

He laughed. "I'm _great_. But, um. I had something." There was a pause. There was no noise in the background, so I think it was safe to assume that he'd been drinking alone again. "I had a question, that's what I had. Yeah."

"Okay, what was your question?" His voice was starting to slur and he couldn't quite form full sentences.

"You. You're, um, thing. Um, you know, with the... pale, that's it, you're pale. And, um... ill. And my question was... erm..."

"Was what?"

"I wanna have sex with you," he said abruptly. "Haha, not my question, but I want to... yeah. Um... are you... um... you okay? Really okay? Really properly... okay?"

"Yeah, I am." I kicked an old, too-small shoe that lay sad and alone on my bedroom floor. "Why?"

"You sound miserable. And... your fucker of a... brother... he hurt you, Meggy, why'd he do that?" Seifer was whining. If I were a cruel person I would be recording this for the internet. "He hurt you."

"Yeah, he did," I said softly. Really, it didn't matter what I said. He was too drunk to remember any of this in the morning, anyway. "It wasn't his fault, though."

"I want to jump off a bridge." Seifer sounded so sober and so _serious _for a moment that I actually grabbed my bag to go and stop him. "But... I'd die. And then I wouldn't be able to fuck you."

Thank you, drunken logic, for preventing him from killing himself.

"Yeah, don't jump off anything tall, okay? I've already had to stop one person from doing that..." I decided that maybe the best way to get this all off my chest was to tell someone who wouldn't remember anyway. "Demyx was so upset this one time, and he tried to jump, and I had to stop him, and after we got him home and safe, I was just so shocked and upset, so I... so I..."

"Meggy, there's a butterfly on this pillow. It's purple and everything. Do you like purple butterflies?"

"Yes, Seifer, I adore purple butterflies," I said, smiling in spite of myself. "You should have a big drink of water and then go to bed, yeah?"

"No, I wanna talk to you." You could _hear_ him pouting. "Will you come to my house?"

"I'm sorry, Seifer, I have to stay home and look after my brothers," I told him, beginning to chew on my left hand again. It was going to start bleeding again, and then Naminé would tell me off. Oh well. That's what she got for not answering her damn phone. "I'll come to your house some other time, yeah?"

"Why do you love your brothers more than you love me?" Seifer asked, sounding more and more drunk by the second. "It's not _fair._"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'll see you in school tomorrow, okay? You need to have a really big drink of water, so your head doesn't hurt too much tomorrow, throw up if you have to, and then get your ass to bed. All right?"

"Yeah, okay. I love you, Meggy."

"That's great, Seifer. Don't call me Meggy." There was really no point in telling him not to. He was drunk off his pedestal, he wouldn't care either way.

"Say you love me back."

I sighed heavily. He wasn't going to go to bed unless I humoured him; I knew that much from experience. "I love you too, you crazy blonde fuck. Now, get to bed, all right?"

"Yeah."

I hung up on him, sat down on the edge of my bed, and rested my head in my hands.

"You should cry," Marluxia had once said. "You're constantly caring for a seventeen-year-old who thinks more like a little kid, a fifteen-year-old who follows your example like ducklings follow their mama, and an anorexic girl. You were clearly abused as a kid and you have nightmares about it on a regular basis, your adoptive dad abuses you too, and basically, your life is shit. So why don't you cry?"

I had told him to fuck off, of course, but I'm not really sure that he was as wrong as I wanted him to be.

"Meg? Megan, you in there?" I leapt up, swallowed hard, checked that my eyes hadn't been getting red or anything in my mirror, and opened my door. "Um... I need to tell you something."

"What's up, Dem?" I asked, letting him through my door and shutting it behind him.

"I have a cat."

"You... wait, what?" Maybe it was the sleep deprivation and general depression, but I'm pretty sure that that declaration of his didn't make all that much sense.

"I have a cat," he repeated, like it was obvious what he meant. Demyx tends to do that a lot. "I found her in the back garden. Her name is Bowie and she's absolutely gorgeous, and I've been keeping her in my bedroom and leaving my window open so she can go out and explore if she likes, and feeding her and everything, and I love her to pieces..."

"Dem, you know what Dad's like with pets –"

"Which is why I was keeping her a secret. But Megan, she's been gone for hours now. She never leaves for this long. What if something's happened to her?" He looked up at me with pleading blue-green eyes, tears brimming in them and red starting to appear around the outsides, and I winced.

"I doubt anything would have happened to her, Demyx. She's probably just out having an adventure. Or hey, maybe she's found a boyfriend and they're gonna make kittens!"

Demyx sniffed loudly. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do." I patted him on the shoulder, but he was just like "Screw that" and threw his arms around me, hugging me desperately. "You should go get some sleep, bro."

"I can't sleep, not with her gone..."

I looked over at the clock. It was only ten. "You wanna take a sleepy pill? You'll be a little drowsy tomorrow morning before school, but it's better than staying up all night, right?"

"Yeah... yeah, okay. I'll go take one. I love you, Megan."

"I love you too, you nutjob. Go get some sleep, okay?"

I then stayed up all night playing Tetris and reading fanfiction and painting my toenails and basically doing everything I could to avoid falling asleep.

Not that I'm a hypocrite, ahaha.

At half past six I decided to wander in the direction of Demyx's bedroom and listen to see if he was awake yet.

"Demyx, come on, you have to get out of bed..."

"Leave me alone, Roxas!"

Oh. That didn't sound good.

"Demyx, you've gotta get up, you don't want us to miss the bus, right? At least tell me what's wrong." Roxas still sounded half-awake. I was trying to get out of the habit of just shouldering into people's lives and improving them, so I hung back and eavesdropped instead. "Do you need me to go get Megan?"

"No, just leave me alone," Demyx snarled, sounding slightly like someone whose face was in a pillow. "I mean it, Roxas."

"Okay, I'm gonna go get Meg." I instantly took two or three quiet steps backwards so I didn't look like I'd been listening to their conversation. "She normally knows what to do when stuff like this happens."

Aww. Nice to know I'm still needed, even if it is only a little.

Roxas emerged from Demyx's room, still in his adorable Spongebob pyjamas, his hair even messier than usual, looking very much like he'd only just got out of bed. "Um, Megan, Demyx is..."

"I know," I admitted, putting a hand on his shoulder to guide him out of my way so I could get to Demyx's room. "Dem?"

"Leave me alone." He was lying face-down on top of his duvet, still in the same clothes he'd been wearing last night.

I crossed the room, having to dodge a lifesized cardboard David Bowie whose origins were slightly questionable, and perched on the end of the bed. "Is this about Bowie? Because I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"It's not about her, okay?" Demyx grabbed his phone, which had been lying on the pillow by his head, and tossed it over his shoulder in my general direction. I blinked. I could count on one hand the number of times Demyx has thrown anything at me or Roxas, deliberate or not. "Read the text from Zexion."

Oh, if that fucker has upset Demyx, there will be hell to pay.

_Hey, Demyx. Listen. I've been offered a place at Traverse Town University. If I go, I'd be incredibly far away from you, but this way I'll be able to get brilliant job offers, make loads of cash, and look after you forever. And the thing is... we're not even a couple, right? So if I went off to Traverse, we could both see other people for a while, and then when I come back to Twilight Town, we can be together, right? Is that okay with you? I really really want to go to Traverse, Demyx. Please understand? I love you so much. See you in school babe xxxx_

Well, that was certainly... interesting...

"Am I being selfish, Megan? Because I want him to stay here?"

I shook my head, both at Zexion's unsurpassed dickishness and at the idea of _Demyx,_ of all people, being selfish. "No, Dem, you aren't. I think that Zexion's being a bit selfish, but you really aren't. I promise."

"I don't want to see him." Demyx pushed himself up slightly but then fell full-force back onto the pillows. "I really don't want to go to school, Meg. Please don't make me."

"Demyx..." I sighed, trying very hard not to flip out and go murder Zexion. "You need to go to school, Dem. Come on. Don't you wanna see Xigbar and Marluxia and... and Naminé and... Yuffie? And, um... all your other friends?" I don't think Demyx actually has that many friends. Mostly he hangs out with Roxas and I, and our friends. Since "my friends" consisted of Naminé, Marluxia and occasionally Xigbar and Larxene when convenient, he usually made all his friends through Roxas.

"I am not going to school, Megan."

"You _have_ to. What happens if someone starts getting suspicious? Please, Demyx." I sighed. I was running out of cards to play now. I had one trick up my sleeve, but it was more than a little risky and sort of cheap, so...

Demyx growled into his pillow. "Leave me alone, Megan. I will not go to school and that's that." He was starting to get really worked up now. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Demyx, if you aren't out of your bed and getting ready for school in the next ten seconds, I'm going to call Xigbar and tell him you don't wanna see him today."

"See if I care! Just leave me _alone_, Megan, I don't care what you do as long as you leave me alone."

I stood up and took my phone out. "I'm calling your boyfriend, Demyx," I said warningly, having no intention of calling him just yet. That would come last, and only if the threat itself wasn't enough to get him out of bed.

"He's not my boyfriend, and I don't _care_ what you say to him, just _go away_."

Okay, I wasn't really getting anywhere, and we were going to be late for school (not that I gave a shit about being on time, but Roxas would probably panic) and to be honest I was fucked-up tired. So I called Xigbar.

"Hey Megan." He sounded half-awake as well. What was it with everyone waking up late? It was half six in the morning. People really needed to get their shit together. "Everything okay?"

"Not really. Demyx won't get out of bed. At all." Demyx, true to form, stayed with his face buried in his pillow. "Can you talk to him or something?"

"Yeah, sure. Pass him the phone." I thrusted my phone towards my older brother, who took it rather grudgingly and held it to his ear.

"I just don't want to." Pause. "Well, sort of." Another pause. "He didn't mean to upset me or anything, but... yeah." Xigbar was raising his voice, sounding more upset than angry. "It's not Zexion's fault, I just... look, I really kinda need a day off anyway..." Yeah, but you're not having one unless someone's around to look after you. "...do I _have _to?"

I don't know quite what Xigbar said or did, but Demyx sat up.

"Okay. Okay, I love you too. Okay, see you soon." He handed me back my phone and I saw that Xigbar had already hung up. "Xigbar says hi."

I just nodded, deciding not to ask for any further details, and stood up. "Let's see what Rox has made for breakfast, yeah?"

**Roxas**

After the slight drama with Demyx, which Megan somehow magically solved because, let's face it, she's Megan and she fixes everything if given enough time, I found my favourite seat on the bus. I don't know why, but Megan insisted on sitting next to Demyx and having Naminé on Dem's other side, and for some reason Zexion was treated to one of Megan's best death stares when he got on the bus, which prompted him to sit at the front, as far away from Meg as he could be.

Ah, fuck, Axel was texting me again. Sometimes I almost regretted giving him my number. _Hey, Roxie, you on your way to school? See you soon, yeah? Love you xxx_

"Axel's a pretty clingy guy, huh?" I looked up to see Yuffie standing on a bus seat. As in, standing up and somehow managing to keep her balance in spite of the fact that we were going at 50 down a road that had clearly seen better days. "You two are really cute together."

"Um, thanks." I kicked my feet together nervously. I'm not good at talking to girls, or to people I don't know, or to nutcases. Since Yuffie was all three of these things at once, it was almost impossible to hold up a conversation with her. "Uh..."

She smiled brightly at me, not seeming to care that I was tongue-tied as fuck. "Could you get your sister for me? I wanna talk to her about something."

I twisted in my seat to face Megan, who was half-asleep next to a now very animated Demyx. The thing about Demyx is that he's not a big talker (it's kind of difficult to be a big talker around Megan) but when you get him started on something that he's actually interested in, he'll talk for hours on end. "Meg?" She looked over at me, sort of in between drowsy and alert. "Yuffie wants you." I gestured in the general direction of Yuffie, then went back to my cellphone to text Axel.

_Yeah, probably gonna be about another ten minutes. See you then. Love you too xxx_

After a long, boring bus journey that involved Yuffie and Megan conversing over my head and Demyx getting agitated to the point where I think he bit his own arm, we arrived at school. Axel was hanging around the bus stop like a lost child and the second I stepped onto the road he glomped me. Honestly, he was so damn needy.

Megan stumbled past us. "Oh, hey, you... you guys." She really did look ill. I think Axel sensed my worry because he pulled a half-smile at her.

"You okay, Meggy?" Much to his surprise, and mine, Megan barely reacted. She sort of shrugged and wandered off, leaving Axel and I to look at each other and wonder what the fuck was wrong with her.

"Things have been kind of tough for Megan recently," I said in a low voice, taking hold of Axel's sleeve and starting to tug him away from the bus stop and towards the school gates. "More nightmares, losing weight..." I sighed. "I'm really worried about her, Axel."

He put an arm around me. "She'll be okay, Roxas. She's a big girl, and she knows when she needs help."

"But that's the thing, she doesn't. She thinks she's so tough, but really she's..." I couldn't think of a word for it.

"She's lonely." I turned to see Seifer smirking at Axel and I, or more specifically, my and Axel's intertwined hands. "There's you with Axel, Demyx with Zexion, Marluxia with Vexen, Naminé with that guy from Hollow Bastion... and then just her."

"How long have you been listening to our conversation?" Axel asked sharply. Of course Seifer was not one of those people you would trust to listen to your conversations. In fact, the only person I would trust to listen to my conversations is Megan, and that's only because she's been doing it for so long that I'm not entirely sure what life would be like if she just minded her own business. Probably not nearly as interesting. Or difficult. Or enjoyable.

"Long enough to know that you two are clearly happy to stand around talking about how ill and miserable Meggy's getting, but too lazy or cowardly or whatever the fuck you are to actually get your asses out and do something about it." He shrugged. "None of my business any more, she made that quite clear about twenty minutes ago while you and your brother were eating breakfast, but still..."

I grimaced. Every now and then I felt a twinge of sympathy for Seifer. After all, Megan wasn't an easy person to care about at the best of times, because she refuses to let anyone in, and if Seifer actually liked her as much as he said he did... "Yeah, well. I want her to try and get help on her own first." I squeezed Axel's hand, feeling him tense up slightly. "Apart from anything else, she's not going to be happy if we suggest the doctor's, or counselling..."

"Roxas." Seifer didn't look quite like his cocky self right now. "She's tough as hell in a lot of ways, fine. But she's not invincible. She has the same physical limitations as any other teenage girl, and that means that whatever she likes to think, she can't afford to lose the amount of weight she's lost, on top of all the stress of dealing with you and Demyx, and hardly ever sleeping –"

"What do you mean, hardly ever sleeping? She does sleep, it's just that sometimes she has nightmares and shit." The first bell went. "We'd better get to class." Axel sighed and waved half-assedly at Seifer, who just shook his head at us like we were fully responsible for Megan being ill.

"Roxas..." I looked up at Axel, who was looking kind of unsettled. I got that feeling too. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am." I sighed. "She's meant to be the tough one, and if _she_ can't keep it together..."

Axel nodded. "It's not fair that you three have to deal with all the shit you've gotta deal with, though. Demyx being weird and Megan having nightmares and your alcoholic dad and all of it. You should take some time off."

I laughed hollowly. "And do what? Sit around and worry about Megan and Demyx? No thanks."

"We could skip school today," Axel suggested. "Go up to the clock tower and eat ice cream and hang out and then after school's finished we can go back to my place and have sex." I blushed at how bluntly he put it. "We can do whatever you like, Roxie. Name it and we'll do it. And I'll pay, as well."

I smirked. Literally anything? "I can think of a few things I'd like to do..." I said slowly, letting go of Axel's hand so that I could put my hand in his back pocket instead. He bit his lip and gave me that look that he probably thinks is a lot sexier than it actually is, and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Of course, you understand that it's my turn to top today."

I snorted. "That's what you always say, and guess who ends up overpowering you?"

All of a sudden I had been pushed back against the school gates. "What was that about being overpowered?" he asked, holding my shoulders firmly in place.

"I stand by what I said. You always think you can top, but when it comes down to it, you're just a great big uke who melts when I touch here..." I demonstrated, "or lick here," another quick demonstration, "and who really couldn't top even if he tried."

"You are going to pay, Roxie," he growled, putting a knee between my legs and setting about trying to unbutton my shirt.

"How about we wait til we get to your place? Then I can prove you wrong all over your bed, the floor, in the shower..."  
>Axel smirked. "What happened to your <em>standards<em>, Roxie?"

"Oh, okay, then, we won't have sex in the shower. In fact, we'll just keep it on the bed, and I'll keep as much clothing as I can on because I'm modest as well..." I pushed Axel away from me and began walking down the street to the clock tower. "Are you coming with me or what?"

Axel caught up with me easily, being roughly twice my height and all, and grabbed my hand. "Will your sister get pissed if she finds out that you skipped school?"

"Nah, she does it from time to time too. Or she'll skip class and hang out in Xigbar's classroom. He's perfectly happy to let people stay in his classroom during his free periods." I decided not to mention the part where this was my first time ever skipping even so much as one period, and that in fact I was a little bit terrified. Oh, and actually, Megan had told me time and time again that skipping was a bad habit to get into and that she wanted Demyx and I to be far better students than her because unlike her, we weren't likely to manipulate our ways to the top the way that she could, if she needed to. "Would you get in shit if your family finds out?"

Axel laughed. "My mother would be disappointed that I had only skipped school instead of doing something interesting like vandalising something or robbing a bank somewhere, and my dad would just say some philosophical shit about how breaking rules is good for the soul or something. My grandma would just sigh and tell me not to lead you astray because she thinks the sun shines out of your every orifice."

"Does she?" I asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, she keeps saying how adorable you are and how glad she is I brought you home." Axel shrugged. "I think she should've gone to Specsavers, but you know..."

"Oh, that's it, you definitely aren't getting laid in the shower. Or at all, if you aren't careful."

Axel pouted. It looked so fucking out of place on his usually smirking or at least smug-looking face. "Aww, come on, Roxie. I'll even let you top."

"Let me, my ass. Like you could do anything _except_ let me top." Axel pouted even more, and I almost felt guilty. "Now, stop pouting like a dick, and let's get something to eat, I'm starved."

"What, you skip breakfast or something? I doubt you need much food, the size of you..." I growled. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, babe. That was really low of me." He kind of ruined it by sniggering at his own accidental short joke.

"You really want to get laid today? Or _ever_?" I threatened, and immediately the pouting resumed.

Honestly, sometimes my life is so benign and annoying and almost... _normal_.

xxx

Roxas short jokes, because they've NEVER been done before. I still don't have 100 reviews, which makes me a little bit sad, but I am still absolutely amazed by how much love this fic and my other fics are getting. You guys rock and I love you, even when you leave me alone and reviewless.

I promised my waifu that I'd publicly apologise for cheating on her, although we aren't technically married and she has a boyfriend, so consider this a public apology. I am sorry and I wuv you. K? K.


	28. Chapter 28

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

Everyone just kept _touching_ me.

On the bus. In the halls. In lessons. Everywhere I went, people bumped into me, brushed against me, walked too close to me, and now I was almost about to scream. I could hardly breathe, barely knew which lesson I was trying to get to, and wanted nothing more than to escape to my room with a knife and –

"Demyx?" Oh, God, _Zexion_. "Are you okay, babe?"

"No," I whimpered, recoiling when he went to take hold of my hand. "I can't – I just – it's like – ugh! I just can't – I just –" I couldn't get the words out, if there were even any words in my head to start with.

"Demyx, just breathe, yeah? What lesson do you have now?"

I bit my lip. "Uh, um, French. And then English."

"Okay, babe, I'll walk you to French, yeah? Just keep calm." He went to hold my hand again but I whimpered and shied away from him. "Demyx, what's wrong?"

"I... I just –" I took a deep breath. "It's just, my head's just so full of _stuff_, I can't breathe, people keep touching me and being too loud and this school is too small and I don't want you to leave and my cat already left me and Megan's gonna die and Roxas isn't anywhere and what if he's dead and –"

"Demyx." I stopped, realising too late that my voice had steadily got more and more high-pitched and less and less understandable. "Calm down, babe. Your cat will come back, of course Megan isn't gonna die, she's _Megan_ for fuck's sake, Roxas is probably just with Axel, and even if I do leave, I'll still call you and email you and visit in the holidays –"

"What if you forget?" I asked, feeling tears gathering in my eyes. "What if you stop caring about me?"

"I couldn't stop caring about you even if I tried." We stopped just short of my French classroom and Zexion laced his arms around my waist. "You're the single most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. How the hell could I stop caring about you?"

"Well, apart from anything else, I don't do the stuff you wanna do." _Because all the stuff you wanna do is really weird and icky and I don't understand what you're trying to do half the time anyway_. "So what if you find someone prettier than me who wants to do all that stuff, and you just forget all about me because you're too busy with them?"

"First of all, I doubt I could ever find anyone prettier than you, and second, just because you don't wanna do stuff doesn't mean I want to run off and find someone who does, it just means that I have to wait a while for you to be comfortable with it. Demyx, sweetheart, I really do love you."

"I love you too, Zexy." I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, feeling his face stretch into an almost-smile. "I've gotta get to French. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay, Demyx. Keep calm during French, all right? No freaking out. Promise?"

"Promise," I nodded, letting go of Zexion and stepping into my French classroom.

My French lesson was full of "Demyx, _stop_ clicking that pen" and "_Please _could you stop drumming on the table?" and eventually "If you don't stop being disruptive you'll be in detention" and then "Right, that's it, detention, tomorrow night" which put me in an even worse mood than I had been before. I spent the last five minutes of the lesson biting my own thumbs, the urge to make myself bleed getting worse and worse with every passing second.

The second the bell went I leapt out of my seat, snatched up my folder and my back, and shimmied around my desk rather than trying to get past Larxene so I could just get to English.

"Dem? You okay?"

I just shook my head and fell into Xigbar's arms, screwing my face up as tears started falling and sobs started shaking my entire body. "I... I'm sorry..."

"Why are you sorry, Dem? What's happened?" He rubbed my back, swaying slightly on the spot. I could barely breathe, let alone speak, and Xigbar seemed to understand that, because he didn't ask again. "Okay, DemDem, it's okay. You'll be okay."

After about ten minutes of just clinging to him, half-listening to him alternating between giving the rest of the class instructions and whispering in my ear to calm me down, I was able to talk. "I've had the worst day ever."

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, sitting down on an armchair and pulling me onto his lap with him.

"Well, my cat's disappeared, and I'm scared that she's lost or sick or injured or..." I shook my head, not wanting to think too hard about all the horrible things that could have befallen Bowie. "And Zexion's been offered a place at Traverse University and he really wants to go, and I can't find Rox anywhere and I'm scared that something's happened to him, and Megan's looking worse and worse every day and what if she dies, Xigbar? What if she ends up in hospital and there's no one to save me from Dad, no one to help me when I can't sleep, nobody to sing while doing the laundry and make me laugh and watch Spongebob with me and..."

"Okay, Dem, okay. First off, I know exactly where Roxas is. Axel asked me to cover for them, they've both skipped school to hang out and eat ice cream." I sighed. That was _one_ thing taken care of, at least. "Zexion is, well, a prick, but he really does love you, and he wouldn't just fuck off and leave you, okay? And if he does, well, I'll have you all to myself, right?" I giggled even though my face was covered in half-dried tears and I was hiccuping now and again. "But seriously, he wouldn't just up and leave. As for Megan, well, in all honesty I think she's going to just drop one day, just faint out of exhaustion, and then she'll go to hospital and she'll get the help she needs whether she likes it or not. But you shouldn't have to worry about her, right?" He reached up and started dabbing at the tears on my cheeks with his sleeve. "You're too young to be worrying about everything all the damn time. Just relax and be a kid, yeah?"

I sighed. "But the thing is that we don't have any adults in my family. My dad just goes off and works or something, and then every now and then he comes back and he yells at us, especially at me because I'm so gay and sometimes Megan because she always talks back..."

Xigbar wrapped a hand over my mouth to keep me from talking, and I almost smiled. "Enough of that. You don't need to think about your dad right now. You're in school. Just forget about all the horrible shit you've got going on at home, and enjoy my fabulous company."

I pulled his hand away from my face. "I love you, Xiggy. Don't forget that."

"I love you too, DemDem." He held me tight and kissed the side of my head. "You haven't hurt yourself or anything, right?"

"No, I haven't." Apart from biting myself a little, but that barely counts.

"Okay. You know if you have, I won't be mad at you, right? It isn't your fault."

"It upsets you, though," I said quietly, remembering how shocked he'd looked when he'd first seen my arms. "It's so gross..."

"Of course it upsets me. I hate the idea of you hurting even a little bit. When I see you crying, I want to cry too. I just..." He sighed. "I don't think that getting mad at you, or making a point about how bad _I _feel about all of it, I don't think that that would help you at all, would it?"

"No, it wouldn't," I said quietly, taking one of his hands and putting my fingers into the gaps between his. Perfect fit. "But you deserve to be upset too, you know. And it's, like... it's so icky. I hate the fact that the blood gets everywhere and it stings afterwards. And I just..."

"I know, gorgeous, I know." Xiggy sighed and shifted me slightly on his lap so that I was more comfortable. "I'm sorry that everything is so shitty."

"Oh, yeah, because it's clearly your fault." I rolled my eyes. "You know, I, um, I... I tried to kill myself once." _Once, yeah, let's go with that_. "But I didn't, because of Zex, and because of you."

"Just because of us? Not because of your siblings or your cat or anything?"

I grinned. "Well, you know, maybe a _little_..."

There was suddenly a flurry of giggles on the other side of the room and I looked up to see Xion and a couple of her friends hurriedly making an effort to look anywhere except Xigbar and I. Aw, how cute, they thought that they weren't totally obvious. Still, I doubted they were saying anything totally evil, and apart from anything else, I don't really care about the opinions of girls my age, because very few of them are actually deeper than the average puddle.

"I really am worried about Meg, though. Seifer said something earlier –"

"Oh, God, Dem, don't listen to _Seifer_, he's a fucking idiot."

"I know, but still. He just mentioned that, you know, she doesn't get round to eating as often as she should, and she stays up all night sometimes so that she doesn't have bad dreams, and just that, you know, it's not really all that healthy..."

Xigbar sighed. "If you need me to, I can get the school nurse on her case, or even Social Services, but that would mean a whole lot of disruption for you and your brother..."

"Speaking of disruption, I got a detention in French today because I kept drumming on the table and clicking my pen and basically doing everything I could to keep myself from... you know..." I swallowed. "I really am trying, Xiggy."

"I know you are. Who's your French teacher, Belle? I can have a word with her if you like, see if we can't get that detention taken back, yeah?" I nodded. "Are you going to be okay tonight at home?"

"Yeah. Roxas made Megan confiscate my knife, anyway." Although I have a whole plethora of other things I could use if I tried, but I was trying not to think about that at all. "And I'll try and stay out of my room if I can, stay around Meg, you know."

Xigbar nodded. "Good boy. I don't wanna put any pressure on you or anything, but if you can avoid doing it..."

"Yeah, I know. It's really ugly, apart from anything else."

"Ugly? You? Yeah, of course. And I suppose the earth is flat and cookies are made out of turtles." Xigbar rolled his eye and then his face broke into a smile. "You really are gorgeous, you know that?"

"So are you," I returned almost automatically, because it didn't really require any thought, he really is just amazing. "Don't forget that, all right?"

He nodded. "I won't if you don't, all right?"

I smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too. You want a cookie?"

Like he even had to ask.

**Megan**

"Megan." Roxas was mildly irritated with me and my zoning out. "Listen to me, yeah?"

"I am listening. You want to spend the night at Axel's place, right?" It was a wild guess, but really, how wrong could I be?

"Yeah. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is, bro. Be careful, don't scare his parents, you know, the usual." I waved a careless hand, shuffling forwards in the queue to get onto the bus, Demyx clinging to my hand for dear life.

"Promise you'll eat dinner? And breakfast? And get a decent amount of sleep?" Roxas pressed, crossing his arms like _he _was the responsible one or something. Aww, how cute.

"Rox, I'm the older one, and _I_ look after _you_. I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm a capable human being."

"It's not about whether you're –"

"Hey, Roxie." For once I was glad to see Axel wrap his arms around my brother and grin at me. "Hey, Meggy."

"Hey, Axie. Make sure he washes his face before he goes to bed, yeah?" Axel chuckled as Roxas went pink. "Be good, you two."

Dem and I got on the bus, picking out our favourite seats and getting settled for the half-hour journey home. I noticed Zexion looking over at us, doing some sort of non-verbal communication with Demyx, and picking a seat on his own. Smart kid, I was still pissed at him for being a dick to Dem.

"Megan?" I looked up at Demyx, who was regarding me with worried watercolour eyes and suddenly looking his age, or older, rather than the usual hopeful little kid in a seventeen-year-old body. "I need to ask you something."

"Ask away, Dem." I couldn't look him in the eye any more. He looked so... not himself. So mature.

"Do you always do the stuff you say you're gonna do?"

"Yeah, of course," I said easily, pulling my feet up onto my chair and resting my chin on my knees. "Why?"

"I'm not talking about things like beating people up and forging notes for me and Rox and skipping class and things like that. I know you do that. I'm talking about when you say things like "Oh, yeah, I'll have lunch in just a minute" or "I'm going to bed now" or whatever." He took hold of my hand. Very few people are allowed to touch me, _especially_ my hands, my neck and my knees, but Dem was an exception. "Do you really look after yourself properly?"

"Yeah..." I said more slowly. "I mean, I do skip the odd meal or whatever, but teenage girls do that, you know? I'm still a healthy weight –"

"Are you? The bathroom scales are broken, Meg. Have been for, what, three months? You couldn't know. If you were a healthy weight three months ago, you won't be now because you've lost so much."

"I haven't," I said, shrugging. "Anyway, I was like, a couple pounds overweight last time I weighed myself, so now I'm –"

"Megan, you have never been so much as an ounce overweight in your entire life. When you first came home, when you were little, Lisa completely freaked out because you were too thin. Don't you remember? For, like, a week it was all cookies and chips and all your favourite foods, and if you left even so much as a mouthful you weren't allowed to listen to your MP3 player. You remember that?"

"Vaguely..." In truth I remembered precisely the rage I had felt when Lisa had taken my MP3 player from me and refused to give it back until I ate everything she wanted me to eat. In hindsight I think that she must have had a set amount of calories I had to have every day. "Look, Dem, I'll gain weight if it'll make you happy. It's just that sometimes I forget to eat, that's all."

There was the sound of a chocolate bar being unwrapped and Demyx handed it to me. "Go on, then."

I genuinely didn't care about the food. I wasn't Naminé. I took it and ate it, then went back to staring out of the window.

"We worry about you, Meg," Demyx said softly, screwing up his chocolate wrapper and slipping it into his pocket. "Not just me and Roxas but Naminé and Marluxia and Yuffie and Xion and all those people you think don't care about you. You're kind of a big presence at school, Megan. People all notice you, and I think they'd all miss you. A lot."

I fought the urge to laugh. "Yeah, sure they would."

"They _would_, Megan. Even the ones that avoid you like crazy because they think you're, well, crazy. People like you, Megan."

I sighed. "Dem, you're so naïve..." I whispered, knowing he couldn't even hear me.

The only other interesting thing that happened during that journey was a huge bump in the road that made Yuffie topple over and laugh hysterically.

We arrived home to find Dad semi-conscious on the sofa with a beer can in his hand, which was not a fun thing to find when you get home. I sent Demyx to sneak upstairs and do some homework or some shit; just as long as he was quiet, it was okay.

I spent about an hour tiptoeing up and down the stairs looking for my favourite jeans, because I had misplaced them and I was kind of sort of hoping to go to some kind of party that some kind of a blonde fuck-up may or may not have been planning. Because his parents never fucking came home. Not that it was any of my business, especially considering I had thoroughly bitched him out this morning.

Demyx emerged from his room after an hour, his face an absolute picture of happiness. "Meg!" he hissed, flapping a hand to get my attention. "Meg, Bowie came back!"

"That's great, Dem!" I whispered. "Listen, have you seen my jeans with the silver bit? I can't find them anywhere and –"

"Kids?" Oh. Fuck. "Megan? Demyx? Roxas?"

"Go back into your room, Demyx," I muttered, slipping back down the stairs to take the brunt of Dad's drunken rage. Or maybe just drunken confusion, I don't really know yet. "Dad?"

"It's _you_! You _slut_!" Hm. Implying I ever get any. "You did it, didn't you?"

"Did what, exactly?" I asked quietly, deciding that I didn't need any yelling or violence if I could avoid it.

"You killed Lisa!"

"Um, no..." I bit my lip. "I'm pretty sure she had a heart attack, Dad. I didn't give her that heart attack. How about you go to bed?"  
>"You little bitch, you killed my wife!" Dad lunged at me and without thinking I started running up the stairs, getting to the one that was second from the top before realising that I had just led him towards Demyx. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the frying pan that was broken, sitting on the landing windowsill for some unexplained reason, and decided not to rule it out as a self-defence option. "Get back here, I'll kill you!"<p>

I really didn't need to end up in a fight with my drunk adoptive "father", so I took another step up, and Dad followed me, eyes narrowed and breathing heavy. "Look, I really don't wanna hurt you, but –"

"Megan, get into my room!" Demyx was standing with his door open, beckoning me over. Without thinking twice I turned and sprinted into his room, hearing him slam and lock the door behind us. "We... we should be safe here." Demyx took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I should've stepped in sooner than that, I'm the older one –"

"Don't worry," I cut across him swiftly, bending down to stroke the cat that was winding itself around my ankles. "This is Bowie, huh?"

"Yeah, it is. Isn't she gorgeous?" Demyx grinned. "I found her in the back garden when I was..." He trailed off, clearly reluctant to tell me why he was in the back garden.

"What were you doing out there, Dem?" He was silent. "C'mon, you can tell me. I don't bite, you know."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know, but..."

"Come on. I'll tell you something. You can have one free question."

Demyx sat down on the floor and I sat down next to him, Bowie curling up on his lap. "Um... well..." There was a loud bang on the door and he grabbed my hand, clearly terrified. "Is that Dad?" he whispered, eyes wide.

"Yeah. Don't let it bother you, he can't get in." I shifted so that I could peer at Demyx's cat. She didn't look injured, and she didn't look pregnant, either, which was my big worry because I doubt Dem would be able to cope with looking after kittens as well as a cat and, most importantly, himself. "So come on, tell me why you were in the garden."

"I was playing with the pond. I wanted to see whether I could talk to water."

"Ooh!" I squealed, sounding momentarily very teenage girlish. "Could you?"

"Well... a little..." I bounced slightly on the spot, suddenly very excited. "I've kinda been practising and I can summon water now, look." He held both hands out in front of him, cupped and steady, and took a deep breath as a pulsating ball of water slowly took shape just above his curved fingers. "It's really cool, huh?"

"Demyx, this is amazing," I breathed, as the water span and formed random, abstract shapes. "That's... wow. You taught yourself to do that?"

"Yup. Kinda like with instruments. It feels like playing an instrument, actually. Except without the sound, which is a little disconcerting." Bowie was purring loudly from Dem's lap as another thump came from the landing, followed by Dad's drunken voice swearing. "Megan, I'm scared." The water was suddenly gone and he took hold of one of my hands again.

"Don't be. We're safe in your room. You have the door locked, right?" He nodded, burying the hand that wasn't clutching mine in Bowie's thick black fur. I had to wonder whether she was a good thing for him, really. Kept him company, at the very least, and gave him something to be responsible for all on his own. The thing about cats is that they are capable of catching their own food, so if he was underfeeding her, she would just wander off and kill herself a pigeon or two. And the thing is that sometimes all Demyx needed was something or someone to cuddle with, and in spite of being a relatively capable sister, I fail at cuddling. Roxas is okay, or so I'm told, but really Demyx is the only hugger in our family.

"At least Roxas is safe," Demyx muttered, his hand tightening around mine. "He and Axel are so cute together, aren't they?"

"Yeah, they are." I bit my lip. I didn't want to think too hard about my little brother being cute somewhere with that annoying redheaded dick, even if he was an annoying redheaded dick that made Roxas happy. "So, Dem... Zexion and Xigbar."

"I was waiting for you to bring them up," he said, smiling slightly. "I guess even when things are really bad," he pointed towards the door, on the other side of which Dad was still stumbling around drunkenly, "you're a nosy little so-and-so, huh?"

"You love it though," I teased, kicking off my shoes because, hey, I may as well get comfy. "So, come on, who are you leaning towards at the moment?"

"Well... I don't know. The whole thing with Traverse Uni has got me thinking just how much I would miss Zexion if he left me. And he was so sweet about it, Megan, he's promised that if he does go then he'll text and call and everything, but..."

"But?" I prompted, hoping for a proclamation about Xigbar next, and preferably one that would cheer Naminé up, because she had been down lately too. (I think things were getting a bit kind of stale between her and Luxord, but you know, I didn't want to mention it to her until she was ready to talk.)

"But Xiggy was really sweet about everything as well. Like, he doesn't _care_ that I'm seeing Zex as well, and he doesn't seem to mind holding me and listening to me whining about Zexion, as long as I'm okay, you know what I mean?"

"That's because Xigbar really really loves you and wants to make sure that you're okay no matter what, Dem," I said quietly, scratching a bug bite of some kind on my right arm. "What if Xigbar left? Would you miss him as much as you'd miss Zexion?"

"Yeah, I would," Demyx said slowly. "But the thing is that I think I'd trust Xigbar a little more, you know? Like, he would call me exactly when he promised to and he wouldn't even look at anyone else, whereas Zexion..." Demyx frowned. "I don't know. He did promise to keep in touch and not cheat or anything, even though it's kind of a weird promise to make because I'm technically cheating on him with Xigbar..."

"You are going to have to make up your mind one way or another, Demyx," I said. "I'm not saying now, or even soon, but they aren't going to wait around forever, either of them." You're also going to have to figure out sex sometime soon, but I'll leave that for Roxas to explain.

Demyx sighed heavily. "I know, I know. Anyway... you said I was entitled to one free question about you."

"Ah, yeah, I did say that." I was pretty confident that Demyx couldn't ask me anything that I wouldn't really want to answer. "Go ahead, then, do your worst."

"Hm..." He regarded me with a tilted head and thoughtful eyes. "You and Seifer. Tell me everything."

"There are parts I can't really tell you..." Most of those parts involve oral. "But, well... I was really in love with him." I think that was actually the first time I had admitted that. "And, well, I didn't want to go out with him or anything, because I was scared of ruining what was already there. But it got to the point when we were, to all intents and purposes, a couple." I sighed and closed my eyes, remembering, immersing myself in bittersweet half-memories. "He would get so _jealous_," I laughed, "and I would get pissed at him for the littlest things, you know, like I was his fucking wife or something, and everyone would refer to us as Seifer-and-Megan, instead of, you know, Seifer... and Megan." If Demyx didn't know what the fuck I was on about he didn't let it show. "And things were tense, yeah, but in an electric, dangerous, _fun_ way, and I wouldn't have given it up for the world, except..."

"Something happened, didn't it?"

"Yeah," I said softly, "something really did. And I don't know... I just realised that I cared about him far too much. And I didn't want that, didn't need that. I was scared of getting hurt, so I hurt him instead. I'm kinda selfish that way."

"You're not selfish, Meg. Domineering sometimes, reckless and clueless and thoughtless, yeah. But also loving and sweet and understanding and honest and the best little sister I could have. And I really, really love you." Demyx was holding my hand again, and really, I didn't mind half as much as I should have, because he was my brother and he was an exception. "So what's going on with you and Seifer now?"

"Well, he keeps pestering me. And I don't know whether he just wants me to be his little lapdog or some shit, or whether he really does care about me and miss me the way he says he does. The thing is, he's so manipulative, but he's also so damn vulnerable, and I really don't wanna hurt him any more than I already have..."

Demyx sighed. "Megan, I think that you need to put yourself and your feelings first for a change. If you like him, just tell him that and see where it takes you."  
>"Well, I would, but... well, apart from anything else, I was a complete bitch to him this morning and I don't want to have to apologise to him, you know?" Demyx nodded. "But... I guess I have to, really."<p>

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Demyx said slowly. "By the way... you know all the weird stuff Zexion does to me... did Seifer ever do that to you? Is it, like, normal?"

"What, you mean touching you in weird places and trying to take off your clothes and that?" Demyx nodded. "Well, yeah, he did. But that doesn't really make it _normal_. Just... don't let him do anything that you aren't comfortable with, and all the rest of it. I'm assuming you've heard this before?"

"Yeah, from you, and from Xiggy. Oh, and Marly kind of mentioned it in passing." Good old Marly. I really should ask him about Vexen when I can be bothered. "You know, I'm starving."

"I don't think it's the best of ideas to leave your room at the moment, Demyx," I said, listening to Dad kicking a wall and muttering about how he was going to kill "that insolent slut" which probably meant me, although, repeat, that's implying I ever get any. "Let's wait until he falls asleep or something, yeah?"

Demyx nodded. "So much for making sure you eat plenty because you've lost so much weight."

"I know, Dem, I know. I'm really glad I have you around to look after me, you know."

"Even though you're the one who does most of the looking after in this family." Demyx pulled a face. "We need real parents. Maybe Nami's parents will adopt us and she'll be our sister."

"Yeah, but then Cloud would be our brother so we couldn't enjoy his cuteness any more," I pointed out, and Demyx grimaced. "What would be really great is if Axel's parents decided to take us in after Roxas and Axel get married. I really like Axel's parents."

"Apparently his grandma is real nice too," Demyx said.

"Ooh, he has a grandma? I wanna meet her, I bet she's awesome. Hey, does Axel have any siblngs?"

Demyx shrugged. "I dunno, Roxas never mentioned..."

"I think there are a few things that Roxas hasn't mentioned," I muttered, thinking mostly of things I had overheard and couldn't be bothered to confront Roxas about. "So... I reckon we're gonna be in here a while. You wanna play I Spy or something?"  
>"You always win," Demyx complained. "I guess we don't have much else better to do, huh? I Spy, with my little eye, something beginning with Q."<p>

I began looking around the room for things that began with Q and smiled to myself at the pure strangeness of our lives.

xxx

I wanted this chapter to be shorter, but it wasn't. I apologise for making you suffer this much.

I decided to update before school so that if I had a really shit day full of double Chemistry and teenage girls PMSing at each other, at least I could come home to one or two nice reviews. I finally have more than a hundred reviews on this fic, and I'm SO happy! Except I'm not happy right now because I've just had a fight with my dad, but you know. Details. Reviews please? (I sound pathetic, I know. Oh, well.)


	29. Chapter 29

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

Okay, I have a confession to make here.

When Naminé emailed me gay Twilight fanfiction, I actually did read some of it. Just a little. And even though it made me feel physically sick, it was pretty damn educational. So that's how I knew how to reduce Axel to a begging wreck on the floor within seconds, and that's why I was always on top, whether the redhead liked it or not.

Until he decided he was going to play dirty.

It was our third, fourth or maybe even fifth round, and Axel had managed to acquire handcuffs from somewhere or other. I think that he was keeping them under his pillow, just in case the opportunity arose to use them. I could have dealt with it if it was just handcuffs, I would've been on the bottom once and then reclaimed the upper hand, all would be well.

But he was using _fire_.

Not as in he was burning me, or threatening to burn me. He wasn't that much of a dick (I hoped) and anyway, Megan would kill him if she found out he had hurt me. But he was making me very, very warm, and I looked down to see flames licking my bare legs, not burning or even hot, just warm and soothing.

"My turn, little Roxie," he purred, sliding his hands up my chest, an evil smile playing across his face. "How long do you think you'll last underneath me, huh?"

"You... you dick," I panted, squirming a little underneath his touch. "You'll burn me –"

"I know what I'm doing," he whispered, beginning to nom on my neck and making me whimper. "I won't burn you, babe, and if I do then I can play nurse afterwards, right?"

"Oh my _God_, Axel, do that again... _fuck..._" His hands were everywhere, his tongue on my chest and fire licking everywhere he couldn't reach with his own body, not a degree too warm and so, so delicious...

"You regret letting me top yet, sweetie?"

"I didn't let you do jack shit, I'm kinda handcuffed here," I told him, trying to twist away from him as he reached for my underwear. No idea why I had put those back on knowing that we'd be at it again within half an hour. In fact, I think that Axel caught me off guard while I was trying to put some sort of clothing back on in an attempt to pretend I had some modesty left.

"You love it though, don't you?" He had just managed to remove my boxers. "I'm going to make you scream tonight, Roxie, and you won't be able to walk straight ever again."

I bit my lip. "Can't you be _gentle_, Axel? Please?"

That may have been a bad idea. Axel's face split into the unholiest of grins and his fingernails dug into my skin. "Maybe if you're a good boy, after I've finished destroying you, I'll make sweet, soft love to you, and then cook you breakfast. How does that sound?"

"Can we miss out the part where you destroy me?" I asked, noticing with some concern that the flames around me were beginning to get hotter. "Um... Axel..."

"Relax, I know what I'm doing." He leaned down, his mouth inches away from mine. "Get ready, because I'm not stopping for the world."

The scariest, hottest thing was that he meant it.

**Demyx**

Megan and I were starting to get hungry. It was almost eleven and Dad was still on the landing, we thought, but he was starting to settle down a little. After a long argument in which Megan insisted she should go and I pointed out that Dad was convinced that she had killed Lisa, so actually, it would be a better idea for me to go. She hated this idea, but even she had to admit that there was more of a danger for her than there was for me. Very reluctantly, she let me leave the room to see if I could slip downstairs and grab us some food.

I took a deep breath as I opened the door. We needed food, Meg more than me, and there would be plenty of time to be a coward after I had got my little sister and myself something to eat. Still, the door creaking slightly made me wince, and I made sure to shut it firmly behind me, so that even if Dad noticed me he wouldn't notice –

"Megan?" Dad looked up from the floor. I think he was kicking the sideboard. "Oh, it's _you_, you special little fairy child. You think you're something else, don't you, you whiny homo bitch?"

I swallowed. "Um... I..."

"Well let me tell you something. You're a little piece of shit who doesn't deserve to even live in the same house as someone _normal_ like me, and your sister is the same." I gritted my teeth. I was willing to put up with him saying stuff about me, but I really didn't like it when he started on Roxas and Megan. "You're an ugly little fuck-up and I regret ever letting my wife pick you out of all the _normal_ orphans she could have chosen."

"I am normal," I muttered. Just because I preferred guys didn't make me any less than any other kid, right?

"You have the fucking _nerve_ to claim to be normal? You bitch! Get back in your room!"

Deep breath. I tilted my chin up, folded my arms, and attempted to prepare myself for the worst. "No."

"No? _No_? You dare say no to me?" I heard the punch before I felt it, but when I did feel it... wow. Warmth spread across my left cheek, not even _pain_ at first, and I had to be grateful that years of cutting myself had heightened my pain threshold. "Get back in your room, Demyx."

"No." I braced myself to be hit again, but it didn't come. Instead he shoved me against the wall, knocking all of the wind out of me.

"I'll fucking kill you, you bitch! I'll fucking kill you!"

His hands closed around my throat and I bit my lip, waiting for him to start squeezing. There was one second that felt like an eternity, in which all he did was glare at me, and I closed my eyes, thinking that if I did die, I wouldn't want to die looking at the man who had made my life miserable for years on end.

There was some pressure on my neck –

Then there was the weirdest clanging noise, and Dad fell forwards onto me, sort of sliding sideways until he lay on the floor unconscious. I opened my eyes to see Megan, frying pan held above her head and eyes fixed on Dad, the back of whose head was starting to bleed. When it became clear that he wasn't going to get back up, Meg lowered her pan and smiled brightly at me like nothing had happened. The weight of everything suddenly hit me – Dad tried to kill me, Megan saved my life, for all I knew she could have just murdered him – and I slumped against the wall, feeling sick to my stomach, my heart pounding harder than it ever had before. It felt like it was about to leave my chest.

"You okay?" Megan asked, putting the frying pan back on the windowsill and leaning against the wall herself, clearly as shaken up as I was.

"Yeah, are you?" I reached up to touch my left cheek, which felt like it was already starting to bruise where I had been punched. I'd have to put some make-up on that for school tomorrow. The last thing I needed was Xigbar or Zexion getting worried, especially if Zexion was still trying to make a decision about university. I really didn't want him staying in Twilight Town just to babysit me because of Dad.

Megan sighed. "I suppose I've been better. But I'm not hurt." She gently tugged my hand away from my face to peer at the bruise on my cheek. "You want some ice on that?"

I shook my head. "I don't think it'll help all that much."

There was a long silence in which we both looked at Dad's unconscious, bleeding form. "You know he's going to go mental if he wakes up and realises I hit him with a frying pan," Megan said quietly, leaning down to inspect the damage her pan had done.

"Better than just letting him strangle me. Thanks for that, Meg. I think you saved my life."

She shrugged like saving my life was as minor as freeing a spider that was trapped in the bathtub. "I just wish I'd come out of your room sooner, I didn't realise he hit you..."

"It's not your fault." No way was I letting her blame herself for this. It wasn't anyone's fault but Dad's. "Can we have something to eat now?"

Megan smiled. "Always with the food, Demyx, honestly." I grinned. "Tell you what. You go downstairs and get something to eat, and I'll move him into his bed." She gestured to Dad. "Hopefully I hit him hard enough that he won't remember much, and we can just tell him that he smacked his head on a door or some shit and he passed out."

"Okay." I nodded obediently, starting down the stairs. "Oh, and Megs?"

Her face twitched as if it wanted to scowl, but she answered to the name Megs anyway. I appreciated that. "What's up, Dem?"

"You have to eat too. I mean it. And make sure you get some sleep tonight."

She smiled, the sort of smile you only see from people who have just left the scene of a car crash, or received bad news from their doctor, or are in some way or another struggling to carry on, but doing it anyway. "Okay, Demyx, I will. Just let me move Dad, and then I'll come down and get myself something to eat."

I thudded down the stairs, being clumsy at the best of times and even worse when I was shaking and queasy from nearly being strangled, and I knocked over a thing or two on my way to the kitchen. Still, I got there in one piece, and grabbed myself some bread and the strawberry jam, figuring that even _I_ could throw together a sandwich. I managed it, more or less (the jam bled out of the sides and got all over my hands and shirt, but hey, that's what soap is for) and had a couple of Oreos afterwards because, well, _Oreos_, c'mon. They are the food of the gods.

Megan arrived in the kitchen after about five minutes of her thumping and swearing upstairs, probably struggling to move Dad's body. She rolled her eyes at the sight of me covered in jam and helped herself to some Oreos and an apple. It wasn't exactly a meal, but at least she was eating. I didn't like the fact that she was so skinny. I didn't like her being pale and I didn't like the way she sometimes swayed when she stood up, like she was really dizzy but of course, she never mentioned it, because she's Megan and she doesn't want to admit that she doesn't have time to take care of everyone if everyone includes herself.

"You sure you're okay, Dem?" she asked through a mouthful of Oreo.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I was actually holding up pretty well, ignoring the fact that it was half past eleven now and I wasn't the slightest bit tired. "I could do with taking a sleepy pill tonight though, I don't think I'll get to sleep any other way."

"That's absolutely fine," Megan said. "Just remember to make sure you're in bed when you take it, yeah?"

"Oh, come on, Megan, I'm not that stupid. I don't make the same mistake twice." Meg just raised an eyebrow. "I don't! Honestly, I don't know why everyone thinks I'm so thick..."

Megan laughed. "You know I'm kidding, Demyx. I think the world of you and Rox."

"I know." I opened the cupboard and took out my sleepy pills and a plastic cup. "I'm going to try and get some sleep now, okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"And Megan?"

She looked up from the apple she had been gazing lovingly at, meeting my gaze sort of reluctantly. She was tired, I could tell. Tired and upset. "Megan, promise me you'll go to sleep as well. You won't just stay up to watch over me or talk to Naminé or anything?"

"I promise, Demyx." I could actually see her crossed fingers behind her back, but said nothing. Hopefully she would just doze off when she got too tired.

"Night, Megs." I went back up to my room, careful not to step in the small puddle of Dad's blood that was on the carpet, and took my sleepy pill. It would take anywhere between fifteen minutes and an hour to take effect, so I got comfortable in bed, picked up my phone and started a text to Zexion. Then I deleted it all, deciding that Zex had enough to think about without me adding to it, and considered texting Xigbar, but again, decided against it.

I still felt jittery and restless after half an hour. Maybe things weren't all as peachy as I hoped they would be. I mean, sure, Megan had saved me, but who knows how much harm she had done Dad? It wouldn't be a problem – nobody really cared about Dad's welfare, considering how horrible he was – but we didn't need anyone coming along to split us up. I was still pretty disturbed by what Roxas had said about me being eighteen soon and having to live on my own. Most seventeen-year-olds would be ecstatic at the thought of living by themselves, not having to deal with bossy parents or whiny siblings or whatever they have to deal with in their mundane, easy lives. But that thought just _terrified_ me. I didn't want to lose Megan or Roxas. And if staying with them meant staying with Dad, I would.

It would be nice to fall asleep soon, though.

**Megan**

I lay flat on my back at midnight, listening to Demyx drumming on the wall. He should be at least settling down by now, but he was getting more and more agitated. I sighed, went into his room, and saw him hanging sort-of upside-down on his bed, still kicking his wall. He smiled when he saw me, but it wasn't Demyx's usual smile, and to be honest it made my blood run cold.

"Hey, Megan!" he chirped, attempting to right himself but failing and staying upside-down. "I can't sleep."

"I know, Dem. Here's an idea: how about you take another sleepy pill, and then have tomorrow off school?" Ordinarily this wouldn't even cross my mind – days off school were always risky for us, especially with Dad being the way that he was, and I knew that overdosing on sleeping medication was never a bright idea, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and if he got any more worked up than he was now, there was more than a chance that he would hurt himself.

"I wanna go to school tomorrow!" There was another, very enthusiastic kick to the wall. "It's not my fault! You can't punish me for being weird!"

"Nobody's punishing you, and you aren't weird," I told as soothingly as I could, reaching for the small white pot on his bedside table, the one that contained small mouthfuls of sleep. "If you're in a fit state to go tomorrow, I'll let you, but we don't want you collapsing or anything, right?"

Demyx nodded. "Okay."

I made him sit up properly to take his second pill of the night, and then stayed in his room to keep an eye on him, worried he might just stop breathing in the night. He looked so peaceful and so young, and I felt guilt poke at me, because _how could I let Dad taint him like that_? How could I let _anyone_ yell at him, upset him, affect him in any way other than positively? How could I fail him so much?

I don't do guilt or shame very often. As emotions go, I think they're counterproductive. But when I feel them, they hit me hard. And right now, I felt awful to have let him get hurt like that.

At six, my alarm went off, and I went and got dressed. Demyx was still out for the count, barely fidgeting in his sleep, and when I came back he had his thumb in his mouth. I wasn't sure about letting him go to school today – apart from anything else, he wasn't going to have time to get ready if he didn't get up soon – but I didn't want him staying home if Dad was here too, regardless of whether I stayed home as well.

I twitched when I heard a creaking noise somewhere in the house. _It's just the house settling, _I remember I always used to hear, though I can't remember who said it. _Buildings, they like to fidget. It's just the house getting comfortable is all._

Bowie pawed at my leg. "It's just the house settling, Bowie," I whispered, trying to remember who it had been to tell me that.

She meowed at me as the floorboards creaked again, and I swallowed. "Be quiet, you stupid cat. I know Demyx hasn't fed you yet, but he's kind of unconscious. Now do me a favour and leave me alone."

Then there was the sound of boots hitting the floor and I almost thought that Bowie _knew_, and she was warning me. "Demyx," I hissed, shaking his shoulder. "Dem, you've gotta wake up, we need to hide."

"Hnng?" He lifted his head from his pillow a little. "Megan?"

"Get under your bed," I breathed, standing up and grabbing the nearest heavy book, which was in fact his French textbook. "Now."

I could hear slow, heavy footsteps about to leave Dad's room. "Megan... five more minutes..."

"No. Under the bed, now." Demyx began carefully lowering himself onto the floor, not even standing up first, and looking very shaky when he supported all of his weight on his left arm. "Okay, now no matter what happens, stay under there and try not to go back to sleep, right?"

"Yeah." He promptly went back to sleep. I sighed, exasperated, and tiptoed to his door, book raised.

"Okay, Megan, there is a time and a place to be a pussy," I told myself under my breath, my grip tightening on the French textbook in my hand, "and this is not it."

I pulled to door open slowly, just as Dad opened his. We stared at each other for a heartbeat – if he even had a heart – and then before I even knew what was going on, he had the upper hand. My back was against the wall, he was pulling my hair, and the French textbook was on the floor with half of its pages horribly crumpled.

I didn't scream. I whimpered a little, but I didn't scream. I didn't even try to get away as he spat insults at me and hurt me in ways I didn't know I could hurt. Because apart from the fact that it wouldn't be as bad if I just let it happen, and apart from my reluctance to wake Demyx, there was an odd sense that something like this had happened to me before, and I wanted to understand. So I let him do everything he wanted to do to me, and then I scurried back to Demyx's room, adjusting my skirt as I went.

_What a day to decide to wear a skirt_, I thought bitterly as I tugged Demyx out from under his bed. _Okay, I can't afford to dwell on it. Gotta get Dem ready for school..._

"Come on, Demyx, up you get," I murmured, pulling some concealer out of my pocket and beginning to dab it onto Demyx's cheek where Dad had hit him last night. "You still wanna go to school? You wanna go see Xiggy and Zexy and Nami?"

"Mm-hm." Will a little assistance he got dressed and washed, and I grabbed some cash from his piggy bank, because we both needed breakfast and I didn't want to stay in the house with Dad around. I think that he went back to bed, but I wanted to be safe, or rather, I wanted Demyx to be safe. I got him down to the bakery across the street, having to support him for most of the way because he couldn't walk in a straight line on his own just yet, and hoped against hope that he would wake up at least a little bit before school.

"What d'you want for breakfast, Dem?" I asked him as we stood in the oddly long queue to buy some food. I barely had enough to buy two croissants. I may have to skip breakfast.

"Um... I..." Demyx was about to fall asleep standing up. I tugged his hand and he shuffled forwards a little, nearly bumping into the handbag of the woman in front of us. "Oreos?"

"You can't have Oreos for breakfast." The only real reason for that was that they didn't sell them here. "How about a croissant?"

We arrived at the counter. "What can I get you two?" the baker lady asked with a warm red-lipstick smile.

"Um, we're still deciding." I looked at Demyx. "You want a croissant?"

"Can I have a chocolate croissant?" he mumbled, leaning against me and shutting his eyes again.

I glanced at the prices. Not if I wanted any breakfast, he couldn't. "Tell you what, you go find us some seats, and I'll get the food, okay?" He nodded dumbly – the kind of nod I only saw from him when he was about to fall asleep – and began wandering around looking for two free seats. "Sorry about my brother, he overdosed a little on his sleep medication last night..."

"Oh, it's fine, sweetheart, honestly. So you want a chocolate croissant?"

I bit my lip. "Thing is if he has a chocolate croissant, I can't afford anything for me..." I sighed. "Yeah, I'll have a chocolate croissant, please." I handed over exact change and looked over at Demyx as she put his breakfast into a paper bag and my munny into the cash register. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, darlin'. Has anyone ever told you that you have _gorgeous_ eyes?"

I examined her for a moment, trying to tell whether or not she was being genuine. "Um... no, they haven't. Thanks."

"Don't mention it, cupcake." Never in my life have I been called cupcake. Or darlin'. Or sweetheart. I decided she was just one of those people, like Naminé, and I should let it go. I crossed the warm bakery-slash-café and sat down opposite Demyx.

"Here we go, Dem," I said, partially to wake him up, because he had been resting his head against the wall and dozing on and off. I unwrapped the top of the paper bag and opened it, taking out Dem's croissant. "Wait a sec..." There were two. "Okay, you sit tight and eat that, yeah? I'll be back in a second."

I went back up to the counter to talk to the lady. "Excuse me? You gave me two croissants by mistake, I only paid for –"

"You're very honest, aren't you?" she mused, handing a rather large man a rather large sausage roll.

"Well, do you want any more munny? I only have, like, five, but –"

"No, cherub, it's fine."

"Well what if –"

"Just shh," she interjected, winking at me. "You clearly need it. One for you and one for your brother. Just don't tell my boss, he'll have my head."

Realising that she wasn't going to back down, I nodded. "Thanks very much."

"Any time." I returned to the table with Demyx and demolished my own croissant within seconds. I was clearly a lot hungrier than I'd felt.

"Lady seems nice." Demyx pointed to the lady who'd just given me a free croissant. "We going yet?"

"Yeah, we probably should." I checked my watch. We only had two minutes before the bus was due to arrive, and if Bob the douchebag was driving then we only had five seconds, or twenty minutes. "You okay walking?"

He nodded. He still looked a bit wobbly as he stood up, but he managed to slope out of the bakery-café clinging to my hand. We got to the bus just on time, showed our passes to Bob the douchebag, who just sneered at us douchebaggishly and let us on with a face that suggested he would rather chew tree bark than have us on his bus. "Okay, Dem, what do you have first period."

"Um... don't know." I sighed and extracted his timetable from his pocket.

"Chemistry, and then History. Well, okay, Zexion'll look after you in History, right?" Demyx nodded sleepily, looking like all he wanted to do was snuggle up and go back to sleep. "Chemistry... who's in your Chemistry class?"

"I am!" chirped a voice from behind us, and I turned in my seat to see Yuffie, actually sitting down for a change, waving her hand above her head like I wouldn't have noticed her anyway.

"Okay, Yuffie, can you do me a huge favour and keep an eye on him during Chem? He's really drowsy and I don't want him getting hurt or anything."  
>"No problem, it's a ninja's duty to protect the innocent and defenceless." Oh, yeah. I forgot about her whole ninja thing. Well, whatever floated her boat.<p>

"You hear that, Dem? Yuffie's gonna look after you during Chemistry, is that okay?" He nodded, then closed his eyes and seemed to drift off to sleep again. "Demyx, I need you to stay awake now, we'll be at school in ten minutes."

I shot a quick text to Cloud, begging him to buy me the morning-after pill and send Naminé into school with it, preferably without telling her what it was, and then stuck my feet up on the back of someone else's seat.

"Hope Rox is okay," Demyx murmured, still struggling to remain awake. "He's at Axel's right?"

"Yeah, he is." It dawned on me that with Dad this insane, we would do well to stay out of the house at least until tomorrow. Which meant I would need to find places for the boys to stay, and me as well. Rox could probably get away with another night at Axel's without his parents asking questions, and Dem could stay at Zexion's or Xigbar's. I mean, I didn't really love either of those possibilities, considering he was doped up on sedatives and so his judgement was even more impaired than it usually is, but I suppose that they were the lesser of two evils. Anyway, Zexion was leaving for university soon, if he decided to go (which he probably would, knowing him) and Demyx deserved to spend as much time as he could with his EMO boyfriend before they had to say goodbye.

I sighed and looked at my filthy shoes, wondering when it was going to get easier. Fire wasn't helping me. Nothing was really helping me any more. Not for the first time, as we drove over the bridge that hung over a busy road leading to the train station, I wondered whether it would be easier to stop being.

Nobody tell Marluxia I contemplate suicide now and again, though. He'd only try and help me. I didn't need help. I needed it to stop.

xxx

I now own Hello Kitty pyjamas. My life is actually complete.

In more important news, I wrote a MarVex oneshot entitled "Differences" that you really should go read, and I'm planning another MarVex oneshot that's actually canon with this story (and yes, My Unicorn Romance, Bowie will make an appearance.) I strongly suggest putting me on Author Alert so you see it when I post it. Also give me hugs and cookies and internet dollars and reviews and so on.

Big loves, hugs and smiles from your favourite Unicorn.


	30. Chapter 30

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Naminé**

Cloud was not a fun person to be in a car with when he was angry, _especially_ if he was driving, and even more especially if the roads were wet. He pulled over sharply outside the pharmacy and I took a deep breath, relieved that the car had stopped even if we weren't at school yet.

"Um... what are we doing here?" I asked quietly, tightening my seatbelt some more. Nothing fit me any more, not even my damn seatbelt. Wouldn't it be ironic if anorexia killed me not because I starved myself to death, but because my seatbelt wouldn't save me any more?

"I have something to pick up." He got out of the car and slammed the door behind him, locking me in like I was still five years old, and jogged into the pharmacy. I waited for a freezing cold two minutes, and when he came back I held up my pinky-blue fingers to indicate how cold I was. He grimaced but said nothing – Cloud often grimaces but says nothing – and tossed a small box inside a white paper bag onto my lap.

"What's this?" I asked, making a motion to open the bag, but Cloud's glare stopped me.

"They're for Megan. Don't look inside the bag." Wait, what? Megan, keeping secrets from me? That was new. She didn't always tell me things straight away, true, but she didn't actively prevent me from finding things out. "You want dropping off near the bus stop?"

"Yeah, I do." I frowned at the box in my lap. What could Meg need from the pharmacy that I couldn't see? Tampons? She _had_ kinda stopped mentioning her periods around me because she knew that I envied her for still having them, because you know, I had starved myself to the point where I couldn't menstruate any more. I didn't know whether they would ever come back. Megan had actually mentioned once that if I wanted "little blonde bundles of pretty" with Luxord, I would need to start eating again soon, before I wound up sterile.

I was starting to wonder whether I really _did_ want to live happily ever after with Luxord, though. He was gorgeous and amazing and everything, and could do a whole lot better than me. And I was worried he _would_ do a whole lot better than me, or he would live out his life wishing that he _had_ done better than me, or...

"Naminé, we're here." I started. "Come on, get out of the car."

"Oh. Okay. Have a good day, Cloud."

"Have a good day. Make sure you eat lunch."

I laughed hollowly. "You really think I could avoid eating lunch with Megan around?"

Cloud almost smiled. "True. See you tonight."

I clambered out of the car and watched my older brother drive away, then peeked inside the bag. Hang on a second. What... the... _fuck_.

"Emergency contraception," I breathed, my eyes flying over the label. "For use up to seventy-two hours after intercourse." Well, it definitely wasn't for either of her brothers. "The _fuck_?"

"Hey, Naminé." I hid the box behind my back, blushing madly, and turned to face Roxas, who was hand-in-hand with Axel. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I squeaked, the blood practically bubbling in my face. "How are you two?"

"We're _great_, aren't we, Roxie?" Axel grinned, slipping an arm around Roxas's waist and eyeing the dark purple marks on his neck with obvious pleasure. I'm going to take a wild guess here and suggest that they had sex last night.

"Yes, Axel, we are," Roxas sighed exasperatedly, leaning against him slightly. "Have you seen Meg or Dem yet, Nami? They're coming in on the bus..."

"No, I haven't. My brother took me to school this morning because I refused to eat breakfast."

"Wait, what?" Axel asked. I have to say, I don't think Axel is quite as obnoxious as Megan says he is. She just has the whole big sister thing going on a bit too much. It was the same with Zexion, really, he wasn't as much of an asshole as everyone said he was. He was just very into the whole self-preservation thing, and I could fully understand that. I had to wonder whether something had happened to him, and that was why he was so reclusive. If that was the case, Demyx would be great for him. Believe it or not, Demyx can be very understanding when he tries to be, and really, anyone would benefit from his bouncy optimism and huge smile.

"Yeah, if I don't have breakfast, my parents won't let me get the bus. They know I love getting the bus because of Megan, so they figure it's the best way to make me eat." I shrugged. "Megan thinks it's bullshit, but you know..."

Axel nodded. "That does kinda sound like bullshit."

"Oh, so you're agreeing with Megan? I'll have to let her know," Roxas grinned, squirming when Axel stuck three fingers into his ribcage and started to tickle the rather short blonde. "Okay, okay, I give!"

"Nah, I do admit that Meggy has her good qualities." Axel grinned down at Roxas. "Like helping me get laid."

Roxas scoffed. "You have _no_ respect for me, you know that? Your mother seems to think that you're the perfect little gentleman, but really you're nothing but a sex fiend."

Axel slammed Roxas against a wall and I tried really hard not to start squeeing like some kind of a fangirl. I mean, I _am_ some kind of a fangirl, but nobody needed me to prove it. "A sex fiend, hm? Whatever would give you _that_ impression?"

"Get a room, you two," sneered someone as they walked past. It was Seifer. Hang on a minute – Seifer – Megan – morning-after pill...

"Seifer!" I called out. He turned around. "I need to ask you something...?"  
>"It had better be quick." He was still a dick. Oh, well.<p>

"It's about Megan," I said, just to catch his attention. It did, of course, and he froze completely. "When was the last time you two had a conversation?"

He tilted his head thoughtfully. "I think it was yesterday morning. Yeah, I drunk-dialled her the night before, and then she called me yesterday morning and basically told me that she wanted nothing to do with me any more because she had too much else on her plate."

"And, um, when was the last time you two had any... um... physical contact?" Megan insisted that she and Seifer had never had sex, but you know, sometimes she stretches the truth a little.

"_Ages_ ago. Why?"

I can't lie. At all. "Um... well..."

He just rolled his eyes at me and walked off, probably looking for some puppies to kick.

"Seifer's a dick," Axel said bluntly, watching Seifer walk away. "Like, he's _really_ dickish."

I shrugged. "I know how it feels to have Megan constantly push you away. I'm not saying that it makes it okay for him to be a dick. But I understand."

Roxas sighed. "We'd better get to class. See you around, Nami."

I waved as they walked away, then hung around the bus stop, waiting for the bus to pull up so that I could hand over Megan's emergency contraception. And hopefully wheedle some information out of her about who she was having sex with.

She had to help Demyx off the bus. That was the first odd thing. Then there was the bruise on Demyx's cheek, hidden by concealer but obviously swollen and really pretty bad. You had to admire Megan's effort, though. Most people would have just made up some bullshit story about getting hit by a door or something.

Then there was the way she was walking, really awkwardly, painfully, a lot like the way Roxas and Axel both walked after a night together. So whoever had fucked her had done it pretty thoroughly. I really, really hoped it was some one night stand, or she had a secret boyfriend, or hey, a secret girlfriend, or _anything _that was relatively normal and healthy for a teenage girl.

The thing is, Megan wouldn't let anyone fuck her. I'm almost certain of that. Seifer once compared her vagina to a steel trap. I don't want to think about that too hard, but it's obvious that she is not an easy girl. Even for her to have a one night stand is out of character, not least because she's constantly with her brothers, and for her to attempt any kind of relationship that involved sex was more or less unheard of.

She still smiled at me like I was her whole world and limped over to me. "Hey, Nami, how are you?"

"I think the bigger question at the moment is how are you?" I returned, handing her the box from the pharmacy and trying to gauge whether or not she could tell I could tell that she had been fucked.

"I'm fine. Dem's not, really, but Yuffie's taking care of him." I didn't dare mention that the time Yuffie took care of my goldfish, it died. I mean, her intentions are good and everything, but... "Look, can I stay over at your place tonight?"

I nodded, deciding that the best way to find things out was through subtle question-asking when she was half-asleep. It was a trick I had recommended to Axel, which was how he knew that letting Roxas top was the only way to keep him happy. Of course, there was a slight difference between Roxas and Megan, but there weren't as many differences as you might think.

"I think we should get to class." I looked up. "Looks like it's gonna rain."

We were _almost _halfway to the entrance when the heavens opened. We both screamed and clung to each other as our lungs were emptied of all the warm humid air and replaced by laughing, screaming, being soaked to the bone. Our clothes stuck to our bodies and our hair stuck to our faces and we barely managed to stumble into the warm, dry English corridor because we were laughing so hard.

"Oh... my... _God_..." Megan choked, shaking some of the water off her shirt. "You can see my _bra_, I'm _frozen_, oh my _God_..."

"Let's go to the bathroom and sit under the hand dryers for a bit, yeah?" We slipped and slid our way to the girls' bathroom and sat down under the hand dryers, having to smack the buttons every twenty seconds, until we were just damp rather than completely soaked. "God, I really don't wanna go to –"

"Then don't," Megan laughed, not even bothering to find out which lesson I wanted to skip because this was _Megan _and she knew me better than I knew myself. "Just stay here. Enjoy my company." She nudged my knee with hers for effect. "We've got nothing better to do."

We could talk about the person who hurt you, or at least had sex with you, but I don't think you'll let me just yet, will you?

"I love you, Meggy."

She didn't even bat an eyelid this time, and I almost thought that she took comfort in the one thing she claimed to despise. Maybe that was why she was pushing it away, because it comforted her, and she didn't want comforting.

"I love you too, Nami."

**Zexion**

"Okay, Demyx, just sit down here next to Zexion, okay?"

Yuffie had escorted Demyx to our History classroom. I'm not sure why. People couldn't seem to understand the fact that Demyx was gay. As in, obviously, flamingly, may-as-well-be-wearing-a-neon-sign gay. By now it was common knowledge that he had a boyfriend. Whether that boyfriend was me or Xigbar depends on who you ask, but everyone knew he was spoken for. And he _still_ had girls circling him like vultures. It pissed me off. It pissed me off like hell to see all of them batting their eyelashes and giggling and knowing that he didn't really get it, it just pissed me off because I loved him and I wanted him all to myself.

And it kind of goes without saying that every time I saw Xigbar with his hands all over my boyfriend it made me want to hurt him. A lot.

"Hey, Zex." Demyx smiled blearily at me, his ankle hooking around mine instinctively. "I missed you."

"How come you're so tired?" I asked, reaching for his hand under the table and fighting a smile when he laced his fingers through mine. "Couldn't you sleep last night?"  
>He shook his head. "I got really upset, so Meg made me take an extra sleepy pill to make me go to bed." Megan. I couldn't hate Megan however much I wanted to. Demyx was her entire world and she lived to keep him safe. Therefore, I couldn't bitch at her. And in all honesty, she looked so damn feeble at the moment that I couldn't be a bitch to her without getting some serious karma up my ass.<p>

"Why were you so upset?" I asked, watching the door for signs of Leonhart coming through the door. He was fairly cute, I'll give him that, but utterly incompetent as a teacher. In fact, one time he forgot that he had a class to teach, and just stayed in the staffroom all lesson, meaning that we all just hung out in the classroom, apart from a few badasses who wandered off to buy ice cream and questionable magazines.

Demyx sighed and rested his head on my shoulder. "I don't know, really. My dad kind of yelled a bit."

"Just yelled?" I've always had this sneaking suspicion that Demyx's dad got violent from time to time, and today, with Demyx drowsy and comfortable on my shoulder, would be a great day to subtly find out.

"Yeah." He yawned and I slipped my arm around his waist. I know that Megan and Xigbar think I'm constantly creeping on Demyx, but I'm not. My hands slip from time to time, but I'm a teenage boy, and in all honesty I think I've been an absolute saint about Demyx's problems so far. And he's not retarded, anyway. If he really didn't like me, he was smart enough to break up with me. "God, I'm tired."

"You could always go to Aeris and ask to go home early."

He shook his head. "I dunno what Dad's gonna be like. He might be really really angry, and I really don't wanna have to deal with him if he is." Demyx yawned widely, his nose wrinkling. "I think Megan might make me stay at Axel's again tonight."

"You can always stay at my place, you know," I said, smoothing hair out of his face and kissing his neck softly, trying to ignore the whispers bubbling around the room. Fucking superficial bitches. "I bet Axel's place is hardly a fun place to be, particularly if Roxas is there. You wanna come over to mine?"

He shook his head. "Nah. You've got a lot on your plate with choosing a university and everything..."

"Have you started thinking about it yet? University, I mean?"

Demyx's eyes fluttered closed. "Not really. I don't even think I'll get into a university, in all honesty, unless I can get a music scholarship."

"N'aww, don't say that!" I protested, resting my head on top of his. "You'll be great at whatever you choose to do, you know that."

"Whatever you say," he murmured, nuzzling into my shoulder. I fought a smile and let him rest, knowing that he was far too tired to have to deal with the ins and outs of further education and all the grown-up shit that I barely wanted to think about.

"Psst! Zexion!" I turned to see Ella giving me two thumbs up. God, she was so annoying. Literally my only friend, she was blonde and peppy and the complete antithesis of my grouchy EMO self. To this day I have no idea why she decided to attach herself to me and try and set me up with Demyx, but I have to say she came in handy more often than not. She was one of the only accurate sources of information with regards to Demyx and Xigbar, and made some amazing brownies as well. Still, she was annoying as fuck, and I wasn't about to get overly-attached to her. Life had taught me not to get attached to people, anyway.

So why the fuck I had a ditzy blonde half-asleep on my shoulder is beyond me.

"Ella, leave me alone." Leonhart was ten minutes late now. If he left it much longer I was going to lose interest and walk into the centre of town, preferably with Demyx, and buy myself some food. I had skipped breakfast because my idiot mother forgot I had AP Physics in the morning and let me sleep in for half an hour.

Ella often called me a "snob with a strawberry centre". When I asked her what the fuck that was even meant to mean, she giggled and said something about how I was an absolute bitch to everyone except Demyx, locked in a permanent state of PMS but secretly very in love. And at the time I'd told her to take a long walk off a short pier, but actually, she was right.

"Zexy, where's Mr Leonhart?" Demyx mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist under my jacket. I kissed the side of his head, glaring at some of the bitchier girls who were whispering about Demyx and I. "I hope he doesn't show up."

"I hope so too," I told him quietly. "Demyx, you know I really love you, don't you?"  
>"Yeah, I know."<p>

"You know that whatever happens, whatever your sister and Xigbar and everyone say, I really care about you and want you to be happy?"

"I _know_, okay, Zexy?" If anyone else called me Zexy then I would throw a book at them, but this was _Demyx_. I couldn't really get mad at him if I tried. "I love you too. A whole lot. And I'm sorry about messing with your head and hanging around with Xigbar, but it's just... I don't know, I like him too, and I... I don't know."  
>"Don't sweat it. I'll love you however many times Larxene finds you two holding hands at an ice cream parlour." Demyx almost looked awake when I said that. I don't think he realised just how much people were gossiping about him. "Seriously, though. I could never just... just let you go. Even if I went to uni at Traverse I would still visit you all the time."<p>

"It'd be expensive," Demyx yawned, squeezing me around the waist slightly. "I'd come visit you too, you know. Only I might have to bring Meg and Rox. Can't really trust them on their own."

"You mean you'd get totally lost without them," I said quietly, running my fingers through his hair and taking a moment to stick the middle one up at the girls who were all still fucking whispering. They at least tried not to be as obvious now. "You wouldn't run off and get married to Xigbar with me gone, would you?" It wasn't exactly very likely, but you never know with Demyx. And I didn't trust Xigbar as far as I could throw him.

"Of course not. I mean, I really do like him... but I really like you as well."

"Do you love him?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

He paused. "Yes, Zexion, I do. But don't be jealous, okay?" Jealous? Me? Nah, just filled to the brim with rage at the idea of you liking anyone who isn't me. "I love you as well."

"But you don't really know who you love more," I concluded, suddenly noticing my hand on his thigh. He had really nice legs, I had noticed that. Still, taking advantage of him being half-asleep felt even worse than taking advantage of him being just plain slow (not unintelligent in the slightest, don't get me wrong, just a bit on the slow side) so I slid my hand up to his lower back instead.

"Zexy, please don't be mad at me." Wait, when the fuck did I seem mad at him? "I didn't mean to fall in love with both of you, it just... happened."

"I'm not mad, Demyx, I promise."

"You broke your pencil in half when he said he loved Xigbar," came a helpful female voice from behind us. "And now you're using the broken pencil to gouge a hole in the cover of your notebook."

"Thank you, Ella, you can fuck off now," I ground out. Demyx lifted his head off my shoulder to look at me, his eyes wide and tinted with something almost like fear. "You okay, babe?"

He half-smiled. "It's really cute when you call me babe, you know. And I'm fine. Just... don't be mad. Please. I never meant to upset anybody –"

"I'm not mad at you." I'm mad at our cunt of an English teacher who managed not only to seduce you but also to win over your mildly psychopathic sister to the point where she hates me and more often than not conspires with Larxene about when and where you were last seen with Xigbar. "I'm just... having a rough time at the moment."

"I'm sorry."

I snorted. "The fuck are you sorry for? You're the best thing in my life right now, Demyx. I don't know where I would be without your beautiful smile and your goofy hair."

"My hair isn't goofy," he protested sleepily, drawing his legs up to him and resting his feet on his chair. "You're the one who goes around with one eye covered all the time."

"There's a reason for that."

Demyx was silent for so long that I thought he might have drifted off to sleep on my shoulder, but no, he was just thinking. He's actually a pretty thoughtful person when you get down to it. "I always kinda thought there might be, but I didn't wanna say..."

"It was just a car accident." It was my mother's second suicide attempt. I think she actually forgot I was in the car too. "You seem to have a thing for one-eyed people, don't you?"

"Says the guy with the thing for ditzy blondes," Ella chimed in, at the very worst moment as per usual, gesturing to her own blonde hair.

"Shut up, Ella, Demyx isn't ditzy, his mind is just on higher things than yours," I snapped, and she just flipped me off and went back to reading New Scientist. "Seriously, though, Demyx, don't worry your pretty head about it. It was nothing. I was only seven at the time and I barely remember it, and I mean, I can _see_ out of this eye," I pointed to it even though his gorgeous eyes were half-closed, "but it just looks a little messy."

"I bet it's still beautiful," Demyx whispered, twisting his head so he could kiss my cheek. I held his chin in place and kissed him on the lips, those adorable pink lips that should have been mine and mine only –

"Zexion, Demyx, carry on any longer and you'll be in detention." Demyx and I sprung apart like we were both wounded and turned to see Leonhart towering over us. "There's a rule against public displays of affection and it applies to gay couples as well as straight ones."

"Technically they aren't a couple."

"_Thank_ you, Ella, that's _enough_," I snarled, removing myself from Demyx and taking out my History textbook. "Honestly, I don't know why I put up with you..."

"It's because I look a little bit like Demyx, that's what it is." The class settled down and I was hoping that Ella would shut up, but _no_. "Secretly your brain compares me to him all the time. You think I'm just an inferior version of your boyfriend."

"Could you please psychoanalyse Zexion in your own time, Miss Johnson?" Mr Leonhart snapped, beginning to write notes up on the board. For once I was grateful that he was such a grouchy bastard. I locked ankles with Demyx again and started writing, smiling at him when he started doodling in the margin of his page. Mostly flowers and cats and the occasional bunny rabbit.

At least I didn't have to worry much about him turning out to be straight.

xxx

So hopefully that clears up the issue of Zexion being a dickbag. I never thought he was a bad person, just a bit snobby, and very horny, but who wouldn't be when Demyx is involved? I'm just kidding, by the way. I don't fancy Demyx. I much prefer Xigbar. And Axel. And everyone in the Organization besides Demyx, for the sole reason that he reminds me of my younger brother so you know... it's creepy.

I need to tell you guys something important, by the way. If all goes according to plan, this fic will be finished soonish. I think I'm, like, two thirds of the way through? Then I'll go on a short break to write a certain something beginning with "S" and ending in "equel" and possibly start a new chaptered fic as well, since A million munny is also drawing to a close in the next few months (my schedule and internet connection permitting) and then you will have to read more of my godawful fanfiction. *Evil laughter* I need sleep. Night you guys, loves to you all, and don't forget to use the shiny review box down below ;D


	31. Chapter 31

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

"Does Axel ever _not_ have his hands all over you?"

"Is he good in bed?"

"Are those _lovebites?"_

"When did you realise you were gay?"

"Are you only gay because Demyx is?"

"Is Megan a lesbian? Does it, like, run in the family or something?"

"Selphie, you idiot, they're adopted! Is it because Megan's such a psycho? Has she put you off girls for life?"

"Megan is the only reason I _do_ like girls. So how long have you and Axel been together?"

"Do you think about him when you masturbate?"

"You guys, enough is enough." I never thought I would be so grateful to see Olette. "Can't you see that he's trying to make a pot? Give him some _breathing_ space, at the very least."

"Thanks for that," I muttered, returning to the pot I was attempting to mould into submission. Olette smiled brightly at me.

"You've never been cornered by girls like that before, huh?" I shook my head. "You probably did the best thing, not talking to them. I would have thrown clay at them if they'd been talking about my boyfriend like that."

"You have a boyfriend?" I tried to sound surprised. I really wasn't. Olette had had more boyfriends than I had had socks. And I have owned quite a few socks.

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone, all right? His name is Johnny, and he goes to Traverse University." She looked so pleased to have landed herself a university guy that I decided not to be the one to explain that it was paedophilia. "I know what you're thinking, Roxas, but he's only a year older than me. I got held back in fourth grade, remember? And he got into university early because he's really smart. Like _really_ smart." I wanted to advise her not to twirl her hair in her fingers after handling clay, but I couldn't bring myself to shatter her lovesick little bubble. "I'm so in love with him. I think he's really the one."

"That's what you say every time," I pointed out. "You said it when you were with Hayner, when you had a crush on Pence –"

"Oh, I've been meaning to talk to you about Pence." I winced as she sat down next to me and began working on her own project. "You know how he was completely and utterly in love with you?"

"Don't remind me. I feel awful about it."

"Well, you know Yuffie..."

I nearly dropped my knife. "_No_. No _way_. I thought Pence was gay? I really hope he's gay, considering he liked me..."

Olette laughed and shrugged. "I don't know, he mumbled something about bisexuality and hormones and curiosity, then went back to describing the moonlit ice cream he'd shared with Yuffie." I sniggered in spite of myself. "I know! I don't know whether they're cute or just plain weird together, but at least he's happy now."

"Yeah, I'm glad of that. He's probably the nicest guy I know, if you don't count Demyx. Speaking of whom, any news?" Olette was always a great source of news when it came to things like this. It was even better now that she was bosom buddies with Zexion's best friend Ella, because she could get all the information she needed and more with nothing but a cute smile and the occasional cupcake.

"Well, you see..." Olette now had her story-telling voice on, crafting clay much more easily than me because apart from anything else, she had skinny little girl fingers and I had stubby burnt ones. (Do _not _ask how they got burnt.) "Zexion has been offered a place at a university. Traverse, to be exact."

"Traverse? _Really_? Fuck, nobody tells me anything." I swore under my breath as a lump of my pot slid off the top and landed on the table with a soft, wet splat. "Wait, isn't Traverse..."

"Really far away, yeah. As in, _really_ far away. And Zexion's still trying to decide whether or not to go. Ella says that unless Demyx actually makes a decision either way, Zexion's going to hang around and try and convince him."

"Make a decision either way about what?"

Olette bit her lip. "Um, didn't you already know? We all did Rock Paper Scissors and Axel lost, so he was meant to tell you _days_ ago..."

"Meant to tell me what? Does Dem have a second boyfriend or some shit?" Somehow I couldn't see why this was such a big deal, but Olette looked as if she was expecting me to flip my lid any second now. "C'mon, Olette, you can tell me."

"Yeah, well, um, Demyx is _rumoured_ to be seeing this... this older guy."

"How much older?" I asked quietly, beginning to see why she had been reluctant to tell me. Demyx was not the sort of person you'd want hanging out with an older guy. Demyx wasn't the sort of person you'd want hanging out with _anyone _without direct supervision, really, but especially not older guys, because older guys were more demanding, more aggressive, and more manipulative. (Axel is older than me. Just thought I'd point that out.)

"Quite a bit. I mean, apparently he's really nice and everything, just, you know... a lot older."

"I need a number, Olette. What is he? Twenty? Twenty-one? I can take it, go on."

She closed her eyes like that would help her to break the news somehow. "Well, uh, how old is Xigbar?"

I really did drop my knife this time. "Are you fucking _kidding_ me?"

I wasn't even sure whether she meant Xigbar's age, or whether she was talking about Xigbar himself. Either way I was very deeply disturbed. And when you grow up with someone like Megan, you learn quite quickly to turn all your leftover emotions like envy and disappointment and disturbedness into anger. Totally unhealthy, don't get me wrong, and a habit I was trying to get out of, but it came in handy now and again.

Now was not the right time to explode, though. I was in Ceramics, making a pot, and Axel was at the nurse's office having his left foot seen to because I had maybe sort of accidentally broken it a little bit. Still, it was nothing Aeris couldn't fix with a Hi-Potion, and he was due back to class any second now. I took a deep breath. "So... Zexion is probably gonna stay, then?"

"Unless Demyx tells him that he's totally not interested, or that he wants to be with Zexion forever and ever and never mind anyone else..." Forget anyone else. Demyx really did not need a boyfriend who was, I dunno, a _decade_ older than him. "I don't really know, Roxas. Demyx would be really upset if Zexion left, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah, he would," I said quietly, pensively. "What do you think about the whole thing with Megan and Seifer?"

"As far as I'm concerned, there is no thing with Megan and Seifer." Olette reached over and started shaping my pot a little more for me, knowing that I was struggling because of my burned-up fingers. "I stand firmly in the camp of Megan and Naminé."

"They're both _straight_, Olette," I laughed, batting her hands away from my pot because I'd rather fail honourably than let her earn me a pass. "Besides, Naminé is in what I'm told is an adorable and very loving relationship with this guy Luxord, and Megan wouldn't go out with someone if you paid her."

Olette smirked. "You say that, but did you hear about her and that William guy?"

"Wait, what?"

She nodded sagely, brown eyes glinting with that typical "I-know-something-you-don't-know" sheen. "William, in Demyx's grade. Apparently they had a small fling about a month ago, and she didn't tell anyone because she didn't want them to get ideas or some shit, but the gist of it was that they kissed a few times, she got sick of him and they fell apart."

"Huh, I never knew that. Seifer wouldn't be happy."

"_Naminé _wouldn't be, that's the thing. Whether or not you ship them, you've gotta admit –"

"Roxie!" I jolted slightly and looked up from my pot, smiling in spite of myself when Axel strolled into the classroom with a huge smile on his face. "Aeris fixed my foot, don't worry your pretty head about it." He grabbed himself a lump of clay, kissed me on the nose, and started moulding, twisting, working a whole lot faster than I was able to. "What were you two talking about?"

"Megan and Naminé," Olette said plainly. "They like each other, don't they, Axel?"

"Nah, Naminé has that Luxord guy, and Megan's still into Seifer whether she likes it or not." Out of the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye, clearly wanting to know that he had said the right thing. I bumped his knee with mine and nodded once, as subtly as I could, and saw him relax. "Aw, Roxie, are your fingers burnt? I didn't really notice that last night..."

I scowled at him, then at Olette, who was smirking into her pot. "Fuck off, you know they got burned and you know exactly how."

"How?" Olette asked, and Axel grinned evilly.

"You _dare_ tell her..." I growled, my scowl intensifying when Axel slipped an arm around my waist, his hand dipping into my back pocket.

"Well, you see, Olette..." he began, "Roxie didn't realise quite how warm I was when he was –"

"Shut _up_," I spat, "or you aren't getting any for a week."

He suddenly shifted back into pouting-and-whining mode. "I'm sorry, Roxie. You know I love you."

"Fucking act like it then," I muttered, jabbing viciously at my pot because at this point I had given up on producing anything worthy of more than a D. Axel immediately cottoned on to the fact that I was pissed off and started stroking my hair with the hand that wasn't covered in wet clay.

"You okay, gorgeous?" he asked quietly. I shook my head, sighed, and took my hands away from the pot before I completely demolished it. "What's wrong?"

"Roxas has a bee in his bonnet because I told him the rumour that's going around about Demyx. And because it's really hard to make a pot with burns like that on your hands." Olette pushed her hair out of her eyes, smearing clay onto her forehead in the process. Had I not been so pissed off, I would have laughed at her, but as it was I just kept my eyes on my failed attempt at a Ceramics project and scowled. "So how exactly _did_ your hands get burnt like that, Roxas?"

I scowled at her. "You have clay on your forehead."

She giggled and wiped it off with her sleeve, then went back to her pot. "Okay, okay, I won't ask. You know Hayner's gonna make comments about it, though."

"Hayner's a dick," I muttered, leaning into Axel slightly. He smiled at me and I forced a smile back.

"By the way, Rox, your sister..." Axel sounded kind of worried now. "Apparently she's got a huge bruise on the back of her head."

"You don't think Demyx..."

"I don't know. She wouldn't admit it if you asked, either. She wants everyone to think that she can cope on her own, but if she can't even take care of Demyx..." Axel sighed. "You know my opinion about all of this."

"I'm not leaving Meg or Dem, Axel, and you know it." I sighed too and he kissed me on the side of my head, exactly where it had collided with his bedframe last night. There was still a small purple bruise there and you could tell that Axel felt at least a tiny bit guilty about it. "I love you."

"I love you too, Roxie."

"AWW!"

"Fuck off, Olette," I said, turning away so that she couldn't see my enormous smile.

**Xigbar**

As usual I was literally on the edge of my seat waiting for Demyx to come into my classroom. When he did arrive, he was with Zexion, which kind of ruined my day, and looked half-asleep.

"His sister made him take an extra dose of his sleeping medication last night," Zexion said quietly, as Demyx wandered past me and curled up on my chair. _N'aww._ "Look after him."

I nodded, and there was a moment in which we almost didn't want to kill each other, but it passed by incredibly quickly and I slammed the door in his face before turning my attention to the exhausted blonde in my chair.

"You okay, Dem?" I asked quietly, putting a hand on his. He was cold, which was rather worrying, and barely able to keep his eyes open.

"Yeah, I am," he mumbled, lacing his fingers through mine and half-smiling. "Just sleepy."

"How come Megan made you take an extra sleepy pill last night?"

He shrugged. "Dad was yelling and I got upset and wouldn't go to sleep. I don't really remember much. I think he tried to strangle me." I sucked in a breath, my entire body seeming to go cold at the thought of Demyx being strangled... Demyx being _killed_... "Megan saved me."

I have never liked Megan more than I did in that moment, at the news that she saved my DemDem. "But you're okay?" I asked again, sitting on the arm of my chair and stroking his cheek. He smiled sleepily and moved a little closer to me.

"I'm fine, Xiggy, don't worry."

There was a loud crash on the other side of the room and I looked over to see a chair upside-down, Larxene practically spitting fire, and Xion's mouth bleeding. "Xion, go see Aeris. Larxene, don't throw any more chairs."

Xion was close to tears. "B-But... all I said was... I just said that I was surprised that she's keeping the baby..."

"What baby?" asked William, looking up from his Gameboy for the first time that day.

"I'm pregnant, _okay_? Someone _impregnated_ me while I was _drunk_. Can we please _drop_ it now?"

"Xion, nurse. Larxene, come over here." Larxene scowled but stomped over to Demyx and I, nearly knocking Xion over. "Look, I know you're upset."

"Me, upset? Hmph, hardly." She looked pretty damn upset. I noticed Demyx fighting to sit up properly and put a hand on his shoulder until he settled back down. "I just don't need stupid bitches like _her_ making comments about my maternal skills, that's all."

I shrugged. "Either way, throwing chairs at people is not a good idea. It doesn't get you friends, it doesn't get you respect –"

"It makes people leave me the fuck alone. That's all I want." She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Is this the part where you put me in detention or some shit?"

"Larxene, you know me, I never give out detentions because then I have to give up an hour of my time to watch miserable kids writing lines. Just... calm down, okay?"

Demyx kept his eyes closed but added, "If it helps, you still look exactly the same. I had no idea you were pregnant."

Larxene's left eyebrow shot up. "Uh... okay?"

I swear to God she almost smiled as she stormed across the classroom.

"How do people get pregnant?" Demyx asked.

"Um... I don't know. Ask your sister."

"Why would my sister know?" he asked, yawning mid-sentence.

I sighed. "Because she is Megan and Megan knows everything. Now, how about you get some sleep?"

"If I have to." He slipped his thumb into his mouth and fell asleep in seconds. I grinned down at him, realised I looked like an absolute pedo, and went off on an adventure to the other side of the room to "teach" (and by that I mean argue with the kids about literature and football and so on.)

Demyx woke up when the bell rang and I took it upon myself to escort him to the cafeteria so that he could get lunch. He spent the entire journey there leaning against me with his arm around his waist, babbling semi-coherently about how he was going to need his sitar restrung soon and when he became a famous sitarist he would have people to do things like that for him and he couldn't wait for that day to arrive. I just nodded along, eager to keep him happy, until we arrived in the absolutely _packed _cafeteria and got ambushed by Marluxia, who wanted to bitch about Vexen. As usual. Something to do with a cat interrupting their date or some shit, I don't know. I nodded along like a bobblehead until he spotted Naminé on her own (which was odd, now that I think about it – usually Megan doesn't let her out of her sight during lunchtimes) and latched onto her instead. I thanked the gods above and found Demyx and myself an empty table, sitting him down first, and threaded my fingers through his. He smiled, starting to wake up a little now that we were surrounded by people, and I smiled too because I couldn't _not_ smile, because this was Demyx with his fingers locked around mine and no matter what happened, he was always going to be able to make me smile.

"Sorry about being so sleepy today, I know I'm not exactly great company..."

"You're great company no matter what, Dem," I told him, trying not to notice when he yawned oh so _cutely_, his nose wrinkled up and his mouth wide open. "You are okay, right?"

"Yeah, I am. Oh, hey, Megan." Megan slid into the seat next to me, more or less uninvited, but I didn't really mind because she had apparently saved Demyx's life last night. (In all honesty I wouldn't have minded anyway. She is actually a pretty nice girl when you get down to it.) "You okay?"

"Yeah, Dem, I'm fine." I looked her once over. She was the least fine I'd ever seen her, and that was really saying something. There was a rather sizeable bruise on the back of her head, what looked like a bite mark on her left hand, circles beneath her eyes and a sort of greenish tint to her cheeks, like she was mere moments from passing out. "How are you?"

"I'm great, don't worry. Had Yuffie looking after me in Chemistry, Zexion during History and Xiggy in English and now." He smiled brightly at me. "Where's Nami? I saw her a minute ago..."

"Oh, she's with Marly," Megan said, gesturing vaguely in the direction of somewhere that wasn't here. "Yeah, um, it's a bit weird between me and her now."

"How come?" I asked, deciding I should at least pretend to be concerned. Really, they were teenage girls. They were bound to fight, and they were also bound to make up.

"Because I asked her brother to pick something up from the pharmacy for me, and I refused to tell her what it was and why I needed it," Megan said dully, sipping her orange juice. She didn't appear to have any food with her. "I just kinda hope that things'll be okay by tonight because I'm staying at hers."

"Say hi to Cloud for me!" Demyx almost squeaked. I looked at him questioningly and he blushed. "Um... Cloud's, well, he's a nice guy..."

"He's _adorable_," Megan grinned, "and I think he's straight. Sorry, Dem, but I think I have dibs."

Demyx pouted. "If he's straight, how come you and Nami were talking about setting him up with Mr Leonhart?"

I had to laugh at that. "Leonhart? As in Squall Leonhart? Um, no, he's straight."

"And you would know this how?" Megan asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I sputtered indignantly. "Not in the way you're thinking, you gutter-minded –"

"Oh, you know I'm charming."

Demyx was pouting at me. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Megan asked, the smile falling off her face faster than it had appeared there.

"Don't talk about Xigbar and Leonhart like that. I don't wanna even think about..."

"You talk about Zex in front of Xigbar," Megan pointed out. He just hung his head and went quiet, and I scowled at her. She completely ignored this. "Hey, Xigbar?"

"What?" I snapped, as Demyx got up with a mumble about buying himself an ice cream.

"Could you have Dem round yours tonight? Dad's still a bit, um, psycho, so I'm staying at Nami's and Rox can probably get away with another night at Axel's before Axel's parents start getting suspicious..."

I winced. "I'd absolutely love to, but the thing is that I live in a teensy apartment that literally just has a double bed, a titchy bathroom and a kitchen, if you could call it that..."

"You're telling me that if Dem was to sleep over at your place, he would have to share a bed with you." Her voice was completely flat and her face completely void of expression, so I couldn't tell at all what she was thinking.

"Well... yeah..."

She bit her lip. "I'm going to pretend that you didn't tell me that. Just be sensible. I'll come pick him up at seven."

My jaw dropped. "You mean – I – me and him –"

"You accept his limitations, you adhere to his boundaries, you make him breakfast. I'm trusting you, okay?" I nodded, my head suddenly full of Demyx-related fantasies. I mean, um, puppies and rainbows. "Don't look like you've just won the lottery. He's a real handful when he can't sleep."

"Okay," I said hoarsely. She just shook her head at me and took her leave, and I was left to sit there and grin to myself like an idiot.

"Hey." Demyx sat down opposite me, tearing open a popsicle.

"Hey, Dem. You're gonna stay at my place tonight, is that okay?" From what Megan had said there was nothing much we could do if it _wasn't_ okay, but I still felt the need to ask.

"Yeah, that's great." He perked up quite a bit at that. "Thanks, Xiggy."

"My pleasure." Okay, why did he have to choose a popsicle? _Why_? I was trying really hard to be thoughtful and mature about this, but he was making it so hard. (Haha, making it so hard, that's surprisingly apt given the situation.) "I love you, you know."

"I love you too," he smiled, his tongue sliding up and down the popsicle and – _anyway. _Ignore me. I wasn't paying it that much attention, honestly. "Where'd Meg go?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Why?"

"I wanted to ask her how people get pregnant. And how long Larxene is gonna be pregnant for before she has her baby. And stuff like that." He looked so unsure of himself sometimes, it was _adorable. _"I know that guys can't get pregnant and girls can, and I know that pregnancy lasts about nine months, but I don't know how you get pregnant or where the baby comes out or anything." He shrugged. "I doubt that that information will actually come in handy at any point, but you know…"

"You're still curious." I nodded. "Listen, Dem, I should probably get back to my room now, I've got your sister's class next, so…"

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

I tried to keep the paedophilic smiling to a minimum at the thought of taking _Demyx_ of all people home with me. "Yeah, that's fine. Love you."

"Love you too, Xiggy." He was still working on that ice cream, his tongue all over it... Fuck. I wasn't going to be able to look Megan in the eye now, was I?

xxx

So... Xigbar and Demyx having a sleepover... Wish Xigbar luck. He will need it. *insert evil laughter here*

I feel really ill. I went to see an open-air performance of Romeo And Juliet today with my class, since we're doing it in out exams next year, and it's the whole school play next year as well. It was fantastic, and I'm pretty certain which part I'd want to play if I actually got cast as something decent (usually my school only cast the pretty people as the leads, though, and/or the children of teachers) but I was kind of ill before I went and that certainly didn't help.

Anyway, enough of my inane drivel. Anybody have any thoughts on any of this? Drop me a review because I'm an attention whore – I mean, um, so I can improve my writing.


	32. Chapter 32

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

"Megan... you look _awful_."

I swallowed. "Fuck off." My voice was dry and quiet, and I couldn't look Xigbar in the eye (this is where you laugh and mock him because he only has one eye).

"Megan, look at me."

I shook my head and turned further away from him, my eyes fixed on the stormy sky through the window. "Go teach your class. I'm fine."

"Megan –"

"_Go_." I wasn't angry, I was just desperate, and I think he picked up on that because he went back to his desk, making some sort of motion to the guy behind me to keep an eye on me. (More eye jokes because I am Megan and therefore a remorseless bitch on her way to hell.)

"Megan." I shook my head. "Megan, it's me. Remember me?"

"Yes, Lexaeus, I do." I sighed heavily. "Leave me alone."

"You couldn't hurt me." It's a statement, nothing more and nothing less, and I know that it's true. We all know it's true. "I only got back to school today, you know."

"And Xigbar is already ruining your day by making you babysit me," I muttered. I heard him shuffle a little closer to me. "You know that nobody blames you for what happened."

"Only because you, Kairi, Xigbar and Marluxia are the only people who know it was me." He coughed. "Thanks, by the way."

"What for?"

"Not telling anyone. I just... if it got out that I... I never even meant to, and –"

"I know, Lex. I know everything that happened, remember? You thought that she was someone else. You thought she was your sister, and when she came near you, you just got scared." I swallowed. "It could happen to any of us."

"No, because most people aren't _stupid_ enough to carry a knife with them –"

"You weren't stupid. Stop it." I didn't mean to sound so sharp, but I was starting to see frightening parallels between me and Lexaeus. "Kairi forgives you completely, you know."

"I know, and that makes it worse because it just shows how pure she is –"

"It was not your fault. You had a knife in your hand and you thought she was going to hurt you, so you reacted. Even _Demyx_ would have done that."

Lexaeus sat down on the radiator next to me, ignoring the way that it creaked under his weight, and looked me dead in the eye. Months away from school and intensive counselling had left him looking more than a little bit like a complete recluse, paler than he was and with shadows underneath his eyes that suggested he hadn't been sleeping. "Odd that you should say that. I was talking to Marluxia about Demyx this morning. He isn't as gentle as they'd have you think, is he?" I winced. "But he's just scared."

"Yeah." I pushed some hair behind my ear. "Um..."

"You look exhausted."

"You do too."

There was a silence in which I suddenly remembered that actually, Lex and I had been pretty good friends before he decided to completely remove himself from society because of one rash decision in a dark alley. We had always been fairly quiet when we hung out, and he had always paid for the food and I had always brought my MP3 player with the headphone splitters so that we could both have two earphones in. Naminé had been under the impression that we were a couple.

Hey, wait a minute. So had Seifer. _That_'s why Lexaeus and I had stopped hanging out. It had nothing to do with the Kairi incident.

"Lex, you know that I didn't stop talking to you because of what happened with Kairi, right?" I said quietly, reaching into my pocket and toying with the memory stick in there. That memory stick was home to three hundred songs of questionable origin (illegally downloaded, in other words) and a few essays.

"Well then why?"

"Seifer got pissed."

There was another silence. All of our silences together were comfortable, except this one. This one was troubled, thoughtful, stinging as we both realised that we had missed each other.

"He's a dick. Are you two..."

"No." I laughed. "I had a bitchfit at him earlier, actually. He keeps drunk-dialling me and shit and it's just driving me _nuts_."

"So are you single?" Now before anyone jumps to any conclusions, Lexaeus likes dudes. And unless I've missed something big, I am not a dude.

"Yeah, I am. The rumours are still going around about me and Nami." I leaned my head on the window, gritting my teeth at the sudden coldness. "She's upset with me at the moment."

"Why?"

"I asked her brother to buy me something and she wants to know what it was."

He looked at me steadily. "Tell me what it was."

"It was..." I bit my lip. "You know, um, the morning-after pill?"

"Seifer?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder to check that Seifer was nowhere around.

"No, not Seifer. Nobody I actually would... um... anyway, I wouldn't want to with Seifer... I wouldn't want to at all..."

"Megan?" I looked up, my mumbling cut short. "Tell me who raped you."

The _r_ word made it all come crashing in on me and I slid off the radiator, pushed through the clump of people near the door, and fell into the girls' bathroom, figuring I had left Lexaeus behind in Xigbar's classroom.

I hadn't.

"Megan? Megan, come on, come out..." He sighed. "Fine. Be like that."

He actually came into the girls' room. He was standing two steps into the doorway and looked like he was going to _cry._ I nearly cried as well, my eyes tingling and my chest restricting on me.

"Megan, tell me who hurt you."

"My dad." My jaw kept moving in and out of its socket. "He... he was drunk, and I hit him with a frying pan because he was going to kill my brother, and Roxas was at Axel's house so he was safe but Demyx was doped up on sleeping pills and I had to keep Dad away from his room and –"

"Okay, Megan, breathe. First, who's Axel?"

That mindblowingly simple question somehow hit me too hard. "You... you don't know who _Axel _is... oh, God, Lexaeus, why did you leave me on my own for so damn long?"

He sighed. "Megan, I didn't mean to, and you had Naminé –"

"Who I had to _look after_! Everyone needs me, Roxas and Demyx and Naminé and even fucking Larxene and Xigbar and Xion and people I didn't even know existed until recently, they all _needed_ me. You were... you didn't."

"Okay. So, who's Axel?"

He has this thing about not talking very much.

"Roxas's boyfriend. He's kind of hard to miss. Tall, skinny, red hair, little tattoos on his face... and he talks to fire."

"Oh, yeah, I remember you mentioning that. How are you doing with it?"

I sighed. "Well, I can do _some_ stuff, but not much. Anyway. So my dad, um, did that..."

"You need me to step in?"

I bit my lip. "Now, Lexaeus, no more stabbing, okay?"

He started laughing. "You are _such_ a bitch sometimes."

When we had sort of settled down a bit, me leaning against a sink and him with his back against the wall, he frowned. "Is Zexion still single?"

"No, um... he's got something going on with Demyx. They're not a proper couple or anything, but –"

"Hang on, _Demyx_? I thought Demyx had a thing with Xigbar? That's what Xigbar told me..."

"He has a thing for both of them," I said. "I'm really hoping that he picks Xigbar. Apart from anything else, Zexion has a place at Traverse next year..."

"Shit! Really?" I nodded. "Wow, that's... huh. And it goes without saying that Roxas is taken as well?"

"Yeah, I _just _told you about Axel and – wait a sec. You and... _ew!_" Lexaeus shrugged and grinned sheepishly at me. "He's _tiny_, though!"

"Zexion isn't big either. Hmm... what about Rai?"

"I'm pretty sure Rai likes girls." I paused. "And he would have to top."

"Oh, I'm not having that." I laughed. "Um... William?"

"Straight. At least, I hope so."

"Wait... why?"

I grinned. "So Marly didn't tell you that I dated Will for a bit."

"No, he didn't. Well, that's cute, I guess. I take it you dumped him?"

"It was kinda mutual," I lied, because I didn't want it to be common knowledge that I kicked poor innocent William to the kerb when I got sick of him. I felt really bad about it. "Anyway, keep saying names."

"Xaldin?"

I was silent for the longest time, suddenly incapable of speech. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"Yes, I am. Your brother is the only one who goes for the whole English teacher thing."

I shrugged. "Well, you know that Marluxia goes for the whole Chem teacher thing, right?"

"Oh, yeah, I did." Lexaeus frowned again. He frowned a lot more often than he smiled. "How come you never visited me?"

"I did! Your foster parents turned me away, said you weren't having visitors, and I figured you hated me or something because I wasn't there that night when your sister –"

"How the _fuck_ could anyone hate _you_? You're so... so..."

"Megan." It was the only word that accurately described me. "Yeah, well."

Lexaeus thought some more. You could almost hear his brain whirring. "So... all the good-looking guys are straight or taken. Typical."

"That's what you get for hiding from civilisation for months on end."

"Is Hayner still kicking the doors of the closet?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "You're _still_ insisting that he's gay?"

"How could anyone that homophobic be straight? It's all a cover-up. And you know I like blondes."

"Nami's boyfriend is blonde."

"Oh, she's got a boyfriend? Shit, no one mentioned it. So she's still in the closet too?"

"Not everyone is as queer as you, Lex. Although I do seem to have a disproportionate amount of gay friends."

"Twilight has the highest number of openly gay or bisexual people at the moment, you know." I nodded. I already knew that. When I was six or seven and I realised that the biggest word to describe Demyx was _gay_, I looked up a bunch of statistics about it. The one thing that disturbed me, and has worried me ever since, is the number of suicides due to homophobia. Which is one of the many reasons for my over-protectiveness.

"We should probably get back to class. And you need to get out of the girls' bathroom because being gay doesn't excuse you from bathroom segregation."

Lexaeus chuckled. "Yeah, let's get back to Xigbar's classroom."

We left the bathroom with a spring in our step (there was practically a fucking earthquake because Lexaeus is not a light boy) and I had to wonder why I had never realised that actually, I really missed him.

**Marluxia**

"So you think that Megan was..."

"Yeah, I do." Naminé crossed her legs, sipping her warm water (she was having a shit day and wouldn't even drink tea) and shaking slightly.

"Okay. Leave it with me. I'm not going to do anything sudden because that'll make it worse, and I really don't want to uproot their whole family at the moment, so..."

"Maybe they need it. They're not going to leave on their own, they're too scared of being separated..."

"I know, Nami." Believe me, I knew. About three times a week I had Demyx in my office in tears at the thought of something pulling him away from his siblings. "But Demyx is a bit fragile at the moment, what with Zexion thinking about going to Traverse University..."

"And if he's fragile, he doesn't need Megan getting beat up all over the place and... and _that_ happening to her..." Naminé sighed. "I'm so worried about all three of them, Marly."

"We all are. I've had, erm..." I started counting. "Three other people in here today alone to talk to me about them."

"Which three people?"

I decided that Naminé was as trustworthy as anyone else, and anyway, I had never really promised to keep it completely confidential. "Xigbar, mostly about Demyx, Axel about Roxas and Megan, and Lexaeus –"

"Lexy's back? Oh my God, why didn't anyone _tell_ me?"

"We didn't want there to be too much of a fuss about him being gone for so long." I tried to remember the lie we had fed Naminé about Lexaeus's disappearance. Nobody had actually asked about him except Xigbar and Megan, and Lexaeus had only given me permission to tell those two. I had lied to Naminé (at Megan's request) and given some bullshit about a broken limb of some kind to all of his teachers, telling them all that he would catch up with his work as soon as he got out of traction. They swallowed it instantly, because why would I lie to them? I was completely trustworthy. Honest.

"Didn't anyone even ask where he was, though?" Naminé asked, blue, naïve eyes fixed on me like she really didn't know. I mean, of course she didn't know why he wasn't in school, but...

"Nami, you and Megan were his only friends."

"We were? Why? He's a lovely guy..."

"Did he ever tell you what was going on at home?" I asked, drinking most of my tea and grabbing a biscuit. I shouldn't have skipped breakfast, but I'd woken up in Vexen's bed and wanted to get the hell out of there before he woke up because he was moody as fuck first thing in the morning.

"No, he didn't. I saw some bruises, but he and Megan were very quick to explain them away. At the time I thought it was because they were from sex..."

"He's _gay_." I sighed. "Honestly, I thought that you of all people would be able to tell..."

"Yeah, well, Seifer had a problem with Lex, so I kind of assumed that there was something going on. And he and Meg always acted like a couple, so..."

"Megan acts like that with a lot of people, though," I told her, raising my eyebrows and waiting for her to catch on. She didn't. Really, I could understand why people whispered about "Megan-and-Naminé" and elbowed each other when they walked past together. "Maybe she's just really cuddly when you get past the spikes and flames."

"And maybe I'm an equilateral triangle," Naminé quipped, and we both giggled. "So... how are you and Vexen?"

"_Great_," I said emphatically, resisting the urge to flap my hands and squee like some sort of gay man. Oh, wait a second. "He keeps throwing bitchfits whenever I try to pay for things."

"I think that might be Xigbar's fault, I overheard them talking about semes always paying for the food." Naminé tapped her heels together. "Lux and I have fallen out."

"Oh? What's up, hun?" More often than not Nami wants to talk about Megan and her problems, and sometimes me and my problems, and we don't actually talk too much about her eating disorder or her depression or her boyfriend. In all honesty I think Megan is better at taking care of that than I am, but I was supposed to at least ask questions and nod condescendingly.

"Well, I was talking about how worried I was about Megan, and he got all upset because he thinks that I like Meg more than I like him. I did point out that I like penises and everything, but he feels really threatened by her."

"Threatened? By Megan? Gosh, how unusual." Naminé laughed and I noticed just how starved her cheekbones looked. "In all seriousness, though, tell him to man the fuck up. If he can't deal with you having a best friend who cares about you, something's going wrong."

She nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's just that I can't look after her all on my own..."

"You shouldn't _have_ to, Naminé. You can always come to me, okay? Or Xigbar or someone. By the way, guess whose place Demyx is staying at tonight?"

She grinned. "I know, yeah. I can't believe that Megan's allowing it. I mean, it was one thing with Zexion because his parents were around, but Xigbar's a grown up –"

"I wouldn't call me a grown up, really." I turned to see Xigbar, who had apparently appeared out of nowhere. "I came to drop off some paperwork and have a quick word with you about Dem."

"Ugh, _again_? Why don't you go complain to, I don't know, Zexion?"

Naminé giggled. "I would pay to watch that conversation."

"Okay, look, I don't have much time. I've just had a letter through, and I've been offered a job at another school. I –"

"Don't take it." We both looked at Nami like she had started a conga line all on her own. "If you want even a little bit of a chance with Demyx, you've gotta stay here. Especially if Zexion decides to go to Twilight Uni instead of Traverse."

"But the thing is, it pays better –" Xigbar began, sounding almost pleading. Again Naminé interrupted him.

"So you'll be able to buy cats to fill the void in your life that Demyx used to be in. Nice. Look, do not take that job. Demyx would never forgive you for abandoning him, and at the exact same time as Zexion as well..."

"I'm not _abandoning_ him, but if I have more cash I can get a decent house, and then we'd actually have a decent life together –"

"You wouldn't have any kind of a life together, decent or otherwise, because Dem would get upset and that would be that." Naminé got to her feet. "I have to go, I don't really want to miss _another_ period of French..."

"Tell Belle to fuck herself for me?" We both just looked at Xigbar. "She was a _bitch_ to Demyx. And when I asked her to let him off the detention she gave him she pitched a fit and went to Xemnas about it. He sided with me, thank fuck, but –"

"Well, of course he sided with you." I grinned at the blank look on Xigbar's face. "The staff Christmas party last year?"

"Oh, you _fucker_, you _know_ that didn't really happen. Saïx would have my head. And DemDem would cry."

Naminé rolled her eyes. "You're right, I wouldn't call you grown up. Either of you."

"Aw, you love us. Go on, get to French." The second she was out of the door, Xigbar occupied her abandoned seat. "She's a sweet little kid."

"She's very, very ill," I said quietly. "She hasn't eaten in a week. God knows how she hasn't passed out yet."

"She needs help, really. And Megan does, now I think about it. Roxas seems okay, and I guess I can take care of Demyx, but..."

"I think that Megan and Naminé could do with being separated for a while, really." I sighed. "It kills me to say it, but they're doing each other more harm than good and I don't need either of them getting any worse."

Xigbar sighed. "What if the three of them moved in with you?"

I grinned. "Roxas _hates_ me, you know. And Demyx would have a lot of trouble adjusting, and Megan would constantly be on the defensive about _everything_. I can't say I haven't considered it, but I just can't see it working."

"Apparently their dad tried to kill Demyx." Xigbar swallowed and looked at the floor. "I want them out of that house, Marluxia, and I want that bastard killed."

"We all want that, Xigbar," I began soothingly, "but the thing is –"

"Don't you do that psychologist bullshit on me! I know exactly what you're doing, Marluxia. You're fobbing me off and calming me down, then you're gonna go and put three tortured kids on your to-do list and maybe get around to helping them after you've fucked Vexen and fixed your hair!"

I wasn't even hurt. "You're just lashing out at me because you're so angry and worried about Demyx's situation."

Xigbar slumped back in his chair (well, really my chair) and looked very small. "I'm so scared, Marluxia. I love him."

"I know you do, Xigbar, and that's great," I told him warmly, pouring him some tea because I got the feeling that we were going to be here a while. "How are you going to cope tonight?"

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly, accepting his tea with a small smile.

"I mean, you're going to be all alone with the _underage _love of your life, in your bed with an _underage_ blonde, have someone who is _underage _use your shower... do you see my point?"

"I _know_, okay? I'm sensible. I won't do anything stupid. What do you take me for?"

I decided to just let that go. "What are you going to do if he won't go to sleep?"

"Stay awake and watch TV with him, I suppose."

"What if he gets really upset and starts punching things? Punching you?"

He shrugged. "I hadn't thought of that. I guess I'd just have to let him let off steam. I don't have anything that I would miss if he broke it."

"What if he tries to hurt himself?"

At that Xigbar winced. I hadn't even been allowed to see Demyx's cuts. In fact, I think that Demyx, Xigbar and Demyx's cat are the only three creatures on this earth who have ever been allowed to see the cuts and scars on Demyx's wrists. "Um... I don't know. What am I supposed to do?"

"There isn't a _supposed to_, you just do what you think is right."

He sputtered. "What's that meant to mean? Isn't there some sort of... I don't know..."

"Nope. No real guidelines, no techniques that work properly. You just have to do whatever fits the situation. It all depends on the person, and how upset they are, and what they're trying to hurt themselves with, and how successful they would be with that, that sort of thing." I crossed my legs. "Not even Megan knows how to magically fix Demyx when he's upset, you know."

Xigbar sort of pouted. (Not a good look for him.) "Why _not_? I just want him to be happy, Marly."

"I know, I know. Just hold on until he's eighteen, okay? He's got a plan, you know. He's going to buy a house, or maybe even just a shitty apartment, and get himself a job. I doubt it will actually go anywhere near as well as he hopes it'll go, but it's a start."

Xigbar sighed. "Yeah, well. I just... I wish there was a way to, I don't know, fix everything all in one go. I hate that they're all still _there_ and we can't do anything about it."

"I know, it's awful." I stood up. "Now I believe you had a class to teach?"

He shrugged. "They hardly need me. Can't I just –"

"No, you can't. I have filing to do."

"You mean Vexen has a free now." Xigbar stood up. "Fine, fine, I'm going. Don't get herpes."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" I demanded, only a little bit pissed off because, really, it's quite hard to be pissed off at Xigbar.

"It means exactly what you think it means, I'm calling your little Vexy unclean." He grinned brightly at me and started walking backwards towards the door. "See you around, Marly."

I rolled my eyes. "What _does _Demyx see in you?" I teased, waiting until he was out of the door before adding, "He talks about you a lot, you know."

"What does he –" I shut the door in Xigbar's face, ignoring the hammering and yelling that ensued, and picked up my phone.

"Hey, Vexy, do you have a free now? Yeah, I thought you did. My office or yours? Okay, see you in a couple minutes."

Well, today was going remarkably well so far.

xxx

Random Lexaeus, just because. I'm really tired right now, having only had three hours of sleep last night and still gone out today and done a touch of housework for my mum and so on, so I hope y'all appreciate this chapter.

I really wish that this fic got more attention. For some reason, A million munny still gets a whole lot more hits than this. I can't say that I don't like A million munny getting hits, but I'd like this one to get more. And regular readers re-reading a bunch of times kinda doesn't count. Could you share this fic around with your friends, guys? I would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance, and don't forget that I love you (and that I love reviews).


	33. Chapter 33

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Megan**

"Hey, Nami, um..." I started awkwardly.

She smiled at me. "It's nice that Lex is back, isn't it?"

"Naminé, I know I snapped at you earlier and I'm really sorry, it's just that..."

"Don't worry about it." She pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around her impossibly thin waist, my face partly buried in her blonde hair. It's really hard to be anything _except_ Namine's best friend most of the time, and she was the only person in the universe I couldn't bear to fight with besides my brothers. "I love you, Meggy."

I pulled a face. "Don't call me Meggy."

"I'll call you whatever I like when you see what I got you." With a flourish she pulled an enormous-looking T-shirt out of her bag. "Since you like all that EMO music so much..."

"Oh my _God_! I've been looking for a Linkin Park shirt for _ages_ and I couldn't find one I could afford!" I grabbed the shirt from Naminé and pulled her into a rather violent hug, feeling more than a little guilty when I heard all of the air being forced out of her lungs. "Oh my _God_, Nami, you're _lovely_, how did you know I wanted one?"

"Demyx and I talk quite a lot, you know," Naminé said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I'm glad you like it." There was a pause. "I can tell you like it because you haven't even told me off for calling it EMO music yet."

"Yeah, well... thank you."

She _glowed_ at me, her face split in two by the most enthusiastic of grins, and bobbed on the spot a bit. "I just thought you needed perking up, so I bought it, like, a week ago, and I was just waiting for a good moment to hand it over."

"Aw, Nami, that's so lovely of you." I hugged her again, her arms latching around my neck. "You're amazing."

"So are you," she said quietly as we swayed slightly on the spot. We were just waiting outside school for her brother to arrive, textbooks and folders in our hands just in case the rain started tipping down again and we had to keep ourselves slightly dryish. "We should hug more often."

"There are very few people I actually enjoy hugging, you know," I told her, separating myself from her, "and you're one of them."

She smiled. "I like hugging you too, you know."

I started laughing, almost happy for a change, as Cloud's beat-up car pulled up way further away than it needed to be. "We sound like we're flirting half the time, you realise."

"Yeah, I know. Luxord has some kind of a problem with it, but to be honest I think that he's just on his man period." We got our shit together and started shuffling towards Cloud's car. "Things'll clear up."

"Well, even if they don't, you could have anyone. As long as, you know, they actually like girls. That means you can't have either of my brothers."

"Oh, but then we could be sisters!" Naminé pouted, as we wrenched open the car doors and climbed in.

"Find out if Axel has any siblings, because he'll be related to me soon." I pulled a face. "Can you imagine the wedding?"

Naminé shuddered. "There would be fire... so much _fire_..."  
>"Nah, I'd be on my best behaviour for Roxas's wedding. And when you marry Luxord, as well. I'll even wear something that proves I'm a girl." Cloud was driving almost calmly today. That was nice. "And when Dem marries... someone. I'm still not really sure."<p>

"Don't breathe a word to Demyx," Naminé said quietly, leaning closer to me with sparkling eyes, "but Xigbar's been offered a position at another school, so if Zexion chooses to stay here for university..."

"_Fuck_ no. That will not happen. I won't allow it." I stomped my foot for effect. "I mean, let him choose. But he's not being forced into a decision just because of the circumstances."

"He's going to have to choose anyway, Megan. And I know that you think Zexion is a dick, but –"

"He _is_ a dick, Naminé. I'm actually afraid to leave him alone with Demyx in case he tries something. It would be one thing if Demyx knew about... well, _anything_, but he thinks babies come from the stork."

"How long are you planning on keeping that up?" Naminé asked me, her voice more than a little chiding, and I would have blushed if I were that kind of person. "Larxene's going to have a baby, you know. She's not the kind to keep gory details to herself at the best of times. Demyx is going to find stuff out sooner or later. And just remember where he's staying tonight."

"I trust Xigbar," I said quietly, tugging my skirt down a little and trying not to look, I don't know, like the type of person who doesn't even trust her own shoes, let alone a person, and especially not a guy. I mean, don't get me wrong, some of the best people I know are guys. My brothers, Lex, Marly... but after what happened this morning... I don't know. I was very confused and angry and I felt sick whenever I tried to think about it properly.

"I know you trust him, Megan. He's a nice, honest, trustworthy guy. But I know plenty of people – nice, honest, trustworthy people – who would forget every moral they have for a chance with your older brother. He is really, really hot, you've gotta know that, and people spend a whole lot of time discussing how they're gonna ensnare him." I just sort of gaped at her. "What? You know it's true. I overhear some really interesting conversations sometimes, you know."

"Okay, um, can we have this conversation another time?" I really didn't want to think about the possibility of someone violating Demyx considering everything that had happened to me today. (I didn't want to think about it at any other point either, but today I was thinking with my feelings rather than my brain, and it was hurting a lot.) "How about we talk about Rox's wedding? I am _not_ wearing a dress."

"You _have_ to wear a dress, Megan! Axel actually told me he won't let you come unless you're wearing a dress. And you have to promise not to hurt anyone, as well."

I grimaced. "I _hate_ dresses. And skirts for that matter." I was definitely wearing trousers tomorrow, and maybe really thick tights and a couple of extra pairs of underwear, just in case. "Anyway, I bet Rox would make Axel let me in, whatever I was wearing."

Naminé shrugged. "Axel seemed pretty adamant about it, something about a colour scheme. He is really quite gay sometimes."

"He's bi, isn't he?" I asked, picking at a loose thread on my shirt sleeve. "That's what he told me."

"Yeah, he is. He thinks you're hot, you know. Wouldn't go near you for fear of his life, and because he thinks that Roxas is way, way hotter, but still." Nami smiled at me. "And he said I'm kinda cute, as well."

"Aww. You are cute, you know. Luxord's lucky to have you." I was starting to thoroughly dislike Luxord and I had only seen him once. It was just that, well, he was very inoffensive, and very charming, and very very suck-up-ish. I think that may have had something to do with Naminé telling him that I have a tendency to hurt people, but still, there was something incredibly off about him that I couldn't seem to prise away from the sea of gloopy smiling and hand-shaking and politeness that summed up the rest of him. It was like trying to find a button in black treacle.

Or maybe I was just being very, very defensive of my little Nami.

"If you say so. I think I'm pretty lucky to have him. When I went to see him in Hollow Bastion last time there were three or four girls flirting with him at every given moment. It was tough."  
>"<em>Every<em> moment? Even when you two were engaging in shenanigans together?" I teased, elbowing her very gently.

"Shut up. The only shenanigans we had was kissing."

"You would say that with Cloud in the front seat," I pointed out, as we pulled up outside Naminé's house.

She went a little bit pink. "Look, Megan, if that happened, I would tell you, okay?"

"Yeah, you had better. I expect every single icky detail, okay?" She nodded obediently as I took her PE bag and took it into the house for her.

Sometimes, things were kind of normal. I could just grit my teeth and try really hard not to think about the things that had happened earlier (as in, you know, my dad... well. I'm trying really hard not to think about it.) Life was trickling along at its pretty little pace and I was trying my damnedest to follow it. And I could just about manage... mostly... just about...

**Roxas**

"So tell me again what your excuse was?"

"It's not an excuse, Axel," I laughed, leaning against him slightly. We were just casually eating ice cream together at the cute little ice cream parlour and then (unless the rain decided to reappear) we were going to walk to Axel's place and the inevitable would happen. "Megan won't let me come home tonight because Dad's having a bitchfit and she wants me to be safe."  
>"And she really thinks that you'll be safe with me." Axel frowned thoughtfully for a moment. "What kind of drugs is she taking?"<p>

"Oh, come on, compared to my dad you're... well... you're tall." He grinned and I locked my fingers into his. "You know you have ice cream on you chin."

"Get it for me, would you?" he replied nonchalantly, leaning over a little bit so that I could reach him. It was almost like he thought I was short or something.

"I'm not your slave, you lazy fuck, get a napkin."

"Not my slave, huh? I'll have to fix that. I have some handcuffs, you know."

I scowled. "I _know _you do, I still have a few marks from when I got stuck."

He grinned. "Nah, that was fun, because you made me go and get some butter, and then we used the butter to –"

"Okay, all right, we're in public here. And don't look at me like that, I'm not going to lick the ice cream off your chin now or any time soon, so get a fucking napkin."

He took hold of my chin and looked me dead in the eye. "But I chose sea salt ice cream because it's your favourite."

"It's you favourite too," I pointed out, but then I relented and leaned forwards to lick it off his chin. You can imagine what that evolved into, and pretty soon we were sort of sideways-upside-down and had our hands inside each other's clothing, giggling like we were drunk and whispering the most garbled nonsense.

"Guys? Um... guys?"

We scrambled apart from each other and pulled ourselves upright, but it was only Pence. Axel scowled slightly and I took hold of his hand, raising an eyebrow at him to remind him to be nice, or at least not a cunt.

"Hey, um... nice to see you two. Have you seen Yuffie around anywhere? I can't seem to find her anywhere."

"Um, no, we haven't." Axel shook his head in agreement with me. "We'd probably better get going, though, wouldn't wanna be late for, um... dinner."

"Yeah, that's fine." Strike me down now before I die of awkwardness. "I'll, uh, I'll see you around."

"Yeah." I tugged Axel out of his seat, giving him a "behave yourself, you redheaded jealous bitch" look when he narrowed his eyes and I swear to God _growled _at Pence, who stumbled backwards and nearly fell over a chair.

"Is it true that he and Yuffie are a thing?" Axel asked, his fingers trapping mine so tightly that my fingertips were starting to tingle.

"Yeah, if Olette is to be believed. And she's usually pretty reliable, so..."

"Cool. He still looks at you the same, though."

I tilted my head slightly. "How d'you mean?"

"I mean, he's always pouting and pining and gazing at you like... like..."

"Like he's just getting over a crush on me? Funny, that." I flicked some hair out of my eyes. "It's almost like he _is_ or something."

"Very funny, Rox." Axel dropped my hand and slid an arm around me instead, massaging my shoulder with one hand and grinning when I put my arm around his waist. "I'm sorry I'm such a dick sometimes, you know. You'd never leave me for him, would you?"

I snorted. "Leave you? Yeah, right. And then I think I'll just shave my head and go be a monk."

He smiled but it looked a little pained. "Roxas," he said quietly, "I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. I swear by the saint of Oreos that I wouldn't leave you for him, or anyone else. Really." I slipped my hand into his back pocket as surreptitiously as I could and started chewing on my lip. "So... what are we doing when we get to your place?"

"I'm going to slam you against the nearest wall and fuck you until you're ready to break if you keep doing that thing with your lip," he told me darkly, his hand falling to below my belt as well. "I mean it, Roxas. You have no idea how much you turn me on."

"I'm starting to understand. Do we have to go to school tomorrow? I'm already sort of sore from last night, I don't really want to go to school tomorrow if we're gonna... y'know..."

"If I'm going to fuck you senseless again?"

I sighed. I was trying not to, you know, scream it to everyone in a three-mile radius, but I don't think that Axel really does discretion. "I topped a fair few times, if I remember rightly, and you weren't exactly unimpressed, were you?"

"I was screaming, if I recall correctly, and you were being a cocktease half the time until I handcuffed you to the bed and got the fire –"

"The fire was totally unfair, you would never have been able to top me if you hadn't fucking _cheated_," I argued, hardly caring anyway. We were on Axel's street now, and, not being sure whether or not his parents were going to be around, I pulled away from him, not wanting to arrive with my hand in his back pocket like a whore.

"Oh, come on, I'm built to be the seme, I'm about five times bigger than you." I scowled. "Okay, okay, four and a half times bigger."

"Do you _want_ any tonight?"

Immediately he started pouting again, darting to open the door for me like a gentleman and even holding it while I walked through. "I love you, Roxie."  
>"I love you too, and – did you only hold the door open so that you could check out my ass, by any chance?"<p>

"Well, of course, it's an exquisite ass." I rolled my eyes. "I think my parents and grandma were planning to go out for dinner tonight with a guy that my grandma met at yoga, so we'll have the house to ourselves until about ten." There was a pause. "Not that I planned that or anything so that I could have you in my house all alone for a few hours."

"Well, I'm starving. Food before sex."

"Oh, come _on_, you don't even let me fuck you while we're eating ice cream together, while your pretty little tongue is spinning around an ice cream and you're looking up at me with those big blue eyes and... um... was I talking about something?"

I rolled my eyes again (I was going to pull a muscle soon) and grabbed myself some chocolate milk. "Yeah, you were talking about me not fucking you in a public ice cream parlour."

"Oh, yeah, I was. Yeah, you sit there _tempting_ me and then don't let me take you on the table or the seat or even the floor, and then I get you alone in my house and all you want to do is eat! Are you _sure_ you're gay?"

"Oh, fuck off," I snapped, and he wound his arms around my waist. "Axel, I'm trying to eat."

"Aw, baby, you're so _tense_... can I take your shirt off and massage you a little?"

I almost laughed. "I like how you can nearly sound innocent while you're propositioning me."

"Oh, come on, Roxas, I'm really hard right now." Yeah, um, I could kind of tell. "_Please_?"

"You're such a pain in the ass," I muttered, then immediately regretted my choice of words. Axel chuckled darkly and started undoing my shirt buttons. "Come on, just let me eat and then –"

"Oops, too late, you're partially naked." I opened my mouth to protest and he kissed me deeply. "You know, I read this thing once where they used olive oil to –"

"_No_, we are _not_ doing that. I would never eat olive oil again."

"I would never eat anything except olive oil." Almost of its own accord, my hand found Axel's belt buckle. "Go on, Roxie, prove you're not as babyish as you look."

"Just because I'm _short_," I hissed, ripping Axel's belt away from his hips and grabbing the front of his shirt. "You're going to regret taking the piss, Axel, I hope you realise that."

"Go on, then, make me regret it." He grinned at me and without any kind of warning I stuck my hand straight down his boxers. "Fuck, Roxas, do that again – shit – oh my God..."

Ten seconds later I shoved him away from me and scampered off to have a shower, leaving him frustrated and partially clothed in his own kitchen.  
>Let it never be said that short equates to innocent.<p>

xxx

Well, that was short. And relatively pointless. Panic not, though, because guess where Demyx is right now? He is in Xigbar's very small apartment, which only has one bed. Let the shenanigans commence! (-insert dramatic music and fireworks here-)

I just want to thank you guys for being so caring and supportive. I've been having a really awful time of things recently, and I know that most of you don't really care about it that much, but I've been kind of falling apart. But knowing that random strangers all across the world care about me and want me to keep writing, well, it really helps. Huge love to you all. I really owe you guys.


	34. Chapter 34

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Demyx**

After a day of walking around feeling slightly sick and completely exhausted, I was walking along a street I'd never seen before, my fingers twisted around Xigbar's. Rain was lightly spraying itself all over Twilight Town and had been doing so for most of the walk home, which I _loved_, and I had even taken to deflecting the water away from Xigbar as much as I could so that he didn't get too soaked. I couldn't tell whether he had noticed yet or not.

"You okay, Dem?" Xigbar asked for the third or fourth time. I nodded absently, trying to focus on manipulating the rain. "You sure?"

"Yes, Xiggy, I'm _fine_," I half-laughed, nearly tripping over my own feet, which didn't really help my cause. "I promise you, I'm fine."

"You would tell me if you weren't?" he pressed, squeezing my hand a little.

I sighed. "_Yes_, you silly, of course I would." I leaned to the side and kissed him briefly on the cheek, feeling myself blushing as I retreated. It was weird that I hadn't even kissed Xigbar yet, but Zexion constantly had his hands all over me. And yet there wasn't really one I liked more than the other. There were times when I wanted someone who was going to respect my space and look after me and put me first, and then there were times when I wanted someone who was needy and clingy and gave me very little thought.

"I love you, DemDem. I just want to know you're all right."

"I am. I'm fine." I spotted a huge block of apartments somewhere past a road sign that bore the name of the street Xiggy had told me that he lived on. "Is this where you live?" I asked, pointing with our conjoined hands.

"Yes, unfortunately," he muttered, his face darkening. There were worse places to live. Like my house. "You sure you'll be okay with sharing a bed and everything?"

I nodded. "I'm _sure_. Stop panicking so much. I'm the girly one."

He grinned at that and I immediately felt better about the entire situation. "True enough, Dem, true enough. Don't ever change, okay?"

"Don't you dare, either." I noticed a puddle by the side of the road, the water surging with energy under the raindrops, crying out to be somewhere other than the small corner of the street. "I love you, you know that? I –" I was interrupted by a car driving through the puddle I had been paying attention to, spraying me from head to toe with rather mucky water and making me squeal in what must have been a very sophisticated and attractive way. "Oh my _God_..."

"Demyx! Shit, are you okay?"

I coughed a little. "Yeah, just soaked."

"Fuck, let's get you up to my apartment, you can get a hot shower and put on some of my clothes, they'll be a bit big on you but at least you'll be dry..." He carried on muttering even when I couldn't hear him, mentioning things like hot food and cuddling and getting plenty of sleep. "Aw, babe, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? It's hardly your fault." I followed him into an apartment that looked utterly depressing and stood awkwardly in the kitchen, if it could even be called that. "I'm going to go and have a shower, okay?"

"Yeah, you do that. It's just through there," he pointed, "and it should be self-explanatory, but if you get stuck come get me, okay?"

I nodded and dripped my way into the bathroom, shivering violently. The second that the door was shut behind me I peeled off my soaked clothes and hung them over the radiator to (hopefully) dry out a little, because as much as the idea of wearing Xiggy's clothes appealed to me, I would need something to wear tomorrow, preferably something that belonged to me. I really didn't need any more friction between Zexion and Xigbar, and somehow I didn't think that Roxas would be too happy if he finally cottoned on to what was going on with me and my English teacher.

"This thing..." I muttered, standing damp and only wearing underwear in Xigbar's tiny bathroom, trying frantically to turn the shower on, but the dial was incredibly stiff and I could barely make reach it, let alone turn it. "I cannot do this. Great."

I sighed and evaluated my options. I could keep trying, possibly hurt myself and, even worse, break Xigbar's shower (which looked more than a little broken already, but hey) or I could go and get Xigbar, or I could go without a shower. Going without a shower didn't seem like much of an option, really. All in all, it would make the most sense to go and get Xigbar.

God, how embarrassing.

I unlocked the door and stuck my head around it. "Xiggy?" I called softly, shivering again. "Xiggy?"

He bounced into view, stopping short when he saw me almost naked and really cold. "Demyx?"

"I can't turn the shower on," I told him forlornly, hugging myself to try and keep warm. It didn't work all that well. "Um... are you okay?"

He was looking at me really weirdly and I was reminded of Zexion.

I swallowed as he took hold of me by the upper arms and looked me up and down. "Jesus fucking Christ with a hat on," he breathed. "Demyx..."

"Yeah?" I answered, feeling myself blush.

"Um... do you, like, work out?"

I nodded slowly. "Only a little bit, you know, ever since that time when Xemnas called me fat."

"That bitch," he hissed, reaching out with one hand and barely brushing my abs with his fingertips. "Wow..."

"Um... I'm really cold. Could you, um..." I gestured to the shower.

He started. "Yeah. Um, yeah, sure." He crossed the room and almost instantly had the shower pumping out hot water. "There you go."  
>I pouted at him. "I loosened that for you."<p>

He grinned at me, walking towards me again and catching hold of me around the waist. I think he was looking at my cuts, but he might just have been looking at, you know, my body. "Yeah, I know you did. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."

I scowled. "Don't patronise me," I said in my most immature, petty voice. "It's not my fault. I could hardly reach."

He planted a very soft kiss on my forehead. "I'm sorry, Demyx. I love you, you know that? Now, you get yourself washed and then you get nice and dry, I'll order, like, pizza or something and find you some clothes to wear, and then we'll do basically whatever you want to do."

I perked up a little and nodded. He left with a quick kiss on my left cheek and I locked the door behind him and dove into the shower, grinning at the perfect temperature beating down onto my skin and playing with the ribbons of water for ages. I loved showers. After a while, I decided it wasn't really fair to use so much hot water, and climbed out, managed to turn off the shower all by myself, and dried off with a thin, tired old towel. After poking my clothes I decided that there was no way on earth that they were ever going to get properly dry, at least not with the assistance of a dryer or at least several days in direct sunlight, and just wrapped a towel around my waist and scuttled out of the room.

"Xigbar?" I found him in the tiny kitchen, looking for clean plates or something. "Um... my clothes are soaked..."

There was a horrific noise and I realised that he had smacked his head on a cupboard. "Shit! Those cupboards are lethal, I tell you. Anyway, yeah, clothes. Um, I'll grab you some of my stuff..."

After a whole bunch of jeans that just would not stay around my hips, we realised that maybe a belt would be a good idea, and finally managed to find a shirt with sleeves long enough to hide my cuts, because even though I was sort of okay with Xigbar seeing them, I didn't want anyone else to catch sight of them, like the pizza guy (who was due here in thirty minutes or the pizza was free) or, I don't know, the ghost that probably frequented this apartment.

"Are you okay?" Xigbar asked again, taking hold of my left hand and tugging me onto his lap on the edge of his bed, having just put the TV on.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?" I settled onto his lap, smiling to myself. "You're comfy."

"You're gonna have to hop off when the pizza guy gets here, you know," he told me, pulling me in closer to him. I could feel his heart against my back. "And I'm great." He nuzzled into my neck and I could almost feel him smiling.

"Good." I took a deep breath. I was beginning to think that maybe now would be a good time to kiss him. Just turn your head and kiss him. What's he going to do? He wants to kiss you too, right?

What if he doesn't?

"Demyx?" Xigbar said softly. "Do you ever wonder what would happen if... if we were a real couple? Like, if Zexion couldn't flirt with you and Megan could tease you even more and all that?"

"Sometimes I do, yeah." I swallowed. "You know what's weird?"

"What?"

"That you and I haven't even kissed yet, and Zex always has his hands all over me... and I can't actually say that I prefer either of those. Like, you two are so _different_, and somehow I really like you both. I think I love you both."

He kissed my ear lightly and I fought the urge to giggle. My ears were really sensitive. "Nobody's going to force you into anything, Dem. Take all the time you like to decide. Just don't give me Zexion germs."

"He held my hand earlier," I casually mentioned, before grabbing Xigbar's hand. "Look, now you have Zexy's germs all over your hand."

He laughed. "Ew! Get them off, get them off!"

_Just do it just do it Demyx you coward just kiss him_... "Xiggy?"

"Hm?"

I turned my head, and we were _this close, _just a second away from kissing, a heartbeat away...

And then the pizza guy came. I have never been more angry at pizza in my life.

**Roxas**

"I hate you, Axel. I hate you so _damn_ much."

"Quit complaining," he muttered, "it could be a whole lot worse."

"How?" I demanded. "Tell me, Axel, how in the name of fuck it could _possibly_ be worse than it is right now?"

"Well... um... Megan could be having sex with Seifer."

"She could be, for all we know," I snapped. "How the _fuck_ could she even... could Demyx even... could _Xigbar_ even..."

To cut a long story short, Axel's family had arrived home early and completely cockblocked us, I had broken my nose on Axel's bedside table, and he had chosen _now_ to tell me that my older brother was spending the night at my English teacher's house and that said English teacher apparently had a thing going on with Demyx that meant that shenanigans were more than likely.

"I know, I know, it's a lot to take in, but if you just take some deep breaths and –"

"No!" Axel's mother was still eavesdropping on us, I could tell. Megan was going to love this house. It was full of _her_. "Don't you dare fucking tell me to take deep fucking breaths, Axel! This is my brother we're talking about! He doesn't know what sex is! He barely knows why people kiss! And nobody thought to _tell _me that he and Xigbar are in an apartment together doing fuck-knows-what and completely messing up Dem's head?" I growled. "I know I'm the youngest, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't get to know things."

Axel sighed. "Calm down, Roxas, it's not a big deal –"

"Not a big _deal_? Not a – Axel, how can you not understand this? Think about what they might be doing right now! Imagine if they – if he made Demyx –"

"Oh, come on, Roxas, you really think he could _make_ Demyx do _anything_? The kid's a pansy, he'd sooner drown Xigbar than have to do anything that would even so much as twinge a little, never mind actual pain." This reassured me very little, and Axel clearly spotted this, because he continued, "Besides, Megan sanctioned this. She said it was all right. If she trusts Xigbar..."

I scowled. "I don't like any of this. Why don't people ever tell me things?"

"Because you always flip out," Axel pointed out, gesturing to the cardboard box I may have demolished a little bit. "Look, Rox, I love you and everything, you know that, but sometimes you are a difficult person to deal with when you're upset."

"Leave, then!" I yelled, flailing in the general direction of the door.

"It's my house!" Axel half-laughed, shaking his head at me. "Look, babe, just come here and give me a cuddle, and we can talk about this calmly, like grown-ups."

"But I don't wanna talk about it calmly!" I whined, flopping face-down onto Axel's bed. I felt a pair of suspicious hands sliding their way down my back as he moved to basically sit on top of me, straddling me quite easily because I was so small and he was so unsmall. "Axel... get off."

"I'm not even doing anything," he said innocently, slipping his hands up my shirt and causing me to make a rather odd little noise. "Oh, does my lickle Roxie like that?" he said smoothly, beginning to massage my back gently.

"Mm..." I relaxed as he eased my shirt up my body so that he could massage my back better. "Yeah, I do..."

"Oh, that's good, then. What else do you want? Something to eat? Something to drink?"

"No, I don't." An annoying little thought penetrated the haze of comfort and pleasure that was currently my mind. "Are you just trying to get into my pants?" I asked thickly, as his hands got lower and lower and my jeans seemed to become far less present on my hips.

"Not at all, Roxie," he purred, and I remembered vaguely that I didn't like being called Roxie. It sounded good when Axel said it, though. "You just relax, okay, babe?"

"I can't shake the feeling that you're just trying to get into my pants, though. Even though we've already done that, like, twice." I sighed heavily and Axel leaned down to kiss my neck. "Mm... um... aren't your parents and grandma around? Don't you feel kind of weird, doing this with them around?"

"Not in the slightest," he said simply. "You feel any better yet?"

"Mm-hm... how do you even know how to do this?" I asked, my voice coming out mumbling and almost confused-sounding.

"Internet. And aren't you glad that I do?" His fingers dipped under the waistband of my jeans and started to play with my hip bones, especially that one spot that always got me if you stroked it in circles. "How do you feel now?"

"I hate you," I growled, squirming underneath him. "No, seriously, Axel, stop it."

"You like it," he teased, knowing full well that I _loved_ it, but that I was severely pissed at him for doing this to me. "Are you turned on, by any chance, Roxie?"

"Don't call me Roxie," I said, "and no, I'm not." It was a blatant lie and Axel knew it, but he couldn't really do anything until I admitted to being turned on.

"Oh, I think you are." He got off of me, lying down next to me instead and placing a hand on my lower back. "I bet that you're turned on."

"No, I'm not," I lied through gritted teeth.

"Well, I am. Especially now that you're getting pissed off at me. You _know_ how hot I think it is when you're angry." I scowled even more and Axel's grin turned predatory. "Yeah, like _that_. And it's really hot when you growl at me. Oh, and when you punch me."

"Fucking masochist," I muttered, standing up and stretching, trying not to reveal that I was actually very turned on. "There's something wrong with you, you fuck-up."

"You love me," he grinned, standing up and slipping his arms around my waist. "If you didn't, you would've left when my family showed up."

I sighed heavily. "You're a dick." I wound my fingers into his hair and kissed him slowly, carefully. "But I do like dicks. Yours especially."

He chuckled. "Now, how about we scare my mother?"

"Um, how about _no_? I really want your parents to like me, Axel. Let's just... let's leave the sex for another time."

He gaped. "You're... you're not serious." I gave him the most serious look I could conjure up. "Roxie, _please_, you can't hold out on me just because of my parents. They adore you, you know – my grandma thinks that you're an angel and my mother thinks you're really really sweet and my dad is just real happy for me, and... I'm babbling here." He took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is, you don't need to make anyone like you. You're fantastic." I rolled my eyes, trying to pull away from Axel who had his arms locked tightly around my waist. "Look, if you're feeling especially prudish about it, we could always go to your place."

"That is a terrible idea and you should never even try and have an idea again." I kissed him on the nose. "Look, just keep a lid on it until bedtime, at least. I'll make it worth your while." For emphasis, I kissed him, my mouth falling open to receive his tongue, and before long I was being tipped backwards onto the bed, Axel hissing my name in between kissing my mouth and kissing my face. "A-Axel, okay, we need to stop now..."

"Rox-_ie_, I'm so turned on right now, _please_ help me out..."

"Boys! Dinner's going to be ready in ten minutes, okay?" I froze underneath the skinny redhead, who was more disappointed than embarrassed. Fucking typical.

"W-we should..." I took a deep breath and peeled Axel's hands away from my belt. "Let's go."

"Oh, come on, Roxie –"

"No." I was finally putting my foot down. "Apart from anything else, I need some fucking breathing space. Or do you want me to get bored of fucking you before we've even made it to a month together?"

He looked at me very steadily and said, "I would die if that happened."

"Well then, get off of me and let's go and have dinner." Axel obediently shuffled his way off of me and I stood up, adjusting my shirt and hair so that I didn't look too dishevelled. "Axel, your hair is sticking up here," I pointed to my own hair to demonstrate, "and your shirt needs tucking in."

He nodded and took a few seconds to make himself look something like presentable, then grabbed my hand and lead me out of the room.

"Now, Roxie, just bear in mind that my entire family is very, well, um, honest, and they all very, erm, strong opinions..."

I rolled my eyes. "I live with Megan. I think I'll survive one meal with your parents and grandma."

He looked oddly sceptical.

The first thing I had to notice was the food. It was amazing food. Axel's dad ate incredibly fast, Axel himself ate pretty fast (most likely trying to get back into his bedroom with me), his mother ate slowly and his grandma ate _really _slowly. I ate normally, because I am quite normal. Of course.

"So, Roxas..." I braced myself for the "awkward conversation with the guy's dad" that I'm sure everyone has to endure at some point. Except, you know, people who date girls. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how are you?" Axel, his mother and his grandma were bickering about wedding dresses for some reason. I felt totally alone.

"Brilliant. I'm really glad to have finally met you, you know. Axel talks about you a lot."

"Yes, a _lot_," his mom chipped in, as Axel went pink. "And sometimes he talks about you in his sleep, too."

"Mom!" Axel groaned, covering his face with one hand.

"Oh, stop it, Ella, you're embarrassing Axie," his grandmother cooed. I almost laughed, but decided not to. Ella, as I had just found out that she was called, was grinning sheepishly, her face turning slightly pink beneath hair that was the same colour as Axel's. "So, Roxas, what are you thinking of doing when you're older?"

"Oh, stop, Angie, like he's going to have a clue about that yet." Axel's dad crammed a large amount of food into his mouth and set down his cutlery. "I remember when I was your age, I was still convinced I could be a superhero."

Angie chuckled. "Ooh, I do remember that. And then there was the phase when you thought you could be a fireman just because you were capable of lighting a couple of candles on fire." She rolled her eyes at me. "Some people just overestimate themselves, Roxas. Never become one of those people, okay, dear?"

I nodded dumbly, amazed by how Axel's cockiness was sliced in half by his family, amazed at how normally they were treating me when they were meant to be _judging_ me, for fuck's sake, they were meant to be making me feel uncomfortable...

And yet I felt totally at home.

"So, Roxas." I looked up at Axel's dad again. He had completely finished his food and was leaning back on his chair. "Axel tells me that he's your first boyfriend."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I, um, I was sort of in denial until I met Axel."

"Aww, how sweet!" Angie chirped, reaching over and heaping more potato onto my plate without even asking me first. I really loved the potato, though, so it was okay. "It's good that you two are so happy. How's your sex life?"

I think I died right then.

"Grandma!" Axel choked. "Just because you were a relationship counsellor for about a week last year –"

"Oh, come now, it's not as if there are any virgins sitting here. Roxas doesn't mind, do you, Roxas?"

I gaped at Axel like I had no fucking clue what I was supposed to say.

"Yes, actually, Roxas _does_ mind, and now we're going up to my room and you can fucking well find out how our sex life is." He stood up, grabbed me by the arm and tugged me out of the room, ignoring me when I reached out for my plate and babbled weakly about my leftover potatoes, my exhausted, shocked mind still trying to figure out what had just happened.

In his room, he pinned me against the wall and kicked a chair in front of the door to keep his family out. "I have held off for _way_ too long, Roxie. Do you have any idea how sexy it is when you sit there awkwardly, chew your lip, try and say the right thing... fuck, why aren't you naked yet?"

"Um... Axel... are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay! My grandmother just enquired about our sex life! And now you're just standing there and... fuck..." He leaned down and kissed me, his hands sneaking around to my ass almost instantaneously. "Rox... I love you."

"I love you too. Now, um... about the whole sex thing..."

"What about it?" he smirked, undoing my belt within seconds.

"Um... well... it would be nice if we could... do that."

He laughed. "Yeah, it would. I'm really hard."

I glanced at his crotch. Yep, that was certainly an erection, all right. "Take your clothes off, you dick."

"Oh, so I don't even get the pleasure of little Roxie stripping me?" he teased, already starting to unbutton his shirt because he knew I wasn't exactly going to change my mind. "Are you checking me out, by any chance?"

"No," I lied, not even trying to hide the fact that I was staring at his bare chest and abs. "Help me get my shirt off," I demanded, reaching for Axel's belt.

He grinned. "I'm going to make you scream, Roxas."

I swallowed. "I'll fuck you harder," I whispered, my fingernails scraping his chest lightly to illustrate this. "You won't wanna go to school tomorrow, you know."

"If I could keep you imprisoned in my bedroom I don't think I'd ever go to school again."

If I remember correctly, that was the last coherent sentence spoken until we had finished – as in, completely finished, after several rounds and a whole lot of screaming from both of us – and we lay curled up in Axel's bed, both sweaty, both covered in... stuff, in desperate need of a shower but totally unable to drag ourselves to the bathroom.

"Axel... where did you learn how to do that?" I asked thickly, planting a sloppy kiss on his chin.

"I dunno. The internet. You know what you have, Roxie?"

I looked up at him in the almost-darkness. "A really big dick?"

He chuckled. "I have to say, it's bigger than I thought it'd be considering how girly you are. Anyway, no. You have my virginity. Keep it safe, okay?"

"Only if you keep mine safe too. I love you, Axel. And your insane family, too."

"Yeah, I love you too, and your psycho sister and incredibly slow brother. Maybe one day we'll get married and all be one big, crazy, dysfunctional, loving family." He yawned. "Get to sleep now, okay, gorgeous? We've got school tomorrow."

"Okay. Sleep well, Axel."

I drifted off the second that he had said "Sleep well, Roxas," and kissed my forehead.

xxx

There you go. I meant to update a lot sooner, but things happened. Bad things. But never fear, I'm back now. I've been holding up pretty well, actually. I'm proud of myself.

I just want to thank all the people nice enough, crazy enough or just plain bored enough to read all the way up to this point. You guys are so amazing to put up with all this random bullshit and I promise, it'll be worth it in the end. Well, maybe you'll hate the ending. There's a reason I'm planning out a sequel. So... yeah. Thank you. You people have saved me from bad, bad days and bad, bad thoughts, and I will owe you forever.


	35. Chapter 35

****Warnings******: **Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings******: **AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and **I don't own these characters**, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Xigbar**

Okay, I fucking hate pizza guys and their fucking timing, but it was damn good pizza, and it was fun when Demyx got some pizza sauce on his chin and I licked it off, him giggling like a girl as my hands fixed on his hips in my cramped, dark kitchen.

"I love you, Xiggy," he smiled, taking another bite of his pizza and then feeding some to me. "What time do I have to go to bed?"

"What time do you usually go to bed?" I asked. I was still a little bit shaken from seeing him in just his underwear, shaking from the cold, his huge blue-green eyes fixed on me with a little bit of embarrassment, a little bit of shyness, a little bit of pleading, and underneath it all, flirting, like he nearly knew what he was doing. I don't think that he did, though. I think that he was just attracted to me, completely clueless as to what he was doing to my entire body with his muscles and pale skin and...

Fuck. I was going to end up very sexually frustrated very quickly at this rate.

"Whenever Megan decides I look really tired. Which means about nine or ten, most nights, but sometimes earlier. And every now and then she just decides that I'm too agitated to get any sleep and makes me take a pill." He finished the last of the pizza and slowly licked the grease off his fingers, his tongue spinning around his fingertips easily, gently, quickly... Dammit, stop looking at his tongue, look him in the eye... "I'll go to bed whenever tonight, though. It's fine."

"Well, the last thing I need is for you to be exhausted tomorrow as well," I said thoughtfully, "but if you go to bed too early you aren't going to sleep anyway."

He nodded. "I guess we'll just wait and see whether I'm tired."

"Good plan. Are you okay? I saw your arms earlier..." I trailed off awkwardly, not even wanting to think about the awful, awful wounds on my Demyx, my gorgeous, amazing, broken Demyx.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Haven't cut in days now." He swallowed hard, leaning his forehead on my shoulder. "You know, I keep thinking, you'd get in real trouble if they find out that you and I..."

"Well, we haven't even kissed yet," I pointed out, "and Xemnas has his suspicions anyway, but he won't say anything about it because of what happened with him and Saïx, and because he's a bit of a creep towards a lot of the kids in school at the best of times. Anyway, it won't be long until you're eighteen, and you've finished school and are looking for a university or a job, and then I'll be able to do whatever I like with you." Of course, in Demyx's mind that translated to hanging out and kissing, but hey, even that would be an improvement on the current situation. "You don't need to worry about stuff like that, Dem. I'll take care of shit like that, right? You just be Demyx."

He sighed. "It's just... everyone treats me like a little kid, or like... like some kind of idiot. They never tell me things and they lie to me and they all tell me not to worry about stuff, and I hate it. I'm nearly eighteen and still dependant on my siblings, how sad is that?"

"I was dependant on my older brother until I was twenty-six," I told him quietly, "and even now I still call him whenever I have an issue."

I didn't mention that at the moment, I couldn't call him because he was doing time for hitting his girlfriend (which was actually only self-defence, but he was loathe to admit that she was abusing him and had been since day one). I could see where Dem was coming from, though. It must have been really frustrating for him, having people talk over his head all the time and keep things from him, but I would hate to see him upset.

"I'm still hungry," Demyx said flatly, looking around the kitchen like more pizza was going to leap out at him. "Do you have any chocolate milk?"

"Megan told me that you're not allowed chocolate milk," I told him, "and anyway, I don't have any."

He shrugged. "Ah, well. Do you want to go and watch some more TV?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Are you sure you're okay, Dem? You seem really down."

"I just thought..." he trailed off, taking my hand and tugging me over to the TV. "I just thought, you know, if Zexion left to go to Traverse, he'd be surrounded by cute intellectual guys, right? And I'm not even smart enough to get into Twilight, let alone Traverse –"

"Who said you weren't smart enough to get into Twilight Uni? I bet you –"

"The rejection letter," he said hoarsely. "The rejection letter is what said I'm not smart enough to get into Twilight. You're the first person I've told."

I sighed. "Okay. Okay, that's not too bad. I can pull a few strings with Xemnas and you can retake this grade next year, and you can reapply for Twilight and maybe Hollow Bastion as well, just to be on the safe side, and if the worst comes to the worst, who fucking needs uni anyway? I have plenty of friends that never finished higher education and they're all fine."

"You're just saying that," he said quietly. "You know, if I retake this grade next year, I'll be in the same grade as Meg again." He smiled to himself as he wrapped both his hands around one of mine. "I'd like that. I don't think I spend enough time with Megan. She is my little sister, after all. I should be looking after her sometimes instead of it always being the other way around."

"I think that she _needs_ to look after people," I mused. "I think that it helps her more than being coddled would. But you're right, it would be nice for you and her to spend more time together."

He nodded. "I mean, I spend plenty of time with Roxas. He's a really sensible little kid. But he and Axel are all over each other nowadays, which is adorable but makes me feel really awkward..."

"I know the feeling." It's even worse when it's the guy you like and some slimy EMO midget. "Are you okay? Do you want anything to eat? Or drink?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"And you're not too hot? Or too cold? Or tired?" I was starting to go into girl mode, but Demyx barely seemed to mind. He smiled a little lopsidedly and leaned in to kiss my nose. Why was it that one tiny little kiss like that could turn me on almost straight away?

"No, Xiggy, I'm fine. I just wanna cuddle with you and watch... um... what are we watching?"

I squinted at the screen like maybe squinting would make it make more sense. "I think it's Spirited Away."

"Fair enough." He settled down next to me with his arms around my waist, my arms around his shoulders, and smiled. "You know, we should do this more often."

"We should do this for the rest of eternity," I said softly, stroking his hair and fidgeting a little to hide what was going on in my pants. I knew that Dem wouldn't notice anyway, but it felt very wrong to have an oblivious underage blonde sitting so very close to my painful boner.

"I love you, Xiggy."

"I love you too, DemDem."

After a few hours of pointless channel hopping, I declared Demyx far too tired to stay up any longer, and turned off the TV and the light, then guided Demyx into my bed, lying down opposite him as far away as I could get.

Almost instinctively, he latched onto my waist and buried his face in my shirt. "Xiggy, I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" I asked, rubbing his back and biting my lip. I was so wound up and now he was so close to me, in my bed, in the dark...

"Are all the doors locked?" he asked, not even acknowledging my question.

I frowned. "Yeah, of course they are, Demyx," I said evenly, frowning into the darkness and wondering what could have Demyx this anxious.

"And the windows?" he pressed, clinging to my waist even tighter, forcing air from my lungs. I nodded, then remembered that it was dark.

"Yes, DemDem, all the windows are locked as well. Why, what are you afraid of?"

He clamped both legs tightly around one of mine and I could feel him shaking. "Nothing, really. It's just... my dad..."

I hissed in sudden comprehension, and at the mention of Demyx's dad, who needed to be killed. "Dem... what happened with your dad yesterday? You said something about him trying to kill you..."

"Yeah, about that. It's just because I refused to go back into my bedroom, and he was in a really bad mood..." Probably drunk as well, but I'm not sure how much Demyx knows about alcohol so I left it. "And he tried to strangle me, but Megan saved me. She hit him over the head with a frying pan, I think she knocked him out, and then put him into his bed so that he would think he was just sleeping or something."

"And what happened this morning? Or were you too sleepy then to remember?"

"Yeah. I stayed in my room for the most part. I just remember Megan making me hide under my bed in case Dad came in, and the sound of her almost crying except that Megan _never_ cries, and then there was a really nice lady in the bakery we went to for breakfast and she gave Megan a free croissant." He finished the story with this as if croissants were greatly important to the grand scheme of things.

"Okay, DemDem. Just as long as you're okay now."

"I'm great now. Don't worry."

I spent about five minutes stroking his hair and listening to his breathing (creepy as that sounds) but he didn't seem any sleepier.

"Demyx? You still awake?"

"Yeah, I am." He sighed. "Can't sleep."

His voice was heavy and lilting with tiredness. "You sound real sleepy, though," I said quietly, holding him a little closer, my heart pounding unnaturally loud in my ears as if I were some kind of teenager again. "Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, I do."

I waited, but he didn't elaborate. "What do you need, DemDem?" I asked.

He took a deep breath, placing one hand on my cheek. "I need..." In the barely-there light, I could just about make out Demyx's face, which looked, at the moment, sort of nervous. "I need to do this."

And then, finally, after weeks and weeks of _almost_, he kissed me.

And it was an amazing kiss. I'm not one for all that gushy romantic bullshit (or so I always told myself) but it was heart-stopping. He was so nervous and adorable, reluctant even to open his mouth a little, and I pulled away before he did, unable to think straight and terrified of scaring him away.

"Xiggy..." He bit his lip. I was suddenly very aware of just how cute the rest of my body thought he was, and shifted slightly so that his legs weren't intertwined with mine quite so much. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, kissing him gently on the cheek, still not sure about doing, well, _anything_ that wasn't initiated by him.

"Um, I just... being a pain in the neck." He shuffled closer to me again, clearly intent upon giving me the worst boner ever and then leaving me to deal with it all on my own. (Okay, he didn't exactly do it on purpose, but still.) "I'm sorry."

"Dem, if you're trying to be a pain in the neck, you're doing a really shitty job of it." He smiled and I smiled too, because you can't not smile with Demyx. "Look, that... that kiss was... amazing."

"Really?" he said softly, and I nodded.

"Yup. Can I kiss you again?"

"Gladly." We didn't kiss for long, mostly because Dem was about to fall asleep any second, but I was struck by just how _pure_ this seemed. It was an odd thing to think about, because here I was making out with an underage student from my English class, and there shouldn't have been anything pure or innocent or _right_ about any of it. And yet, there was. It felt so good, and so refreshing, and I loved every single second of it, even the bit where he accidentally bit my tongue.

"I love you, Demyx." I kissed him again, briefly, and then ducked away before I got too into it. "Now, you need to get to sleep."

He yawned. "Yeah, I do." He rolled over so that his back was facing me and took hold of my hands, pulling my arms tightly around his waist. Hopefully he wouldn't notice that I was incredibly turned on. "Um, what's that digging into me?"

_Shit_.

"It's, uh, it's my cellphone. Sorry, Dem." I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life... "Get to sleep now, yeah?"

"Mm-hm," he said, drifting off within seconds and leaving me uncomfortable, horny and absolutely ecstatic that _finally_, we had kissed.

And it had been fucking amazing.

**Megan**

I hammered on Xigbar's door at quarter to seven in the morning, Naminé hovering behind me awkwardly as though she didn't particularly like the idea of hanging around outside an English teacher's apartment first thing in the morning. Neither of us had got much sleep the night before. We'd been talking about all the things we hated talking about – my childhood, Naminé's food problem, Demyx's violent outbursts and constant self-harming, and most of all, my dad. Naminé was really upset about it, and I couldn't help but think that she knew what I'd got Cloud to pick up from the pharmacy for me, and why. Lexaeus had guessed straight away, but I had hurriedly chalked that up to him having been through group counselling and seen plenty of girls who had been hurt the way I had. (I was still avoiding the _r_ word as much as I could. It _hurt._)

"Megan." Xigbar was standing in the doorway, clearly still half-asleep but pretty content. Naminé and I exchanged quick glances – he was fully dressed, smelling of toothpaste, and clearly _not_ basking in the afterglow of sex – and then returned our attention to Xigbar. "You're early."

"Yeah, a little. Where's Dem?"

"He's in my room, just –" I had already ducked past him to go and find Demyx, knowing that if anything had happened, the speed at which he was getting dressed and the way he was walking would tip me off straight away. Naminé remained in the corridor without me and I could hardly blame her – there is _nothing_ weirder than checking for signs of sex in your teacher's apartment.

I stopped when I had flung open the door to Xigbar's room. Dem was in there, all right, and he didn't really look like he had had sex last night. I think I would be able to tell. Sex has a very distinctive smell – I wouldn't really know, but I'm told that it's sweat and cum and sometimes lube and scented or flavoured condoms – and it usually leaves its mark on bedsheets.

The one thing that was out of place about the whole thing, though, was that –

"He's asleep," I breathed, as Xigbar traipsed into his room to sit down on the edge of the bed next to my sleeping brother. "He's _actually_ asleep," I continued in awe. "He _never_ stays asleep this long. What did you _do_ to him?"

"Nothing. Well, I mean, we had our first kiss, but other than that, literally nothing." Xigbar shook Dem gently by the shoulder. "Demyx? DemDem, c'mon, your sister's here. You need to get something to eat and then we'll head to school, yeah?"

"Hnng..." he responded, with all the eloquence in the world, clinging to Xigbar's hand like it was sleep itself. "Five more minutes?"  
>"No, Dem, you've gotta get up. If you're late, Zexy will think you've abandoned him," I pointed out, being utterly cruel to Xigbar just for the sake of it, and Demyx sat bolt upright, his eyes still half-closed. I noticed he was wearing what looked an awful lot like Xigbar's shirt and swallowed. I wasn't quite sure how that had come about – probably just a case that Dem had a shower and then realised that he had nothing to change into – but it made me deeply uneasy. Naminé said that I was far too over-protective. And while she was totally right, it didn't mean that I was really going to <em>stop<em>, just that things like Xigbar possibly seeing my brother partially dressed made me want to flip a table out of pure rage.

Like a zombie, Demyx vacated Xigbar's bed and shuffled out of the room into the kitchen. Xigbar followed him eagerly, threw together some toast for all four of us (Naminé only ate half of hers, but she'd had an entire meal last night so I was willing to let her off the hook) and tracked down Demyx's clothes, which were, it turned out, soaked through because of some dick who drove through a puddle and caught Demyx with the water. We decided that they were old and tatty anyway, and Demyx threw them away in favour of going to school in Xigbar's clothes, which would probably cause a stir. At this point I didn't care. Stirs were good, in a way, because it attracted attention to my family, attention I could then use for my own benefit.

We all walked to school, Demyx and Xigbar holding hands like they didn't have a spare fuck to give, and arrived about twenty minutes early. Dem disappeared with my future brother-in-law – I mean, uh, one of his two potential boyfriends (because I _totally_ don't favour Xigbar in any way, shape or form) to "talk", which I assume meant shenanigans of some type, leaving Nami and I to sit in the girls' bathroom and talk about nothing, really. I think Luxord came up in the conversation. He had called Naminé last night, actually, just to say hi, which Naminé seemed to think was the height of romance. I had pointed out that even _Roxas_ called Naminé "just to say hi" from time to time, and that all Luxord was doing was using her to alleviate his boredom. She paid me no attention (not for the first time) and spent twenty minutes gushing to him about how much she missed him and how much she loved him and how much _he_ should hang up first.

It was sickening.

"So, okay, if you had to date a girl from this school, who would you pick?" Naminé asked, completely out of the blue.

I shrugged. Dating didn't really appeal to me. I could never understand why people attached themselves to a person like that, engaged in what was usually painful, sticky, more or less pointless sex, and then agonised over their opinion, their thoughts, their feelings. It all seemed so... _gross_. "I don't know. You, I guess. You're the only girl here I could tolerate for more than an hour at a time. You?"

"You, I guess. Or Larxene." I raised an eyebrow. "What? She's cute." Naminé was blushing slightly. "Come on, you would – actually, you wouldn't. You two would tear each other apart in seconds."

I grinned. "Got that one right." The bell rang. Had we really been here that long? "I would win, though. Come on, let's get to class."

We froze in the doorway of Chemistry. There were only two empty seats left. One next to Seifer, and one next to a girl who looked like she had just finished crying. I looked at Naminé with pleading eyes and she scowled heavily before slipping into the seat by Seifer, saving my ass for another day. I sighed with relief and shot Naminé a smile before darting to sit next to the random girl, who felt the need to scowl at me.

Oh, well.

Vexen swept into the classroom and slammed the door behind him. "Textbooks out, and turn to chapter fourteen." He barked some more orders at us, nothing I really listened to, as the girl next to me and I sized each other up.

"You're Megan."

"Am I? Really? I hadn't noticed," I said dryly, opening my textbook to chapter fourteen and taking out a pen.

"Are you gay?" she asked bluntly, taking out a pen of her own.

I sighed. "No, I'm not. Just because my brothers are..."

"It's not that." I looked at her expectantly. "It's the way you are with Naminé, the way that you reject Seifer so strongly, you know? It's just... I don't even know why I'm asking you this. I don't even like you."

"I don't even know who you _are_," I told her, scrawling the date on my notebook and then chewing on my pen, trying to figure out what we were meant to be doing.

"That's exactly the sort of thing I hate about you. I've been in your grade since you moved to Twilight Town. I got held back, same as you." I scowled at the mention of being held back. "You don't get to know people unless it will benefit you, right? You don't do _anything_ without thinking it through first. I saw you when you came in. Looked at Naminé like you were begging her for something, and then she sat next to Seifer for you, sacrificed herself for you."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'd hardly call sitting next to that blonde dick self-sacrifice, just a mild inconvenience."

"Well then why didn't you sit next to him?" she asked. I still didn't know her name and glanced over at her desk, hoping to catch it on her notebook cover or something. No luck.

"Because he and I are having some _problems_ at the moment," I said harshly, copying down question one in my best handwriting to kill some time. "Look, if you hate me so much, why are you prying into my personal life? Why don't you just ignore me?"

"Because you need to take a _look_ at yourself. You just barrel through your life trying way too hard to get what you want, and you pay no attention to yourself, or anyone else."

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but who even _are_ you?"

"You never even noticed me, did you? I'm Demyx's ex boyfriend's girlfriend, Megan. You know, the guy you nearly drowned? I'm dating him. And I used to be Naminé's friend, as well, until you got your claws into her."

I blinked. "You know, you come across as a bit of a bitch." The thing was, I wasn't really enjoying this fight. As of late, I'd been experiencing this weird feeling of emptiness, and it was back in full force, a cold, dead nothingness spreading across my chest. "You should really shut up."

"I don't even hate you, you know, I just sort of feel sorry for you."

At this point, I decided I had had enough of this random bullshit, and her skirt caught fire.

Her screams filled the room along with the scent of burning fabric, and I kept my head down, scrawling bullshit answers about covalent bonding. Two people sprayed her with a fire extinguisher because I just couldn't be _bothered_ to put the fire out, and she was dispatched to the nurse's office with burns and something akin to shock. There was silence for a moment as the smoke filtered out of the window and everyone stared at me, knowing that only I could have done it.

"Megan?" I looked up at Seifer's voice, which was kind of stupid of me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I answered blithely, pretending not to know what was going on at all. Naminé looked at me sadly – one of her least favourite things is when I play dumb, especially when I'm talking about my feelings and shit – and most people just gaped at me, completely unsure as to how to respond, probably afraid that I was going to burn them all as well.

Vexen actually came over to me. "Megan, do you, erm, need to see Marluxia?"

"No, I'm fine," I said brightly, my voice cracking a little. "Why?"

"Megan –"

"I'm okay, sir. Just having a bit of trouble with covalent bonding."

Vexen sighed. "You know, he's really worried about you and your brothers. And he loves you, Megan, all three of you. Go on. Go talk to him. If for no other reason than that you get to avoid the questions about covalent bonding."

It occurred to me that Vexen didn't care about me in the slightest and the only reason that he was sending me to Marly instead of to Xemnas was because he was madly, madly in love with the school counsellor and wanted to do right by him.

For some reason, that earned him a whole bundle of respect from me.

xxx

You guys are lucky, I actually wasn't going to update until tomorrow, but I forced this. I only have like one chapter ahead now, and usually I have two, so I'm gonna have to do some serious extra writing once my mum and I have finished redecorating the house and shit.

Review please, I love you all! WOO!


	36. Chapter 36

****Warnings: ****Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings: ****AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and ****I don't own these characters****, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Roxas**

"Uhh... Axel, come on, wake up..."

"Don't want to." He was still holding me tightly, so I couldn't even have got up if I'd wanted to.

"Axel, it's ten in the morning. We're _really_ late for school."

"Fuck school," he responded blearily, still holding me, still half-asleep. "Let's just sleep some more."

"Axel –"

"Nobody's gonna miss us today, Roxie." He kissed the back of my neck, shifting slightly so he was less on top of me and more spooning me. "Megan will see to that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, sighing and snuggling into him more, closing my eyes again. Warm and content and bruised from sex, I couldn't really see the appeal in going to school, but one of us had to at least pretend to make an effort.

"I mean, your brother stayed over at Xigbar's last night, remember? Meggy'll be throwing her weight around all day to take the spotlight off Demyx. So nobody's going to notice the absence of a redhead and a little blonde, right? They'll all be too busy stopping her from destroying the whole school."

I thought this through, my tired mind whimpering with the strain of it. "Yeah, I guess. She wouldn't destroy the whole school, right?"

"Of course not," Axel said warmly, his hands on my waist, warmth spreading through me from his fingers. "You get back to sleep, Roxie. Everything will be okay."

I drifted back into sleep, waking up again at midday to Axel groping me, clearly not caring that I was asleep and this could count as him taking advantage of me. "Axel... Axel, you shouldn't... we shouldn't... I'm hungry."

He chuckled. "Aw, poor lickle Roxie skipped breakfast. C'mon, then, let's go and get some food. Hopefully my parents'll be at work, and if we're super lucky, my grandma will be at yoga. And then we can..."

"No." I peeled myself away from him. "I'm too tired, Axel. Can't it wait until –"

"Boys, are you awake?" Axel groaned and grabbed me again, yanking the duvet over me and himself. "I think they're still asleep, Ella."

"I would be too, after all the banging and screaming last night." How could Axel not be blushing? I was blushing like crazy, and I don't even blush very often. "Honestly, for such a little thing –"

"Ella, that's enough. Roxas isn't even that small." Axel was smirking at me and I had to fight the urge to kick him in the balls. "Let's go back downstairs, we don't want to wake them."

I nearly just got up and killed myself when I heard Axel's dad chip in with, "I would send them to school. Serves them right for choosing to do it on a schoolnight, really. And if their friends laugh at them, well, that'll build character."

"Oh, hush." Axel's mother was really, really nice, even if she did make quite a few really, really inappropriate comments from time to time. Angie was worse. "Roxas clearly needs some time off, you heard what Axel was saying about his older brother. Now, let's go downstairs and make some food, if they're hungry then they'll come down..."

I sat bolt upright. "You told them about Demyx?" I hissed, my eyes narrowing.

"Yeah... why?"

I scowled. "How _much_ did you tell them about Demyx?"

Axel sat up slowly as well, resting a hand on my knee like he could distract me that easily. "Not much, Roxie, I promise. Just that sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed and you have to help Meggy with it. That's all."

"Axel, you idiot, do you even _realise_ how important it is that stuff like that is kept quiet? If the wrong person gets wind of stuff like that, the three of us are off to new families before you can say "adoption agency". You're an _idiot_."

He leaned forwards and kissed me slowly, like he was still trying to memorise the taste of my mouth. "Yeah, but I'm your idiot, Roxie, and you _love_ me."

"I'm sure normal relationships aren't like this," I muttered, more to myself than to Axel. "I'm sure most people don't live in fear of being groped in their sleep and going five rounds more than they want to and..."

He grinned at me. It was a pretty sexy grin, I must admit. "Okay , then, do you want to go watch a movie or something tonight?"

I groaned. "You in a movie theatre? Surrounded by other people, including old people and children? _Fuck_ no."

"Aw, come on. I'd keep my hands to myself, I swear."

"If you didn't, you wouldn't get any for a year, you realise. I'm not having you scarring little kids for life, got it?"

"Yeah, got it memorised," he said almost boredly, before leaning in to kiss my lips. "Roxas, you are _so_ hot..."

"Even hotter because of you," I pointed out dryly, holding a hand to Axel's forehead like I was checking for a fever. Really, it was just a case of making sure that he wasn't going to burn me too badly and end up sending me to hospital. _That_ would be mortifying. Megan would never let me live it down.

Speaking of Megan...

"Axel? You think Megan'll be okay? She's looking worse and worse every day, and if Dem was at Xigbar's last night," (those words were still oddly bitter in my mouth, and I was starting to admit to myself that I resented not being told things like this) "she'll be super aggressive, right?"

"Yeah..." Axel said thoughtfully, making an obvious effort not to say the wrong thing to me, knowing my reputation as a very angry short person. "Well, the thing about Xigbar and Demyx, Rox, is that in a few months Dem will be eighteen, and if he wanted to –"

"No. He doesn't even know how to... no, Axel, he couldn't."

Axel pulled a face. "Sometimes I think Meggy knows everything, you know, but then sometimes I wonder what the fuck she thinks she's doing."

I nodded. "You wanna get something to eat?"

We went down into the kitchen, and Axel's parents and grandma mysteriously disappeared off into the living room, Angie whispering very loudly about "leaving them to enjoy the afterglow". If bruises and soreness and stickiness counted as an afterglow, then yeah, we were _loving_ it. Actually, okay, I won't lie, I felt great, and if the grin on Axel's face was any indication, he felt great too.

"I love you, you know. I know it's weird and everything, how fast we're going, but... I actually... I feel _certain_ with you, you know?" I broke off awkwardly, my heart hammering in my chest. "Like... like, I _know_ that we're..."

"That we're gonna last, yeah. I love you too, so, so much," Axel said quietly, running his fingers gently through my hair, my lips tilting upwards into a sleepy, content smile. "You're beautiful."

He pressed his lips to my forehead and then resumed eating the entire contents of the kitchen, probably hungry after fucking me a _lot_, and I suppose making love to me as well if you count them as two separate things.

Somehow, things just seemed better when I was with Axel.

**Demyx**

I skipped class for the very first time when Xiggy decided to show me the staffroom and we found ourselves a corner that was almost entirely hidden by the fridge and the potted plant, and we hung out for two periods with my arms around his neck and his hands on my hips, kissing sometimes but mostly talking about my big plan.

My big plan, which Xigbar really wanted to help me with. Even though he couldn't even afford a nice apartment for himself, let alone anything that Megan and Roxas and I wanted to live in. It was really sweet of him, but I would've felt guilty accepting anything from him, and Meg would probably refuse all offers of help straight away.

"Demyx..." he said quietly, as we listened to Marluxia making himself some toast. I doubt Marly would have said anything, but Xigbar had told me that if he accidentally let something slip to Vexen, we could both get in trouble and not be allowed to see each other again. Which was not something that either of us wanted. "What happens if Roxas makes a fuss?"

I had found out earlier that Naminé, Olette and Pence had bullied Axel into telling Roxas that I was sort of dating Xigbar as well as Zexion. I couldn't really imagine him taking that well, but I also don't think that he would be mean about it with me so fragile and weak (or so I wanted him to believe, just while the metaphorical dust settled) and besides, he trusted Megan, and if Megan said it was okay, that was that.

I hope.

"Well, I guess he'll just have to live with it. I put up with Axel, and he's... well, he's _okay_... I'm sorta scared of him." Xigbar kissed me again – he was doing a lot of that, probably just glad that the barrier was broken now – and pulled away slowly, looking at me with all the care in the world, I think because he was still afraid that he would go too far. It made a nice change from Zexion shoving me against walls and doing God-knows-what with his hands and my jeans, I have to say.

It's weird because with Zexy I feel _wanted_, and with Xiggy I feel _cared for_.

Xigbar looked at me steadily. "Why're you scared of Axel?" he asked, an edge to his voice that gave me flashbacks to both Megan and Roxas, especially when a-certain-person had broken up with me and everyone I knew wanted his blood.

"I don't know, really," I said slowly. "He looks weird. And he's loud, and he can play with fire..."

"You know, you and Megan and Axel aren't the only people who can play with things." I just blinked, mildly confused. Was he talking about himself? Did he have an element too? "I can play with _space_; watch."

He stuck his arm out directly to the side, and half of it disappeared, all the way up to his elbow just vanishing into a hungry nothingness. I stared, transfixed, at the half an arm that was still where it should be, jumping out of my skin and almost screaming when I felt a hand on my back.

Xigbar grinned at me. "Are you ticklish back here, DemDem?" The hand at my back started to move up and down, and I tucked my face into his shoulder before I let myself laugh, half-bewildered and half-amused, with shades of "I hope we don't get caught, I _hope_ we don't get caught...". "What d'you think?"

I took a deep breath. "It's... it's not as cool as using water." I pressed my lips to his before he could argue, noticing that the hand that shouldn't have been behind me was scratching me between the shoulder blades, like I was some kind of cat, and making me shudder with pleasure, my arms wrapping tighter around his neck.

"Demyx..." he whispered as we broke apart. "Fuck, I love you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I teased, smiling slyly. "Still, I love you too. And I promise I won't leave you just because my little brother thinks you're too old for me."

He grinned at me, and I noticed the way his mouth curved in the corner, not to mention the scar that I _loved_. "Demyx... fuck, I just... damn."

I swallowed. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he said, his grin spreading even wider as the hand behind me slipped to my lower back. "I have to say, I hate Zexion, but I can't really _blame _him..."

"Blame him for what?" I asked, blinking.

Xigbar chuckled. "What's the main thing that Zexion does when you're with him, Dem?"

"Um... weird stuff. He kisses my neck a lot..." I wasn't really sure how much to tell the guy who was, essentially, my second boyfriend. "He tries to take my clothes off and stuff, it's weird."

Xigbar kissed me again, softer this time. "Yeah, well. I hate him for it, you know, but... I can understand it."

"Understand it? Could you explain it to me? I don't get it. I mean, some of it feels good, especially when he kisses me right here," I pointed to that one spot on my collarbone that gave me tingles all over the place, "but some of it is just _bizarre_."

Xigbar looked at the point I'd just indicated on my collarbone. "Hm..." He pulled down the neck of my shirt – well, actually, it was his own shirt – and ducked down towards the skin, hovering just above my neck. "You okay with this, Dem?"

"Yeah. Put your arm back where it should be, though, it's starting to creep me out." He retracted his arm, latching his mouth onto my collarbone and doing the _weirdest_ things, making me whine and cling to him, trying to ignore all the weird tingling and heat rising in my face, and flooding into my stomach, and lower than my stomach which I didn't understand, but whatever.

"Xigbar? You in here?" I froze and he pulled away from me, slowly, looking over his shoulder. "Xigbar?"

He stepped out from behind the plant, giving me a classically Megan-esque "Stay _right_ there or you're in _huge_ trouble" look before talking to someone. I think Xaldin.

Eventually I was persuaded back to class by Xigbar, who was really reluctant to let me go, but who knew that if I was missing for too long, people would start asking questions.

They actually asked questions anyway. Carly and Gemma were especially curious about the small red mark on my neck, which they _insisted_ must have been from Zexion, but which in actual fact was self-inflicted.

"Demyx." I turned around to see Ella tipping her chair back in the row behind me. "Nice shirt."

I felt myself go pink, knowing that it was Xigbar's shirt, and thinking maybe she knew... "Thanks, Ella."

"You know, Zexion still hasn't decided whether or not he's going to Traverse." Ella was looking at me steadily, like a calmer Megan or a more forceful Naminé. "You mean the world to him."

I smiled. "He means the world to me, too."

She leaned forwards over her desk and grinned. "I know he does, Dem. Look after him, yeah?"

I nodded, pleased that I'd managed to say the right thing (for a change), and turned back to face the front (not that this particular teacher actually noticed either way) for the rest of the lesson, the only thing breaking my concentration being the frantic whispering between Carly and Gemma, who were still convinced that Zexion had bitten my neck for no real reason. Probably because he's such a big Twilight fan.

The bell rang and I escaped to lunch, bracing myself for the yelling, pushing, lack of air and abundance of people that was the cafeteria. Given my way, I'd never set foot in this horrible place, ever, at _all_, but I had to get food.

Breathing through my nose, clenching my fists and grinding my teeth, I bought some food and found myself an empty table, jumping halfway out of my skin when someone landed in the seat next to me, huffing and scowling and stabbing his lunch with a fork more viciously than was really needed.

"I have had _such_ a shit morning," Zexion fumed. "Fucking girls pestering me about you, fucking Vexen dropping fucking hints about fucking Xigbar, fucking assignment overdue..."

I just watched as he subsided into angry muttering and massacring his chicken, wondering how much of this would be my fault, and how much worse I could make this. "Zexion? Do you... do you want me to leave?"

"No, Demyx, it's okay." He really didn't sound like it was okay. Still, I moved a little closer to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry for spinning out at you..."

"It's okay, Zexy." I kissed the side of his head and he turned, kissing me back rather aggressively, his hands straying to my lower back and attempting to slide further down, but I caught his wrists, trying to giggle light heartedly and mask the confusion I was faced with. "You feel better yet?" I asked against his mouth, smiling at his smile.

"A little, yeah." He put an arm around me and went back to eating, a smile still on his face.

"Hey, Dem." Naminé sat down opposite me. "Have you seen Meg anywhere?"

I shook my head. "I guess she'd be with Marly if she isn't in here."

"Oh, okay. By the way, Xigbar said he'd come find you if he gets a chance." I swallowed, feeling Zexion stiffen next to me. "I'm off to find Marly and Meg. I'll see you around, yeah?"

I nodded slowly, trying not to think too hard about the idea of Xigbar and Zexion having a conversation. They wouldn't, anyway. If Xigbar showed up, Zexion would probably leave. And they wouldn't fight over me, anyway. They were both mature, and caring, and if they were really gonna fight, they wouldn't do it in front of me. Hopefully.

"I hate him." I looked at him. "I _hate _him, Demyx, I'm _sick_ of hearing about him and having him glaring at me in every English lesson and treating me like I'm _filth_ just because I'm in love with you, and it isn't my _fault_..."

"Don't." I took a deep breath. "I know that you hate him, okay? He hates you too." Okay, maybe not the most helpful thing to say, but... "What matters is that _I_ love you, and I don't want you fighting with him, okay? Please?"

Zexion sighed. "I just... I hate seeing you with him, because I know that you love him, and I'm scared that you'll leave me for him..." I cut him off with a quick kiss. "Sorry, I just..."

"Don't you worry about it. Just cheer up, right?" I spotted tears in his gorgeous eyes and frowned. "Zexion?"

"I'm okay. I'm just a horrible, jealous mess." He sniffed. "Sorry, babe."

"It's okay, really. It's normal to get jealous and stuff. At least you don't set people on fire like some people I could mention." Zexion smiled weakly. "Now, are you gonna eat your lunch on your own or do I need to feed you?"

"It'd be really cute if you fed me," he said. I sighed and started feeding him, missing his mouth about five times because my hand-eye coordination was never the best, and the horribly crowded cafeteria didn't help much.

I had just finished shovelling chicken into his mouth, wondering whose idea this was and why it was meant to be so romantic, when someone slid into the seat on the other side of me, paying absolutely no attention to Zexion whatsoever, and kissed my left cheek. "Hey."

"Hi, Xiggy." I took a deep breath. "You okay?"

He nodded, watching me settle into my seat so I was facing Zexion a little less, just so that nobody started bickering about who I was closer to. "How are you, gorgeous?"

"He's _great_, I've been taking great care of him." Zexion grabbed my hand and gave Xigbar a nice, pleasant death glare. "Right, Dem?"

"Yeah." I picked up my chocolate brownie and started cramming into my mouth to avoid conversation.

Xigbar took one look at me and immediately stopped glaring at Zexion. "DemDem? Are you okay?"

I nodded, mouth full of brownie, and fought hard to stop shaking, but to no avail. Now even Zexion looked worried. "'M fine," I said thickly through the sticky, chocolatey mess in my mouth.

"No, you aren't, Demyx," Zexion said sharply. "I can _feel_ you shaking. Do you need to go to the nurse or something?"

I shook my head. "Just crowded and stuff. 'M okay." I swallowed my last mouthful of sugar and fat and screwed the wrapper up in one hand.

"You know, Demyx, my shirt looks really good on you." I felt myself going pink and out of the corner of my eye saw Zexion raising one eyebrow, clearly not a happy bunny. (I don't think Zexion has ever been a bunny of any kind, least of all a happy one, but still.) "It's too big, though."

Zexion was completely silent, his hand painfully tight around mine, and I was flooded by fear.

"Um... yeah, thanks for lending it to me." I kept my eyes on the table. "Uh..."

"Demyx." I really tried not to look at Zexion, but my eyes flitted to his anyway. "Could you leave for a sec, babe? I want to talk to Xigbar."

I pulled my fingers out of his. "I don't want you to fight, guys. I love you both. Will you be okay if I leave?"

"Yeah, promise." Xigbar kissed my softly on the side of my head. "We aren't gonna do anything that'd upset you, right?"

"Yeah." Zexion was actually _agreeing_ with Xigbar. Wow, this was so weird. "It'll be fine, Dem. I promise." He kissed me too, my cheekbone, and put a hand on my lower back. "Go on, babe, we just need to talk."

I _knew_ that they were gonna start arguing, really, but I left anyway.

I started wandering around school, turning corner after corner and thinking about everything except the conversation that Xigbar and Zexion were probably having right now. I thought about Bowie and the adventures that she might be on right now. I thought about Axel and Roxas and what their wedding was going to be like. (Once, I was really upset, and Naminé sat me down and started to talk to me about how I was going to be the best man and Megan was going to be a bridesmaid and have to wear a _dress_, and there would be flowers and music and cake and everything. That was really fun to think about.) I thought about chocolate. I thought about sheet music. I thought about literally everything that bubbled to the surface of my mind. Everything but the two maybe-sorta-boyfriends I had left behind in the noisy, _awful_ cafeteria.

"But... but I can't..."

I stopped, and looked into the corner of the corridor. Larxene was sitting curled up on the floor, her phone pressed to her face. She was _crying_. After all the times I've seen her foaming at the mouth with rage, kicking things, throwing things, and generally making a fuss, I could understand that she needed to show a little weakness now and then. She really was a lot like Megan. I hovered in front of her, but she ignored me, muttering to the person on the other end of the phone. After about three minutes, she hung up and looked at me, face screwed up and tears staining her face. "D-Demyx... fuck off."

"No." I sat down on the floor next to her and smiled. "You have really nice eyes, Larxene."

She scowled. "Fuck off, Demyx."

"No. Look, Larxene, I think you have some problems in your life, right? But you need to look on the bright side. Like, you have really nice eyes, and you're gonna have a really pretty baby, and –"

"The baby is my _problem_. I don't think I can be a mother." She took a deep, shaky breath. "But thanks, you weird little fag child."

"Larxene? Are you straight?" I asked gently, completely out of the blue, but because I'd been wondering for a long time about this. "I mean, I know that's really random, but..."

"Nah, it's okay. I think I'm gay, yeah. Which is why I can actually get away with calling you a fag." She grinned at me, eyes still bloodshot and shiny with tears. "You know, nobody really asks me questions about myself like that. They just think, "Oh, shit, it's Larxene, hide the sharp things!""

I laughed. "I would _love_ if people would stop asking me questions about myself. All morning it's been "Are you dating Xigbar?" "Are you dating Zexion?" "Who are you in love with, Demyx?" "So you're definitely gay, huh?" and I'm _sick_ of it."

"Yeah, well. At least people pay attention to you." She sighed. "Well, I guess my daughter is gonna pay attention to me, at least."

"How do you know it's gonna be a girl?" I asked, looking at her stomach. She was starting to show a little, but it wasn't anything shocking.

She looked at her bump herself and ran a hand over it, her face softening a little. "I just _know_."

"Okay." I'm not even going to pretend to understand pregnancy and childbirth and all of that. "So... have you got a crush?"

She went a little pink. "Fuck off, you fag."

"Oh, you _have_," I chimed. It felt really great, hanging out like this. It was like... this was how things should have been with Megan. Just trust and confidence and teasing and happiness. If she wasn't so closed off all the time, if she wasn't so involved in everyone but herself... "C'mon, tell me who."

She was even pinker now, but her mouth was breaking into a smile. "Don't tell _anyone_, right?"

"Of course not. Pinky swear." She held out a pinky finger and I locked mine around it, grinning at her. "Come on, you can trust me."

"Um... okay... you know Naminé?"

I blinked. "Nami? You have a crush on _Nami_?" That _really_ hit me hard. "You know she has a boyfriend, right?"

"Well, yeah, but she _clearly _likes Megan, and I've been compared to Megan a lot, so..." She shrugged. "I dunno. And if you breathe a _word_ to _anyone_, I will rip your pinky finger off and shove it –"

"Yeah, I know, I'm not impressed," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm Megan's brother, remember. You can't scare me. We can be friends, but you won't scare me."

She smiled at me. "But we can be friends."

"Yup. And I promise I won't tell anyone that you actually like people sometimes." I didn't just mean that she liked Nami, I also meant that she was apparently my friend. "Now, are you gonna be okay? I need to go make sure that Xigbar and Zexion haven't killed each other yet."

She nodded. "I'll be okay. And Demyx?" I looked at her. "Thanks. I don't think anyone else would have stopped."

I smiled at her. "It's nothing. You're a nice girl."

I tried not to act like it was a big deal, but speaking as someone who had stood on the very edge of the top of the clock tower, I knew that I could have just saved her life.

xxx

Well, that was a long, horrible eight months. I'm so, so sorry for not updating in so long. SO sorry. I've missed writing for you guys, I really have, but things have been, um, difficult at home, to say the least. Still, they're a lot better now. And I promise I will finish this fic, and A million munny, and The Babysitter, even if it kills me.

Thank you if you're still here, or if this is your first time reading, or anything at all, really. You guys are my inspiration, and other cheesy crap. Insert review whoring here


	37. Chapter 37

****Warning: ****Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

****Pairings: ****AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and ****I don't own these characters****, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

**Lexaeus**

One thing that really, really, really hurt was arriving in English and not seeing Megan.

I had suffered through counselling and guilt and sleepless nights, loneliness and depression, all with one thing in mind: "I'll see Megan and Naminé soon." Naminé and Megan were complete polar opposites of each other, and Megan was more similar to me than Nami, but that didn't mean for a second that I liked Megan more. I spent more time with Megan, true, but only because Naminé was really sweet, and I couldn't handle her in more than small doses.

But she wasn't in English. I sat on my own until Xigbar showed up, then quietly got up and quietly crossed the room and quietly asked where Megan was. Apparently she'd been with Marluxia all day.

I wasn't a big fan of Marluxia, incidentally, because he was such a fucking _girl_, but he helped Megan a lot, so I ignored him.

I spent the rest of the lesson chewing my fingernails compulsively, staring out of the window, and wondering why nobody I liked was single.

"Lex?" I looked up. Megan was standing over me, the first period of double English having just finished. "You okay?"

"Megan! Shit, I'm glad you're back." I very rarely hug people, but today I hugged Megan, just because I was glad to see her. "Everything okay? I know you spent a lot of time with Marly today..."

"Yeah, I've just been a little... aggressive this morning. So... yeah. But anyway, are you all right? You look really tense."

I sighed. "I just, um, well... I didn't think you were... coming back."

"Well, ain't you a sweetheart." She dug through her pockets. "Look. Look at these fucking things." I watched silently as she produced a sheet of pills and held them up, eyeing them with contempt. "I am on fucking _antidepressants_, Lexaeus. I have never been more pissed off with Marluxia in my _life_."

"Shit, Megan, that sucks." I took them out of her hands and looked at them. "Hey, this isn't right, yours are stronger than mine."

"Wait, you're on them too?" she asked, sounding a little less angry about the medication when she heard that she wasn't the only one. "Well... okay. So why are mine stronger?"

"Well, I was on this strength, but then things got better and I _hated_ the side effects so they gave me weaker ones." I turned them over in my hands, looking at the size of the pills and listening to the horrifyingly familiar shake of tablets in a plastic sheet. "It's weird, though, because I'm a whole lot bigger than you, so you should be on a weaker dose anyway, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Maybe I'm just really depressed." She shrugged. "I don't wanna take them, though. What are they even like? Do they help?"

"They're not gonna help if... okay, I'm gonna tell you what the doctor told me. It's like, there are almost two categories of depression, organic and reactive. If you have organic depression, it's like, you would be depressed whatever's going on, because of a hormone imbalance or whatever, so these are going to help. But if it's reactive depression, that's depression that is a response to events in your life, and antidepressants aren't going to help because they're not dealing with the issues in your life at the moment, right? They might even make you feel worse. And the side effects aren't great." I shook my head, remembering the side effects. Not fun. "So, what do you think? Organic or reactive?"

"Um... I dunno. I can never remember being happy, but I can't remember having anything but shit going on around me, so... anyway." She took the pills back off me. "You think I should actually take 'em?"

"If you want." I frowned, seeing another gap in the logic of Megan being prescribed strong antidepressants. "Marluxia doesn't have the power to prescribe medicines, though, does he?"

She shook her head, smiling wryly. "No, but Aeris apparently does. She was sweet about it, I admit that. She was like "Now, I know you're gonna feel bad about taking these, but it's really normal. There are other kids in your grade who take these, and they're still themselves." Aeris is actually really nice."

"Yeah. D'you like her?"

Megan laughed. "I'm _straight_, Lex! And even if I weren't, I don't like every single girl I meet, right? Like, you aren't crushing on every guy in here, right?"

I thought about this. "Seifer and Rai are okay but too big, I would have Harry all over the floor, Xigbar's cute, although Demyx would have some problems with that, and he's a bit old for me, the blonde over there is _fine_... but then, I'm a guy, my sex drive is a little higher than yours."

"Oh, come _on_, there's gotta be at least one guy you don't wanna fuck," Megan insisted, laughing and looking around the room. "Um... Jacob?"

"Huh, he's not _that_ hot, but you know, if he were up for it..." She rolled her eyes. "Okay, there is one guy, not in this class, that I would never, ever even think about."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah." I grinned at her. "Lee –"

"Do not speak his name," she growled, and I chuckled. "Not _funny, _Lex. Demyx nearly –"

"I know, I know. But you're the one always kidding about me stabbing people." Megan scowled. "I know I piss you off, but you _love_ me."

"I hate you. I hate you so bad. Leave me alone." She was laughing, though, and she shoved me lightly, attracting the attention of Seifer, who glared daggers at me. He was _always_ glaring at me. One day, he was going to understand that Megan was gay, and that I was gay, and that there was _nothing going on_, and that he didn't have a chance with her anyway. Even in the event that Megan was straight, she wasn't going to touch him with a burning stick, because apart from anything else, she wouldn't touch _anyone _with a burning stick.

"Hey. Lexaeus." I looked over at him, smiling brightly and deciding to play on the whole "I'm hitting on your girl, man" thing, leaving my arm loosely around Megan's waist, just to piss him off. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, well, I broke some bones and shit." Megan rolled her eyes discreetly and pulled away from me, glaring at Seifer. "I missed you, you know."

He just looked at me. "Oh, _really_? Looks like you missed Meggy even more." Her jaw locked at being called Meggy, especially by this guy, who was sliming all over the place being rather attractive but manipulative and evil and shit. "Did you miss him, Megan?"

"Yeah, I did." She hugged me, and I felt her shaking a little. I couldn't tell whether that was from the exhaustion, or whether she was just scared of Seifer. "He's one of my best friends, you know."

Seifer was still sizing me up, analysing the light physical contact between us, the casual hug that Megan was using more for security than anything else, scowling heavily at me. "Yeah, well."

"What? You don't like Lex?" She was clearly playing the whole "I'm getting hit on by this guy you hate" card as much as I was, just to piss Seifer off.

"No, I don't. Thought you weren't talking to me, anyway?" He was being sharp but I could see the clinginess, the _begging _in the back of his eyes. Megan, however, is not really good at seeing things like that, and scowled.

"Evidently I am. And just... look, don't be a bitch to Lex, right?"

He nodded slowly, glancing at Xigbar. "Right. I won't be a bitch to Stabby over there... at least, not while you're around."

I froze completely. The entire _world_ froze completely. He called me Stabby. He _knew_. He fucking _knew_. How did he fucking _know_?

"Seifer, did you just call Lex _Stabby_?" She made it sound as if it were the most ludicrous thing you could possibly call someone, which I appreciated.

He grinned evilly and I swallowed, fighting the nausea and guilt and anger that was swimming around in my stomach. "Yep. And you know why, don't you, Meggy?"

She growled, low and kinda cute in the back of her throat. When you spend enough time with Megan (and this is something Demyx agrees with me on) a lot of her threatening little tricks just become kind of endearing and sweet. I suppose it also helps that I'm gay and don't fall for the sex appeal, which I think she exploits completely unknowingly to gain power over guys who want it but can't get it and girls who want to have what she has but don't know how to go about it. (Naminé and I have some very deep conversations about our pyromaniac best friend sometimes. We also talk about guys a lot. It's cool.) "You're a _dick_, Seifer."

He just smiled even more, probably quite enjoying her anger. I happen to know that if you're sexually attracted to someone, you are often quite turned on by them being angry. "Don't worry, Meggy, I won't tell anyone." She scowled even more. "As long as you're pleasant to me, I'll be pleasant to you, right?"

He was cute, but my _God _I hated his guts.

"Hey! Lexaeus, Megan, Seifer, everything okay?" Xigbar was suddenly right next to us. I actually learned from Marluxia that Xigbar can fuck around with space a lot. So, like, he can warp from place to place and weird shit like that. It's like how Megan is learning to talk to fire, except cooler and less lethal. "We don't want you guys fighting, right? Just simmer down."

"Oh, shut up, just because you're fucking her brother," Seifer said scathingly, for the whole class to hear. There was a horrible, sickening silence, in which Xigbar and Megan both looked stricken. The thing is, it was pretty much common knowledge that there was _something_ between Demyx and Xigbar, but nobody had ever really called him up on it. And if people were actually throwing around loud accusations about him, and claiming that he actually was having sex with an underage student, well, he was going to get into shit.

"Seifer, first of all, no, I'm not." Xigbar's voice was deadly quiet, and I saw quite a lot of Megan in him. Megan herself actually pulled closer to me, either scared or miserable, I couldn't really tell. "Second, whatever the fuck is going on with me and Demyx, it's not going to affect my treatment of Megan. I'm not that unprofessional. And third, all I said was to simmer down, because Megan likes fire a lot and you're not a big fan of being set fire to, right? So just quit being a dick and leave Lexaeus and Megan alone."

He earned himself a smattering of applause for that, because not everybody loves Seifer, and _everybody _loves seeing someone being taken down a notch by someone like Xigbar, someone who gets all their respect through being nice but also not taking bullshit. Grinning, Megan pulled away from me a little as Seifer skulked off, everyone still sniggering behind his back. Xigbar returned to whatever he did instead of teaching, and Megan leaned against a wall, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. "Tired?"

She didn't usually admit to things like that around other people, but just for me, she nodded.

**Roxas**

Back home, all on my own for a change because Megan and Dem were still at school, I wandered around the house a bit, did some half-hearted cleaning, and then tripped up the stairs. I figured maybe I would see if there was any tidying I could do for Megan, since I doubt organisation was her main priority at the moment, but I stopped dead halfway up the staircase. I could hear a sort of low rumble from upstairs and figured that even if it wasn't Dad-related I didn't really want to know about it.

I had to admit that I was far more scared of Dad than I was of Megan. Or anyone.

Heading back down the stairs I noticed cat hairs or some shit on the carpet. Great. I didn't even know how we would go about getting rid of cat hairs on the carpet; I don't think we ever owned a vacuum cleaner. I don't think I would know how to use one. I sighed and dropped off the last step, then let my eyes flick over to the doormat. We had mail. That wasn't a surprise. We usually got bombarded by bills and junk mail, neither of which interested me, but today there was an envelope without an address, just my full name handwritten in the centre.

If it was a love letter from Axel I would probably have to kill him. I mean, being gay is one thing, but being _that_ gay is kinda sickening. I told myself I didn't absolutely love it as I picked up the small paper rectangle I told myself that Axel was annoying and that our relationship wouldn't last forever as I tore into the envelope, pulling out a piece of paper with purple writing all over it. _Not Axel's handwriting_, I thought, trying not to feel too disappointed. Hadn't I _just _been thinking that love letters were gross and girly and stupid?

I almost didn't want to read it now, but I knew that if I didn't, I'd be curious for weeks. Sighing, I walked to the kitchen, letting my eyes drift down to the paper in both hands.

_Roxas,_

_You probably don't remember me. My name is Sora._ Sora's name did sound familiar, but I couldn't pin a face to it as I opened the fridge and took out an apple. I did try and leave those for Nami, but man cannot live on Oreos alone. _I've been looking for you for a while now. That sounds creepy, but I can't explain now. I'm worried someone will find this letter who shouldn't._ Maybe he knew about Dad. _I just wanted to let you know I'm still around, you know, if you want to look me up or anything. Maybe you do remember me, but I won't get my hopes up about that; you were only tiny when you went away. Just give it some thought. Give me some thought. My surname is the same as yours. I'm on Facebook, but you'd have to add me to see any of my pictures or anything – I'm kind of paranoid about internet safety. One of my friends had a bad experience with someone online. If you want to meet me in person some time I could tell you all about it. I'd really like to meet up with you, Roxas. I know you don't miss me, or you would have come looking, but I miss you. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Sora._

I took a very deep breath and folded the letter back up, biting into my apple again. I knew he wasn't immediate family or I would know about him, so that ruled out the possibility of him being my brother, dad, uncle or cousin... I couldn't really tell whether I actually cared about this supposed relative of mine or whether I was just kind of curious. I finished my apple and went back into the front room, hoping there was at least one laptop in there that I could look up this Sora kid on.

Halfway through the door, though, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I said, leaning against the doorframe.

Of course, there was only one person it logically could be. "Roxie..."

I sighed heavily. "What's up, Axel?"  
>He giggled. Oh, god. "I had <em>beer<em>..." I could kind of tell by the fact that your speech is almost incomprehensible. "Lots... of beer..."

"Why did you have lots of beer?" I asked softly, sitting down on the sofa and cramming Sora's letter into my pocket.

There was someone laughing and shouting in the background. "I found my _brother_!" He was yelling now, somewhere between excited and angry. I pulled my phone a little further away from my ear, lest my drunken boyfriend deafen me, and sighed. "I found him!"

"That's great, Axel, and I –"

He hissed at me. Wow. Okay, I would let him speak. "I wanna talk! I have a list."

"A... list?"

"A list. Of things." He hiccuped. It was kinda cute, in all honesty. "Things that are wrong with our relationship." Oh. There were things wrong? "Number one: We have too much sex." Damn straight we did. We were putting the children of Trojan employees through college. "I _like_ the sex, but you think it's too much. Too much is bad. Number two is that... uhh..." His voice fell into a mumble: "What, what does this say, Reno? ...oh. Okay. Thanks. Yeah, number two is that you don't have any pet names for me."

"Well, if you want then I can –" I began, but he growled.

"_Number three_," he ground out, as his brother quietened down, "is that your family is fucked up but you won't... you don't wanna leave them." There was a loud crash. "Fuck – fuck, I need to go – I love you, but I'm mad at you, but I wanna fuck you – just – talk later?"

I nodded, frowning worriedly. "I love you too, babe. Sure we can talk later." He had hung up while I was talking and I closed my phone, sighing. I should probably make sure he was okay. I got to my feet, grabbed my wallet and jacket and shot out of the door, heart hammering in my head. That boy would be the end of me.

But what a sweet and sticky end it'll be.

The letter felt heavy in my pocket. I decided not to think about it until I knew Axel was okay. His house was about a twenty-minute walk from mine, or ten minutes if I'm as worried as I was right now. His front door seemed to glow when I approached it – speed-walking a mile or so isn't exactly the most fun I've ever had, especially when I was starting to freak out as well. I knocked on the door and his mom answered it, looking pleased to see me until she saw the look on my face.

"Is Axel okay?" I asked urgently, and her face fell even further.

"I – I thought he was with you!" _Fuck_. So he wasn't here. _Fuck_. "I thought, you know, he walked you home –"

I shook my head. "I got this phone call..."

The more I explained, the worse it sounded, and I found myself shaking hard. I was scared. I was very scared because I was very in love with Axel, and I very much wanted him to be okay.

Within ten minutes, Axel's mom had relayed the story to his dad and grandma as well and we were in their car. I think Angie was talking to me about how it wasn't my fault, but I didn't pay much attention. I was kind of busy freaking out.

At least this way, that letter was the furthest thing from my mind. I was kind of too busy completely fucking freaking the fuck out.

"Roxas, hand me your phone," Axel's mom said, and I did so. There was some rapid tapping of buttons, and then she growled in frustration. "I used to be able to – back when I worked for – AHA!"

I jumped out of my skin, but Axel's dad just chuckled. "You still love hacking that much, Ella?"

Angie chuckled too and I found myself almost smiling, even though I still felt sick with fear. "Of course she does, she's as much a delinquent as the boys." I have to agree there; I've overheard her discussing lockpicking, hacking and shoplifting, and I'm pretty sure I've seen her name and initials graffitied in various dirty corners of the town. "You traced the call, I assume?"

"Among other things." She handed my phone back to me. "You've got unlimited calls and texts now, and your internet should run much faster." I just let my mouth hang open. "And start putting kisses on the end of your texts to Axel, he'll only pout otherwise."

I nodded slowly as the car sped up, clinging to my phone as though it would protect me from Axel's dad's terrifying driving, even worse with Ella giving semi-coherent directions.

We pulled up outside what looked like a decrepit car park and got out. I wasn't really sure why the whole family had decided to tag along. That is, until Angie picked up her walking stick and smashed a door down with it, then bellowed "Axel?!"

There were two fairly similar voices, one of which I knew all too well, coming from one of the upper floors. I pushed ahead of Angie, barely even caring about the fact that I had just shoved my boyfriend's grandma a little, and sprinted up a filthy, damp staircase. Axel was sitting on the damp, dirty floor, giggling hysterically, with a boy that looked like an older version of himself but with bags under his bloodshot eyes, and even skinnier than my already too-skinny boyfriend. "Roxie?" Axel said, looking up at me confusedly. "Why...?"

"You fucking _scared_ me, Axel," I whispered, falling to my knees a foot away from him and looking at him. He didn't look... himself. "How much have you had to drink?"

I couldn't hear his parents or his grandma and I assumed they were still on the floor below. They probably assumed I knew what I was doing. (I didn't.) "Some... stuff..." He giggled again. "You should try –"

"No, thanks." Thanks to Demyx's last boyfriend, I knew weed when I smelt it, and I wasn't even going to let him offer. "Axel, I know you're pleased to see your brother and all, and I'm not gonna ask you to leave him or anything, but maybe we should get you up off the ground? Your clothes will get all dirty." I held a hand out to him and he took it, trusting as a small child, and together we got to our feet. "You too, uh –"

"Reno." He reached back and adjusted his greasy ponytail. "N' I'm fine."

Axel leaned against me, giggling weakly again. "This my Roxie," he said thickly, pointing to me and accidentally poking my arm quite hard. "Told you he's hot..."

Reno nodded, licking his teeth in a kind of scary way. "He _is_..."

"Your family's downstairs," I said abruptly. "Do... do you wanna..."

Reno shook his head but Axel nodded, and I took a deep breath as the two stared each other down, Axel's venom-green eyes brighter and fiercer than his brother's, who just looked worn down and tired. "Lego," he muttered, which I believe meant "Let's go", and I helped him very slowly and carefully down the stairs, not turning to check that Reno was following. I knew he wouldn't be.

Axel looked heartbroken when we reached the ground floor and Ella only said, softly, "He's not coming home, is he?"

The ride back to Axel's place was quiet and agonising, and I wrapped my arms around his waist in the backseat, him mumbling drunkenly about how lucky he was to at least have me. Every adult in the car was silent, jaws tight and eyebrows tighter, the perfect picture of loss.

I would tell Axel about the letter in my pocket when he was sober. And when I wouldn't feel awful for gaining a relative just as he re-lost one.

xxx

Ughhh. I'm really having issues with writing at the moment, for personal reasons that you can PM me about if you give a shit, so this chapter took much longer than it should have. It's here now, though, and it's dedicated to xionnevermore, one of my all-time favourite reviewers and the main reason I'm even bothering to continue this fic. Thanks to her and to all my other readers for helping me to keep writing, and loves to you all :D


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